Thread 28, TTC #1 | We may be hormonal giraffes but we don't eat no low fat humous

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Harriet

Jam - that definitely is the surge, no question. You should of ovulated today or maybe tomorrow, wahooo! :)

Alexia - have I missed something important? Why have you not HS since last fertile window? Sorry if I have...

skipper well, dh has never been the horniest person in the world but we'd always do what we needed to in FW and then whenever we felt like. In my Jan cycle we BD'd 5 days in a row! Since then... so Feb, March and now April we've hardly had any sex. It's like he's broken, he just can't get hard and has no drive. He must have either an issue internally or it's psychological. It's just so bizarre and very upsetting.

The last two fertile windows we've only managed 1-2 gos and it's been horrifically stressful. It's just not good enough. We haven't HS since last FW because we were busy, tired, I couldn't be bothered, he didn't instigate either. Then af arrived. I was really ready after af and kept mentioning it but it just hasn't happened. I've tried! Now it's at that desperate / panic stage again. I did my best not to have a meltdown last night again. I feel like giving up.

Thinking of you Harriet

to anyone else struggling xx

Hi all, to everyone struggling at the mo,especially to Harriet. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this again. I really hope the scan next week shows a heartbeat and that it's just your dates are out/scanning is out, but I completely understand your reaction, the minute you get that bfp you become attached. I don't think men always understand that.
Thinking of you, if you need to vent please do.

Nice to see you back here Kwick. I am the same with needing to get my bmi below 35. We can be weightloss buddies if you like.

Skipper I did the first cycle of the 90 day sss body coach plan. It's hard work with meal prepping, I felt like I spent most of my time in the kitchen! The exercise was the easy part (although still a killer). Cycle 1 has set recipes you have to follow and you do hiit workouts 4-5 times per week.
Cycle 2 you are given a list of foods and their portions so you can mix and match and exercise consists of hiit and weights.
Cycle 3 is similar but the exercise is more intense with the weights I believe.
I shed 11 inches on cycle 1 but only 0.5kg in weight. I really struggled with the mix and match principles on cycle 2 especially for the low carb meals on rest days. Consequently I drifted off plan.
I think if you can make time for all the meal prep which I believe is the key to completing this plan, then you will be fine and I think if you don't have much to lose, the results are amazing on terms of toning and inch loss throughout.

Today is the start of operation 'get bmi down'. Now that I have a wedding in Scotland and easter out of the way, I can concentrate on healthy eating and boot camp starts Wednesday.

I also have my HSG this morning. Any tips?!

Oh Harriet - I'm so sorry you're going through this again. I'm still hopeful for you but can understand why you are preparing yourself. Thinking of you 💐💐

Thanks for the info on the 90 day sss plan pug! I plan and pre-prep my meals most weeks, so hopefully that bit wouldn't be too much of a shock to the system. It's the exercise/eating combo that I need a kick up the arse for! I had an HSG a few months ago - not the most pleasant of experiences, but everyone is different. I'd recommend taking a good painkiller beforehand. The antibiotics made me feel really sick as well, so a can of ginger beer may also help!

Am about 6dpo according to FF - as usual, nothing. I did dream about spotting last night and thinking it was IB!

Re

Oops! Re hsg - take paracetamol before. It doesn't hurt for long but the cramps were pretty intense for me.

The first period after hsg was also insane - the heaviest one ever with so much cramping, so be prepared for that!

Harriet - sending good thoughts and wishes your way. ❤️❤️❤️

Alexia - has he spoken to you heart to heart about the TTC process? Sounds like he is struggling with the process, perhaps he's feeling indadequate and that's causing him to misperform. Do you try and keep sex spontaneous? I mean you can initiate it but maybe don't mention it's FW, that might be stressing him out. xx

Pug - thanks but I think your info is for someone else _. I hated the HSG, to me it felt like chronic period cramps except you can't move or adjust your body. Definitely take pain killers before, if you get bad period pains id think of taking something relatively strong. I only took paracetamol and it did squat.

Thanks girls it does look like that was the surge. We HS Saturday Sunday and Monday so we are well covered. I shouldn't have got so wound up 😔

Alexia yep my cm switched yesterday so I reckon that confirms it. I can completely sympathise with your frustration not HS when you're fertile. For me my entire month centres around it, and not being able to is yet another thing we can't control. Can you give him a longer slower build up and more time? Maybe don't leave it until you go to bed as then it's getting later and later - try when you get in from work maybe?

Now he's switched his trip it means we have our fertility follow up tomorrow too. They will be going through results and referring us for IVF. Any advice or tips for this? I'll be jotting down questions to go in with.

So nice to hear am not alone in the awkward baby-related conversations - thanks guys

Harriet really sorry for what you're going through, must be awful waiting - hope you can distract yourself, and so hope it's positive news

Alexia sorry things are still stressful around HS - think skipper had good advice around checking in with him; I think you said you'd had good talks in recent months - do you think there's more to discuss, or maybe broach talking to a professional (e.g. GP/therapist)?

Harriet so sorry to hear what you are going through. Take it day by day and feel however you feel. If one day it helps to be hopeful, then do it, if another you need to fall apart, do that too. We're all here for you, whatever the outcome.

