TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

Can I join in on the mini vent... My SIL announced she was expecting number 2 on my due date 😥 only a couple of weeks back and at the time DH had just said he was ready to try again... Although I'm happy for them, it hit me so hard, couldn't stop crying that evening. Miss my baby 😥 now it sometimes feels like will it ever happen, worried about my age (37, 38 later this year) and DH doesn't want to talk or know much, just wants everything casual and not really planned...( Find this near impossible as it's always on my mind) CD5 now... No idea when to start dtd regularly without making it obvious to dh that it's ov time... Then other times im feeling bah is there a point will it happen? Sorry feeling pessimistic grr need to snap out of it... Just had friends round who have 4 dc.... Hit home that I want more...

That sucks hula. It must be so tough having someone in the immediate family due on the same date.

I used to do the pretend-casual thing but recently decided to be a bit more scientific and include DH in my testing etc. Frankly as a pp says it was fairly obvious when I was ovulating and sex has not been at its most exciting since all this started, so we may as well approach it more joylessly methodically. Strangely it almost had the opposite effect as I didn't feel so alone and we had some quite nice times last month, although there was some performance anxiety stress as well.

I read It Starts With The Egg (which I'd recommend to any newbies) and was taking Ubiquinol and Mya Ova (folate + myo inositol), as well as vit c and regular pregnacare conception.

Can't believe I'm still pregnant. Every day is taking so long. All my markers seem such a long way off, unreachable. 10 days until my first scan, 4 weeks until my danger point (I've had 2 mc at 9w), 7 weeks until the end of the 1st tri. I'm terrified every time I go to the loo but trying to stay calm and positive. All my pg/mc have been so different there's no way of knowing how this will turn out so all I can do is wait.

Hi again all. Unfortunately, I'm back - two weeks ago today I started bleeding, was scanned the following (Monday) morning when I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but bean was only measuring 9 weeks and no heartbeat. We had seen a heartbeat at a private scan at 8 weeks (measuring 7+5 so entirely "on track") so had got past the point where we MC-ed in March, and I relaxed.

I started bleeding quite heavily two days after the scan (filling a night time pad in 20 minutes heavy) so spent the afternoon in A&E having fluids and medicine to stop the bleeding, then had to go back the following day because a clot got stuck. Eventually had an ERPC on the Friday, and the bleeding has now stopped and we had a negative test last Friday.

I've got past the numbness, and the anger comes and goes. I'm back at work tomorrow and really not looking forward to it; I had told everyone at work that I was pregnant following the 8 week scan (well, the ladies I work with guessed as soon as I switched to decaf coffee) and I know they're going to be lovely but I also know I'm going to cry. And I've only just bloody stopped crying at home randomly. (I mean, I even cried at The Frog Chorus). I'm going to see how it goes tomorrow and just play it by ear.

I saw the GP on Friday who said it's probably just one two of those things, but that it wouldn't hurt to take the higher dose of folic acid (I'm 40 and not the slimmest, although my BMI is around 27 ish) rather than the standard, and once I get a BFP to take a baby aspirin, but that she couldn't refer me for any testing until I had had another MC.

I'm not sure whether we're going to wait for a natural period or whether we're just going to go for it this time, right now DTD is the last thing on my mind, but I'm sure that will change at some point. I hope it does, DH is a sweetheart.

Oh em what terrible news

I'm so so incredibly sorry to hear this. See how you go tomorrow, could you do a half day? I don't know how flexible your work is but blessed with the ability to work anywhere I have my laptop I did a staggered return after my mmc with alternating days working from home and in the office and it really helped. I could brace face it knowing I could cry in my pjs while fielding emails the day after if I needed to. Sometimes the sad faces of people who knew or who'd guessed I was pregnant then must have assumed it had gone wrong were much worse than people who had no idea. I'm glad you have lovely DH. You've both had such a horrendous shock you need to lean on each other. Bleeding that heavily and having to cope with a&he and then surgery is going to take some time to recover from, and he'll have been so worried about you. A quick bfn is something and I hope you're not feeling too bad physically now. The feelings side is a whole other thing. Rant, cry, have pyjama days, try to just let the feelings come. We're here for you and I so wish this loss hadn't happened. Sadly you'll see some old faces here still. I'm sending you the biggest hug xxx

Hello all. Currently undergoing a mc and rather upset by it all. Have taken a day or two off work because I'm feeling quite grim (hope that's not making a fuss, just not sure I'd cope today.)

