Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Quick post from hotel on work trip to say I'm out. Next month is big holiday, then after that we'll start thinking about IVF referral. Ugh.

Sorry for self centred post. Due a big catch up read when I get some down time here.

(sending you love Kwick, we've all been thinking about you)

Sorry for AF penguin 💐 Good you've got holiday to look forward to- and the IVF referral might just be a step to getting your lovely baby in your arms. Stay strong x

Sorry ladies, was so so busy yesterday I only had time to dip in quickly - just having a skin catch up

LSFX flash & jam, hope the TWW craziness doesn't get too bad

Kwick hope you have been getting lots of TLC from your family & looking after yourself

Binky, sorry no idea about the actual blood results but could you call your GPS for a telephone appointment??

Sorry for AF winging

Jam hope your DH is on his best behaviour for the rest of his work trip?!

Pyjamas I sometimes have days like that! Usually just go home, speak to no one, and hope for better the day after 😂 Hope you managed to HS!!

GOS plan is on track this cycle, last night ticked off & again tonight all being well!!

PMA required today (as have barely slept from stressing about my blood results)..I'm trying to keep my focus on something that has been said on here many times- "we are one day closer to our babies". Ladies, our time WILL come, and all this stress and heartbreak will be worth it.

As popped up on my social media this morning, "after the rain comes the most beautiful rainbow" 🌈

LSFX all

(Waffling sleep deprived silly post over and out)

So sorry about AF Inspector Hope you can relax and enjoy your holiday with the prospect of IVF to return to.

You have absolutely nothing to apologise for kwick, you've been dealt such cruel blow. It's lovely to see you back. Hope you've had lots of RL support and hugs.

Hope things calmed down pyjamas and you managed a GOS!

Nice one Kaydee

Binky I'm sorry I've never head of that before? Hope you get some answers very soon. Try not to freak out in the meantime, it's hopefully easily rectifiable. That rainbow post always brings me comfort!

Jam test with cheapies if it'll give you peace of mind this cycle? I'm too impatient not to test and although I HATE bfns it keeps my hopes down. I find it's the hope that kills!

It's not going well here. I'm CD14 with a 70% positive opk yesterday and O pain this morning. DH has well and truly failed me. We haven't had sex since CD-fucking-10. I'm fuming! We were only meant to be doing EOD too, he says he's ill? I don't really see it. I completely lost it this morning and literally kicked him out of bed. Grr

binky I hope you get some answers soon. The rainbow post is lovely.

jam I've tested after AF once, it settled the stupid nagging feeling in my mind. It's so stupid how much this all messes with your head.

Sorry for AF winging and inspector 💐

kwick so lovely to hear from you. You've been in my thoughts. I'm hope you've got some good support to help you through this.

alexia sorry about DH. There might still be some sperm about waiting for your egg?

So I tested this morning and am now coping with the BFN with a FRER that confronted me. It's really knocked it out of me. I'm CD 32 and my longest cycle has been 33 days. My boobs are still the sorest they've been and big. So now I'm stuck in limbo waiting for AF so we can start this whole stupid process again.

Sorry about the BFN macs You're still not out yet, tomorrow is a new day.

Don't think any sperm will still be there, I actually have no idea where my egg is. I always have a +ve opk on Meds CD12/13. I've already had my 'wet' days and my cm is completely creamy today. This cycle is one big mess!

Posting this for Jam, Kath and anyone else with morph issues. This is miraculous.

Ugh Alexia, I know how you feel. Pretty sure I'm going to ovulate today. DH knew we were supposed to have sex last night but ended up working until 1.30. I was so cross that I couldn't get to sleep and was just lying in bed fuming. I'm worried we're going to end up going down the IVF route purely because he prioritises work over everything else (which I know is unfair because I'm sure he'd rather have been shaggjng and getting to bed at a reasonable time than working but whatever). I ended up watching TV until about 3am and then getting a couple of hours of sleep on the sofa. Today is going to be a long day.

