Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Alexia

Harriet I completely get your angst. I will keep my 🤞🏼for you!!

Mouse Madrid should be great in September- not too hot! Where are you staying?

Right I had better get up - off to Crews Hill to buy some grit for the allotment and then getting my toenails done for my holiday - flying out on Wednesday. And then my lovely nephew gets back from a camping trip in Austria this evening and is then having a sleepover with me.

harriet I can definitely see something - fingers crossed the line gets darker!

hallows eek wedding dress, how exciting. I bet you can't wait!!

Kathrino would love to see treatment plan if you're happy to share - I'll probably be a few months behind you. We have our nurse appointment in October. Wine and cheese sounds very medicinal and needed!

Sorry about CD1 Alexia - treat yourself to some chocolate!

Pug and Mouse I agree you've just got to go ahead and book things. I've spent so long putting off stuff as I thought I would be pregnant - and I'm still not. Although now I'm getting wary of planning stuff in case we're going through IVF!

basset thinking of you, so sorry you're feeling sad.

kwick hope you feel better soon

Our wedding yesterday was good - a little bit hungover today. Got asked a lot about babies. One woman said to me she had helped loads of people get pregnant, including someone who'd been trying for 2 years. So I asked her what her tips were (should have just ignored it!) and she proceeded to tell me there were only 24 hours in a month you could get pregnant and her and her husband just did it for 9 days in a row. Thought she'd have more helpful advice to be honest...

What do you all say when people ask if you want kids or are planning on them? I'm just a bit cryptic and say 'ooh yes maybe one day...'

Congratulations struggle. Hope you had the day you wanted. My line when people ask about when are we having baby is to say hopefully at some point in the next five years.

basset oops - not our wedding, just the one we went to. Read that back and realised it was confusing. Wish we could do our wedding again!

Sorry my bad. I'm not sure my brain is actually working today haha.

I guess I am lucky Struggle as being single no one asks me! If they only knew

So sorry about AF plus baby bomb alexia what a shit combination. Hope you're alright. I remember you guys conceived before and really really hope it happens again and sticks before you have to try IUI/IVF.

Good to see you pug sorry to hear things have been so tough. I find thinking about Christmas hard too, it should all be so different. All the best with your upcoming appointment

Baguette I can sympathise - my mum has just retired and we've had a few people saying ooh she'll want to be a grandma now, looking at us 🙄

Tentatively so happy and excited for you harriet. Really hope that the steroids are just what you need to make this one work

Sometimes it's the little things that just set you off basset it sounds like you needed a big cry

Kwick I really bloody hope so, I'm mentally preparing myself that it might not happen first time and it may take a few goes. Hope you're feeling better, I've come down with a sore throat and feel like it might be the start of something. Crews Hill is quite near me

Struggle congratulations on your wedding! Yes - have lots of sex is not exactly groundbreaking advice is it

Hopefully I've attached the pics of the main bits of plan struggle and hopefully you can read it!

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!

PS they're in reverse order (or at least they are when I look at them!). The first page starts 1st Period.

I still feel off Jamon like a low level cold.. sure it will come fully out when I am on holiday.
Hope you are feeling better
We are frequent visitors to Crews Hill - Whilst I am addicted to beauty products; my mum is addicted to garden centres

They look familiar kathrino I hope you get the nice scanners and nurses.

I treated myself to a pedicure...

Congratulations Struggle - my usual response is a plain and simple "yes" because I've found that uncertain answers like "maybe" or "eventually" lead to more probing questions.

Harriett - I understand your worry but I'm still going to say congratulations, I hope this is the one I really do xx

I'm definitely ovulating today, I feel like I was punched in the ovaries right now. We didn't DTD yesterday though so think I may have screwed it all this time. Ah well...

skipper get to RIGHT NOW!!!

Apologies in advance for the rant.

My best friend (who I don't see often now, and who miscarried end of Feb) just called me to tell me she's SIXTEEN weeks pregnant with her 3rd, whilst I sit bleeding into a Mooncup. Her son turns 2 next month. I wanted to spend maternity leave with her in 2015. I held it together as much as I could on the phone but I'm so so sad about it.

I then called my mum right after to tell her and I had a massive crying meltdown. My horrible mother proceeded to tell "stop crying then" after I had replied to her "yes, I've told you we're going to start treatment next year". I couldn't believe it. I told her she was an ignorant cow and hung up. I then messaged her to say I was done with her and also to watch me cut you off quicker than you said "stop crying then". I honestly don't need a person like that in my life (she also said other judgemental stuff before that like "you're just waiting for a baby to be handed to you").

Thanks for all the kind words since yesterday too, you lovely lot ❤️

Lovely nail design kwick

Hope you've had a GOS skipper

Congrats Harriet fx the steroids do the trick and you get to meet this lo 🤞

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

Rant away alexia. Sorry your mum was so insensitive, you had every right to be upset and needed support, not a response like that

skipper happy shagging

Shit Alexia what a crappy set of events since AF I think it's safe to say you're not just waiting for a baby to be handed to you, given what you've put into this. Really hope some space and understanding from your mum helps you guys, I'm sure you'll need as much positivity and support if you do go down the treatment route - take care of yourself xxx

struggle not sure I've got my response down yet - usually a non-committal 'yeah, I guess at some point'. Was just thinking about this today & whether being non-committal is because I'm embarrassed to admit I'm trying & failing...which objectively seems silly (the 'failure' bit) - I feel like I should be more honest :s

kwick love the nails :)

Alexia I am very sorry about the baby bomb and you mum's lack of support. Giving you a mahoosive hug my darling

Fcuk honesty quiet just say what you feel confortable with. In your heart you know the truth and the hard road you are travelling.

