SQUARE ONE TO GRADUATES! Come on ladies we're huntin' BFPs!

[MotherOfBeagles]

I get twitchy at the end lol! So next rollover thread. Roll call?

That seem a long time for private care Kate. Yes know what you mean about DHs and intervention. My DH is like a bear with a sore head about anything fertility treatment related.

I think it maybe a male pride thing? They should be able to knock us up effortlessly and any reminder they are not hits their masculinity maybe.

Footy breast pain for me post ovulation is unpredictable. Sometimes it's right from ovulation and someone's its closer to AF. Bit of an unpredictable symptom for me.

I've just taken my fifth and final clomid. Only on 25g to see how it goes. I felt very low the first day was in a very bad place mentally but I think maybe that was just me / hormones? Since then I've been more normal, a bit snappy with DH and had a hot flush every night (not slept brilliantly) plus slightly off tummy, but nothing too bad.

I don't really expect it to bring me a BFP I think that would be a miracle really. But I feel like I need it try something.

I wonder if all you grads still read this and think "you poor sods still trying"! I can't really believe that I still am.

Jam - still very much here keeping an eye out for a bfp from you all! Got my fingers tightly crossed and feeling all of your emotions getting excited when you all do and understanding what you are going through with the lows - I shall not give up on the thread until I see you all successful xx

Footy - hoping this is your turn it's sounding hopeful! xx

Kiki that's so sweet!
Jam hope you feel more lifted today, FW soon, the only bit where we have some control! Any new strategies? Every other day + OD?
How's things today Footy? x

Thanks Kiki

Tee same old same old. DH is coping very well, he says he feels depressive and struggling to cope with TTC this long. I think it does wear men down as I said before it affects their sense of manhood. He's booked to see a therapist - something he's never done before. I almost feel like suggesting we stop trying for a while but I've just taken clomid for 5 days.

At times I feel like infertility is ruining our marriage. I worry it's making me resentful and bitter and wonder whether it will ever being me happiness?

DH is not coping well, that should have said

Jam you took the words right out of my mouth!

I think I am still worse than dh, but I can tell it's having a negative effect on him. For about 8-9 months I thought it brought us closer with talking about it, but I feel I'm just embittered and resentful of everyone falling pregnant right when I have a chemical now....

I feel like booking this appointment is going to be incredibly anticlimactic. DH doesn't believe me when I say 5 weeks is insane to wait. But we are also restricted to getting appointments when I am already on school holidays. I would NOT want to give in a note for a fertility appointment (which I do have some control over when it is). If we had to pursue IUI or IVF or have procedures or whatever, that would be different. So July is the earliest I can have an elective appointment I think anyway.

Jam, I'm still here and rooting for all of you!!! And wishing you get your BFPs soon!! I'll follow this thread till yin get all your BFPs, I promise. Just wish you didn't have to go through this pain for so long!! And I'll also wish some of your DP/DH were more understanding and cooperative.
As for myself, I've got a couple of weeks to go. Had my last scan at 36+3 and her weight was estimated at 6lb 11oz. I'm 37+5 weeks today.

Hi Jam, I still read to watch out if you have your BFPs yet. Definitely don't think poor sods .... obviously feel quite shocked I guess how common it is to not fall pregnant straight away. But I am certain you will all get there soon and I will be here until you do!

My little boy is 4 months now. It's mad how quick time goes.

I do think of you all still and send positive vibes your way xx

Glad to hear from you grads!! Glad all is well and your babies are good and healthy.
Not long now to wait Russ, hope birth goes as well as can be.
*
Jam/kate* feel your pain. I don't think any man can understand how this makes a woman feel. The wait just makes each day feel like a month and each month like a year.

I suppose when you get your appointments you might feel like things are getting closer?
It's not easy getting time off with the appointments though. Might be worth booking a dental appointment on the same day or something so u can use that as excuse? I guess blood tests and scans you can just say what they are and I don't think u need to disclose what they are for?

Dh and I are definitely not closer with all this. Far from it. I think that we are not singing from the same hymn sheet at all sometimes.
He's got few issues as you all know and thought we were making progress but he seems to only manage 4 months of good behaviour and then slips back into his old self. Not sure all this ttc is helping. Not sure where I go from here tbh.

Cd31So I think I'm out this cycle. Browny/pink cm this morning with some cramps and temp was 36.18 which is way under coverline! So think AF is hiding around the corner. 😔 to add to my woes, Dh is being inconsiderate and incredibly selfish about a few things so I'm not in a great mood today.

Sorry to hear it's not looking positive for this cycle Footy 😞
Feel sad for you all feeling strain on your relationships. My DH is very relaxed about everything, he doesn't really care how long it takes and is confident we don't have any fertility issues. He just keeps telling me to chill. The plus side of that is it hasn't really affected our relationship at all, the negative that I can't really confide in him about how sad I feel.
Had a good acupuncture session again. She recommended a book called fertile fizz. Going to look it up now x

Glad to hear you are doing well radders I hope your little boy is loving life 💙

Thanks russ

Sorry footy - I hope you are wrong!!

