Let's get this shaggathon on the road! We are breaking out the buzzy friends, lubeing up our fanjo's and prepping the men! Let's make a baby the old fashioned way! It's only f**king JS'ing 63!

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 62 is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2796204-Lights-twinkle-its-icy-cold-outside-tis-the-season-of-Yuletide-come-and-join-us-yes-you-For-this-is-JS62?msgid=68412463#68412463" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48?pg=16" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Just I didn't know about progesterone supplements, does the doctor prescribe them?
I would assume I am ovulating as I've done the clearblue test today and it's come back with the old peak fertility smiley face but I don't know if they're accurate for people not producing enough progesterone.
My cycles were always 28 days until 4 months ago, then it was 31 days, 33 and last was 35. I had the test on day 21 as suggested. I guess it's hard to know if the test was taken too soon or too late because of my messed up cycles and ovulation tests are all of the shop, or if actually I do have low progesterone and that's the cause of my recent bout of messed up cycles, it would certainly explain it as I've had 28 day cycles my entire life before this.
I was a tad emotional this morning, I'm just such a chilled person and assumed everything would be normal and we were just taking a bit longer than usual and I was absolutely convinced there'd be nothing wrong with either of us it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I have no told DP, after I got home and he asked how the doctors went (I was hoping he'd forget, he always forgets) I may have ran off crying and locked myself in the bathroom for about 30 minutes
To summarise, TTC has turned me into a crazy nutter.

You need to share it with your DP. Don't shoulder it all yourself. I don't know if your GP will prescribe as they might want to refer you to a fertility clinic. You could get a private prescription.
Try and remember though that one bad result doesn't actually mean anything. At the very least you need one more test to see if it was just an anovulatory month which is normal. I would ask for a repeat test.

Just I have told him now. He's being super relaxed and "it'll be alright" about it and I'm panicking like a mad woman.. we've switched our usual roles.
We've been TTC for about 18 months now, so it's hard to believe that it could be anything else.
Docs referring us over to the fertility team anyway, but she said they're unlikely to accept me until DP has had his sperm analysis at the end of July.

Be prepared that they won't do ivf/iui on the NHS as you have a child. I think they will still do tests though. July isn't far away. If you want it done sooner get a private test? About £70.

Glad you have told him. You have to support each other

Just yeah I know, fortunately DP has some inheritance saved back but it would be a decision between baby or more suitable house for us all I hope it doesn't come to the need for IVF.
He's being a total trooper about this, I wouldn't blame him if he decided to leave. He desperately wants a child (as do I) and he's young and pretty sexy, he could find someone else easily.
My Doc recommend that I call up and tell them the situation and ask them to do it sooner, she knows me quite well, I can be very "persuasive"

alletrix do you know what your actual level of progesterone was? And have you had a period since the blood test was taken - if so how many days later?

The blood test needs to be done 7 days before your period starts and it sounds like yours was probably done 14 days before (if it was on day 21 of a 35 day cycle). If that's right, the blood test would be expected to show low progesterone as you wouldn't have actually ovulated yet (or it would have been taken around the day you ovulated, before the levels have a chance to rise). A high progesterone before you ovulate is also an issue, so a low progesterone at this point could actually be completely healthy.

If your cycles are irregular, the best thing to do is to keep having sex as regularly as you can throughout your cycle while you carry on having tests to find out if there's an issue. It's so easy to miss your fertile week if you pay too much attention to the various signs that it's the right time.

No matter what, having difficulty getting pregnant is not your fault.

just lovely to hear from you! Hope the stims are growing some juicylicious follicles for you!

Sofie she didn't tell me and I didn't think to ask, there was lots of numbers on the screen and I did see a 16 so that might've been it?
Blood tests were actually done on day 20 as day 21 fell on a Saturday so they did it the day before.
I think I'll ask for another test.
I would be inclined to agree with you if I hadn't had such irregular cycles the last 4 months it would all make sense as I know that's a symptom and nothing else has changed diet or lifestyle wise that might cause that.
Don't worry, we'll continue romping like rabbits

If your cycle has been getting longer then it's likely that you are ovulating late (assuming you are ovulating) and bloods done on day 21 of your cycle may be as little as 1-2dpo. I would use OPKs next cycle and get the bloods done 7-8 days after a positive.

Alletrix are you temping? I ov late in my cycle and didn't realise till I tried tempimg.

Oh and flash been there done that but it is true! The month I conceived DD I knew I wasn't pg so painted the bathroom with gloss paint and had 2 beers.... next day? Bfp! Whoops!

alletrix I had my progesterone checked earlier this year and it was low (22). I was also having really irregular periods (between 21 and 95 days) and started Ttc nearly 2 years ago. My dh's sperm analysis was fine. This cycle, my period was getting later and later, I kept getting bfns and I felt like it was never going to happen and it was all my fault, but we kept shagging and 2 weeks ago I got a bfp! So it can happen, even when it feels like it's hopeless! (just hoping and praying it sticks now!)

Tri I use OPK's and get a peak at CD12 usually (I'm CD12 today as well and had my peak on the OPK)
Do you know if I'd still get a positive OPK even if I did have ovulation/progesterone issues?
Johnny I've not tried temping, I was trying to avoid become too obsessed with TTC but I guess peeing on about 15 sticks a month has already taken me into that group. I'll try it next month I think

Sofie 95 days!!! But congratulations! I love hearing positive stories like that and I wish you all the luck in the world

You can have a peak and then not ovulate. Someone a few pages back said they got three peaks before they ovulated one cycle.

Thanks alletrix

Oh gosh. I just feel like giving up
But thank you all for your help, I feel much calmer now and would've been sat googling obsessively the entire day if it hadn't been for you lovely people

6po...... is craving white carbs an early symptom???? Or is that just cos I got no sleep last night.......

Two week wait = two week torture!!

Boooooo hisssss just

I forgot to mention I'm also here to heckle

It's behind you country

If craving white carbs is a symptom then I've been pregnant for about 33 years

Ditto elbi

I'm now approx 14dpo but not due AF until about Wednesday (long cycle)... Can I test yet? Would it be anti-Fred?? To be honest I'm not massively hopeful as I think we shagged too early and not enough (mostly due to DH injuring himself in the required area....) but am still keen to know!

I have a relatively long LP as well and still got my BFP at 12 dpo. I'd consider testing.