Anyone ttc baby #2 in July?

[Impatientmummy36]

Hi all,
Anyone ttc number 2?!

I know lots of you are so I thought I'd see if anyone in same boat wants to chat on a new thread?!

I chat to some lovely ladies on the monthly ttc buses....I know some are ttc their first baby (some with real difficulties like MC, or just for a long time) and I feel so bad to be worrying about conceiving #2 when I already have a lovely little one tucked up in his bed upstairs, when I'm sure they'd love to be in that position. (Not that they'd ever say anything or show any resentment, as they're all lovely and just as supportive whether people are trying for 1st or 5th!!!)

It is a bit different though, different emotions... grateful for what you have but longing to be a mummy again... and different challenges (trying to fit in dtd when you have a little person sabotaging your efforts and popping up to demand a drink/teddy/phantom tummy ache, I swear he has a radar for it!)

So I just wondered if anyone wanted to chat who's in same boat ttc #2, as it can also be hard when you desperately want to have another baby, to give your others a sibling, and it's seemingly not happening...

I'm ttc#2 (ds just turned 3)
Age 36
Cycle 5 (af just ending). Feeling disappointed but hopeful ...

Good luck all ttc whatever number you're on!

X

Sorry all who are feeling down/bfn xx and I think I'm definitely about to join you once again:

Tested today, day 29, af due tomorrow or sat and a BFN. So I think very unlikely it's wrong (FRER.)

We really can't have dtd any more than we did in June, 5x all at the right times...

Think I'm going to phone around tomorrow and enquire about having some tests. I know it's only been 6 months but because of our ages I am now really getting panicky. If anyone's started the process of some general blood tests etc let me know how it went and any tips? I know nhs won't help so will have to pay I think...

X

Impatient - sorry to hear about your BFN. I shall keep everything crossed that it's just too early.

I wouldn't rule out testing on the NHS if you're over 35. I got the ball rolling after cycle 6 back in May, had a chat with a sympathetic GP who ordered day 3 and 21 blood tests for me (and then following a consultation with DH) sperm analysis. We're aiming to get the results on 24 July but it could all have been done a lot faster if I hadn't got confused about ovulation during cycle 7 and therefore missed the window for a day 21 test and if DH had made his GP appointment sooner.

I've been told that if there are issues (which I think there are) we'll be referred to our local NHS fertility team. I suspect I might also get a scan to check everything looks ok (and possibly a dye test to check my one remaining Fallopian tube is working) on the NHS...

We'll no doubt have to pay for more invasive fertility treatment, but all the advice I found online appeared to suggest that you're better off seeing how far the NHS can take you (assuming it can be done fairly quickly) before going down the private route, not least as you won't end up spending a fortune on a whole raft of private tests that turn out to be unnecessary.

I hope this is helpful. I shall be keeping everything crossed that even if you get the ball rolling on the fertility testing front, you manage to invoke the law of sod by getting upduffed by the time they're done.

Thanks cariad that's really useful... I did speak to one of our GPs a couple of months ago, and she said they wouldn't even begin talking to us about tests unless we'd been trying for more than 12 months. I did mention to her than nhs online says if you're over 35 then see your GP at 6 months... I also said that we were using opks, doing it at all the right times etc (i.e. Surely 6 months of trying 'properly' as opposed to a couple could be 12 months of dtd whenever and not having a clue, missing OV every time!) but she was adamant!!

Sounds like your GP a lot more open minded about this? I'll make an appointment with one of the other GPS, one of the practice partners, and see if they'd be willing to do at least the initial bloods etc.

From what you said, they need to rest on exactly day 3 of cycle and day 21 of cycle, is that right?

Thanks xxx

squashy I know what you mean about missing your first child - I'm away with work at the moment and I miss DS massively.

I went back full-time after mat leave and it was really tough. I got a new job that is 3 days a week and it's working out well. The drop in salary was similar to the nursery savings, which helps.

Impatient - How frustrating on the GP front. I hope you manage to talk to someone more sympathetic. I totally get your point that there's a huge difference between not timing everything to perfection for 6 months and doing so... The main thing that prompted me to start the ball rolling was the fact that we'd been using opks, moving mountains to time everything perfectly every month, using preseed etc.

