TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

So basically I took myself to a&e 22nd June with bleeding they told me everything was fine cause a pregnancy test came back positive and to go home, so I rang my midwife arranged a same day scan found out baby had no heart beat and stopped developing at 8 weeks. Got admitted to hospital 23rd as insane pain and had to go through the labour, was bleeding for 1/2 weeks then stopped done a pregnancy test after leaving hospital (negative) then was in hospital for sprained back 17th July done a preg test then (negative) since miscarriage I've had no bleeding/cramps nothing, however no pregnancy symptoms either so done preg test a week ago (positive) and then 2 clear blues (positive: 1-2 weeks) two days later (positive 2-3 weeks) surely it can't be hormones from the miscarriage? Help? Just scared to get my hopes up and my gp has given me nothing to go on except to say "just wait and see"

Hi & Hope it's ok to jump in? Firstly I'm so sorry for everyone's losses, can't believe this happens to so many.

Compared to others' experiences I feel a bit of a fraud because I've just mc at 5 weeks, and I do understand that's less traumatic than a loss later down the line, I really am not trying to compare my experience to that.

I did want to ask though if anyone else on here had similar experience and if so how did you go about trying again, when did you ovulate, knowing when to start using ovulation kit for example (I use clearblue). I've heard people say they used first day of MC bleed as cycle day one but no idea if that's right?

This has only just happened to me this weekend and I do feel devastated of course, but feel the only way to move on is to try to conceive as fast as possible now. I'm 36 and had been trying for 6 months up to MC.

Thanks XX

Yeah I think temping is more good for confirming what's already happened as you only see the patterns in retrospect.

Hi mummy36, I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and got pregnant straight after by using the miscarriage at day 1 of cycle. He's now 4 :)
Good luck and sorry for your loss, it's never easy x

Weaseldee thanks so much for responding, & so glad that happened for you. I'm going to try the same, using as day one, and hope this is our month x

Well AF just arrived - in the evening weirdly which never happens and makes this a 26 day cycle and 11/12 day LP. My cycles have been 30-32 days since coming off pill in Dec but I did ovulate earlier this month - hoped it was a good sign as the only other month I ovulated this early, I got my BFP, which sadly ended in MC. Silver lining of AF arriving today is that FW will start 5 days before we fly home so lots of scope for a nice holiday baby. I've had a little cry but I'm ok. Onto cycle 4 post mc now. Hope everyone is holding up ok x

impatientmummy* I miscarried at 5 weeks too. It's been 2 months and I am still trying hard to over come it.

Your experience is a devastating one and I think although it is good to feel empathy for others who are further along, I just need to tell you that YOU also need love and care and you have to grieve.

Everyone is different and no matter how far along you were it is still a horrible experience. I can vouch for that.
It's good to talk to people, I found that talking to others has really helped and opened my eyes that we are not alone in this. A lot of women I have spoken with have shared similar experiences.

I marked my loss and I found that really helpful.
I ovulated straight away but I didn't rush it. They say to wait a cycle because it can really mess up timings and lead to more heartache but it's a personal choice. Also, for me, I must have had a high HCG level because it took at least 2 weeks to stop feeling symptoms and I still tested positive for a while.
It's everyone's personal journey. I would talk to your partner as well because I have bad days and It makes it difficult to get out of bed etc. If you are having down days, it's important to share that. I didn't and it caused arguments.
I am feeling better now but everyone is different and only you will know how it affects you.
I read up a lot about trying again and there are some useful articles but I think i obsessed about it. I'm trying to take it easy now and find that making time for me and enjoying myself with the things I love help a lot.
I certainly won't be the same again and i think it's about acceptance of that. The hardest thing for me was not understanding why and I think that is common. I still hate that I don't know why but I have been trying hard to keep fit, eat well and take vitamins which I wasn't doing before.
You will go through stages...I suspect. I went through really wanting to try again as soon as possible, to anger, sadness, guilt. The lot. And that is normal. By understanding that it is normal will go along way. I hope this was somehow helpful... and I hope things go well for you in the future.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Ray

impatientmummy* I miscarried at 5 weeks too. It's been 2 months and I am still trying hard to over come it.

Your experience is a devastating one and I think although it is good to feel empathy for others who are further along, I just need to tell you that YOU also need love and care and you have to grieve.

