Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Meant to say swearing but sweating also appropriate.

Haha jamon not my issue at all though 🤣

FFS skipper what a twat = twitter man
Is it not a bit early for birds to be sleeping?
Feel better

Omg Skipper what an absolute prick!!!!

Hope AF also stops being a prick.

Kwick - yeah I guess it was too early for bird snoozes but they were being so loud and annoying. I can handle the food stealing but the noise that comes out of their mouths disturbs my soul.

Ugh so sad abbout the funding flash :(

skipper I really hope there will be more meets in future. It would be lovely if you want to come along xx

The thread is starting to fill up. I was thinking about moving us to Infertility boards for the next one. What do you guys think? Happy to stay here if people would prefer.

I'm so sorry for those that af has got this week!! You are all amazingly strong women!!

Would i be a fraud if you moved to infertility as although I am on a year of trying now its only technically been 10 cycles of actually trying as i had to stop for my thyroid? I wouldn't stop you guys from moving the thread though.

Loving the inspirational quotes!!

jamon I will follow you, wherever you may go
Whatever you think best

I've name changed, still flash!

Skip really sorry about the stupid red witch bitch. Why does it always mess us around.

I don't know if AF is really here or not. I'm sort of bleeding more than spotting but my boobs still hurt. Mouse I've tried b complex and agnus castus and prescription progesterone. Some of them lengthened it for a bit but didn't sustain it. I still had at least 5 days of spotting with all.of them.

Jam i personally feel moving to infertility is the way to go, but no one who's on the thread and feels that doesn't apply to then should stop posting here! Basset we don't want to lose you! Just think we might get more people looking for support going through the same kind of things.

Also sorry about af mouse. I keep trying to think of positives, gives me longer to learn to drive, means I can drink on my birthday, etc but none of it really helps anymore.

Hope you're okay Pyjamas - what do you have planned for today?

Why oh why did I eat all those biscuits last night? So much sugar just interrupts my sleep and makes me feel like I have a hangover 🤢

Hee hee, how many biscuits are you talking about Kwick?

I had a bad night too because of cramps, Fitbit said I only got 4 hours sleep 😔, drugged up and ready for work. Recon CD1 is today.

Just reading through all your lovely words - thanks so much everyone 💓

I'm doing ok skip - well, shit, but ok. Just feel pretty flat and for the first time last night the real thought hit me that this may never happen for us. Had to remind myself that thoughts are thoughts, not reality. DH is pretty down as well. The first few days are always hard. Tell you what, doing the injection and pessary last night was pretty hideous - I cried afterwards at the unfairness of it all. I'm getting my hair dyed and cut today - so at least that will take care of the greys. Had skipped dying it to be on the safe side during the cycle. The piano I bought has been a lifesaver as well so going to practice some more today. Tomorrow will confirm the BFN with the final test, then I can stop the meds and move on. I'll make an appointment with another consultant with the clinic to figure out next steps. I want more tests done (whatever they may be) and I want my protocol revised. The higher dose was clearly not right for me this time. How are you doing?

Great to see you again penguin - sorry to see that you haven't had your BFP but good to see you're in a strong place. Wishing you all the luck in the world with your upcoming IVF, I'm here if you have any questions xx

You're right chlo - it will happen somehow, I may not be a mum in the way I always envisioned, but I will have a family somehow.

Thanks for the virtual hug jam - I need them right now! So looking forward to meeting some of you lovely lot soon, thanks so much for organising. And I will also follow this board wherever it goes!

I know what you mean about just wanting to crack on geeup - part of me feels the same way. But a bigger part wants to take the time to heal physically and mentally and allow time for any extra tests or procedures. I'm thinking about doing the scratch (🤢) this time around. I've put on a bit of weight over these IVF cycles, so want to get that down as well. Hurrah for the orgasm! I can't remember the last time that happened!

I know exactly what you mean about weird small signs that AF is coming lemony - I always always weirdly get flaky patches (like eczema) under my eyes about a week before AF. I got it before my last IVF BFN and my heart sank - consultant brushed it off as nothing, but now I'm convinced it's due to a progesterone drop as I didn't get it this cycle and I'm putting down to the extra progesterone I'm on.

I'd definitely recommend the scratch pyjamas. Most NHS clinics won't give it to you until you've had two failures but after that there's evidence to show it does increase implantation. My consultant went through a LOT of global research with us in our most recent appointment and the only actual evidence based recommendation he will make is the scratch (after two failures) and possibly aspirin (presume this would be from ovulation for those ttc naturally but for me it'll be from the start of the oestrogen tablets). He is slightly on the fence though and wouldn't "recommend" it and said there's no evidence for heparin or the immunes protocols people do. Other than that he said it's just numbers and keep going.

Same here geeup - the only thing my consultant (grudgingly) recommends is the scratch (she's in the camp of barely wanting to try anything new which is why I'm switching). She said it's the only one with solid evidence behind it. The only downside (other than the grim procedure) is that we wouldn't be able to TTC naturally that cycle as the scratch would harm a potential early pregnancy. I've accepted that a natural BFP is v unlikely, so I'm going to go for it. I asked her about aspirin and she only recommends it after BFP, but I'm going to ask the new consultant as well. She also said that immune treatment is not based on evidence.

