Thread 30, TTC #1 | Hilda hopefuls are still riding the shag wagon

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.


We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!


Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...


Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Otters I would definitely take up the free counselling. If it's anything like mine though they may be a long waiting list so get yourself on it!

AF here. Can you put me down for 29th July?

Sorry about AF hep 😢🌺🍫🍷

CD10 and I really need DH to snap out of his funk. Bad week to deny him his pizza!!! 😳

Sorry hep. for you.

Did I miss something mouse? Why no pizza for DH?

8 dpo for me but had some fresh red blood this morning and cramps. Wouldn't be surprised if AF arrived early but even if it holds off until Sunday, I'm not wasting any money buying tests and I have none in the house. Think I might have persuaded DH to go for the fertility MOT at create. I want to know if we're wasting our time trying naturally/if there's something causing the bleeding that could be fixed. Someone here did it right? Was it helpful?

Sorry about AF hep

flash I hate being in limbo. Hope it all becomes clear in the next few days. Getting DH a fertility MOT sounds like a good idea

flora good luck for the next step. Where are you having treatment and is it nhs funded ? It's quite daunting isn't it. So much info!

kath hope you're doing ok. It is scary but in my case it helped for me have a plan if I need it.

Welcome queenz sorry to hear about your struggles. When are you starting treatment ? Good luck!

I'm in the waiting room waiting for my colposcopy. Eek! Really hope it's ok

Sorry hep hope you are okay

Flash that must be beyond frustrating I think a fertility MOT is a really good idea. DH had his SA at Create and we got on fine with them.

Fx it all goes well otters

DH and I had another massive row last night. I could tell he was in a foul mood and he was just looking for anything to take it out on. I got home quite happily and he had a massive go at me about the flat saying how untidy and disgusting I had left it. I had left my cup and plate out from my breakfast that morning 🙄 I left the flat and took my book to the pub for a few hours. I work so hard at maintaining an equilibrium and he just knocks it down like a pack of cards.

He has messaged me today to say he's going up north to stay with a friend and I think he has now turned his phone off.

What the actual fuck?

Sorry about AF hep - hope you're ok today 💐

Thinking of you today otters xxx

So sorry about DH issues - sounds like the classic straw that breaks camel's back situation. There's so much pressure and trying to keep emotions in check around the big issues, little things get focused on and blown out of perspective. Really hope it's sorted soon.

The first step is the hardest kath, I've found once it's done, everything else just kind of happens. Go when you're ready and then hopefully everything will fall into place.

Well I did my last two stim injections plus the trigger injection last night - have to be at clinic with DH at 7am tomorrow - here we go!

Good luck otters. Thinking of you.

jam I don't know what to say - how childish of him. Totally agree with pjs sounds like he's just flipped out after an accumulation of things. From what you've said before it sounds like maybe he's the type to bottle everything up until it overflows? Maybe a break from each other will do you both good.

So excited for you pyjamas, fx for tomorrow!

flash sorry about your spotting, but since you get it a lot maybe it isn't a sign of anything in particular? I'm a day behind you at 7dpo and have been feeling really crampy too - keep expecting AF when I go to the loo. If I hadn't ovulated late this time then AF would have been due around now so it could be my shortest ever luteal phase. Only time will tell!

Jam so sorry to hear about the row, I do understand the pressure of TTC takes it's toll on us all at times, but that is really no reason for him to behave in such an antagonistic way. How do you feel about him disappearing like this? Do you think he's trying to get a reaction out of you? Goading you into breaking the equilibrium and letting rip?

Otters good luck for today! FX for you.

Pyjamas I've got everything so tightly crossed for you. You seem to have handled it all really well.

Kathrino how does your DH feel about taking the next step? I can imagine how scary it is but at least you can take it one step at a time. You can go for the consultation and then not take it any further if you don't want to.

Re the fertility MOT, I'm mostly keen to have it for myself, all the blood tests and a hycosy etc. For some reason I assume the problem is with me, although I guess it could be DH, or both of us. He seemed reluctant and said, why not just wait and keep trying, and I had to say quite bluntly "We aren't two healthy 28 year olds anymore, we're a couple who've had one pregnancy, which was ectopic, I'm missing a tube, have irregular menstrual bleeding and we've been trying for more than 10 cycles now with no luck". I think that made him think a bit.

harriet yes I have wondered if it's just a cycle quirk, but it only started the month I had my ectopic. It could just be that the pregnancy messed it up and it's stayed this way. FX for you that that AF doesn't arrive at all.

Sorry flash, explanation needed hahaha 😂

We're trying to eat healthily and make better choices. My DH started a desk job the week I had my MMC and he's put on a bit of weight, so he's gone in a sulk. Plus I put on weight after the MMC too so we both need to make better choices. He now just really wants a pizza. 😂

Hahaha, ok that makes sense. Could you do homemade pizza with lots of veg and stuff on as a healthier alternative?

Hi all, still lurking from time to time to see how you're all doing - sorry for those of you having hard times at the moment and congrats to scandal and kerry (and anyone I've missed)!

Flash just wanted to ask if your doctor/gynae has ever suggested endometriosis? I had similar issues with spotting (around 3 weeks of the month at its worst!) but only developed other symptoms after a couple of years of the spotting - mainly being more painful periods and pain during bowel movements during my period. Although I had some treatment after being diagnosed I still had spotting (just not as much), and FWIW I had bleeding 1-4 DPO the cycle I got my BFP.

Would endometriosis have shown up on an ultrasound or during my laparoscopic surgery do you think Carley?

How far along are you now?

