First time TTC - thread 6

[bassetmum]

Well thats another thread full of our comings and goings.

My details again
29
Cycle 6
Cd25

I just feel like curling up into a ball and crying. Tried to dtd last night but my oh was having none of it. I said to him last night that I felt like he didn't want me anymore as he's barely come near me this month. He was all I do etc. I don't know whether it's just cycle 8 blues but I am definitely struggling at the moment. Sometimes I just think f it I'll just go back on contraception.

Sorry for the miserable post I just wanted to offload.

Sorry to hear that bassetmum

We can struggle together today if you like? I'm on my 3rd cycle which I know isn't long, but I got a BFN today and just recently found out my SIL is pregnant after trying for about a month.

I'm very happy for her as she's wonderful, but can't help feeling jealous and old (she's 8 years younger) and very unhappy today.

Sorry to hijack but needed to offload :(

Sorry to hear that Bassett - I remember feeling that way around cycle 8, it's horrible 🙁 In my experience, it did pass and I'm now much more 'zen' about it all where I'm not even expecting anything but still have a little hope. Really hope you feel better soon 💐

Sorry about BFN and baby bomb as well fairy - take care of yourself today.

Eva Sorry to hear about the SA. the zinc and vit c Pjs Suggested could be worth a shot! may as well :) hope you and your partner are ok after hearing that news.

Thanks JeNe and Pie To be honest my cycles have been sooo all over the place I have no idea when I ovulate. before AF decided to disappear for 3 months my cycles were differerent lengths but getting shorter which was what i expected coming off the pill after 11 years. so this cycle im playing the wait and see but DTD often approach haha.

Sorry to hear your feeling down Flora Got my FX for you though your not out unless she arrives!

Basset for me, I have so many random aches and pains I havent noticed anything in particular when DTD around ovulation. Sorry to hear your feeling down today Big hugs! I went through something similar at the start when I came of my pill my sex drive went through the roof and my partner couldnt keep up! it was such a punch in my self confidence when my partner was like nah not tonight eventually I went in a mini huff and decided right im fed up being turned down he can initiate it when he wants it. It was all resolved quickly and now i try to keep it spontaneous and not as often so its still seen as a treat haha.... ( but also around ovulation time )

FairyAnn Sorry to hear about your BFN, i know what you mean around the time we started TTC my friend announced she got pregnant within the first month of trying and was soooo shocked that it all happened to quickly .... hear i am 9 months later and still no idea when i even ovulate. Its going to happen for all of us, just a pain having to wait

Thanks all. I went to yoga last night and that helped a little bit. We also had a text chat. Seems stupid but we clear the air better using texts rather than face to face chats. I think the issue is he is putting so much pressure on himself that he struggles with the whole thing. I'm not sure how i can change his feelings.

Im sorry fairy. You are not out till af shows. I am now feeling something with baby bombs. I never used to.

Pjs how are things with DH now?

Know what you mean about text being easier sometimes Bassett - we're the same! I find it easier to be more rational when I'm writing.

Things with DH much better, thanks for asked no 😊 He's relaxed a lot more and I'm feeling more like his wife again than an incubator! He's also relaxed with himself a bit so he'll allow himself a pint or two here and there - fine by me, this is all stressful enough as it is!

It's so hard to know how to relieve the pressure from them when you know exactly when that oh so narrow window is. DH knows when my FW is and if I see he's tired/moody I say to him it's obviously not compulsory, we can leave it this month if he wants, but he knows where I am if the mood takes him - he usually heads to the bedroom pretty soon after ha ha.

Hey everyone! Been away on holiday this week with DH which has been lovely :) Lots of relaxation, though it didn't stop me wondering.

Currently on CD24, DPO9, AF is due Tuesday if this continues to be a normal-ish month. Was pleased that I ovulated as normal so expecting everything to stay on track. There are still no preggo tests in the house and I'm trying my hardest to keep it that way!

