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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying to conceive...8

696 replies

Azure · 06/07/2004 15:48

Come and join me in this new thread. I want a least one graduate per week and no ttcing to take longer than two months for everyone here!!

OP posts:
logic · 05/08/2004 14:29

Can I join in?
Been ttc for 2 and a half months and it's driving me mad.
I am not a patient person and as I conceived in just 2 weeks with ds, I expected it to happen just as fast this time. Obviously not...

Ok, ok,I know that 2 months is nothing in real terms...but it better hurry up!

I am finding it a bit weird that I can happily tell you lot about ttc but I wouldn't dare mention it to anyone in rl - I even avoid the subject with my antenatal friends!

xoz · 05/08/2004 14:51

Welcome Logic.
You've joined a great thread

Original poster
Azure · 05/08/2004 14:58

Welcome Logic and best of luck!

OP posts:
logic · 05/08/2004 15:11

Thank you for the welcome.

What I really want from this is to be reassured that I am not the only woman doing a pg test every Saturday and then moping under the duvet for half a day because it's neg and leaving poor, puzzled dh to entertain ds...if I am the only one doing this then please nod and smile anyway

Perhaps in future, I will mope on here instead!

Piffleoffagus · 05/08/2004 15:16

I'm a bit the same as you logic conceived ds and dd within hours of deciding (one (ds) of not deciding and being on the pill but that's another story)
So imagine my frustration this time when I am thwarted 8 mths running!
Patient, not I!

logic · 05/08/2004 15:25

Hi Piffleoffagus,

8 months

Weird isn't it? The bit that I can't stand is the lack of control over the whole thing. My dh is way too reasonable for his own good and fully expects to take a year to conceive.

How are you coping with the waiting? Are you a SAHM too?

katierocket · 05/08/2004 15:55

tania 2 - thanks, I think he definitley feels like a sperm machine at the moment

logic - I've only been trying 3 months but it feels ages. Oh well, roll on next month.

Piffleoffagus · 05/08/2004 19:35

Yes I am SAHM one ds aged 10 and one dd aged 21 mths.
Maybe this month ...

Seabird · 05/08/2004 20:28

Tania2 - is it your b'day on the 8th? If so mine too We're leaving dd with my mum & going to a nice hotel for the night. I don't mind not drinking - just hoping m/s hasn't started...

Runtus - still feeling fine at the mo - anticipating that changing about half way through next week if last time's anything to go by!

good luck to everyone coming up to end of cycles+++++

bluestar · 05/08/2004 21:15

7DPO for me and this month I have something else to focus on in terms of having to find a job in 3 weeks before I am redundant. Hoping that I can get some positive news before then. A week today for testing although I always spot early so I will know by weekend if it is to be or not.

Good luck to those nearing the end of their cycle.

Tania2 · 05/08/2004 23:04

welcome logic, hopefully you wont be on this thread for long (i mean that in a nice way) been ttc for 7 months now.(iam from Australia so that will be why i post at unusual times) You will get plenty of support and advice here.
Spotting again this morning .
seabird my birthday is on the 15th. Sounds like a lovely idea what your doing for your b'day. we did that a couple of months ago is was so stress releaving had a really great time. If iam not around my pc on weekend have a wonderful birthday

logic · 05/08/2004 23:12

Hi Tania2 - I'm only alone at my PC at this time of night because I am really depressed at the moment

I was coping really well but earlier I found out that yet another member of my antenatal group is pg. Out of 11 of us, two have already had 2nd babies and 3 are now pg.

I know it's silly but I am feeling so left out. I am tempted to stop meeting up with them all but that would be unfair on ds. I really don't know what to do.

Tania2 · 06/08/2004 02:12

Oh you poor thing logic, your proberly not awake now sorry I went out after i posted my msg. I know how you feel though I still meet with 2 girls from my antenatal. one fell pg without trying and has a 17 month gap between them. Her dd1 is 1 week older than my ds (20mths) and had her ds2 in april. but has told me that the gap is too small and had made it hard. the other girl is pg now her ds is one week younger than mine she feel pg straight away but had m/c in december but is now pg again and due in dec. I am worried that if i dont fall pg soon that i will feel left out. Is everyone trying in your group. since there are 11 of you, you might find that someone else is feeling the same way. do they know that your ttc? dont stop meeting with them cause it may make you feel more alone. Just keep telling yourself that the longer it takes to get pg the more presious time you have with ds. How old is he?

tex111 · 06/08/2004 07:18

Tania2 and Logic, I know just how you feel. All of my friends have had second children (or are being induced this morning!). And sometimes I feel left out too. Two kids (especially when one is a small baby) is so different from one. I had so many plans for this summer like taking DS to museums, the seaside, picking strawberries, etc and had hoped that we could get some friends together and go, but that just doesn't happen. Doing things like that is just too much work with 2 kids so DS and I end up going alone. It's fine but it does make me a little sad to feel that separation.

