Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Hi everyone -- so, this happened....

Oooh congrats Smitten!!!!

skipper Yep she has. I thought she was getting better but clearly not! She's just not the type of mother I need/would like unfortunately. DH says he doesn't know why I bother speaking to her about this stuff when she constantly upsets me or makes me feel like she has no time for me. I don't have many people I can sob down the phone to but I won't turn to her again.

Mouse unfortunately this has ruined my life, my self confidence and pretty much everything else. I doubt I will ever be able to erase this from my memory. I've watched my best friend be pregnant, give birth, her son turn one, her have an 8 week miscarriage she didn't even care much about and now she's 16 weeks after falling pregnant pretty much instantly again. It's just all so unfair. She has marital and financial issues too which rubs salt in the wounds further. I know it wouldn't have been easy for her to tell me but she's had many chances to. I asked her earlier this month if she'd had any luck and she ignored that part of my message. She would have been well over 12 weeks at that point.

Wow your MIL/in laws sound very cold. Can't believe she hasn't even said "I'm so sorry for your loss". I'm glad you have your lovely mum and family though.

Jam that's exactly it. I don't mind that she's pregnant it just hurts so much that I'm not, and I know she'll give birth before I'm anywhere close to having a baby. I'm so sorry your mum has been insensitive too. It's so unnecessary. At least we'll be kinder mothers if we ever get the chance. Hope your DH pulls it together for FW. I think you'll regret not saying anything to him so maybe say this is the last time I'm going to bring it up/remind you about it? I often feel the same with my dh, it feels like I'm the one forcing the sex.

Thanks for understanding Baguette. I sometimes wish I'd kept my mouth shut too but I couldn't hold it in any longer as I was so tearful at Xmas time. Good luck for fertile week 🤞

Thanks Harriet. How are you feeling?

Yay congrats Smitten that's amazing news! I've forgotten your stats, can you fill us in please?

Woo smitten congrats!!! Lucky cycle buddies! What dpo are you? That's a great line!

mouse haha! Sorry you got embarrassed but I think your hubby rose very well to the occasion!
Do you like calamari? Well Madrid delicacy - calamares con mayonesa in a baguette - DELICIOUS!!!!
Been years since I have visited Madrid so not much else I can say...

7.59

A huge virtual hug from me Alexia - I can understand how hard it must be just being stuck in this limbo while all around you people just seem to be progressing life with complete ease. I'm very fortunate in that I don't have any friends or family who have burdened me with such news. I know my sister-in-law has started trying though, and as much as I don't want it to be - it kind of feels like a race now. And if I loose it, I'm not even sure how I will feel.

Ahh smitten!!! Amazing - congrats! Wishing you a fun 9 months xx How did your OH take it?

kwick wise words, as ever :)

jam that is so frustrating - though Alexia and baguette make good points on what would ultimately make you feel better. Can you talk it out, do you think he's bottling stuff up or just not thinking about it? It is unfair though, this isn't just on you and you need actual support

mouse love the mum/DH chat

Smitten congratulations!!! That's a good line!

Harriet Usually I NEVER symptom spot, never even test but something feels different. Dare I say I feel the same as I did last BFP cycle and I'm not sure if that makes me happy or petrified. It's probably all in my head but my tummy feels tender and delicate. I'm not getting ahead of myself though it's still far too early.

Alexia I'm so sorry, I wish you didn't feel like that I really do. I get it though I really do. At the start of my TTC journey back in 2013 my close friend died suddenly, (which made us pause the first time) ( she had a 2yr old) and since then her husband, also our close friend has had a girlfriend, gotten engaged, his son potty trained, split up, got a new girlfriend, gotten engaged, announced a pregnancy, had another son and that baby just turned 1. When we told him about the mmc all he could say was he was sorry, that all it took was for him to look at his partner and she was pregnant. For some it's easy. For some it's hard. You are so strong, don't doubt that. I feel like you are going to be a wonderful mum who never overlooks the small things and maybe even appreciates every second a little bit more. You will get there. Don't give up. X

Kwick hmm not great with seafood but might give it a go. Mostly looking forward to churros!!! 😂😂😂😇

Thanks for the congrats, ladies -- I'm in shock! harriet, we are lucky cycle buddies!! I am wishing you a very boring nine months.

