Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Oh sk1pper, your dream made me lol so much. I reckon between us we could write a crazy book about TTC and all the weird shit that we experience!

Skip- that dream sounds amazing! Made me broody for a baby panda 🐼 now! Which I can accept will never ever happen. 😁

Sorry struggle hope it's not AF for you.

Ladies can I ask do any of you have an electronic handbreak? Looked at a car today that had one.

Ha ha, I don't mince my words skip - seriously though, a baby panda would be phenomenal!

Your GP sounds lovely lemony! Yeah, am due another night of contortions tonight. Wait, that sounds quite raunchy - contortions involving stabbing myself with a needle. And sex is boring and pointless now anyway. I'm joking of course. Kind of.

Didn't know you had a Spanish side kwick! I'm half Colombian, which means I have a strong connection to Spain given Colombia's history!

Got my fingers crossed for you mouse

Shit and balls struggle - spotting is the worst

Yep - that nurse is a right knob jam, even DH said she was a twat. Although she has shown me the lengths my stubbornness will go to to prove someone wrong - stabbing myself!

Long term TTC has taken all enjoyment out of it for us quiet - sad times when the silver lining of going through IVF treatment is not having to have sex! Weirdly, we get on much better as nothing between us feels forced.

5dpo2dt over here and the first whispers of The Fear have made an appearance. One minute I'm all "of course this can happen, wee beastie is probably implanting right now!" to "this is never going to fucking happen, fuck my life and everything in it." Feeling really down about my job as well - it's very well paid and secure, but I just don't CARE. Nothing I do matters. Not really - I make a big corporation look good, that's it. I could change job, but I think it's my chosen career I'm bored with which makes that more difficult. I'm so demotivated I can't even motivate myself to find another job. And I need the money - can't pay for IVF with happy thoughts!

Anyway, that's enough moaning - on a better note, I've booked a few things to keep me from going mental on Monday and Tuesday next week before test day - introductory piano lesson on Monday (used to love it as a child) and going to see the Emoji movie (yes, I'm a child), seeing An Inconvenient Sequel (need to balance the Emoji movie) and an Indian head massage and Reiki session the day before test day. Have never done Reiki before - probably a load of bollocks, but there were limited things on the list I was comfortable doing in the TWW!

Glad you girls got some enjoyment out of that complete mind fuck, I literally woke up wide-eyed and questioning my mental state.

Kwick -you may think you are volatile but you've been through so much and to maintain such a cool and cheerful demeanour on here through all that is inspiring. I love how you've rejoined us after a long break and it's like you never left.

Mouse - do you normally cramp that soon before your spotting? I hope it's not as you fear.

Struggle - I hope it's not AF for you too. That witch can stay away - we are well overdue a BFP on this thread right now. C'mon karma, swing our way for a change!

Quiet - you're not a prude, it's ridiculous to ask that of all couples. Some people have a high sex drive and it's completely achievable but for the regular working folk, it can be hard to fit it in and/or you just want a relaxing night from time to time. I'd say every other day is fine and if you use opks, always on the positive opk regardless.

Jam - you are so right, I hate those gender stereotypes so not sure why I said it was only good for a boy. Blue is a beautiful and calming colour, perfect for any little person.

Pyjamas - I think you've done the right thing packing in lots of things to keep you physically and mentally preoccupied. The thoughts you're having are normal, just acknowledge them and let them go. It's impossible to ignore negative thoughts but sometimes if you recognise them, it's easier to forget them. Otherwise they just get shoved to the back of your mind and niggle at you. Your wee beastie is an absolute beauty, I am willing it on with all my spiritual power.

Oh skip not at all you were just giving me some much appreciated PMA 😍😍 the same thought occurred to me too re a boy. I've always said I wanted a boy first but DH says girl and he's got me swayed I think. Although quite obviously I couldn't really give a shit anymore about that!!

Pyjamas you're my TWW hero. Fabulous distractions, you could write a book on how to survive the TWW. That mind flipping sounds so normal - our poor brains have to find a way to process all this and make sense of it and protect us from ourselves. Hang in there. My psychic powers are joining skips for your emby.
*
Quiet* well she's clearly never experienced long term ttc. Christ every day for that long is just not needed! If you can face it though who am I to question recommended tactics?!