Can anyone give me a brief rundown on how long I can expect to bleed, how long roughly it'll take to get a negative test and how long it takes to get back ovulating? I know 'it depends' is the answer to all but would be comforting to hear some rl experience

em I'm so sorry for you.

yellow yes-I sometimes wish for an office job, but I know I'd HATE it. It's just really rubbish having to tell people so early, but they were AMAZING when I had my MMC, and I know I have to. I was freaking out a little on Thursday and Friday trying to avoid being places or handling certain things as they didn't know. My job is physical too, but I'm pretty fit & used to lifting heavy loads, but will have to be a little more careful I suppose. One of my colleagues is pregnant, and due to go on mat leave soon (she let me know the day I returned to work after the MMC-very sympathetically but talk about a baby bomb!) She wasn't in last week, so the staff a little more blase about the warning signs when hazards going around.
It's our very busy period at the moment, so hoping it doesn't get too stressful!
I'm trying to figure out the caffeine in my morning cup of coffee-I have a bean to cup machine and it uses about 11 g coffee beans per (double sized) cup I make. Google suggests about 95mg caffeine in 11g beans, and not all of that will end up in the coffee I presume, so I'm reckoning I can carry on with that. I cut back from two when I was pregnant the last time, and don't drink instant at work anymore. I don't drink tea either, but am partial to dark chocolate

Hello ana. Sorry to hear your news. Here are my stats. I hope it helps.

Miscarried (missed) twins at around 10 weeks (bleeding started at 7 weeks but they held on til week 9/10)

Had an surgical management procedure 25th May

Bleeding for first 5 days or so
Then it went away and came back a bit (not period) was most annoying

Got a negative test by 25 June.

I had a scan, no retained product. But I had cysts on both ovaries

Got a heavy 7 day period 12 June

Cysts had gone by mid June BUT I was told I had not ovulated that cycle

Did a pregnancy test on 2 Aug and it's positive so I did ovulate it seems. Did about 15 more and line getting darker.

Now I'm scared and in limbo not quite believing my luck. Early days of course and not telling anyone in rl.

Damn I meant I got my period in JULY! Cysts went on July too thank god.

anatidae I'm sorry for your loss.

I had an ERPC, and bled pretty heavily for about 5 days after then spotted black blood for about 2 weeks. I still tested positive 2 weeks later, but can't remember if/when I took another one after that.
My period arrived on CD28 after the ERPC, I have no idea if I ovulated that cycle, and it took a good few months for me to start having my normal cycle signs.

Thanks lime and fingers crossed for you

I've been spotting for a week then bleeding now. I really hope it isn't to protracted, I just want it over with. :(

Work were utter shits when I was pregnant the first time (I got demoted when I came back from mat leave despite apparently being a stellar performer before...) I'm taking today off and hiding in bed :(

em, gutted to see you back here, i'm so sorry. Echoing what others have said - make sure you take time to process and look after yourself. I'm sure eventually you will get around to dtd again but it's no wonder you're not thinking about that yet! Please take it easy x

ana, so sorry you find yourself here. I bled lightly after an erpc for about 3 weeks (spotting really) for mmc of twins. Got af on day 31 after surgery despite only have a week tops between mc and af bleeding. Second mc was natural, bled heavily for about a week which then stopped quite suddenly. Bled again about a week after that lightly and then I think, although I'm actually not sure, got af on day 30 after mc started. First time we waited to dtd before first af simply because of its proximity to mc bleeding and we wanted that to stop first, and second we didn't bother waiting. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you x

Those of you with recent bfp's and working in a hazardous environment, that must be so tricky! What points did you tell people at work last time and realistically how long can you leave it?

em I'm so sorry . I hope things go ok at work today, but it's also ok to not be ok - just be as kind to yourself as you can.

ana I'm really sorry for your loss . Mine have all been early (two at five weeks, one at seven) and each time I bled for a week, with two or three days of really, really heavy and painful bleeding and then another four or five days at what I'd call a 'normal' period intensity. I didn't do another test after the bleeding with any of them, but with the first one the test had gone almost negative before the bleeding started, and with the third one (at seven weeks) the hospital declared that my hcg was dropping 'nicely' before the bleeding started (it was a MMC), and I think it was down to about 300 when I started bleeding. Every time I then ovulated between day 20 and 24 - 'normal' for me is 16-18, so it was late but not by much. I got pregnant on two of those cycles and then miscarried again; multiple doctors have assured me that there is no connection between trying again so soon and losing again.

Feeling bizarrely nervous about my appointment at Coventry today! Felt the same about my appointment with the consultant at our local hospital, and they didn't even do anything but talk to me then! I've never been at all funny about doctors or hospitals before, but then I've been lucky enough to never have any kind of serious health condition. I think one of the things I find upsetting about this is that I feel like I've 'lost faith' in my body - but I know I was lucky to get to 30 without ever having any problem.

