TTC #2 (August bfps)

[Impatientmummy36]

Hi all, here we are again :)

New thread for all those ttc second babies.

Good luck everyone this cycle! xxx

Thanks @Mother, I have had the initial bloods done and it's all come back normal, so I have an appointment with the gp to discuss options today. It's either 17 or 5 months, depending on if you count the 12 months when I was breastfeeding and my cycle had returned. I'm starting to get used to the idea of having an only child, but have hope that we can conceive again. I hope you are able to manage your anxieties. My husband found cognitive behavioural therapy helpful with his anxiety, as well as meditation and mindfulness. He is so far away from a raging hippy that I was surprised he was open to it, and in the end he's got the tools and mindset to cope with those thoughts. Best of luck ther.

And @cakes sorry to hear you got a bfn. It's the worst, isn't it? Enjoy some wine tonight.

Morning all, thanks for the condolences...😞 Syd, sorry af got you too. Wow, 43 days, that is one long cycle....also cycle 17 - as someone else said, I would've officially crazy by then....I already am now. Well done you for keeping sane.

I was thinking last night that we really really have to just stay positive and think about what we do have and maybe stop stressing so much about ttc in order to actually be successful at it..... (mother, I am also worried that stress is affecting my ability to conceive.... again, like you, not mainly from the actual ttc process but from work and housework and managing relationship and childcare....i.e life in general; two many spinning plates!!)

I recovered relatively quick after the disappointment of another bfn this month. After the usual crying and feeling like utter shit and a massive failure and letting down everyone (the thoughts that always run through my head: I can't provide a sibling for DS; we can't be a "proper" family, I.e more then one child - which I know is wrong and stupid anyway...) which come with af every month, I started thinking about being more proactive in a positive way.

So I am going to put in one last massive effort with ttc for the next six months, but also be glad of what I do have and try to enjoy that without letting ttc get me down if it doesn't work out.

These are my goals for the next few months:

• start temping again (began this morning / setting alarm for 5.30 every day as this is my wake up on a normal work day anyway....oh gonna love this at the weekends!! )

• sex every day from day 12 to day 16, or as a minimum every other day if we really can't manage it

• enjoy the sex!! And put in some effort to initiate and seduce oh rather than just "it's the right time, we need to have sex now....!" Get out sexy underwear that is hidden under a pile of "comfortable" non-wired bed bras and maternity bras!!! (Why am I still wearing these?!?!?! Because they're so comfy.....!)

• get back into running - which was going really well until I got pneumonia last month and had to give up - gah! This makes me feel so much better about myself, my body and hence wearing said sexy underwear (see above!)

• keep off the caffeine and further reduce alcohol but not enough to mean I can't enjoy a glass and a laugh here and there!

• book Drs app to discuss no conception after six months (as I'm over 35) and get blood tests for different times of the month to check hormone levels

• have a frank and honest discussion with oh about why I need to get pg asap (so many reasons, including financial and to fit in with career and job options ATM, as well as the obvious emotional ones and to complete our lovely family and make DS a little brother or sister....) Need to make sure he is completely on side and as into it as me. I don't think he realises at the moment why it needs to be soon - mainly because of my age but not just that, for reasons above - but that is my fault because I don't tell him!!

• and finally enjoy as much time as I can with my lovely son and oh and be happy with them, not wasting my emotions feeling sad for a baby who isn't here whilst my current son grows up with a sad mummy!

Well sorry for the long and rambling post....mainly therapy for me (!!) but hopefully something here rings a bell with someone else and it will help you think about things and get back on track too.

Good luck all xxx

@Lopey! Yes! More of this! You've inspired me. I'm feeling all of this and really need to be grateful and positive so ttc doesn't ruin my relationship with dh and my dd has a focused and contented mummy. Ooh and more importantly I can actually be happy!

Thanks for that

lopey I have been feeling the same about making most of DS as they grow up so quickly and it's not fair on him that my mind is elsewhere on a baby that doesn't exist! I'm also trying to relax more and drink less caffeine etc. Have made a vow to start taking lunchtime walks too. Fx.

Ah completely got the days wrong! I'm not even due until 29th!!!
I'm shattered recently but have put it down to my DD who has had an ear infection for over a month and hasn't slept!
I feel sick of a morning until I eat, my boobs are killing me and the smell of petrol made me feel sick!
All completely to early to even have symptoms yet I know, but it does play havoc with your mind!

You have completely inspired me lopey - after a lovely weekend hanging out with DS lots has reminded me about the lovely funny little boy I already have and how I should make the most of him. Am also going to take steps to be healthier.

cupcake I'm also due to test on 29th! No real symptoms atm but trying not to overinterpret random sensations or google very early signs of pregnancy

I'm still on this bus by the skin of my teeth! I stupidly tested, wasting a frer, yesterday at 9dpo, unsurprisingly bfn. Now I want to hold out until Thursday morning as myself and DH have a doctors appointment that morning and it would be nice if it were rendered pointless 😉. No real expectations this month though, as we weren't great leading up to ov and only dtd in my fertile period about twice (plus once at 1dpo if that counts).

Oh tiramisu good luck for the 29th!!
Is it too early for symptoms am I just ill

I'm due on Thursday, 10/11dop today and BFN on IC. In fact I'm so not pregnant I think my pee made the test strip whiter

I've not had any symptoms at all. I've been pg 3 times, I know when I am and I'm not. Still hanging out here until AF actually arrives.