No idea if we've managed it this month, not been awash with symptoms. Had a day when I felt completely wiped out and dizzy, a day of little cramps in the same place as last month but none of the crazy appetite I had before. So hard as I don't really get any warning that AF is coming anyway so just wait and see. I really want to see if I can hold out until friday if AF stays away.

basset Hope you're feeling more positive about things now, it's stupid how something that's supposed to be so happy is so stressful, isn't it? Hugs for you xxx

Pjs Glad things are better with DH :)

Fairy I'm lucky that none of my female friends have announced anything since we started trying (yet) but I never tire of hearing how my boss "only had to do it once" to conceive his son. He thinks he has super sperm or something. Then they talk about couples they know who have been trying for years and how sad it is (no one at work knows I'm trying and it's an office of men so they have the collective empathy of a teaspoon) Times like that I just put loud angry music on in my headphones XD

Also, welcome Coastal! The lingo takes a while to master but it does weirdly make things easier. Good luck to you :) x

Spotting has started for me already today at CD25 so cycle 11 is on its way. I was a bit down when I first saw it but as I really don't expect anything else each month now, I've pretty much accepted it. Taking myself out for a bit of retail therapy today to cheer myself up. One more cycle then it's off to the fertility clinic for us to get going on ivf.

Welcome back loxy and fx for you!

Oh im so sorry pjs. Treat yourself to a nice handbag or shoes!! Or both .

I am not sure how we are really as we haven't dtd since Sunday. Not that we are at it like rabbits anyway. I know we are still technically early in our ttc journey I just can't shake this thought that it won't happen which definitely won't be helping the situation. Cd18 so in the tww now. Although I am enjoying the doing bugger all to track this month. No opks, no cp checking and no cm checking.

On the positive side though my bruised boob feels better today. My dog who is about 25kg jumped and landed directly on it. Talk about ouch!!

Welcome back loxy hope you had a good holiday I pressed post too early haha

Spotting has turned into full on AF, a few days early. Am off out to spend A LOT of money - fuck it.

I'm the same as you Bassett - I can just feel it in my bones that it isn't going to happen without some help. I'm gradually getting used to the idea!

Already, Pjs ? Damn, sorry to hear that. Retail therapy sounds like a good plan :)

Thanks, Basset A bruised boob? Ouch!

Been wondering about when to bother my doctor about getting checked out. Only on cycle 5 at the moment but my mum and aunt both went through early menopause (35! ) so even though I'm only 26 I worry that I might be running out of time and not know it.

Yeah it was early this time loxy, which means I obliged early - I had a feeling I had 14 days ago so it does make sense. DH doesn't understand wallowing so am glad to see he's out so I can wallow a bit!

Even though it's early days, if you've got concerns then no reason why you shouldn't get checked out at least for peace of mind. You'd probably have to go private though. An internal scan and AMH test should give a pretty good indication of your reserve.

Obliged?! Ovulated!

Thanks for the info, I think i'll look into that after the 6 month mark :)

Late night update - Probably reading way too much into this but I just got back from date night with DH. We were eating in a Mexican restaurant and while we finished our drinks I could smell a whiff of something disgusting, like off fish. I tried to ignore it, DH didn't seem bothered. So we paid and stood up, as I turned around I saw the gentlemen behind me had some sort of seafood paella and the stench hit me like a wave, I thought I was going to puke so I rushed out of the restaurant. DH had no idea why I rushed out, he hadn't smelled it at all. So so strange. When I was younger I didn't like seafood but I've been having it more and more as an adult and now I love it! I had loads while I was on holiday in Italy and I love my aunt's paella, it's her speciality when family come round.

So there we go, one brand new big old weirdo symptom to get me wondering again. We'll see on tuesday...

Hey everyone.
Been an exhausting week after getting back from hol and straight into work but thank you all for your lovely comments. DH is taking his antibiotics and then after 2 weeks will go for a repeat sperm analysis. As a couple of you mentioned, he is taking vitamin c and zinc to try to reduce the "clumping" as the Doc called it. I ov on Thurs and I totally wasn't feeling it so think we only DTD on Tues, I wasnt even bothered, have no hope left of conceiving naturally.
pjs sorry for AF. Are you feeling like there's light in sight re starting ivf? The retail therapy sounds perfect.
loxy hope you had a good holiday. Like the unashamed symptom spotting haha, the smell thing is one that a lot of people have before their bfp so fx! Re getting checked out, I'd say be forceful - I'm annoyed that no one listened to my concerns, I think you just know when something isn't quite right.
basset good luck for the tww. Are you and DH managing to take some pressure off the TTC thing?

