Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

scandal you sound incredibly strong - hope you're doing OK, and welcome back xx

rainbow good for you for taking the high road, though can see why it hurts

Oh skipper - hugs; so sorry you're struggling - sounds like there's a bit of hope if you're not ready for the adoption route yet? I can't offer great words of advice, just that you've been so strong and great at being positive to us all since I've been here the past few months, so I know you can push through - take care of yourself

Sorry you're struggling Skipper. Sorry if you've mentioned before but would you try/be eligible for some kind of assisted conception before going down the adoption route?

I'm so sorry that so many of you are having particularly tough times at the moment. Hugs to you, skip and I'm so sorry for your loss, scandal.

Unfortunately it's bad news for me too. After a beautiful, perfect progression for a week yesterday's test looked lighter and today (5+1) it has faded away to clearly, obviously lighter. Breast pain entirely disappeared overnight. I happened to have a GPs appointment first thing this morning (I was going to ask to be referred for an early reassurance scan) - when I told him what had happened at first he started saying that he understood why I was anxious but hopefully all fine, etc. Then I showed him the tests and it was obvious he knew I was right. We agreed that he'll call me in a week and if (I could see him start to say when) I'm bleeding by then he'll refer me on to recurrent miscarriage as this is number three. If I'm not bleeding I'll go for a scan, but I think I have to accept this one's not a goer.

So sorry to hear your news Lisa. I know there's nothing anyone can say to make it any better at this point, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're all here for you.

Oh Lisa. I'm so so so sorry. Life can be so cruel and unfair. You do not deserve this and I'm sure you would be an incredible mum.

All the hugs

Sorry to hear your news Lisa. Awful thing to go through!

Has anyone tried pre seed?

Oh lisa I'm so sorry. It is just awful. We are all here for you.

I can recommend my private consultant if you're interested once you're feeling better. People tried to tell me it was just bad luck, but I think once you've had 3 in a row that becomes less likely and having answers has really helped me. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry lisa that's so awful. I'm glad it sounded like you saw understanding doctor who was ready to refer if needed. Take care, xx

Thanks so much for all the kind messages - I really appreciate it. Thanks, harriet - I think we're going to see how long it'll take us to get an appointment with the RMC with the NHS and then decide whether or not to go private. I know what you mean about wanting answers: it feels like there's a real pattern to these, and that it must mean something is going wrong at a particular point in the process. I'm glad you're feeling like your diagnosis has helped you, as I know you had (understandably) very mixed feelings when you first saw your consultant.

Yes, I do feel really lucky to have a good GP surgery, quiet (it's also relatively easy to get appointments). I've seen two different doctors there about this and both have taken it very seriously and been very sympathetic. I know that not everyone's so lucky.

Hi lisa that's a good idea to wait and see. My NHS appointment is with my local hospital this week, so 6 weeks after I had the MVA which I don't think is too bad, but I think it varies lots as I've seen people on the mc boards who have had to wait 12 weeks for an appointment and another 12 weeks for test results. Also as you know the NHS don't test for NK cells which I suspected I had. It so depends on you though - take all the time you need. It's great that it seems like you've got a supportive GP - mine is awful!

Our vague plan (DH is off work this week - he's a teacher - and I am very unproductively working from home today, so we've been talking it all through endlessly) is to see how soon an NHS appointment comes through and then either a) decide it's too long and go straight to private or b) have the NHS tests and if they show nothing pay for more extensive tests privately. I really have no suspicions about what could be wrong, just a strong feeling something is: I'm generally in good health, have pretty regular cycles and periods (no short luteal phase or anything like that). It does seem odd that it took me six months to start conceiving but now I seem to be finding it easy - our timing was really bad this month, and this is now three conceptions in a row - but I have no idea what that could mean! I had my thyroid tested after mc2 so I know everything's fine there. It's tough because I think going private might really eat into our 'baby fund' savings which might make things tough (I'm on a fixed-term contract, so I worry a bit about our financial situation in general), but then a baby fund but no baby is no good to us either!

