Thread 28, TTC #1 | We may be hormonal giraffes but we don't eat no low fat humous

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

I know this sounds odd, but would your DH consider something like yoga Alexia? Good for the body and the mind?

Or maybe hypnosis? If he has a mental block somehow that he can't get past?

Jam - I think that's a fairly good AMH score for your age. The range is about 6 - 50 and I don't think it has any impact on the chances of you getting pregnant does it? It's more an indicator of when you're likely to go into the menopause and I don't think you need to worry at all with that kind of score (for context, my AMH is very high but all it means is that I'll be more fertile for a year or two longer than average(when I don't plan to get pregnant anyway!)).

I also think the Clomid thing probably depends a bit on your view re IVF. We're basically not going to focus on TTC over the summer and just head down the IVF route in the autumn - aside from the money, we don't see it as a very big deal - so I'm not inclined to throw everything at it over the next few months to try and prevent it if you see what I mean. I'd rather just focus on being in the best physical / mental shape for IVF than cause myself the additional stress of wondering if I've done enough. It's a personal choice though (and I totally reserve the right to change my mind next time FW comes round!)

Sorry, cross posted with you Alexia. Can he get the bloods done privately to speed it up? I always think it's good to move on these things when you've built up some momentum!

I was tempted to go straight for IVF fter the ectopic as my surgeon said that is has good success with people who are at risk of ectopics as it bypasses the tubes (not to say that there aren't risks of ectopics with IVF as there are) and I was terrified of having another one.

I hadn't thought of that Flash. I just asked him and he said he used to do Yoga at school (he's not English). I think he'd have to do it from home (YouTube) though as I'm not sure where he'd find the time for classes. It would be good for him and also some form of therapy. He suffered a lot as a child with death / grief and also child abuse by a female tutor. None of which he's had professional help with because he never told his mum for fear of hurting her (when he was old enough to realise what was happening). Thankfully none of this affects his day to day life; he's very calm, kind, loving and happy but I'm sure this is why he has always had a lower drive than normal. Not sure why it's changed so much in the last few months though.

Kathrino I'd love to but I think we'll just wait because he seemed to like this Dr, and it'll be out of the way before next fertile window.

I think your plan for the summer sounds great btw! A mental break will be great before the IVF slog starts.

Oh Alexia that's so sad. And sad he's never felt able to get help. Well perhaps taking it up again will help him get in touch with himself and his body, and that may help. I always feel very relaxed and peaceful but energised after yoga.

Perhaps the thought of having a child makes him afraid that he won't be able to protect them from the kind of things that happened to him and those thoughts have come to the fore more the longer you've been trying?

All armchair psychology of course, but I know I think a lot more about the things I've been through in my life and how I could make things different for my child since I started TTC.

I think not getting help is mostly to do with the country he grew up in, those services just weren't available to him. Once his dad and paternal grandparents died in a tragic car crash when he was 9 his whole world changed. He was the oldest son and didn't feel like he could show his emotions properly, so he shut down. He had to be 'brave'. All whilst studying hard at school which is very important there, and suffering sexual abuse from that awful female tutor aged 3-14. It's grim, I don't understand how he's so strong now! I wouldn't be. He was from a rich family so at least he didn't suffer from poverty after his family was ripped apart.

Since we've been together he's opened up and is much more vocal and comfortable with saying how he feels but that wasn't always the case. His relationship with his mum is much more open now too - they actually talk about us TTC which is a huge thing! She's lovely and was widowed twice before she was 48

I don't think he is scared to be a parent although like you said, there's things we would implement to ensure our child's safety. I think it's more performance anxiety and fear of not conceiving and 'failing' each cycle. Since he can't remember what it's like to have a dad or a proper family he's desperate to be parent. He's also 31 (I'm 26) so he's been 'waiting' for me to be ready since I was 18.

flash Nobody expects the spanish inquisition ......

jam i've been good with my running (well, until this week. pms is making me curl up under a blanket instead), and my crochet is coming along.

I am so looking forward to weekends away! I have a city break with some female friends soon, and then my birthday trip with OH. I really need it. We didn't go anywhere for easter, but it was catching up on house jobs ....... I need a holiday !

your poor OH alexia

Haha Hep! I love MP!

The running is what gets me through Hep. I got a pb a few weeks ago at park run 28.58! I was so proud. Tuesday ran home 2 miles and thought I was going to die. But I always have less energy around AF time. Another one today and hope it's better than Tuesday.

flash i'm in the last week of the c25k.... so close ..... ran 28 minutes.... (but at 9.6 km/hr - on treadmill)

just no energy at the moment. Will try to go after work tomorrow.

Do you recommend c25k hep? I'm not much of a runner (although DH is) but I really need to get back into it. I've done a few 5ks in my time but not for a couple of years. I'd like to get back to that though.