Alexia sorry to hear things haven't improve with DH sex-wise. Did he follow through on agreeing to see a GP yet or not?

Well done Jam FX for you.

Still spotting/light bleeding, but not full AF. Boobs still really sore. Ironically, hoping that I am not upduffed as with the bleeding it would feel like terrible deja vu. Currently CD 26, so if cycle goes as last time, should have a couple more days before AF fully kicks in, as I had almost no spotting last month, I guess it's just confused me, that and normally my af started on CD 23/24.

Actually CD 27. Probably around 12 dpo. If AF doesn't arrive in full, when should I test again?

skipper yes we talk constantly. We've very open with communication, I know he's feeling the pressure but there's nothing I can do to help him. There's always been pressure to have sex whilst TTC so I don't know what's changed lately. I try to be spontaneous and I initiate sex most times. After AF was the perfect time to HS for fun and I dropped hints, initiated etc. but it's like he couldn't / didn't want to. I can't exactly hide FW from him because he knows it's the same every month. This just feels like it's gone way beyond ttc pressure. We didn't HS last night either

Jam sounds like you have it well covered this cycle. Good luck at your appointment!
See we don't have typical 9-5 jobs, it's much longer than that because it's our own business. Often we don't get to bed until 11pm so I know that affects his energy levels and he works at least 6 days a week. I wish we could start much earlier but it's impossible!

Quiet / Flash - he had to register at the GP so that took a bit longer than normal. His appointment / blood test is on Thursday morning at 10am and depending on the results we'll have to look at counselling as well.

Glad af hasn't arrived yet Flash. Are you going to test?

Can you try mornings alexia?

We often have the same issue -by the time it's 10/11pm DH is too tired and we get no where. Mornings however he is a lot less distracted and his primal instincts take over . Trying to fit it in isn't easy as we both often have to get up pretty early.

I'm on holiday at the moment but lurking when I can - just wanted to pop on to say that I'm thinking of you Harriet and really hope this works out for you 💐

harriet I've got everything crossed for you. If it does end up being another MC please don't give up hope. Someone I know had a series of mc's over a couple of years (already had one child) and she is now 36 weeks! Would also recommend the 'it starts with the egg' book for other little things you can try.

Hope you're doing ok Harriet

Sorry to hear you and your DH are still battling the same issue alexia. It must be infuriating for you and I do feel for him - I swear if getting a BFP depended on me 'finishing', it would never ever happen - I'm never in the mood apart from maybe one day a month, would rather do anything else and I know DH feels the same. It's tough - I really hope things get better for you. If your DH knows when your FW is, have you tried not mentioning or initiating HS at all so the ball is in his court? You probably have.

Glad you've got some well timed GOSing in jam 👍🏼 I've attached pics taken from that IVF book a while ago which contains a list of questions to take to your consultation - just in case it's helpful!

I'm so glad I took a day off today - have done a HIIT session, caught up on my crap shows, did a Headspace session and am now going to prep my food for the rest of the week. I've decided to give the 90 plan a miss as it seems pretty intense and I don't want to shock my body into misbehaving. I'll just sign up to another plan with the nutritionist I see and get more exercise in - I just need to lose a stone and tone up, so probably best to avoid something too dramatic!

So sorry to hear about the problems in your FW Alexia, that sucks for you. It gets SO stressful when the stakes are so high. :(

I am on day 15, went away this morning and won't now see my OH till day 19 so after I will have ovulated. We HS this morning though so fingers crossed if I ovulate around day 17 or 18 as seems to be normal, we might have a shot. I did a clearblue test and got high fertility, but not peak yet.

With pics attached his time jam!

I can't decide Alexia spotting has stopped and got some slippery CM, but that could well happen other cycles and I've not noticed. Can't decide whether to get a FRER and test tomorrow, CD28/13 DPO or hold out until the end of the week and just see what happens.

Pyjamas I hear you on toning up. That's my goal too. Not going terribly well. Although running is going well so I'm pleased about that.

Nice to see you pop on Hep. How are you doing?

Sorry skipper, it was meant for pyjamas. Glad you found the info useful pyjamas.

So had HSG this morning, it was painful, like very intense period pain but it didn't last long thankfully. Although that may be down to taking paracetamol and ibuprofen an hour before. The radiographer showed me the pictures after and everything is all clear which I'm relieved about.

Great news Pug. Glad it was all over quickly too.

Harriet, so sorry for what you're going through. I second Flash's comments.

Sending good vibes for what everyone's dealing with. TTC is not for the faint of heart, it seems.

Alexia - I know it's horrible to miss cycles but do you think it's worth taking a breather, getting your lives back to normality and then trying again? Just spend time together where sex is completely off the table and neither of you is expecting anything from each other. It's either that or your DH reaches out for some therapy but my OH would never do this so Im not sure if that's a feasible option for you. Also thanks for your advice about the evening pee, had my static face this afternoon...though actually feel like I'm ovulating this second, so much left side cramping.

Pug - a clear test is worthy of celebration Pug. Good job, glad it went as well as it could of. Hope you have a little reward set aside for yourself tonight.