In answer to your questions, the day 3 test can be done anytime between CD1 and CD5. It tests your FSH, which is an indicator of ovarian reserve. If your FSH levels are high, this suggests that your body is having to work harder to ovulate and that your ovarian reserve is likely to be low/ lower than average. (I suspect that this is the case with me, as I often get "highs" on my CBFM as early as CD6). The GP also ran a battery of tests for thyroid function; diabetes etc. at the same time as these can all impact fertility, however, I don't know how standard this is.

If your FSH level is high, the next step (as I understand it) can be a blood test to check AMH which is a much more accurate way of determining ovarian reserve as FSH levels are hormonal and therefore fluctuate quite a bit which means they're not the most reliable indicators. I'm not sure whether this is available on the NHS or not, but will definitely pay for it privately if my FSH levels are high and it's not offered.

The day 21 blood test needs to be done 5-9 days before AF (so not necessarily day 21 at all) and it just tests your progesterone levels to check whether you ovulated.

Sorry for the BFNs guys I would also recommend trying to see a more sympathetic GP Impatientmummy.. The guidelines definitely say six months for over 35s! We went to see the GP on cycle 12 when TTC DD.. She was very understanding and helpful, booked me in blood tests and DH for a sperm test. DH had the sperm test and I'd had the day 21 test and was waiting for my period to start so I could arrange the day 3 test.. But it never showed up.. So that was as far as we got, but I think the next step would have been an ultrasound.

Squashy.. I work 3 days (one of those from home as I have a long commute).. I think it's the right balance for me though I'm still getting used to leaving DD in nursery as she's only been going just over a month. I think part of it is I'm not 100% on the nursery. DD seems to have settled fine and seems to like the staff but it always seems so chaotic and the staff seem to just be fire-fighting a lot. Think we might be looking for another one.

AF due on Sunday and still not tested yet though my resolve may weaken tomorrow.. Last night I felt so ill, sore throat and really achy/shivery.. Which of course is a pregnancy sign And heartburn! Though I know I didn't get that with DD until well into the second semester.. And of course it has nothing to do with the Haagen Daz ice-cream I polished off

What's the deal with tests if you're under 30? I'm approaching cycle 6... I'm assuming a gp will take one look at my age (26) plus fact I already have a child and tell me to come back after a year. Am I right? We dtd at all the right times too, am bummed it's nearly been 6m

Thanks for all the supportive comments ladies. Feeling a bit better about things this evening. I need to speak to my boss about some of my responsibilities tomorrow and not sure whether to raise the PT thing. I've been in the job 7 months so only just long enough to request flexible working. I was thinking of asking to go 4 days as a temporarily till Christmas. Is my understanding right that mat pay is based on your salary at 25 weeks? So if I'm not pregnant this month, then it wouldn't have an impact on mat pay?
It would be a shame to reduce my mat pay if I went permanently to four days, however might give a peace of mind that I wouldn't have negotiate post mat leave.

Mother I also can find the day really long on my own with DS, I enjoy his company most when we're hanging out with others.

Sorry about the Bfn squashy. Tbh I really don't like Frer. Feel they are over priced and are they really as sensitive as they claim to be. Sorry guess I'm sceptical. You are not out until Af arrives no matter what the test say. All women's bodies are different soooo...fingers crossed and baby dust xx

Sorry meant Impatient and not squashy!

Cariad thanks that's so helpful... I'm going to call in morning and book appointment. Hopefully I could get in between day 1-5 and they might agree to do the first test.

I really hope you get a positive outcome from your tests later this month- Fingers crossed at least once you have the information about what maybe holding things up, if anything, you can find a way forward. Let us know what happens? I will let you know how I get on and thanks again xx

Hi silversun, thanks for your advice, I am definitely going to try to find a more sympathetic GP at the practice.