Good to see you Eva - sorry you've had a stressful time. I think I'm one cycle behind you and I know what you mean about having no hope left of conceiving naturally.

Yep - definitely feeling like there's a light in sight with IVF. I'm under no illusions - it's going to hard, invasive, stressful, emotional and the odds aren't great, but it feels good to know we'll at least be doing something, anything. DH is going to start reading that book on ivf I mentioned a while ago and I'm making our appointment for a couple of days after next AF is due - trying to invoke Sod's law!

Fx that's a symptom loxy! DH's curry made me gag in our first cycle, turned out to be a particularly stinky curry in the end ha ha. But hope it's a sign for you!

A little bit baffled here. It's CD 15/16. DTD most of FW. Went to the bathroom before bed last night and saw spots of blood on my pantyliner. Like a few 5p sized stains. Obv not my period and I know I didn't have any cuts or scratches. But too early to be implantation? It seemed to definitely come from "inside"... what could it be? And I wonder if it's related to TTC?

Could be ovulation spotting - I've had that once before!

Hey everyone

CD23 not really sure what to expect if i have a "normal" 28 day cycle then AF should be here by the weekend but my first cycle after the pill was 42 days so not sure if it will go back to that after provera. Decided im going to give myself 50 days to let AF turn up before I do a test.

Felt a bit down over the weekend visited a few friends with new borns/ 1year olds plus SIL is due in June and spent a few days texting me complaing about pregnancy symptoms. Usually im pretty positive about everything and these things dont usually bother me in the slightest but it was litterally 1 day filled with 4 babys and 2 bumps and phone blowing up with complaints from SIL about being pregnant. ill get over it just having a moan but can totally relate to what your saying pjs and Basset about having a feeling deep down it wont happen. I was definately feeling that while surrounded by babies and bumps!

Zohz I agree with Pjs Could be ovulation spotting!

Eva FX the antibiotics and vitamins work for DH!

Loxy ooh you never know! how long will you wait before you test? with the early menopause id say theres no harm in going to your GP and expressing your concerns if anything for peace of mind :)

Hey, Kitty waiting till cd50? That's amazing, hope you manage it. Yeah, if we don't get preggo this month think I'll make an appointment and test the waters with GP. Last month was the first time I'd met him and he was very nice and understanding, even gave me his mobile so I could let him know if my phone consult went okay.

As for when I'll test? I'd said before I want to wait till Friday. We don't have any tests in the house so I'll have to actually go and buy one. The earliest I'd be able to test is Wednesday morning, if AF doesn't appear tomorrow. I'll be torn - between wanting a good clear result and needing to know asap. Also sick of wasting money on tests, haha

Morning ladies, AF turned up for me over the weekend so its onto Cycle 10. Like Eva and PJs I am also feeling a bit resigned to the fact that we might need help. It's not really giving me much comfort at the moment though.
That sounds like a pretty tough weekend Kitty and you are well within your rights to feel a bit bruised by all the baby bombing and moaning SIL. Our niece is now 16 months old and absolutely dreading SIL announcing that she is expecting number 2 - I cried when she announced number 1 and I wasn't even actively TTC at that point.
Urgh can't be arsed with anything today.

Ugh sorry AF got you flora - it's such a horrible time. Be kind to yourself xx

Don't worry at all about moaning kitty - I would have lost the plot months ago without being able to vent here!

Had a pretty difficult weekend with DH and a big fight yesterday because he just can't understand why I don't distract myself from feeling sad (I got AF on Saturday). After the big fight, I calmly explained to him that I do what I can to distract myself (went shopping, had a massage yesterday), but sometimes I just need to be able to feel sad for a bit and him making me feel shitter than I already do isn't helping anyone. I'm the first woman he's ever lived with and due to the implant I didn't have periods or hormonal mood swings for the first three years out of the four years we've been together, so this is all new to him. I've said that I'm not doing IVF unless we get counselling because we obviously need to work through some things. We made up last night, but I hardly slept at all because of a load of horrible thoughts whizzing through my head at light speed . I'm currently sitting in a quiet room at work so I can avoid being in an open plan office all day - just did a 10 minute headspace session, and it really has helped.