Thread 31, TTC1 | Jam and her dodgers still riding the bonking bus for that elusive BFP

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

You did really well to be honest with her about how you felt. You can only get what you need if you tell the truth, and it sounds like a few more months of clomid is what you need for now. for you. How does your DH feel about IVF at the moment? Is it something you've discussed?

I think mostly, none of us wants to think too far ahead, as we don't want to seem like we're admitting defeat, noone wants to feel like it won't happen naturally, or that assuming the worst might mean it doesn't happen. It's such a minefield of needing to be positive and not being too positive and argh! So when the time comes for the next step, it seems sudden, because we've not allowed ourselves to think beyond where we are right now. A bit like never thinking beyond getting pregnant anymore, I don't think about pregnancy, or birth or parenthood, I only think 'Get Pregnant'.

Thanks Pyjamas ❤️

Flash - think you've hit the nail on the head there, I have done no reading up/research on IVF. Apart from reading Pyjamas' updates, I have been very unwilling to absorb anything. It's like instead of the end goal being pregnancy, I have to switch my end goal to being IVF. And I know that achieves pregnancy but I just see them as two very separate things. I'm explaining this badly I think, but I think you're right - it's almost if I go into this I'm saying to the word that I'm infertile and I still want to hope I'm capable of natural conception.

Hope everyone has had an okay day back at work. Only an hour left for the 9-5ers. I go back tomorrow, so lame.

Sk1p- well done for pin pointing what made you so worried. It's good you have got some space to think and take a step back before hand. IVF is a huge step and you should only take it if and when you are comfortable.

Jam - room looks lovely I live the light fitting.

Have spend day with my mum and dad which has been lovely we went out for the day.

Have ultrasound on kidneys, bladder and pelvis on Monday and read the letter I have to drink 2l of water an hour before hand. That's a lot right? Then I cannot pee until after appointment.

Ugh Babi - it is a lot, especially if you have a weak bladder like I do. I really struggle drinking the amount they suggest when after a litre I'm already busting. I have no tips for you, other than cross your legs and pray the appointment isn't delayed. 😂

Sounds really sensible skip - take some time to find out more, read a bit about it and think about how you feel.

Flash I veer between being really positive and then deathly negative / realistic...it is so hard to get the balance right. I've probably got 3 natural cycles before IVF and although I know my chances are so slim I still can't help but get my hopes up! This is why the rollercoaster is so hard!

Very nice Jamon - nice cat too!

flash did you watch that series on BBC with interior designers competing? One of the contestants was at my SW group last night!!!!

struggle I got so much vitamin D this weekend I managed to burn myself

Ah PJs I know those injections well!!! Always did on my own - you will be grand.

skipper I hear you. I was ok with all 5 treatments plus a hysteroscopy and then I had a massive wobble at the first egg collection. But I got through it. Apart from the times I had to be sedated I have gone to every treatment alone. I know it is different for you as you actually have a DH but being alone during them is not so bad... I mean I look really ungainly when lying back with my legs in stirrups... sorry I do not mean to trivialise your fears I just know that you are strong enough to do what you need to do - whatever that may be.
What the others said.
So glad they let you stay on Clomid for a while longer.

Before I realised that the only way I was going to be able to have a baby was through IUI & IVF I was actually contra - thinking nature was best. But do you know what? It can only happen for me this way now and nature has been totally screwed over by us humans so here's to fertility treatments and allowing me (and you) get our dreams and fulfil our destiny!!! Cheers!

babi That is loads!!
I know that it takes about 15 mins from when I drink to when I need to do wee-wee (especially if I drink a lot and am not dehydrated) so I time these types of appts like that.

So ladies despite not being at a 35 BMI I have made my follow-up appts for the IVI consultant and nurse. They are next week!!! Need to lose 5.5 lbs in a week!!! May the madness commence!!!!

Flash sounds like you've given it a really good shot. Fx

Skipper it's a dulux I think will dig out the pot

Struggle the light is from IKEA! America trip sounds very exciting

Progesterone injections in the bum pyjamas??? I thought it was pessaries! Hope you can keep distracted with DH away. Really sensible to take some time off next week

Skipper it's so scary, your feelings are totally valid. I've wondered a few times if I can do it, it's a massive thing to put yourself through physically and mentally. If DH can't go to all appointments could a close friend or family member step in? Agree with others that there's no rush. You could talk to them about more clomid or an IUI first.