Everyone is different and no matter how far along you were it is still a horrible experience. I can vouch for that.
It's good to talk to people, I found that talking to others has really helped and opened my eyes that we are not alone in this. A lot of women I have spoken with have shared similar experiences.

I marked my loss and I found that really helpful.
I ovulated straight away but I didn't rush it. They say to wait a cycle because it can really mess up timings and lead to more heartache but it's a personal choice. Also, for me, I must have had a high HCG level because it took at least 2 weeks to stop feeling symptoms and I still tested positive for a while.
It's everyone's personal journey. I would talk to your partner as well because I have bad days and It makes it difficult to get out of bed etc. If you are having down days, it's important to share that. I didn't and it caused arguments.
I am feeling better now but everyone is different and only you will know how it affects you.
I read up a lot about trying again and there are some useful articles but I think i obsessed about it. I'm trying to take it easy now and find that making time for me and enjoying myself with the things I love help a lot.
I certainly won't be the same again and i think it's about acceptance of that. The hardest thing for me was not understanding why and I think that is common. I still hate that I don't know why but I have been trying hard to keep fit, eat well and take vitamins which I wasn't doing before.
You will go through stages...I suspect. I went through really wanting to try again as soon as possible, to anger, sadness, guilt. The lot. And that is normal. By understanding that it is normal will go along way. I hope this was somehow helpful... and I hope things go well for you in the future.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Ray

That sucks grumpy, I'm sorry. Fx for holiday fw, enjoy x

Grumpy, I'm so sorry. I hope you can enjoy your holiday and as Anne mentioned, fingers crossed for holiday fw!

Impatient, welcome, I'm sorry for you loss. I don't think I can put it any better than Ray to be honest - no matter how early a loss, it can still be devastating. When a baby is so wanted and loved already, it's no wonder it's a huge knock when you find out you're not getting the baby you expected. I found that, with my first loss, although I knew mc was common, I didn't expect it to happen to me. After all, most pregnancies are successful and although I felt nervous at times, that's what I would tell myself. Of course, when a mc happens, you don't just mourn the loss of the baby you were growing but you mourn the loss of a future you thought you were going to have. And that's the case regardless of how far along in the pregnancy you were. I feel the same in terms of later losses - I can't imagine how heartbreaking they must be but as Ray said, although it's good to be sympathetic, you are allowed your own grief. It's a slow journey, don't rush yourself x

So the past 2 days nausea has kicked off big time which although means I'm not up to doing much, is reassuring me.

I hope everyone is having a good week so far x

Apologies for the double post! Can't delete it!

Apologies for the double post! Can't delete it!

Hi everyone, mind if I join? This was my first m/c.

Mummy36 & Weasledee, I was wondering about the same thing. The thing that worries me is if there is any physical reason why you can't try again straight after? I'm worried if we do get pregnant again it will be bad for the pregnancy.

I had been bleeding lightly since 27th June, then started bleeding heavily on 24th July, had scan on 28th July which confirmed I was having a threatened m/c. I m/c at 8 weeks on 3rd Aug (I knew I'd m/c), and scan next day on 4th confirmed it had finished naturally.The bleeding eased off gradually after m/c, and finally stopped on Saturday (12th).

I didn't ask the sonographer when we'd be able to try again, all she said was to take the pregnancy test they gave me in 3 weeks (on 25th) and to call them if it's positive. What if I get pregnant between now and then though? Is that bad or is it just because of dating (if it's even possible for me, as I'm not sure when my cycle will return to normal)?

Hope everyone on the thread is ok, I'm sorry to hear about everyone's losses and experiences.

I love the thread title, it's perfect. I've been swinging between hopeful twat and emotional wreck for last 2 months, I'm starting to realise this is something I need to get used to with ttc , it's comforting to know other people feel that way!

Hi Teara, yes it's okay to try again immediately after, but some doctors don't like you to because it makes it difficult to date the pregnancy.