Oh, emwithme, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. That is absolutely devastating having thought you were nearly out of the woods.

Anatidae, so sorry you find yourself here too. Miscarriage is a shitty, shitty thing to go through. There's no other way to put it. But we're a supportive bunch of hopeful tests and emotional wrecks.

I had a two week bleed with my first miscarriage (6+3), two weeks with my second (4) and five days with my third (6+4). My period came back four weeks after I finished bleeding each time. Although they've not been quite the same since.

Em, I'm 40 too and I'm taking ubiquinol, high dose folic acid (5mg), ttc multivitamin, extra vit D, vit B6 and B complex. I rattle when I walk. No idea if it's making any difference but we've had an enforced 3 month break for tests so thought it was worth giving supplements a go. I'm contemplating having an endo scratch this month too.

Hopeful twats not hopeful tests. Stupid autocorrect.

Lisa, best of luck and a hand hold for today. Let us know how you get on. Oh, and get there early. It is an absolute pig to park at Coventry - I was nearly late for my appointment.

So sorry for your loss ana

I'm freaking out this morning about not having ovulated this cycle, can any temping experts talk me down?

FF said it would be CD14 which was last Friday, based on copious ewcm and right ov pain I was sure it was Thursday and had a small temp dip. Two small rises Friday and Saturday, stupidly forgot my thermometer as we were away Saturday night and today it's gone back down again, though vv slightly. FF isn't giving me a coverline but I've only had 3 days so far this cycle where I went over the coverline of last cycle.

CM went from ew to watery and now really thick and creamy and cervix has stayed high and soft, and the right ov pain has happened every day since Thursday.

Have I not ovulated? I'm CD17 now and usually have 26ish day cycles.

I'm 38 - mild paranoia that I'm now past it :( but hopefully that's just the hormonal chaos..,,

Thanks for replies everyone- if you bled for two weeks did that include the initial spotting?

Oh em I know that feeling of seeing a healthy heartbeat and passing 'the point' only for it to go horribly wrong only a week or so later. I'm glad you have a fantastic DH and I'm sure you'll get back to ttc when you feel ready. I was quite surprised how ready I was to go again soon after my mc's. I think being close to DH was important and also the thought of being pregnant again although scary was a nice thought. We are here so please vent any time you need xx

ana my natural mc at 7 weeks felt like a very heavy period for a week and I conceived that cycle straight after. Unfortunately that turned into a mmc at 10 weeks despite seeing a heartbeat around 7 weeks. I had a medical management and bled for almost 3 weeks after with a neg preg test at the end of that week. Then a week clear and then bled again which I assumed was af. No idea if I ov or not. My periods since (I'm on cycle 3) have been odd with ov maybe not being clear or later than normal. This cycle seems the most normal since so hopefully my body is back on track.

ana I'm also 38, 40 next year so I get your fear. There's quite a lot of us on here in that late 30s early 40s age range so we are here together!!

In other news I'm doing the usual torture of wondering whether to do a preg test this afternoon or tomorrow morning (have ic in the bathroom cupboard) and I'm sure the answer I'll get will be definitive as af is due according to ff fri. I tested really early last fri and it was neg, but today I'm cd24 10dpo. Or wait and be caught out by af. Zero symptoms. God I hate this process....

Woah went away for the weekend to return to 7 new pages of posts!

Hello to everyone new and sorry that you're here.
emwithme your post really struck a cord, I'm so sorry .

I'm 8dpo and feel nothing. Last time I was pregnant, I had a dreadful cold and major fatigue by this point. The sane part of my brain says that every pregnancy is different and this information doesn't mean anything but the very loud and annoying part of my brain is telling me that I'm already out.
Anyone else constantly compare symptoms to when you got your BFP??

Lisa all the best for today, please do fill us in on how it goes.

Ana sorry if I've missed it but I can't see how far along you were. I had 2 x mc at 9w which were 3-4 weeks of bleeding but I had an ERPC with the 2nd and the bleeding was much lighter. The other four were very early/cps so it was more like a period and then my cycles returned. In each case my next period was really heavy and I needed towels as well as tampons.

Sorry to you and all those who have returned or newly joined us.

Step did you get your 5mg folic prescribed or just buy it? I asked the RMC but the consultant was very dismissive even though I am over 40 and high BMI.

MsJuniper, not prescribed. I just did loads of research and it has been shown to reduce miscarriage. In America it's standard to take 5mg folic acid. You can't get 5mg unless prescribed here so I just take 12 of the low dose ones to add up to 5mg! Folic acid is a B vitamin so you just wee out what your body doesn't need x