Sorry about the BFN macs and for the arrival of AF Inspector and Winging

Binky, I'll have a look at all my results when I get to work and see if there's anything about globulin. Sorry that you're worrying about it and I hope you can talk to your GP about it soon

Miranda haha glad it's not just mine! 😂

Binky sorry I'm out of clues on that one. Have you made an appointment to follow up? My practice does telephone appointments which I find much easier to fit in

Pyjamas they used to be my drinking habits too! We both love our booze. I must say though I am enjoying the lack of hangovers. I feel better generally for drinking less. I hope you're feeling brighter today. Wednesdays are better than Tuesdays I think.

Winging did you test at all? I think you were caught out early? I'm sure I read that if your period comes early and is heavier that can indicate a CP. hope that's a promising sign of BFP to come soon.

Sorry about AF penguin. I hope you have a fabulous trip. With any luck it'll be your last big adventure before becoming parents 🌎

Kaydee he didn't drink. He is however going away Saturday and a friend is meant to be going with him - this guy is very very boozy so I don't stand a hope in hells chance of him not drinking too much 😔

Alexia how frustrating 😣 could he cooperate another way - get some in a soft cup and diy? If your OPK is not positive yet there is definitely still time. Thanks for posting the FF BFP! That is amazing. Is this a paid version of fertility friends / an app? I've only been on the desktop site and there are hardly any posts on the MFI boards so I feel like I'm missing something..

Macs I'm still hopeful for you hon. I hate BFNs so much, I do sympathise.

Ugh kath how annoying! Can you switch HS to when you get in from work rather than waiting until bedtime? That's helped us before.

Oh sorry kath, alexia - how annoying! No idea what's happening with your opks either though so maybe the timing might work in your favour?

We were meant to HS last night on our EOD plan but I fell asleep - oops! Then had an amazing sex dream which though enjoyable probably isn't going to get me that bfp!!

jam what is a soft cup? Is it a moon cup type thing and what do you do with it? (Sorry I should probably know this). I'm trying everything this cycle!

It is like a moon cup Harriet but you get a box of loads of them - they are not as reusable as a moon cup or diva cup. I haven't had one of those so can't compare. I get mine from amazon - there are lots of reviews for using them for TTC and AF. You pop it up after DTD to keep the sperm close to your cervix. That's the theory anyway! I've now switched to them for AF and massively prefer them.

jam yeah it was 3 days early and very heavy from the outset with some clots, no warning spotting which I get most months.
I didn't test as have vowed never to test until AF late

Sorry about AF penguin sorry about BFN mac 💐 It's all such a kick in the teeth sometimes.

Managed to HS last night despite my terrible mood - not going to lie, was glad when it was over so I could just be left the F alone! Mood not much better today - generally fed up with everything - TTC, my job, missing the life I had when I wasn't thinking about TTC etc etc. Sorry, I seem to be on moaning mode at the moment ☹️ Think today is going to be a earphones in day at work...

Used a soft cup for first time last night - think I ballsed it up when inserting so may have done more harm than good but oh well! They're much bigger than mooncups which threw me a bit!

Hope work doesn't drag too much for you today kath.

Right, am taking my dark cloud into a corner somewhere...

Sorry about AF winging and inspector.

Sorry to hear that Kath, my DH is also a workaholic, I just try to remind him from time to time all the things he's missing out on when he works unnecessarily (sometimes he has to work a lot and I understand that but other times it's just out of habit!)

Sorry about BFN Macs.

Had a pinky red splash of blood this morning, boobs look much bigger but don't feel as sore as yesterday (acupuncturist worked on some PMS points). And I have a spotty chin. Fairly sure it's all PMS, even my acupuncturist last night said 'Oh I'm hoping you're pregnant but your symptoms don't look promising'.

I think because I got pregnant 1st time last year, I thought maybe I'm really fertile (even though it turned out to be a dud) and I'll get pregnant again quickly even with one tube. But now I don't think that!

Pyjamas sorry you're feeling so crappy. I find I am generally happy, but definitely get more random low moods, that don't seem to be associated with AF as they used to be. The stress of all this, and the impact it has is unbelieveable. Make sure you do something nice for yourself this evening, sounds like you need a bit of spoiling/relaxing.