We've decided on Wednesday Friday Sunday and Monday, with egg due Monday. Ooooooooh we're just so sexy 😂

Love your panda dream skip...maybe you had heard the news that the panda at Edinburgh zoo is supposedly pregnant? Apparently they only ovulate once a year and it took 5 years for her to great pregnant. When I saw that I felt quite annoyed it had happened so quickly for her 😂.

quiet we spent ages trying not to schedule it and now we have a quick chat at the beginning of fertile week...romantically sit down with our diaries and schedule some nookie. Luckily my husband has got into a routine with knowing when it is. I hate it when people say 'just enjoy having lots of sex'...yeah try doing it for two years!! NHS official advice is every other day, I'd go with that.

pyjamas I am so with you with the work thing - ttc/ivf makes you feel totally trapped as you don't want to be going through that in a job where people don't really know you. I'm in the same place at the moment, I feel really demotivated which gets me down and then I can't motivate myself - it's a vicious cycle. Your plans for the 2WW sound great.

Foul mood today and starting to get cramps so I think it's on its way...I've cheered myself up with a yoga class and now watching bake off!

Loving the panda 🐼 dream hahahahaha. Must say I sadly dream about pregnancy and motherhood quite a lot. Have done since my godson was born... and he's just turned 14. Think that puts me in the weird category. 😳

Quiet yes we did it A LOT. well much more than we usually do and more than we ever did before TTC. I don't have a high sex drive at all and we are so busy that I really have to focus and be determined. Thankfully DH is game if I even just kiss him. Bingo!! I've attached my chart for shits and giggles. I'm quite impressed HAHAHA.

So I just had a massive chat with my mum and she pretty much described your issues Sk1pper. She said she finally conceived when she reached her "golden weight" and gained a stone. 10 stone 5 is what she said. Of course I looked at her like she had two heads as I'm sure one of my legs weighs that but I know she was making sense.

She goes on holiday on Tuesday, in the two weeks she had originally booked around my due date. I feel guilty. But there's no point dwelling on things.

As for the cramping, I'm feeling delicate, like my lower tummy is sensitive. It's felt like AF cramps all today and last night. I think I'm bloated. Maybe it's the extra vit c I've been taking. I'm only 3/4 DPO so not sure how long my cycle might be this time.

I'm still eating pineapple 🍍😎

Interesting your mum said that Mouse, every time they weigh me at the hospital I'm 9 stone. It's awful, it's far too low for IVF though they didn't mention it at all yesterday. Perhaps because it's consistently low. It would be boring if we all had the same issues though I suppose. Your chart is looking good, a pre ovulation dip too. Perhaps you've just got an icky tummy?

Skipper that paint is Crown L7500S !

Ah it's such a relief having you guys here, thank you! PJs cannot wait to stop thinking about HS like this - can imagine it makes such a difference

jam, skip, struggle thanks for the advice - think will take GP directions with a pinch of salt...though I will take on board the glass of wine she recommended

mouse - nice chart, that is impressive work! So hope AF stays away xx

pyjamas and struggle loving the PMA activities; willing your little beastie on, pjs

Haven't caught up properly yet but hope it's not AF mouse and struggle

Love the room jam . We have the same issue of a room that will be the babies room but in the meantime is 'nothing' and really needs something doing with it.

Cd1 cycle 20 for me.... can't believe it really. However emotionally I'm just a bit numb to it now and expect it therefore there's been no tears or mood swings. Just willing for 31st October to arrive so I can find out how far away ivf is.

Oh winging I'm sorry about AF take care of yourself xxx

Following from holiday so only lurking. Keeping everything crossed for you pyjamas and sending thoughts to everyone else.
It's day 8 here so start of EOD shagging but my parents arrived last night so we're back in the spare room with single beds which are more like water beds. I actually said to DH well done when he managed to get he job done as such, no mean feat in the boiling heat with in laws a corridor away! What a passion killer! Ha ha

So sorry for af winging.