That is quite amazing your DH is so chilled tee, perhaps it's different for men who have already conceived as they know they can? Or maybe just his chilled personality 😎

So it's July Kate? It'll be here before you know it

Clomid has made me mental but I'm feeling calmer this evening. I've shaved epilated plucked and trimmed body hair, cut and filed nails, moisturised and done a fake tan this evening. Hard work! Nails to paint next! Got a hen do in Somerset this weekend so bit of pampering needed.

Ooo yes hello grads! Glad is all going well for you all!! xx

Think you're right Jam, it's part being relaxed having conceived before, but also I don't think he'd be that devastated if we couldn't have a second child. He is an only child himself, so doesn't see it as a big deal. I admire his attitude for feeling like our DS is enough, and almost feel guilty that I so desperately want another. It's for him too though, he would so benefit from a sibling to look after, need to bring out his caring side!

@physicskate do you have a Nuffield hospital near you?

There is. Hmm.

I had a call from the fertility place I rang. I got the impression they think I'm an NHS patient? They couldn't find my NHS number, but turns out they only had part of my name. So if I can't go to an appointment until July anyway... it seems like this might save me some money if they don't treat me as a private patient.! I'm ok with that. This process is nothing but waiting. And waiting to wait....

What's the latest Footy, did AF come?

That's a result after all then Kate!
I have all the details lined up for the Consultant I want to see if AF arrives Monday; first Consultation is £300 😱

No af here? Thinking I didn't ovulate? Grrr

You've no need to feel guilty tee I really want more than one too. I think I'll want number two as much as I want this first one!

Kate it's the ultimate lesson in patience isn't it. It's incredibly hard to face something you feel you should be able to have but can't.

Footy are you testing? Fx for you

Tee I also want two. Having my sister is just so important to me. As a teacher I see a lot of sibling relationship (or only children) and some only children are a bit... odd. Sure it can give them great skills of independence and they tend to be a bit creative...

Honestly I'd probably rather have none than one... which at this rate.... might end up being the case!!

Footy test?!
My mum brought over a newspaper article she had kept for me, it referenced the same Dr I had been recommended in the week! He sounds like he's at the top of his game, been on tv a few times to discuss infertility with a special interest in conditions that cause a woman's body to reject or attack pregnancies. He offers tests which look at your immunity including natural killer cells. I know this is a contentious subject, with lots more research needed, but the success stories on his website really struck a cord with me. I definitely feel that my issue lies somewhere after conception. The friend who recommended him got his name from her friend who was helped by him after 7 years of ttc without success (including x2 MCs/chemical pregnancies). I'm sitting here with AF cramps, expecting to come on today or tomorrow. I have already requested an appointment and am very excited just thinking about the support/options he might be able to offer me. I also have another acupuncture session booked for tomorrow, so it'll be my first full cycle trying that from day 1.

Kate/Jam I'd recommend not worrying about going back on BC after your first! Feel so silly for being on the pill for 3 years after DS. We all know our cycles now, so perhaps just watch your timings instead. I have plenty of friends who struggled for their first and fell immediately for a 2nd, it's like the full term pregnancy reset/repaired their systems. It's happened in reverse for me! x

Hi ladies! Popping back on here. Af is due tomorrow or Tuesday and I am not sure I ovulate and wondered if stress can mean you don't ovulate. And if you don't ovulate how do u get your period? Excuse daft question over here.
The week I was meant to ovulate I had my essay to hand in and I was mega super duper stressed. I had a small amount of ewcm on the first day of fw and then nothing which is really unusual.

Any idea what happens to your cycle if you don't ovulate?

Lots of love and baby dust to you all. Xx

I'm still hovering too Jam. It's not fair the way sone of you are still waiting, a BFP is definitely overdue. Hopefully multiple postivites for you all this summer!

Baby boy is 6 months, he's quite a character. He has just started solids and is sitting up now. I'll keep reading until it all works out and it will! Hi everyone!

Hi Parney! Oh that's lovely, 6 months is an awesome age when they start chuckling and really trying to communicate.
Mama, what do you do to track ovulation other than monitor CM? Temping could be a good idea for you if you're worried ovulation isn't completing? My periods are like clockwork which is why I always presume I do always ovulate on time... and on that note, CD1 over here. I think cycle 19?! This is madness!! On a positive, I hopefully will have that appointment and potentially even some tests this month (if things move quickly).

mama from what I can tell if you don't ov in a cycle (quite common really), you can have delayed af. Or you can have delayed ov which would then cause delayed af...

Sorry tee about af...

I've just had my appt through for two weeks time!! I can do that day because I've already committed to something at work, but will ring tomorrow to try and change... not sure how they work it!

Hi parney!! Glad you're still around too!! Can't believe he's that old already! Seems like yesterday you fell pregnant!