Okay, so stats:
age: 32
cycle: 5ish
My cycles are long though, around 45 days, so this was our seventh month TTC.
I thought we were out this month because I was away during FW, but I guess the one time four days (maaaybe 3) did the trick. Also, FF took away my crosshairs this month for some reason, so it doesn't believe me that I ovulated. But my temps are high, and rising!
Took the test on Saturday evening, at (I think) 11dpo; period was due the next day but I normally get spotting before -- didn't have any this time!

Thank you all for saying it's a good-looking line; if it's possible I'm feeling more obsessed about POASing now than before getting a BFP. I bought a digital test which I may take tonight; 13dpo, do you think I should wait?

OH took it very well, he's a mix of emotions (me too!) but he was very sweet about the news. He actually looked at the test before me, because I was so convinced it would be negative I was like "here, do you want to have a look?" Lol.

I'm not emotionally ready to be a grad or to leave you ladies; mind if I stick around a bit?

Alexia, I am so sorry to hear what a difficult and unsupportive relationship you have with your mom. That's awful, especially when you need all the support you can get through the trials of TTC.

kwick, I love your toes!

Jamon rant away - out shoulders are broad.

smitten!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Stay as long as you want 😘

Alexia I really feel for you. So insensitive. It is just not fair 😡
I too am lucky that no one close has baby bombed me (recently) although my CIL - who had multiple failed IVFs - has been very insensitive to my 2 MCs but I do not see her often.

Oh yes mouse churros con chocolate is a must!!! Also do you like tuna? Then I would recommend empanada de atun.

Our shoulders not out shoulders!!!

Congratulations smitten! These BFPs are like buses. Who's next?

No pressure on anyone to leave. It's all so bloody nerve wracking. Stick around as long as you need.

Sorry for ongoing DH ranting. He is a lovely guy really he's just not handling this very well. We've got our first counselling appointment tomorrow so will try and work through some of this stuff.

Alexia so sad reading that I'm so sorry you feel so rotten. I have faith for you that you'll get there - and that this long hard journey will make you and your DH rock solid and so resilient and grateful.

Baguette you're right I'll feel like shit if we don't try. Plus we've only got like 2 eggs before the next one gets petri dished so we need to give it a good go really

Quiet he's just shit at talking about his feelings or anything difficult. He just can't do it. He knows he does it. Head firmly in sand

I want a calamari sandwich now

jamon methinks you will need to lie back and think of England (once you have instigated things).

Morning. My crosshairs have moved and my Ov date changed from CD11 to CD12. Not sure I agree though. I'm still not sleeping great so I'm not really paying too much attention to it but my temps are still nice and high which is a plus. I have no idea really how badly my meds or lack of meds before effected my temps. Geeky stuff. Not sure if I should carry on temping now or stop and relax (the dreaded word)

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Alexia that's so tough about your Mum, you poor thing. You definitely need to stay around people who are positive and can support you.

Kathrino thanks so much, this is really interesting. Take it this is the long protocol? I think I'll be doing similar, although have been told I would start on day 21.

Mouse - your Mum sounds great!! Haha. My mum just keeps saying 'enjoy the sex while you can, it will all go downhill after babies'. Awkward.

Jamon and Alexia I know how you feel about friends getting pregnant. The thing that makes me saddest is I thought our kids could grow up together - and now I don't know how far behind we will be!

Congrats smitten - great news!

I'm CD26 today so due on tomorrow- sore boobs and a bit of cramping so think she's on her way. I used to have quite a bit of spotting but realised I had a bit of a bacterial infection (nice!) that the doctors failed to tell me about - since it's cleared up I'm no longer spotting. We're off to an IVF info evening at the hospital tomorrow.

Also to make the wait to start IVF a bit more manageable we've booked a trip to New York and Washington in September. I can't wait. I feel like I've lost myself quite a bit while trying to get pregnant - I just want to have some fun and be carefree again!