Thank you for understanding girls It means a lot. I have a banging headache. Fml

Your mum has been like this before hasn't she Alexia? I don't understand it. Parents are supposed to support you unconditionally and I'm not surprised you want to butt her out of your life. Maybe she'll come round on her own and realise the pain she's causing...

Ah Alexia parents are weird, you are stronger than your mums words so remember that. And the baby bomb, I'm sure there's a reason why she left it till she was 16 weeks, remember everyone has their own path, I'd hate for you to look back at this time and think of creating your little miracle(s) as sad and horrible. Remember why we're doing this. Sending massive hugs.

Yesterday we got a new mattress in a bid to help me sleep (I'd say better but I'd take anything right now), my mum in her innocent and embarrassing ways said "maybe this will help you bonk better" I died. Then DH replied "don't really need help with that part" I died some more "that's good to know, keep at it" and I just recoiled back into the sofa while my mum laughed. EWWW 🤢

But talking about shit parents. In-laws didn't even come see me after my mmc. Not a bunch of flowers or a text to see if I was ok. MIL said "well, I don't really know what to say to you" how about sorry or I hope you're ok 🤔😐 but then again I can't expect much from a woman who told her son his grandad had died via answering machine message like she was telling him she'd booked a holiday. 😐

Kwick we've got a beautiful private airbnb apartment in Madrid just by plaza mayor so I'm hoping central to everything. Going to start planning everything soon so if you have any tips, fire them my way. 🤓

6DPO today. Trying to ignore the tummy twinges. 🤔

Oh alexia poor you. Your mum really has no idea. It sounds like she just doesn't know how to even start comforting you - probably feels really helpless (not that that excuses insensitivity). Hope you feel a bit better today. AF time is the absolute worst.

mouse time really dragging eh?

skipper i sincerely hope you had a GOS yesterday!! Ovulation pain doesn't always match up the moment the egg is released - for some people it comes before. And even if you did ovulate yesterday, day of ovulation is one of the best days to HS for conception (as you probs know).

smitten how are you doing??

My best friend getting easily pregnant has probably been one of the most painful parts of infertility for me alexia and wanting to share the experience and maternity leave with her was exactly how I felt too. My mum was also incredibly insensitive about it and I left their house over a mean comment she made at the time. I just think they have absolutely no idea - they don't know what to say and they have no idea how it feels. It doesn't stop them showing unconditional love and support though, which is all I've told my mum I need. I'm really sorry yours has been so shit - I know she's been a big support to you before and I hope you can overcome this

That's shocking about your in laws mouse

I got really angry last night at the whole situation, driving back down the M1 from the inlaws i just had a massive rant. Had another go at him too - I'm just so fed up of being the person who brings it up. Us starting a family was clearly an elephant in the room over the weekend, we've got first our infertility counselling appointment tomorrow and it's fertile week. He has not mentioned one of these things - I have to bring them all up. It drives me mental. How can he not want to talk about the biggest thing we are going through - that we've ever been through? I said to him he has an opportunity over the next few months - which could well be the hardest - to actually support me. Talk to me, support me through it. He seemed to take this on board but I'm not holding my breath.

On being fertile week - there's part of me tempted to not mention it; not initiate sex or do anything. Which means absolutely nothing will happen as he never ever shows the initiative and then if he eventually asks say casually oh I ovulated last week. I am so sick of being the one who makes all the effort!!! so ranty this month

Harriett - yeah we managed it but I think I stood up to quickly as I felt most of it come out. Sorry TMI. Will do again tonight just to be safe.

Oh dear, a lot going on.
Alexia that sounds really difficult, hope your mother realises how unhelpful that is. You're hardly waiting for a baby to be handed to you if you've been TTC for ages along with the stress of your husband's visa etc. It's sooo hard seeing friends have babies easily, it can feel like a gulf opening in the friendship. Take care.
My parents don't know we're TTC, my dad asked and I told him we weren't bothered either way. When I get asked by randoms I usually say I enjoy being child free or we'd prefer a puppy because it's none of their business. Or sometimes I say "never say never". It's hard, I keep a smile on my face but I don't want them to see into this pain and intrude on it.

Mouse sounds like your PIL could do with an empathy injection.

Jamon hope your DH steps up. Have a think about telling him it's the fertile week. If you don't HS how will it make You feel never mind him?

Hope things are good Harriet.

I'm CD8, need to get started with DH.

I'm applying for 2 jobs today. I thought I could stick at my current job and get maternity leave etc. They are quite flexible really about children BUT the job has its own stresses and DH thinks the stress of work isn't helping, I think he's right. It would also be so Sod's law to get a new job and then get pregnant, wouldn't it? Everything crossed except legs!