Yep that sounds like a good plan. I had a strong suspicion it was NK cells for me as I already have a thyroid problem. The NHS don't test for those but they do test for all the blood clotting issues and normal blood function tests which were about £1500 of the £2.5k I paid so if you can wait for those on the NHS then that's great. Re quick conceptions - it might just be the old chestnut that you are more fertile after a mc? Having suggested hyperfertility to me at my first appt, my consultant said he didn't think that was an issue for me after all and it was just luck/my age (I'm 30 which he described as young!) that meant I was fortunate to conceive quickly. How old are you?

Lisa - when you say your thyroid was fine, do you remember the number?

Oh ladies I was doing so well with my period coming up NOT losing my mind and googling random symptoms and now it's all gone out of the window 😥

I have been getting light cramps for a few days but ignoring them but now I'm getting backache (don't normally get before period) and today some brown pink mucus (never had that before). Plus a huge spot and of course someone on the internet got a huge spot and they were pregnant. Jesus fucking Christ.

Hi. Sorry been offline for a while. Gosh so much to catch up on!
Sorry to those who got AF and been feeling down
lisa sorry to hear your news. Was really hoping it would be a sticky bean this time. Glad you can talk it through with your DH and come up with a plan
scandal sorry to hear about your story. Sounds really traumatic. Glad you seem positive about it and onwards to the next cycle !
sk1pper sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. As flash said is assisted conception an option?
jam can you please put me down for June 3rd 🤞
Sorry if I've missed others but just so much to catch up on. I've got some not so great news too. We went to see our consultant last week. Had 3 cycles of clomid (up to top dose of 150mg) with no success. He doesn't think further cycles will help and suggested ivf particularly as my AMH is low so time is of the essence. However there is no nhs funding where we live (moving is not an option and also doesn't help as you have to be resident for 2 years I think) so we have to self fund. I've managed to persuade/twist his arm to prescribe 1 more cycle of clomid whilst we research ivf as didn't want to have a cycle doing nothing. So just waiting for AF whilst desperately hoping it doesn't arrive and that this is the miracle BFP. It's cycle 17 so utterly depressing. Just can't face looking up ivf options yet but will have to otherwise we will waste more time.

Oh Otters I'm so sorry to hear there's no funding in your area. That is terrible.

What region do you live in?

Hi all, ive been a bit quiet on this thread, having a mega busy time at home.
So sorry lisa but you do seem to be dealing with it really well, I hope you get some answers soon.

I think I'm in tww now. Think I ovulated yesterday but felt a cold coming on last night and this mornings temperature was a whole degree higher than a normal post ov temp so it's completely masked my rise annoyingly.
Had parents up for a day on Sunday and whilst I was out on errands and my DH was alone with my mum he told her about our problems (I'm not very comfortable talking about that sort of thing to my mum but he's fine with it! !). I knew she'd taken a while with me but it was actually 4 years

Skipper sorry you're feeling so despondent. What are your next NHS steps? DH and I have talked about adoption too, but before even TTC. Perhaps you could explore it but keep trying too? Are you taking clomid again this cycle?

Lisa I'm so sorry to hear that, you must be numb. I'm glad you have a doctor appointment in already and can start finding out what's going wrong 💐💐💐

Rainbow I use pressed sometimes I like it. Can kill the mood so try a stealth application beforehand

Hello winging glad you're still with us - we'll not glad you're still TTC but you know what I mean. That's sweet your DH felt he could talk to your mum. I hope she's supportive towards you both. I don't think it makes any difference how long your parents took by the way - I'm one of 4 and we were all unplanned. Mum found out a week before her wedding day she was pregnant 🙄

I think I mentioned on another thread otters but it's worth exploring European clinics they are significantly cheaper. There is also Egg sharing - again not for everyone but can be a way to get cheap IVF.