Oh well done. That's great! Don't worry about this week, just do what you can. I often find if I have a week off, I'm suddenly much quicker/find it easier the nex time out. I think the recovery sort of catches up with you.

kathrino
yes i do ! its only meant to take 9 week, but i have no will power !

I started it end of september (mental and physical recovery post mc), fallen off the wagon many times since then but have kept plodding at it, so should finish it next week.

it starts really gentle, and if you find it too easy, or too hard, you can always repeat a week, or accelerate it. There are free apps to use. I recommend c25kby zenlabs (for android). You can listen to your own music, which it fades in order to give you the "run now" or "walk now" prompts. I need music .... (though have experimented with the zombie app - you run away from zombies)

I must win the award for taking the longest to finish it ! If you have run before, you might want to consider starting at week2 or 3 depending on how fit you are.

I feel physically so much better and fitter than I when i started.

I have no will power either so I find that reassuring hep! Huge congrats on your achievement on getting so far, it's a real inspiration to see you've kept on going! I'm going to download some of the apps and plan my weekend of walking/running (sadly I'm in Belfast at the moment for work and, obviously, didn't bring anything approaching running kit with me!).

Hey ladies! Pretty sure I'm ovulating today as I'm exhausted. Hope everyone is having a good evening.

I think I'll start temping Alexia- do you think it matters when in your cycle you start? Maybe after my period?

Hi from Belfast kathrino 👋
Thanks for the info about my blood results everyone!
Yous are inspiring me to get back in to running, I've started c25k several times but never finished it...

Hello everyone

I hope everyone is well, I have been thinking about you all a lot.

Firstly, apologies for disappearing. To cut a very long story short, we finally managed to convince my dad to see the doctor, everything moved very quickly from there and unfortunately he has been diagnosed with cancer. My bleeding/spotting continued (probably not helped much by stress) and in order not to upset my mum and dad more OH and I decided to keep it to ourselves until we could get some definitive answers what was going on. And one point I had to make excuses and leave my Dad at day surgery for his biopsy to sneak round to the other side of the hospital and have an early scan! Things have been rather chaotic to say the least! Anyway, today I had my 12 wks scan I am pleased to say it looks like I have came through the worst and seen a lovely wriggly little bean dancing away on the screen. I have been moved forward a few days they date me at 12 wks 6 days. I have checked my app if that's correct it looks like I conceived on a day I had a negative OPK. But interestingly that night we used pressed which I hadn't used for ages, and afterwards I lay with a pillow under my hips for a while too. Don't know if that information helps any?

Although I haven't posted for a while I have been truly willing you all BFPS and hope that it's just around the corner for you all. I have also found out that good friends of ours have just found out they are expecting after a long and painlful full journey ttc. 3nd round IVF has worked for them after a mc from IUI and many many attempts. They had practically given up and suffered heavily emotionally and physically but it just goes to show happy endings are possible. (Hope this is helpful and not incentive I find when I hear about couples coming through the other side it helped keep me upbeat).

I just wanted to give you all and update, hope that's OK. I shall try and keep more up to date and hope to hear more good news from you all soon xx

Peaches! So lovely to hear from you although I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure he's being well looked after and isn't finding any treatment he's having too bad. What a time you must have had of it. I'm so, so, so happy that everything is going well with the pregnancy though and you got to see the little bean today

Thank you kathrino. Although things have been chaotic and stressful I cant complain in terms of how amazing the local hospitals have been in getting things going. Within a week of being hospitalised he had a definite diagnosis, 3 weeks later was starting treatment. I know we complain at times but its really has proved to me how vital and great our NHS is. Are you in Belfast for business or pleasure? Hope its a good trip either way

Oh my goodness Peaches I've been thinking about you loads! I'm so sorry to hear about your dad but I'm so pleased to read your pregnancy is going well! How amazing About the EDD I think it's unlikely you conceived before a positive OPK, I'm sure you just have a lovely healthy baby in there who's just measuring ahead. My friend's DD was brought a week forward at her 12 week scan, which would have meant she conceived on CD5 which was impossible as she was temping and doing opks. Good luck with everything and I hope your dad beats this evil disease. So nice to hear from you xx

Kerry I'd start when af arrives. Main thing is to sleep well and temp at the same time each day (or within an hour of your usual temp time, after solid sleep). Always here if you have questions.

Thank you Alexia - I knew you'd be the font of al knowledge on this! I almost always sleep soundly so should be okay.

By the way- very glad your OH went to the Drs - hopefully starting to talk about it will help.

Peaches - so happy the 12 week scan showed all is well ❤️

Yeh Alexia I still maintain I conceived on my fuck it day/night out a few days later, only logical time it could be going on all my information. Made me giggle though. At my earlier scan they pulled me back several days which again was quite impossible. So between my two scans they have moved me a whole week! Still working on my own dates tbh.

Thank you kerry its a big relief!