On the other side of that, I don't want to be the only one still pushing a pram when the others are off doing fun things! I need to get pg soon!

katierocket · 06/08/2004 07:49

logic - I'm in the same boat too- out of our group of 5 friends (from post natal group) I am the only one without a second child. I too considered stopping meeting them for a while but thought it was unfair on DS who loves seeing his friends. It's hard though as all they seem to talk about is babies.

Tania2 · 06/08/2004 09:59

Katierocket,logic & tex111 I know you have proberly mentioned it b4 but how old are your kids? what do you think a good age gap would be? We just need to keep reminding ourselves how we can spend presious time with our first children. then once the 2nd comes along we might be able to do the same activities and spend presious one on one time with them as ds/dd1 would be at kinder or school. My MIL had 5 yrs gap (not by choice had several m/c late term) said that she thought i was great being able to have that one on one time with both of her boys.

logic · 06/08/2004 09:59

Thanks for the support!

I am feeling a bit more positive this morning. Things always seem worse at night don't they?

Tania2 - ds is 23 months. I haven't told the antenatal group that we are ttc but they have guessed judging from the occasional teasing comment. We meet up about once a week and I'm supposed to be seeing them this afternoon. Ds deserves to go and see his friends so I think I will have to go and glue a smile to my face

I am going to concentrate on appreciating this time with ds who is being incredibly sweet atm.

logic · 06/08/2004 10:12

To be honest, we decided that we wanted a 2.5 year gap minimum as it would be nice to have ds potty trained first so that we don't have two in nappies but we have also seen people with a smaller gap struggle.

My MIL had a 5 year gap too and it was too much really because her two sons don't have much in common. They didn't even bother sending Christmas cards to each other until I started going out with dh and insisted! Dh describes them as two only children. Maybe it's because they are boys though.

Tania2 · 06/08/2004 10:21

I agree that 5 yrs is too much. my dh and his brother aren't really friends. they own a business and work together which can cause problems too. When i found out i was pg and had told my SIL she was raped that her 2 boys would have a cousin but do you think we see them much and they only live 10min down the road. but that could be just them. my sister and i have 4 yrs and give it we nearly killed each other growing up (but i think most sisters do) but now we are truly best friends. but then again that could be a girl thing. 3 yrs is the biggest gap that we want.

katierocket · 06/08/2004 10:23

my ds is 3 in oct so minimum gap would be 3 and half years but maybe it will be more like 4 years. I do worry about a large gap but I do think that personality is much more important. You can be very close in age and still not get on with a sibling.
Tania2 - i agree that it is good to have a lot of quality time with first one although I think DS would like to have a sister or a brother now.

logic - yes, things do seem worse at night!

I should add that I know how lucky I am having one already. I know there are lots of people TTC number 1.

Piffleoffagus · 06/08/2004 10:26

My ds is 10 and my dd is 21 mths, he is such a huge help and is a really kind and sweet big brother, although this time we would like a max of 3 yr age gap, between dd and another baby (another girl, why do I already suspect that it would be a girl? If I ever get there that is!!!)
My brothers and I are me eldest at 33, db1 is 32 and db2 is 26
Guess which one we're all closest too?
Yep the littlest!

tex111 · 06/08/2004 10:52

I remember reading that 2 years and 9 months is the 'optimum' gap. I think that's based on attention given to each child, the chances that they'll play together and remain friends and ease on the parents. Oh well, nice if it works out that way but you just can't plan these things very easily.

I'm the oldest and I remember what it was like when my DB was born. I wanted to stay an only child! There are four years between us and we're not very close but there are NINE years between me and my sister and we're very close, so you never know.

I have a friend whose babies are 13 months apart and it looks like very hard work. Another friend had her second baby just before her first baby's second birthday and she said it was hell dealing with so many nappies, a newborn and the terrible twos. I think in the long run it's nice having them fairly close (less than 4 years, say). They can play together and it gets the hard work of the baby stage over all at once. I look forward to the day when I don't have to worry about car seats, nappies, bottles, etc.

Tania2 · 06/08/2004 10:56

There are so many pros and cons. Just need to take whatever the hand we are delt. I agree katierocket its personality that can make a huge difference.
There's a few of us that AF is due this weekend had anyone tested yet? I have made sure i dont have any in the house so i dont get tempted. Still spotting in the mornings though. could i still be pg? Feeling tired today had headaches for the past few days. Boobs not sore. cant remember what i was like at this time with ds didn't find out i was pg till i was 7 weeks still got a light period. does everyone get signs of pg b4 af due?

Original poster
Azure · 06/08/2004 11:04

I get very depressed thinking about the age gap - DS is 3 at the end of the month. Try not to give yourself any targets, e.g. pregnant by a certain date, as it can be a cause of additional stress and disappointment if things just don't turn out that way. As Tania2 says, we just have to take whatever card we're dealt.

OP posts:
Original poster
Azure · 06/08/2004 11:05

ShouldknowbyFriday - it's Friday. Do you know?

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