It's all such a minefield , I feel so grateful for this place too

Yep - top bit of the bum jam - I've got the injections AND the pessaries as I started spotting early last time! FML.

Managed to just about do it last night kwick - I found a way which was much easier than standing in front of a mirror! Feeling particularly smug as the nurse I don't like said it would hurt a lot and I would never be able to do it myself while DH is away. Well it didn't and I did. In. Your. Face.

skipper really glad you got to ask for what felt right, and you were listened to. Like the others say, it's great you've thought about how you feel and what you need right now. Hopefully a bit of time and info will help you get your head round IVF if that's what you both want xx

Love the home decor jam and kwick

pyjamas am amazed at how you're dealing with it all - not surprised you had a wobble with DH going away. Good luck with the injections xx

PS Skip you sound so level headed about it all.

Spoke to a friend about tests etc which made me feel better. Have not mentioned anything to my Mum about it because she will worry and will question me.

I'm feeling so much more upbeat and maybe turning a corner.

I like this thread too as it keeps me sane.

Kwick - I'm relieved to hear you had a wobble too, I can't imagine you having one to be honest because you're always so calm and positive. And you're right about having not necessarily needing my DH there, I can manage the check-ups and scans without him. I've done them before on my own and I can do them again. Thanks for the pep talk xx your appointments are so soon! What's your plan for shedding a bit more weight? I got a Fitbit for my birthday, I really like them though the 10k steps target is difficult to achieve when I'm not walking to and from work. Might be worth getting one though?

Jam - thanks, your room looks fab. You should feel very proud of making the room a positive place. And if you have a boy it's already the right colour 😉

Babi - glad you're doing better too, TTC is an up and down journey alright. Xx

Lemon - do not be embarrassed! I'm glad the Doctor has had the initiative to start you on the tests. You probably will still conceive naturally but just in case you don't, it's always worth to get started on it. The process is long and arduous and you'll feel better once you start ticking off the things that are okay.

Well done with injection pjs I found it only began to hurt when I had to inject again in the same area - that is why I did a rotation: left bum, right bum, left thigh, right thigh and used lots of Arnica. You go girl!

That is great news lemon it is so nice when you find a nice GP!

Ah skipper how little you know me I may appear calm on the thread but in RL I am quite "volatile" - must be my Spanish side. Ole! 🇪🇸 but anyway as you are - no need to think that I am anything but the calm PMA Queen 👑
I am just going to really try and stick to SW plan lets just forget about the samosa I had yesterday and carry on and maybe lie about my weight if the FC asks

Morning ladies. FF decided to move my O date more in line with my positive OPK this morning. So I think I'm possible 3 or 4 DPO today. IF I actually did ovulate. Of course I'm just going to see what happens re my cycle length.

I'm CD22 today BUT I've been cramping mildly last night and today, feels like AF cramping. 😕 I usually start spotting just before bed on CD24 and all day CD25. So only a few days to find out if I'll have my period on my due date, which is Monday. (Dreading it btw)

Pyjamas you're doing so well, in your face nurse naysayer!!

Skip your post is silently saying everything I'm thinking. I'm so terrified of getting to that point and passing it without an outcome, that's what makes me rewind my mind and want to try everything I can beforehand. I think it's really good you want to prepare mentally. Xxx

Kwick, if anyone can do it, you can. I realised I need to lose a stone to get back to 35 BMI. 😢 I feel so bloated and fat right now.

Ooh flash I loved that interior design programme!

Pyjamas you’re a hero for doing the injections on your own, well done you!

lemon sounds like you have a lovely GP! There’s no harm at all in having tests done if they come back all clear great news, and if not at least you know what you’re dealing with!

Mouse I really hope you don’t start spotting…fingers crossed for you.

On that note I have had a tiny bit of spotting last night and today…period due tomorrow or Friday so I think that’s cycle 20 over with. I can’t believe we’ve been at it so long! This thread definitely makes me feel better and less alone (and makes me laugh a lot too!)

No problem lemony. I'm glad that you managed to have a good chat with your GP and I hope the tests reveal nothing and your BFP is just around the corner.

struggle sorry to hear you think AF is on the way. It's so disheartening but at least we've got our little group to soldier on together!

Mouse hugs. It's going to be hard whatever happens but I really hope AF stays away for you!

kwick lovely to see someone mentioning Arnica (I love it, I think my mum was responsible for that!)