If you want you could keep testing weekly rather than waiting three weeks. My hCG took less time to go down. The only time you should wait for safety reasons is if you have a Molar pregnancy which is something you'd know about.

grumpy sorry about the bfn but do enjoy your holiday. i am also embarking on cycle 4 so I'm with you. but glad your next fertile window falls on holiday too.

yellow omg i've watched those videos too. Christ my google history is mental sometimes!

impatient welcome. there's been lots of wise words already and yes i agree i often think later on must be worse or people that have no children yet (I'm feel very lucky to already have 2 children) but at the same time no matter the circumstances that baby was very much wanted and you picture a different future and its very difficult to let that go.

teara welcome and so sorry for your loss. There is no reason other than dating why you shouldn't try again. However i would personally wait until you get a negative pregnancy test before starting again, otherwise if you do fall pregnant you want be clear if its a new pregnancy or some product left behind. After both my mc's I've waited for a neg pregnancy test. The first one i got a neg very quickly, in a few days, the mmc at 10 weeks took longer - 3 weeks. Perhaps test weekly to see when that happens?

Snap advice from bertie on the weekly test!

So I'm just finishing my period and onto cycle4...have ISWTE book and going to up some vits due to my age. In the book it says it might not have an effect for 3 months which has made me feel better about conceiving this month when my fw is slap bang in the middle of bloody camping with friends and kids...so will approach this month and not worry and just get my vitamins in and hope something happens in the next 3 months. A little pressure has been taken off and that feels good....

New thread soon, this one is about to fill up.

nocatshere & bertie, ahh, good thinking (my brain escaped a while ago!). I'll have a go shortly and call back later. Thanks for the advice.

can't link but to anyone interested ij vitamin b3 the nhs have released some information on their website regarding the recent study.

nocatshere & bertie, just wanted to say thank you again for your advice. My last message was a bit , as I was in the process of running to the bathroom to poas. I've just got a negative result.

I did think 3 weeks was a long wait, as I had stopped having pregnancy symptoms about 2 weeks before the m/c, and in the 2 scans that we saw the sonographer said the baby was developing slower than expected .

Thank you again, I'm feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck today, but I'm hoping I'll be back to hopeful twat soon. I might even progress to emotional twat later on!

Bugger and bollocks.

DH has contacted me late morning with his sperm analysis results- he texted to say that his morphology looks to be a problem at 1% (apparently normal is 4% or more) and motility is just on the cut off of normal!

Of course I've just been googling furiously and it doesn't seem good

Yikes I though sperm analysis would just be a formality and would come back "normal"

Think I need to find a new group for me- TTC after miscarriage, taking more than 12 months and with dodgy sperm!

Oh no Turquoise :( I post on this and on TTC 10 months +, they are a supportive bunch on there, some with infertility diagnosis, some unexplained.

Hi all, I've been away for a week and wow the thread is nearly full plus loads of new members! I am sorry to read about the losses and struggles you've all had and hope you get your BFPs and more importantly babies soon.

I'm now 6+4 (give or take a couple of days) and have my first scan booked at the RMC tomorrow. Nervous/excited to know that there's definitely something there but of course worried and from past experience I know even a successful scan is no guarantee (in both my 9wk mcs I saw a hb at 8wks). The positive news is that I've been feeling quite sick and dizzy (room was spinning this morning, yay) and my cb digi has gone up to 3+ so cautiously optimistic but simultaneously expecting the worst.

It's a strange tension living between those two extremes all the time, like washing that's been pegged out. It was good to be away for a few days but at one point I had some twinges and immediately thought the worst which caused a mini breakdown at a funfair. The rest of the time I've been quite calm but constantly aware of my body and second guessing what's going on.

I nearly bought the B3 but haven't after reading all the stuff. So I'm on Pregnacare Max, separate folic acid and aspirin.

@BertieBotts
Thanks for that

I'm reeling a bit at the moment
CD14 and I should be kind of excited (like I get every month) but now it seems a bit pointless, like another fucking joke Mother Nature is playing

His GP was apparently quite blasé about it and his sperm count/concentration seems pretty high...I know it'll probably be a case of "keep trying" but we don't have the time to just keep going aimlessly
I'm going to be 40 next summer

Are you alright sorting a new thread Bertie? This must have been the quickest ever!

What a total fucker Turquoise, don't blame you for being in shock. Do you get a follow up appointment to interpret the results or just the bare numbers?

I'm CD25 and would usually be due af in 2 days. We'll see what happens, FF tells me I'm only 8DPO. Temp this morning was exactly the same as yesterday, which seems weird. Attaching a pic which I don't expect anyone to look at, I'm even boring myself, just putting it out there....

And yes, I paid for it, like a complete sucker. Only 3 months though, which is how I'm justifying it! (So ashamed)