Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

I am absorbing all this fascinating info. It's so hard to get actual consultants opinions on things! I've read in a few places that the scratch isn't too bad - but obvs I've never had it so can't speak from experience.

Enjoy your cut and colour today pyjamas xx

I've got almost constant left sided ovary pain today. Had it a lot yesterday too. It's day 19 and I got a positive OPK on day 16 is this some kind of post ovulation cranking? It's academic really but it's annoying as I can't just ignore it

Oh skipper that's so mean of your DH. YANBU. He is. Maybe he's having a shitty day and is taking it out on you? I don't know. But there's no need for that. Buying those books is a lovely idea and you will be reading them to your children

Harriet so pleased for you that everything is going well. How many weeks are you now?

Pyjamas - I'd like that 😘

Jam - sometimes you can ovulate way after a positive opk, it's pretty common. I've had it 3-4 times. Are you covered sex wise?

Really good advice, thanks all. I haven't replied, I'm going to confront him face to face before I blow up for misinterpreting a text or not being sensitive to some feelings he's hidden from me.

Harriet, I really think you're right about immune issues / implementation (although my doc has always looked blank when I've mentioned it...). It totally makes sense that if you have an overactive immune system that is constantly attacking your body, it's going to make it even harder for implantation to happen. I'm so glad that you're doing well though and the regime seems to be helping. Keeping everything crossed for you lovely!

So sorry for the baby bombs Quiet, it never gets easier does it?

Hope you're doing okay pyjamas. A break sounds like a good idea; it must be so tough both emotionally and physically to go through what you've been through and it sounds like you have a plan of action. Sending you and DH lots of love.

Sk1pper, what a ridiculous and insensitive text. I hope you're okay. I totally agree with Flash's response.

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time of it too gee. This is all so unfair.

I'm happy to move wherever the thread goes (not that I'm much of a regular contributor these days. I've only been back at work a couple of days and I've already had to work until 4.30am one night...)

Yes kath I agree. And also (sorry one more thing!) the tests I had done looked at how many natural killer cells (ie the immune response cells) I had, how aggressive they were in general, and then how aggressive they were in "pregnancy conditions".

It turns out that I have normal numbers of them, but they are more aggressive than normal and then extra aggressive in pregnancy. So for me their response seems to be actively triggered by pregnancy, after a bfp, whereas someone else could have say very high numbers of cells, or very aggressive cells that start working before pregnancy happens (ie before implantation), so you never get that bfp. I think the whole mechanism is very poorly understood tbh, but it does make sense to me that your body could be confused by a foreign thing trying to take over and produce the wrong response.

Sorry to derail the thread a bit.

jam I'm 9 weeks and scared every day but getting through it. Thinking of you all a lot and missing this lovely thread - it's such a good support.

What's your clinic called Harriet? I just looked at the price list for my clinic and they do test NK cells, but treatment is not on their list!

Thanks kath - today is a struggle but getting there. I've totally nailed jingle bells on the piano (one of today's few goals), about to head out for doing hair and one of my best friends is coming over later for wine 🍷

It's called the Centre for Reproductive Immunology and Pregnancy (CRP Clinic) and my consultant is Mr Shehata.

He has a particular focus on recurrent miscarriage, but also offers IUI, IVF and ICSI.

I couldn't rate it highly enough.

Thanks Harriet!

I've still been lurking on this thread now and again. Sorry to see so many of you having tough times. I still feel very grateful to you all for the advice and support to myself before I got my positive.

Pyjamas so sorry to hear your news. I hope you take care and look after yourself. You will be closer than you think or feel to getting your positive.

Skipper really hope I haven't ovulated late 😫 we HS Monday , DH refused Tuesday then went away and not back til Saturday.

So if I ovulated yesterday that would be two days after shagging.

That would be mentally late for me though and usually I am clockwork. Such strong niggly pain though - I can feel it now. It's like a stitch. Oh sod it.

Good luck for your 12 week scan harriet it's nice to still have you around

Sorry about the baby bombs quiet - I know exactly what you mean by mentally adjusting. I've had a few recently too.

Thanks for your lovely words, the support from this place is amazing - you're all wonderful!

Glad you're doing well Harriet, sounds like you chose a brilliant clinic and you're right, fertility is chronically misunderstood. It's crazy really given what a huge business it now is.

Sk1p I think your DH's text was very out of order and I hope you get a heartfelt apology tonight. For what it's worth the book idea is really lovely and I would have done the same. How can a bit of hope and positive thinking do any harm at all? Flash's response was bang on the money.

Jam don't worry too much about the pains, our bodies do so much crazy shit all the time and you know how random any single month can be. Even if you did ovulate yesterday, having sex 2 days before is perfectly fine; in fact isn't it one of the ideal days, that and Ov-1? The sperm would have been ready and raring to go.