I think I'm in the two weeks of waiting for AF to show up now. I feel like a terrible person as I keep forgetting to take my folic acid. Bad Flash!

Really hope it's not AF mouse and struggle - I hate that feeling of Impending Period, but know it must be awful for you mouse, with it potentially coinciding with due date. We're here if you need us - take care xx

Feel like a fool, but have a minor hump with DH as knocked off our agreed morning aim for HS (hoping it makes a difference...) - wasn't annoyed at the change, just the fact he seemed surprised that was on my mind and I'd passed on my morning run as didn't think had time for both. And now mainly feel stupid as so much for my 'let's not make it a routine' bollocks...

Also, tend to O day 13/14 and GP advised HS days 8-16!! I feel like my fanjo might have something to say about that. Does anyone else think that's a bit much, or am I being a prude? mouse seem to remember you had a marathon run this month...

flash don't feel too bad, as long as you go back to taking it. I tend to have an AF strop and stop for a few days

Sounds like a bit of a knobhead nurse pyjamas !

Glad you're feeling more upbeat Babi. Know what you mean about talking to your mum. I've spoken to mine a bit but not much and only when I get totally desperate for that unconditional parent love, if that makes sense. The rest of the time I don't want to burden her with it. Plus I feel like she tells everything to my sisters and aunt 🙄

Glad your doctor was so nice lemon , hopefully you won't need intervention but getting the ball rolling in the background makes sense

Thanks skipper , I said to DH I'd keep it that colour for a baby's room, no matter the gender 😊

You hear that baby???? We've got a ROOM READY FOR YOU AND EVERYTHING. Come on!!!!!

Kwick you are the official PMA queen 👸🏼

Hope it's not AF cramps mouse , keeping my fx for you

Sorry struggle and hope it's not AF for you either. I know exactly how you feel and cannot believe it's been this long too

Quiet long term TTC makes it impossible to have a normal sex life IMO, don't give yourself a hard time for making it planned. Are you sure your GP didn't mean focus your efforts on that days , rather than do it everyday those days? Seems overkill to me

Sorry haven't caught up on the thread but just wanted to post this absolute corker in the hope it might make you smile on this miserable, wet day...

We've all had pregnancy dreams right? Well I had one last night and at the end of it, we all achieved pregnancy happiness. So pay attention carefully!

First of all, we all met up in London as per Jam's suggestion. Except it looked nothing like London, it was stereotypical China...bamboo, the Great Wall of China etc (this is important I promise you). We all gather in a fertility clinic where we fill in various forms and stare into glass enclosures of pandas who are frolicking about. After a little while, we are presented with syringes filled with panda semen and then we all head off into our private rooms to artificially inseminate ourselves.

It's a pretty sweet deal, there's tea and cake afterwards and we lounge about on the sofas in the waiting room as though this is completely normal laughing and chatting about our lives. Then about an hour later, a Chinese doctor announces to us that we are all 6 weeks pregnant with half human, half panda babies. A quick call to our husbands and/or family members reveals they are as over the moon as we are.

I can't believe I've been doing it wrong all these years, so anyone up for a trip to China?

Holy crap skipper that is one batshit crazy dream! For the record, I would LOVE a baby panda! Half human may be weird though...

Ha ha Pyjamas - I love how blunt you are. Yep completely bat shit crazy. Maybe I'm pregnant? 😱 The fathers a panda. 🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼

Oh skipper! That's my dream, half human half panda baby, I mean, that's the real TTC goal right? Let me get my suitcase!

Quiet my DH has started giving me a sort of raised eyebrow, disappointed look when I suggest even the slightest lack of interest in sex during FW. I never thought we'd get to a point where HE was trying to schedule it! I think it's almost more necessary to schedule it now even though it doesn't seem to making a blind bit of difference as I find it really easy to become complacent, kind of 'well we've had loads of unprotected sex for the past 18 months, if that was going to work surely it would have by now'. But I know that's not the attitude to have!

😂 at panda babies 🐼

I would take it right now!!

That's so true flash - I think I'm more likely to throw my hands up and say 'fuck it' before DH when it comes to thinking about targeting FW etc, but also want to give it our best shot (this month's a rare one where work hours/trips haven't got in the way at all)...what a PITA

Thanks for reassuring me jam Re GP - I wish there was room for misunderstanding, but no - she was advocating every day!

skip...what can I say...that is so sweet in a really bananas way - please keep up the dream diary, this can only get better