And I like the sound of the outcome of your tests :) so many people say the month they conceived was the one they'd started tests or even ivf (or given up altogether!). Let us know how you get on at weekend, fingers crossed your 'symptoms' are baby and not ice cream related!! xx

Thanks Nubian and I hope you're right :)

I hope you're feeling a little better now. The first day or two of af are the worst. I usually manage some perspective the rest of the month but the first couple of days - total write-off/emotional wreck/blame self for aged eggs and not starting trying sooner (insert any other ways of beating self up!) xx

Temp went up today a fair bit so I caved and tested - as predicted bfn. I am so sick of seeing that blank white test with only one line. Breaks my heart every time. Cycle 6 seeming like more and more of a possibility. Don't know what we can do! We have cut out alcohol completely, both limited caffeine to one cup a day, both eat balanced diet, have sex at all the right times and I AM ovulating according to my charts. And we are 26 and 28 and managed to conceive DS on cycle 2 so we can't be infertile right? Just don't understand why it hasn't happened

Seeing as I've been awake since 5:30, I tested and BFN. However, my app now says AF due Sunday, not Saturday, so keeping my fingers crossed I tested too early with my Tesco's cheapie. Am I being ridiculous or is there still hope for me?

Sorry Mother and Tiramisu I did the same this morning as woke at 5. Bfn. I'm due af Sun too and used an Internet cheapie. Might get a better one today.
Felt like crying when I saw the black white space. Sorry you're feeling the same. Not out until you're out etc but hard not to feel hopeless isn't it.

Blank *

Sorry for the Bfn everyone. Can be frustrating. Thanks Impatient I feel better since speaking to you nice ladies. Af finishing and the we will start trying again. First couple of days of af is always rough and I do feel very sorry for myself! But then I perk up when we start trying again. I will start using preseed this cycle and pray it does the trick and I finally get my bfp. Preseed worked for me when I conceived my first born. Conceived on the 2nd cycle. Fingers crossed. Baby dust xx

mother and 1000jobs sorry to hear about yours - I did think it was a bit of a long shot for me, but its still really hard to see the negative test in front of you. Will wait and see what happens Sunday.

Fingers crossed and baby dust for your next cycle nubian

Sorry everyone -it's just awful isn't it x

Mother you're obviously doing everything right, think we all are, and the truth is (as many of us know from our first babies) it shouldn't be this difficult!- no amount of coffee or wine stopped me conceiving first time, 0 effort required!

So I do think for most of us (or I hope) it's just a case of it being random and it taking time...? Which doesn't make it any easier for us to deal with I know :(

Saw you said about testing and your age? I think you might be right, but if you think there could be an issue you could still try. They may be able to recommend something else helpful? (although I suspect most of us know more about the topic than the GP!) I know it must feel as horrible at any age when you want this so badly - I'm 10 years older than you and wishing I started all of this sooner - hopefully your age is a real positive fertility-wise and you have got time on your side x x

Sorry Mother, Tiramisu and 1000 for the BFNs Even if you are deep-down expecting it, the stark whiteness is still so gut-wrenching, isn't it.. I don't have any tests in the house but I'm working from home today so I may nip out and get one.. By which time I fully expect to be joining you.. Definitely got the pre-AF tummy heaviness setting in.

Mother.. I guess it depends on the GP and their mood at the time.. A friend of mine TTC #1 ended up convinced she wasn't ovulating and so went to the GP on cycle 3, got upset and the GP took pity on her and ordered blood tests. Lo and behold though she got pregnant that month! It is hard when the months roll by month after month but try and remember that even if conditions are absolutely perfect, there's still only around 1 in 5/6 chance of conceiving each month. There's a website that tells you exactly what the cumulative chances are each month for your age. Hold on, I will try and find the link.

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php

Though obviously these are just averages.

There's also a video I saw on YouTube a while back about the journey the sperm has to take and they have to overcome so many obstacles to get to the egg! Crazy when you consider the survival of the human race depends on a successful journey..

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_5OvgQW6FG4

You may have seen this before, but it's incredible. Shows how amazing our DC are for beating the odds! Apparently although around 300 million sperm are released each time you DTD, only a few dozen actually even make it to the vicinity of the egg.

Sorry, I cross-posted with a few of you this morning, not ignoring you!

Glad you're feeling a bit more positive Nubian, onwards and upwards!

Onwards and upwards! Thanks for the support. To think I felt so lonely a couple of days ago. Now I can share with people who know what this is like. Don't really think the men in our lives really get it