Lady dolly, you never know every pregnancy is different. I can't even remember if I have any symptoms this early when I was last pregnant... I feel like this is all new to me again! I feel so sick if I don't eat and I'm shattered I'm sure it's way to early tohave symptoms

Thanks cupcakes

Keeping my fingers crossed for you anyway ladydolly - I can't remember how I felt in the run up to finding out I was pregnant the first time, so have no expectations

Argh another weird cycle! Got positive opk yesterday at 6am. Negative by 6pm so I assumed I must have ovd during the day. On Monday I only did opk in the morning so it's perfectly possible it would have been positive in the evening. But no temp rise! My temp is same as yesterday! And during the pre ov phase my temp has been rising since day 6. It's most odd. So no idea if I actually have ovulated or not. Bum :(

@motherofboy I had this happen a couple of times and googled and apparently your temp goes up after but there's no strict timeline for how soon after so it still might go up.

AF due tomorrow but have no 'symptoms' to speak of yet. Holiday on Saturday so really don't want it to be late!

Oh that's interesting lady. I have always had a dramatic rise the next day so this is odd for me but hoping for a rise tomorrow!

Yeah same here but once or twice it took 2 days.

So with no symptoms (other than a foul mood at the weekend) and no warning AF arrived this afternoon so that's good, will be nearly done by hols. Hadn't got my hopes up this month so that makes it easier. I'm off to the September bus, hope to not see any of you there!

Evening ladies, excuse my tardiness. Welcome to the newbies and sorry for the recent AFs, especially for the chemical mother. I like your positive attitude lopey.

Does anyone feel like circumstances are conspiring against them this, as opposed to pure luck the first time? With DS I caught first month and we only DTD twice. This time, we keep missing our opportunity. Last month, i ovulated early and DH was away. This month I thought it would be straightforward as DH is on school holidays so it should be a relaxing time with lots of opportunities. Instead DS and DH have a horrible d&v virus. I really feel for DH, but inside I'm so gutted that we're missing another month

Hugs squashy nothing nice when you know you don't even have the chance to DTD for whatever reasons and your out for the month before AF even arrives I only managed to do it on CD10 and CD15 and I ovulated on CD14 so not holding out much hope.

I have to keep really really busy to keep my mind off it!

How's everyone doing?! X

Back from my holidays and ofcourse I had to test this morning. 2 days before af and bfn. I am out again for this month. Not sure I will continue ttc. It's stressful and disheartening. At 39 I was probably fooling myself anyway

So sorry nubian - big hugs to you whatever you decide.

squashy I know what you mean about it feeling much trickier this time. I fell with DS really quickly (1st cycle of properly trying). This time round, my fw has clashed with holiday and other inconvenient times (DH was worried about me falling pregnant with a due date before my contract ended) and it's felt a lot more difficult.

I am being strict with myself and not testing until Monday. I have lots of stuff planned this weekend and I have no intention of spending it sulking

Thanks karpuzkiz and tiramisu

I wouldn't rule yourself out nubian just due to age, it's a total lottery. One of our NCT group just had her second at 42 and had no problems conceiving, it's taking me far longer at 33.

I've decided that if I don't catch in the next couple of months, I'll apply to go part time at work and suffer any financial loss of mat pay. What's really getting to me is that I'm waiting for a mat leave for more time with DS, which is ridiculous really as with two I'd have less time for him. Hopefully then I'll be more relaxed and patient.

squashy hugs I feel the same. Fell on second cycle with DS, now on 7th cycle and counting.

I don't think it's my month. Been quite stressed lately and although I didn't have temp rise today it was tiny and day later than usual. At least I ovulated I suppose. Don't know what our problem is, we dtd at all the right times (this cycle cd8, 10,11,12,13 with ov on cd13) but still no joy. Must be stress. Or maybe dh swimmers given up the ghost! At 26 and 28 it does seem slightly strange as we are both young not overweight healthy! Rant over.

Hi, just catching up after a few days offline. Welcome to the new people!

So sorry Nubian but as Squashy says I wouldn't give up now because of age. I know lots of people who have had a baby post 40 with no issues conceiving. I'm 39 too and trying to stay positive but it is getting difficult after almost a year of trying. Maybe taking a break from it for a couple of months will help? Whatever you decide to do big hugs x

I finally made a doctors appointment, it's next week. I'm feeling slight panic that there might be something wrong. I had a c section last time so wondering if I've got scarring or blocked tubes from that. I just hope it doesn't take too long to find out if there is a problem.

Lopey I really liked your positive post. I feel exactly the same way and am going to focus more on enjoying my ds and also getting back into exercise for myself.

Are people just staying on here for September? Af due on 8th I think so would like to hang around if others are.

Good luck to anyone testing this week x x

I'm hanging around kashy my af due on 6th

Started spotting today at 10 dpo....it is certainly abad sign for me...so disappointed we have tried everything and caught the right time...😥😥

Agggh! 12dpo and just got a total squinter on a frer- it's not even really common my out on the camera! It's my last test as well. Need to pop out to Boots later to check. It shouldn't be so faint at 12dpo, surely? Very nervous....