Sorry about your SIL's news yesterday Quiet. I know exactly what you mean about always thinking it would never happen for you. I've gone through life never feeling broody, never feeling the pressure of my ticking biological clock, and never being able to imagine being pregnant or having a baby. Weird, but hopefully not a bad sign.

Pyjamas glad you are switching to a better consultant and have a new approach with the scratch. I read Izzy Judd's book recently (in two minds about it, but that's another topic) and she had it done on her successful cycle I think? I didn't realise the procedure itself was unpleasant though; hope it's not too awful for you. I hope you have plans to spoil yourself this weekend?

It makes no difference where this thread is to me Jam, but Infertility probably suits it a bit better now. We might get a few more newbies as well.

First appt at the IVF clinic went fine for me today. Just had an internal scan to double check what's going on with my ovaries and they confirmed no change - still loads of follicles (so most likely short protocol) but she did say the lining looked perfect which was good to hear.

Sorry for long post - hope you're all having a nice evening. I am making the most of DP working late and binge watching Don't Tell the Bride

Glad you're doing well Harriet xx

Jam - I didn't mean to worry you but still, you'd be in no way out so don't freak out. Any reason you could be late?

Penguin - ah didn't realise you had your first appointment. You sound pretty relaxed - that's really good. Keep us updated with your progress.

I've been up all night (again) worrying about a letter I received saying I'd left pensionable service and the details of what I'd get when I'd retire. All the details on the letter were wrong, I haven't left pensionable service and my DOB, money paid in, date joined were all incorrect. Their opening hours are shite so can't call till I'm at work....

Well I did the second test this morning and BFN is confirmed. I was expecting it, but seeing that stark white space where a line should be is always shit. So, that's that. I can stop the meds now and I'll phone the clinic today to make the follow up appointment with the different consultant. AF will apparently start in a couple of days - it's the gift that keeps on giving. On top of all that Hurricane Irma is looking more likely to hit the east coast of Florida where my mum and brother live 😰

Thanks rainbow I really hope you're right xx

Hoping for the best for you jam - I definitely don't think you're out of the game.

Yeah penguin - it's apparently not a pleasant procedure but the pain only lasts for a few seconds then it seems people are totally fine after. Definitely worth a shot. Getting my nails done tomorrow and just going to spend the weekend getting my head straight before going back to work on Monday. I've got my second piano lesson on Sunday which I'm looking forward to.

What a worry skip - hopefully just an admin error they can sort quickly!

sk1per I think I had 6 chocolate HobNobs and 6 Rich Tea

PJs I think everything you are saying makes sense especially having another consultant take a fresh look. I am constantly amazed about how different the protocols can be from 1 consultant/FC to another. So for example all my IUIs and IVFs have been with a full bladder, Serum in Athens, put speculum in ONLY to get catheter in then remove and scan using a wand for the transfer/insemination...
Sadly none of this is foolproof even if you have the best of the best.

sk1pper you are not being unreasonable- what a bargain!!!
What flash said.

quiet so sorry about the baby bombs

katharino don't work so hard!!!

harriet very interesting. Do you remember what the tests name were that you did to identify your aggressive inmunity?

inspector great news about your scan!

FFS sk1pper hope you can sort the pension issue

I have not slept well all week - renovations and work stress. I am knackered. I have lead nurse appt and Dummy Embryo Transfer this after (am taking a half day holiday). I am so tired I may need to resort to having a full fat coke - God knows how many syns that is!!!
I really hope the bathroom delivery works out today. If flat is as forlorn this pm as it was last night will go to my mums!

PJs fcuking hate that you got a BFN
I know what you mean anout Hurricane Irma - had to check on my Puerto Rican family yesterday- fortunately all well.
For the scratch maybe you can take some painkillers in advance?

Yeah - it's totally and utterly shit kwick, no other way to describe it.

So glad your family is ok. My brother has decided to stay put which means my mum won't leave. Pisses me off so much - this hurricane is a beast and they shouldn't take the gamble.

Yes, will definitely ask if I can load up on painkillers beforehand!

Good news on your scan penguin . I'm like you in that my right ovary is polycystic but I don't have PCOS. They are putting me on long protocol though which I don't understand, as I thought short was advised where's there's risk of OHSS.

Is it worth asking for another consultant appointment to discuss treatment protocol? Is it something they could change when I call the nurses to start down regulating?

So much unknown.

Skipper you didn't freak me out don't worry 😘 all the ovulation pain is what's worried me. I did have a very pronounced sharp left sided pain on Tuesday standing on the train platform - so perhaps a big egg released or a cyst went and that's why I've had pain since? If so we HS Monday so good timing 🤞🏼 god knows why I care so much still, trying naturally feels academic

I'm so sorry pyjamas , seeing a bfn is always always shit. Having some time and space to heal now will do you the world of good and I know you will come back even stronger and take another cycle like a boss. You will get there.