Jam, That's an interesting idea. At the moment, we're both getting home about 9pm and the priority then is normally food but I may suggest it tonight. Thank you!

I'm feeling exactly the same as you Pyjamas too. I'm supposed to be having a life/career chat with one of the partners this afternoon and I'm really not in the right head space for it. I'd really like a couple of weeks off from everything in my life right now. The idea of running away and going to lie on a beach and drink margaritas for a while is seriously appealing.

Flash, it's a pain isn't it? I do admire DH's dedication to his job and he's been very successful but I do wonder if it's worth it sometimes. Sorry about your symptoms and keeping everything crossed for you that your acupuncturist is wrong!

I'm sorry Kath, it's so frustrating isn't it!? I've been there many times crying at night and unable to sleep due to the stress of it all. My DH worked until 10.30pm last night and by the time he'd showered and we'd watched some TV it was already 12.30. He said he wasn't feeling well and fell asleep. I decided not to freak out and wait until the morning. 6.30 arrives and he's not interested. Got hard eventually, went soft. WTF! Cue me getting angry, abusive and kicking him out. We haven't spoken since except the angry messages I've sent It's horrible because we really don't argue often. I can't remember the last time I was angry at him. Oh actually, probably last FW Let's just hope we do not O today. Hugs x

I guess we could have used a softcup Jam but I was too focused on getting the real thing. I'm now worried most of the sperm will be dead by tonight! This is just so stressful And yes that's the FF app and I bought the VIP package. I got 3 months originally and then got a year's subscription discounted to £19. It's worth the money for me to have full access to the boards and obviously all the charting stuff. Most boards are more active than Male Inferility tbh. Most people frequent Waiting to Ovulate and Waiting To Test. Then TTC over 12 months, Trying after Loss, TTC in their (either) 20s, 30s or 40s. I'll attach that woman's chart, not much sex I must say!

Hope your mood lifts soon pyjamas

That must not have been easy to hear your acupuncturist say that Flash. I hope you prove her wrong with a lovely bfp.

Thanks Harriet. I'm certain being sick has delayed O for me. You're still quite early in your cycle I think? Hopefully you'll be back on it tonight with no damage done

I think AF is here. On 8 DPO!

Argh alexia so frustrating!! Fx Ov holds off so you can HS (make up sex?) tonight!!

Flash could it just be more spotting?

Pyjamas sorry you're not having a good time of it, it is all consuming at times hopefully you're feeling better tomorrow to keep up with your EOD plan!!

Harriet second alexia, fx you're back on it tonight & catch Ov!

PMA for you too binky hope you manage to speak to a Dr today

Sorry about the BFN mac!!

flash it could just be spotting. How long is your LP usually?

It's usually 12-13 days, but it was quite a big amount this morning, could still be spotting (as I seem to spot all the time!) I feel less bloated and PMS like today, which is normally a sign that AF is due, although maybe acupuncture just worked wonders last night for my PMS symptoms!

Gaelach re acupuncture, I've been going since November, inititally because i was having midcycle spotting for about 1-2 weeks pre AF, ever since my ectopic. Most of what he is doing is for that/fertility but will also work on other issues at the same time, such as anxiety. Is there anything specific you wanted to know?

Thanks for the support guys - hopefully this mood will lift soon! Don't envy your partner meeting kath - I think I would just walk out if I had one of those today! I've taken myself to a "quiet room" - the open plan office situation just doesn't work for me when I'm in this mood - I already feel a bit better now that am away from people asking me stupid questions. What you said about running away and drinking margaritas is exactly what I want to do! It just feels like forever since I've been able to relax and have guilt-free fun with my mates. Don't miss the hangovers, but I'm so BORED. I know that we could of course do non-pub related things, but I goddamn love the pub, everything in it and all the fun. Right, that's it, whinge over!!

I also think it could be spotting flash?

Argh that sounds so annoying alexia - I'm under no illusions that DH is well up for it when we HS, he's probably about as into it as I am (not very), but there's work to be done!