Pyjamas - it will happen for you, I feel like you're close to the end now - I don't know why I have this gut feeling about you but I have for a while. Like you said, it's still a numbers game and although it's a tough, you just got to keep rolling them dice until it works. It says nothing about you or your DH, it's just luck. Definitely keep yourself occupied, maybe plan a weekend away for yourselves - eat and drink what you like without worrying. Find yourselves again. This isn't over, I know you'll come back fighting when the time is right xx

So there's a book sale at work with a 3rd party supplier who comes in from time to time. They always have a great selection of children's books and I noticed today they have the full collection of Beatrix Potter books. They are like the original ones I had as a child, hard-back, pocket-sized and beautifully illustrated. It's £50, seems like a lot but for the whole set it really is a complete bargain. So I text DH and said I was going to buy it so that we could read them to our children and he just sent me the shittiest text back which had me crying in the toilets. It was basically, stop buying books for children we don't have - it's taking up unnecessary space in the house etc etc etc.

I am so angry. First of all, i don't buy children's books all the time - I bought the full collection of wizard of Oz earlier this year because again it was like £10 and that's it. Secondly, it's taking up zero space in the house because I've been taking them straight up into our spacious attic to store for later. Thirdly, not great to reiterate the children we don't have on CD fucking 1.

Am I being unreasonable???

No you are not being unreasonable! I love children's books, often for the nostalgia of them, as much as for the hope I can one day share them with our children. If it gives you hope, then do it. I could understand his reservations if doing those things then made you upset having them around, but if that's not the case then buy them.

If I were you I would just text him back and say 'I'm hopeful we will have children. Buying things like this helps me stay hopeful. If you don't feel the same that's fine, but please don't use those feelings against me.'

Hugs for you.

Aww skipper I'm so sorry - how horrible for you. I think flash's suggested response is perfect.

pyjamas and geeup re immunes/no evidence - I have been having immune treatment for my recurrent miscarriages. I've been told repeatedly that there is no evidence etc etc, but after 3 early mcs (which the NHS told me were a coincidence) I've got further than ever before and all is well. There is no doubt in my mind that it is down to the treatment (steroids, progesterone and intralipids), and my clinic has had so much success on this protocol - 80% success rate. I know it's slightly different where conception itself is the issue but I know other ivf clinics (including kath's I think?) do offer it so may be worth considering at a later stage. Really hope you won't need to though.

Oh skip what a horrible text to get esp on CD1 😞 No wonder you're in tears, I would be livid. I would definitely go with flash's response despite the urge to tear him a new one. Maybe he's taking out his own worries on you and sees the books as a painful reminder of how difficult everything is. Just playing devil's advocate.

I've got a feeling about you too - hopefully the day we can talk about our bumps together is coming soon!

So glad all is well Harriet and it's great that the treatment seems to be working for you! I'm going to be asking my new consultant about it as my clinic does actually offer it (weird if they don't recommend it), but I suspect it's different as my issue is getting pregnant in the first place but you never know.

skip poor you! I totally understand the urge - have to consciously restrain myself as I know DH would find it weird. Do you think the response was a bit of lashing out because it's CD1? Hope you're doing OK

pjs am so so sorry about this cycle, but find you an inspiration in how you're handling it. Impressed you've thought of proactive next steps and prepared for other things to distract you - hope they bring a little peace of mind CXC

lemon could it be rising progesterone (going for glass half full...) - only because think that's why I get sore boobs most cycles. Though unfortunately not this one - didn't get positive opk on usual day either, so unless ovulated early, think didnt O this time around.

Feel shitter than normal as SIL told me she's pregnant and friend had baby yesterday. All lovely news of course, just readjusting (both talked a bit disparagingly about the rush to have kids post-30). Think just have a little voice in my head always thinking it won't happen for me (esp. as had odd feeling that wouldn't have kids from when I was really young).

Hope others are doing better today and looking forward to weekend xxx

Sorry @harrietm87 hope I didn't sound insensitive. Absolutely sounds like immunes work for recurrent miscarriage and I'm thrilled for you they do. And don't get me wrong - I would try literally anything to get pregnant now if my clinic would let me (even unproven!). I just meant that the clinic said they don't have evidence that they can help get me pregnant so they won't let me do them with them. Congrats again on your pregnancy!

Oh no geeup absolutely no need to apologise at all!

I only mentioned it because the lack of evidence thing is often just because they don't like testing things on pregnant/ttc women (for obvious reasons). Also because "evidence" means large scale randomised studies where a proportion of the people are given placebos etc - and who wants to get a placebo when the treatment might work for you. And also because people end up going private and private clinics don't care about evidence the way the NHS does etc etc (pros and cons to that obviously too!). Actually I think it's a scandal because it means that only people who can afford this expensive treatment can access it. Anyway though, if you ever change clinics it could be worth a try. My problem is that my body starts to attack the embryo from shortly after implantation, but wouldn't be surprised if for others the same issue can hinder implantation itself.