Hope you all have great days xxx

jam good luck with your counselling appointment! Completely understand the urge to just give up when you're the one making all the running on stuff, but agree with others that it's prob a bit cutting off your nose to spite your face if you don't instigate in FW! Hopefully today will help you work stuff out together.

mouse that's weird about FF. I've never temped so no idea what crosshairs are! Your symptoms sound hopeful though...only a few days to wait!

Holiday sounds great struggle!

smitten woohoooooo!!! So happy for you

mouse I know the dilemma about temping. On the one hand I think it is useful but it also makes me anxious as hell worrying what the thermometer will say. Anxious my temps won't rise after a positive OPK. Anxious my temps will drop post ovulation. Etc. I'm still going to do it as I only know I had AF last cycle because of a temperature plummet. So little blood I wouldn't have realised otherwise.

My early temps (I'm CD11) are a lot more stable this cycle which I am hoping is a sign that my hormones are becoming more balanced.

struggle hopefully AF doesn't get you At least you have some fun times coming up though! Have you been to New York? It's amazing, you'll have such a good time. Good luck at the appointment.

sk1pper I sort of know what you mean about the race. My sister in law is trying for her third now, she caught so quickly for the first two. I hope it happens because I love her and my brother (and my nephews an so Nieces!) so much but it will be hard to take. Also I married two months ago and I now have two recently married friends who married after me who are trying. I want it to happen for them of course but yeah, can't help but wonder who will be first!

Everyone is asking us if we are trying for a baby which I find a little intrusive.

I am aware what an early stage I'm at so I'm not trying to sound like a dick, apologies if I have. I'm generally feeling calm and positive about the whole thing. It's just crazy how quickly TTC takes hold of your brain in certain respects.

harriet the crosshairs show your coverline and ovulation day when FF detects ovulation! So if your crosshairs move it means FF changes its mind about your ovulation date based on your temps.

I would go with your own opinion mouse not FF's. You know your body and FF doesn't allow for variables like slow rise bbt, or how long after positive OPK or last day of EWCM etc ovulation happens. It's useful for novices like me who can't read charts very well but I think less so once you know what you're doing.

I have everything crossed for you this month

Ah McTufty really, I have no idea what I'm doing. My temps are usually seismic at best but at least this time they kinda look like they're behaving-ish. I'm hyperthyroid too so really no idea what my body is doing. Lemme post a pic...

Ps. Never got a positive OPK which is the same as my BFP cycle. It's also possible I Oved on cd9 as I had a massive dip, but also slept really poorly that night. Poor sleep is shown by the # in the notes. So of course all of it could be rubbish.

If you ignore the high temp on CD8, could be you Od Day 9, given you don't have the early temps FF wouldn't be able to say. That would put the dip on cd 15 in firm implantation dip territory!

I agree with you though, I think cd11. You have all bases covered with DTD though and it's exciting this is mirroring your BFP cycle but as you say early days so I won't tempt fate but just wish you the best.

Last cycle - all over the shop.

This cycle, the early temps more consistent so here is hoping.

Hi ladies 😊. Just dropping in to see how you all are doing.

Congratulations Harriet and smitten! Wonderful news.

I had my scan this morning and I'm 7 weeks along and saw the little heartbeat fluttering away nicely. Also had my first midwife appointment which was over an hour long and had loads of questions. Now to wait for the 12 week scan 😊.

Hope you are all doing ok.

Struggle, yes month I think. What it didn't say on those pages for some reason is that there are a number of things they do at the start of Month 1 to help (a dummy embryo transfer to see if they're likely to run into problems and then a couple of other scans to check for cysts etc). Very jealous of your US holiday, sounds like it will be an amazing trip!

So sorry it's been so tough for you recently Alexia, life just seems so unfair.

Hope the counselling went well today Jam and you both found it useful.

Good work on DTD mouse, looks like you've given yourself the best shot no matter which day you ovulated!

So pleased to hear all is going well Rainbow!

DH came back last night from a week away and we managed a GOS. I hope I haven't ovulated yet (not tracking anything really) so we're at least in with a chance this month. It's CD14 so that will be about right.