Kerry it's absolutely impossible to not find symptoms! Try and go along with it as much as you can. Fingers massively crossed

Flash - I am eligible for two rounds of IVF but I'm feeling quite anxious about the whole process. I'm not one of these people who thinks modern medicine is an affront to nature, I'm all for cracking out the paracetamol when my period hits home, but IVF just feels so intrusive and unnatural. I respect anyone who decides to go through with IVF, hand on heart I do, but I'm just not sure if its for me.

Lisa - I was very, very sad to read your news. I'm always hopeful for other people and you were no exception, sometimes bodies just have a way of figuring something out but seems like its not your time again. I think reading your piece has made me realise that I need to stop moping about my own troubles, I can't imagine how you are feeling at this news. I hope you are getting all the support you need.

Kerry - STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE. Seriously, you could cough up a fur-ball and Google would tell you you're pregnant. Fx for you though!

Otters - Sorry your Clomid cycles weren't successful. I don't know if you already know this, apologies if you do, but many have said that IVF abroad is much cheaper than here. I'm sure someone will be able to advise which clinics to use, if not here then definitely on the infertility boards.

Jam - I've stopped taking the Clomid, I'm skipping a cycle so that it doesn't delay my ovulation. I've stopped taking everything actually, all my supplements except Pregnacare too. I just want a break :(

Thank you again for all these lovely, supportive messages. It hasn't been the best day but I'll be ok - feeling much calmer than I would have predicted about the whole thing.

otters I'm so sorry. There's no IVF where I live too - it seems so ridiculously unfair that it varies so much by region when we all pay the same taxes.

sk1pper Thank you for the kind words, but I don't think you should feel guilty about being upset about your own situation. I don't think trying long-term is any easier than having early losses (I think losing late must be a very different matter, but I wouldn't know). We're all on difficult journeys to our babies here, one way or another.

winging Don't worry too much about your mum - these things really don't seem to follow on quite like that. My mum's journey to having me was quite different to mine so far. I have a friend whose mum took 5+ years to have her (including fertility treatment, though presumably not as advanced as today's), and the same for her little sister. The friend got pregnant while taking the pill.

harriet I'm 29 (well, 30 in two months). You're right, it could well be that I am more fertile each time because of the mc I've just had. I guess we'll be taking a while off now - you were advised not to TTC while having tests, right?

kerry I wasn't given a number, just told that it all looked normal. To be honest I didn't question it - the thyroid test was my GP's suggestion after mc2 (I told you she was good!) and I thought it was pretty unlikely to show anything as I wouldn't particularly say that I have any of the symptoms of either an over or an underactive thyroid.

I remember you saying that before about IVF skipper. That's absolutely fair enough, it is invasive and emotionally draining by the sounds of it - plus there is no guarantee of success. I have to keep reminding myself of this as sometimes it feels like the big magic baby button to push, which it clearly isn't.

I didn't realise clomid on consecutive cycles could delay ovulation. Is it recommended to take a break?

I'm so sorry Lisa, life seems so unfair. Thinking of you and your DH

Lovely sk1pper, I know how you feel about just wanting a break from it all. It's so emotionally draining to go through it month after month when there's no guarantee of success. Sending you lots of love

Otters, that seems so shit re IVF funding. The postcode lottery drives me bonkers. As Jam says, there are some options which are cheaper like going abroad but still, you shouldn't have to be in that position in the first place.

Lisa - id ask what it was if I were you. The 'normal' levels the NHS works to are very very broad. If it's higher, it's definitely worth you knowing about.

Thanks Jam and Sk1pper I feel like SOMETHING finds a way to drag you back in every month. It makes me sad because I know it's not real yet it's new stuff to take up head space 😑

Alexia how are you doing? Hope you're okay ❤️

Jam - I've read that Clomid can throw ovulation back a few days, it certainly did for my first try. The only reason that will bother me this cycle, is because of the timing of AF around my wedding... I know it's not a big deal but the first two days of AF are hell for me and I want to avoid that situation if at all possible.

Also Jam - the big magic baby button 😂