Sorry to hear about AF Hep - hope you are OK.

The fertility MOT sounds like a good idea Flash but I'd also be pushing to have some investigations into the bleeding as its not typical and you shouldn't be being fobbed off.

Really hope you get on OK today Otters - have been thinking about you. I've been referred to our local clinic here in Aberdeen and we are extremely lucky to be in a position where we could privately fund treatment if its required. Just need to wait for the appointment to come around now.

FFS Jam - that is a really very childish response from your DH - unless he is going to have a long and hard think about his behaviour as you 100% did the right thing. He knows how hard this is for you and he should be doing everything in his power of support you through it. Not lose his shit over some breakfast dishes.

Holy crap PJs - I cannot believe how quickly all this happened for you. Good luck!!

Has anyone else ordered Izzy Judd's book? I am a huge, unashamed McFly fan so have a bit of a vested interest but must say that I've found her Facebook Live chats to be really reassuring. My copy arrived yesterday and I've read a few chapters already - not onto the IVF part yet but enjoying it.

Happy Thursday to all. We've nearly made it through another week!

Not on an ultrasound but it's diagnosed via laparoscopy so they possibly would have noticed during your surgery if they had a good look around, but it can apparently be quite hard to spot (my surgeon said it can be missed even when they're specifically looking for it). But certainly if you had widespread or advanced endo they should have seen it, so it's good if they didn't! Unfortunately the only thing that stopped the spotting for me was a dose of Provera high enough to stop ovulation which obviously doesn't work with TTC.

I'm 15 weeks now, typically I even had spotting weeks 7-10ish so an anxious start but so far everything looks ok.

I was prescribed provera but it made me bleed even more and gave me terrible PMS, teenage style acne etc! I will ask about endometriosis next time I see someone though.

So pleased to hear everything is progressing well, despite the early worries.

Positivity Friday tomorrow!

Jamon I am sorry about your DH. Is this his (childish) reaction to the Ttc stress he is experiencing, or do you think something else is behind it?

(... and could someone explain the "Hilda" hopefuls?)

Pyjamas you were right. Straw broke that camels back right there. He is very low and I feel for him as blokes just don't know how to express it. He's seeing the counsellor tomorrow thank god so that should help. I've told him he needs to take responsibility for his own mental health too and put things in place that keep him well. He can't expect this to just happen - which is what he seems to do. I'm being harsh but I think he needs to hear it.

Will catch up properly later argh what a day!

So I had the colposcopy today. It's not an experience I'd like to repeat! Unfortunately he saw high grade cells so I needed treatment. They do LLETZ treatment where they burn off the abnormal cells in your cervix. I got a local anaesthetic but it still hurt. He said to expect discharge for a few weeks. It's still painful and I've been resting today. I now have to wait 6 weeks before I can start ivf so looking at start date of end aug all being well. I still have to wait for pathology results which take 4-6 weeks and that will determine my follow up. I'm now thinking we should plan a holiday for early aug as we need a break and who knows what the ivf journey will be like for us. On the other hand we should save £ for ivf but a last holiday would be nice as well.

jamon sorry to hear about your DH issues but good that he is seeing the counselor tomorrow. Hope it will help. It's so stressful isn't it?

pjs so excited for you! Fingers firmly crossed for tomorrow. Hope it all goes well

flash I think some investigations would be helpful particularly the irregular bleeding

flora hope your appointment comes round quickly. I've not heard of or read the book

Thanks for all the supportive comments. DH is pretty laid back about IVF - his main concern is how it will fit around our planned holidays! We both happy (if that's the right word) that it's the best choice for us, it's just a matter of when we pull the trigger really and not procrastinating as much as we usually do!

Pyjamas, best of luck for tomorrow! I hope it all goes smoothly.

Jam, sorry that DH is behaving like such a dick. Is there other stuff going on with him too at the moment? Hope you're okay

Sorry about AF hep

Mouse, you've totally got me craving pizza now...

Hope it went okay today otters

Flash, I thought about a fertility MOT before we started trying but decided to just see what happened (that worked well...lol). I think, given your history, it absolutely makes sense.

I made the mistake of drinking a couple of glasses of wine last night having forgotten that I'd taken a codeine-based painkiller earlier that day. Today has been like a hangover on steroids...

Oh crap, just wrote a super long message and then lost it :/

Hep, sorry about AF. Hope you're doing okay

Otters, I've been thinking of you today. I hope it all went well.

Pyjamas, best of luck for tomorrow!

Jam, I'm sorry DH is behaving like such a child. It must be so exhausting for you to have to put up with that. Have you got nice plans for the evening / weekend?

Flash, given your history, I think a fertility MOT may be worth the money. I think it's always better to know what you're dealing with and information is power.

Welcome Queen, sorry you've been trying for so long.

Thanks for all the lovely comments re IVF. We're pretty relaxed about it really (DH is mainly concerned about how it fits in with our holiday plans!) but we just need to stop procrastinating and tell the clinic we're ready to go. In the meantime though, I'm dealing with a killer hangover as I forgot I'd taken some codeine yesterday and then had a couple of glasses of wine. I think it's nearly bedtime for me!

Oh bollocks, now I look like an idiot for posting twice! Sorry about that!

Lol Kath - definitely think it's bedtime for you!

Oh otters that was exactly what you didn't need. But you have a plan now and definitely use the break from TTC to enjoy a holiday - you don't have to go anywhere super expensive. Just enjoy some eating and drinking and alone time with your DH.

Hope you're ok Jam

The sodding rain is massively interfering with my good mood