Kwick get to your mums and get your feet up

Hoping all families affected by the hurricane are safe 🙏🏼

Ah and it's Friday so..
it's lovely having BIL staying with us at the mo and nice to have some company whilst DH is away
I got my award entry written and submitted - been hanging over me!
got a wedding tomorrow of an old friend and some lovely friends coming over for lunch Sunday. One is bringing her 6 month old baby boy - they conceived against odds following a miscarriage so she knows how hard it can be.

Happy Friday all

So sorry pyjamas xxxx 😢

Unfortunately my friend is in St. Maarten on holiday and has been badly effected by the hurricane so the past few days have been filled with worry. She called yesterday and is ok but the house she was staying in has been destroyed. She made it out with her passport and money. 😢

I hope your families and friends stay safe, we have friends in Florida preparing too.

CD3 for me and whilst the first 2 days have been noticeably heavier than normal (with clots too) I think today it will taper off as I've lost hardly anything since last night.

I'm also in a bit of a dilemma. I'm due to be away in Madrid when I ovulate. Do I sod off the clearblue OPK this cycle and just GOS for England and take my bbt with me or not bother? I wouldn't be able to pin point ovulation without either as I don't get any solid ovulation signs. I'm also wildly aware I have zero chance of a BFP with my stupid cycles being annoying but I'm keeping the hope. Also, acupuncture.... I'm thinking of trying it to lengthen my LP.

Friday positives....
⭐️ I'm at a craft show tomorrow with my sister. I plan on spending moolah, will probably come home with a button.
⭐️ Today will be interesting in work since there was a party last night (I didn't go) and most will be hungover or not in.
⭐️ I'm treating myself to pizza tonight 🍕

Thanks jam - like a boss is exactly right, I will not be beaten!

Thanks for the Friday positivity reminder - much needed so here are mine:

⭐️ my husband being so amazing and supportive. We're stronger now than we ever have been.

⭐️ still having a smile on my face after wine and laughter with one of my best friends last night. She's a good egg.

⭐️ I've mastered Jingle Bells on the piano over the last couple of days. It now sounds like Jingle Bells - a big win! My aim is to be able to play Fur Elise one day - a long way to go, but I'll get there!

I think the rule is three, but just a couple more:

⭐️I've joined a local book club ☺️ I've realised I'm pretty isolated and need to meet new people and make friends. I have a three stellar friends from school but I lost all of my uni friends after a big break up years ago and I think it's time for me to get out there in the world and bring some good new people into my life ☺️

⭐️ I've signed up to a weekend retreat which focuses on how to make the most out of life and figure out what I'm passionate about. I'm stuck in my job, but I think if I have other areas in my life which I love, I won't focus on that so much.

Sorry not had a chance to fully catch up but interestingly on the scratch thing, with my paperwork for our first ivf appointment was an invitation to take part in a scratch test study.
I'd already decided I would sign up for it although no guarantee you'd get it as you could end up in the placebo group.

And jam I'd be very happy to move over to the infertility board.

Happy friday everyone !!!! to all you lovely strong ladies.

so i had a bfp last night ...... in my dreams...... clearly i'm failing to not think about it .

tbh though i am much more zen about it at present. life is good. my mental health is pretty good, and after hurting my hip back in june/july, i am back running again (though only up to 4km, but getting back).

To those considering the scratch, I didn't find it that bad. I was given a prescription to take before - a painkiller pessary - which sadly didn't stay put long enough but it didn't really hurt that much - like a bad smear, and over in a few seconds. You're also given an antibiotic. So very bearable considering all the other things we've been through.

Happy Friday everyone!
pyjamas So good to hear that you and DH are stronger than ever after everything you've been through and that you had a good time with your best mate, can imagine a lot of people would just hide away after the week you've had but your attitude is amazing and it's definitely the right one to have.
I've also heard good things about the scratch and totally believe in the immune testing from what I've heard from consultants and also from friends who have had killer cells. Seems like it's a v grey area but that's just fertility in general isn't it unfortunately, so much is unknown and scarily, it seems sometimes that's because it suits the NHS not to investigate further which isn't great for all of us, especially if you can't afford to go private.
Hope things are ok with you and DH skip. His reply seems pretty shitty but agree that perhaps it's because of his own feelings towards it? My DH has come out with a few clangers at times!
I'm struggling along at the moment, lots of new babies to visit over next few weeks and baby bombs left right and centre but just trying to get through it one way or another. I've just launched my autumn/winter stock for my online shop and had a brilliant reaction and been really busy with that this week so trying to focus my energy into that and enjoy a bit of success in another area of life. Not sure if I'm allowed to post it on here? Just in case anyone fancied a browse :)