Fx mouse & other ladies who af is due. Fx we get a bfp soon.

Sounds like a good use of time pjs. Impressive with the needle acrobatics.

Sk1p i had to stifle a full on giggle at work reading that dream this morning. Definitely a good mood inducing dream i think haha.

Well I think mother nature is being a right witch this month. I've never had this amount of ewcm ever and of course I am not allowed to even make the most of it 😫.

Sorry about AF winging.

I am spending too much time trying to work out who the celebrity mum of someone in an AIBU thread is. The OP is married to an international sportsman. For some reason it's driving me mad!

So much to catch up on!

Sorry to hear about AF winging - I can sympathize with the numb feeling too.

Excellent dream Skip perhaps you subconsciously knew that Pandas can also have trouble getting pregnant? The allegedly pregnant Panda is all over the news here in Scotland. Also giving me a bit of the rage.

Still got my fx for you PJs think the distraction techniques are a really good idea and will hopefully make the time pass more quickly too. You know when you're really into something and then forget about TTC for more than an hour or so? I love that feeling.

Loving all your home improvements too, Kwick and Jam we are so lazy in that department! Also got a box room that is currently just used for storing junk - and will probably remain that way until there is something more exciting to put in it!

So AF finally showed up - 9 days late on CD38. I'm doing OK because its nice to finally be out of limbo but how much of a head fuck is that?! My last 6 cycles have all been 28 days so it's just really weird. Looking forward now to FC appointment which is a week on Monday.

Sorry for anyone I've missed! Been "socializing" this week to deal with AF shite so fallen really far behind!

Sorry winging I find I'm more accepting now of AF. Being in the 20s cycle wise has felt like a bit of a milestone though. I'm reminding myself that 85% conceive within a year and of those who don't, half will conceive in the second year. We are still in with that chance.

That's bizarrely late flora. Did you feel like you could be pregnant? I'm not sure if af comes late if it's a chemical. Sorry it came but I can understand you being glad to be out of limbo

It was one of those things Jam whereby I was madly symptom spotting and for every yes symptom I had, I also had a load of no symptoms. And because I'd been on hols I hadn't been tracking so I might just have ovulated really late? As weird as this sounds and I really don't want to offend anyone but a chemical would actually be really encouraging in light of DH morphology issue but who knows.

I know exactly what you mean. DH had low morphology on initial tests too. Has yours been retested?

He has been retested and we'll get the results at the appointment next Monday. Bit of a double edged sword as if there is an issue we can commence IVF after 1 year, if they are now OK then it goes to 2 years.

So hard to know what to wish for in that scenario. DH morphology came up to normal on his most recent test, so they class us as unexplained and are putting us forward for IVF rather than ICSI. When we got the 4% result back we both felt elated - but obviously it hasn't resulted in a pregnancy.

For us, the waiting time didn't differ - they added us to the list back in March and it's just taken this long to get to the top of it. I presume it must be a funding thing?

Fx for you, for the dream scenario of normal result and conception.

I think the rule here seems to be that to qualify for funding you need to either be:
a) explained infertility and trying for 1 year
b) unexplained infertility and trying for 2 years
... but we are entitled to 3 cycles which I believe is good.

Still not even sure on whether we will apply for funding or perhaps pay for a cycle ourselves - will maybe determine that based on the morphology result and whether the consultant feels we've got any chance of natural conception. It is yet another head fuck in this whole process

You may as well get the ball rolling for funded treatment - you may be able to pay for a cycle in the meantime without it affecting your allowance. Worth looking into. Three funded cycles is amazing. We get one fresh cycle and one frozen transfer

Cheers for the paint colour Jam!

Sorry for AF Winging

Welcome back Chlo, hope you had a lovely holiday. HS when the in-laws are over is always super awkward, it's got to be done though! Well done! 👊

Fox - you cannot let a pregnant panda give you rage! Ha ha 😂 though if you've just started AF I think it can be excused. The amount of hormones and emotions going through you right now would do that. Hope you're okay.

I've been spotting today, it's waaaay too early to be spotting. I am not happy about that one bit.