Thread 23. TTC #1 - New Year, New Opportunities. Let's keep those BFPs rolling in!

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

Happy New Year! It's 2017 and it's OUR year

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We've ditched the Gregorian calendar in favour of the TTC Cycle Day calendar, and we don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

We have a new Grad's Thread. We recently lost a whole load of ttc veterans to the good side and we're absolutely desperate to join in the fun! May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Alexia I'm so so sorry 😞 You must be hurting so much. Please take care of yourself and make sure you talk to someone IRL. There is support in bags here if you need us 💐💐💐💐💐

Alexia
please get some rl support. I am so sorry to hear this I was so hoping this was your time. Take a break, look after yourself and come back when you are ready.

alexia this is so shit, unfair and heartbreaking!! We are all here for you. When you are strong enough get yourself referred to the recurrent mc team. You need answers why this keeps happening and stop this hurt each time it happens . Do you have anyone you can talk to. I know you are your OH are very supportive of each other. Always here if you want to vent or anything else xxx

Aww jam that's a kick in the teeth. She should have just said I think I'll hang on to this, simple and no digs or assumptions. I don't think anyone who hasn't struggled understands what they are saying or implying at times

You too flash sometimes I wish I was brave enough to just turn around and say do you know that's a really shitty insensitive comment? I would probably make things worse though.

miranda hope you have had good news about your mum's op by now re exercise if you are already doing the exercise then it's OK. They advice nothing heavily built on muscle building (can effect hormones) and nothing too stressful on your body. Regular cardio helps blood flow in the body including to the uterus

Re mc causes. When I had mine I asked one of the nicer midwifes if I could ask her a few questions. She replied of course you can but let me say before you ask you did nothing to cause this. Its sad and upsetting but unfortunately more common than you realise. Please don't blame yourself. And she was right. When I was able to talk about it I was quite amazed at the amount of people who could relate as it happened to them.

kathrino 3 months does not a difficult journey make! It probably took them more time to write that up than it did get pregnant .

Have not been feeling great. Upset tummy and sore head. Really really tired. So much so I completely forgot to do an Opk at all yesterday. Roll on spring, January is such a long cold ugly month.

Oh Alexia, I'm so sorry. It just seems so cruel. Look after yourself. We'll be here if you need anything at all

I'm so so sorry Alexia I can't even imagine how heartbreaking this is for you. Look after yourself and try to stay strong x

Oh Alexia - this so cruel and I am so sorry to hear this. Really hope you have irl support and we're all here when you're ready💐

:(

Gentle hugs for you Alexia. I'm so sorry you're going through this ... take all the time you need and as others have said, get some RL support too (though we are all here for you as well of course).

alexia I am really so sorry to hear this news and how you feel at the moment. Have you tried counselling it sounds like you could do with some support there. Stress is a biggy with conception (or so I read/ hear) but it doesn't help when it is that causing your stress in the first place!!!
Take care x

Thinking of youAlexia

Alexia I'm so so sorry this is too cruel. Look after yourself, give yourself time to grieve or be angry and let your DH care for you. Take all the time you need away from MN but please remember that we are here if you need us. I am not sure where you are with GP tests but can you would reach out to them now anyway? They need to know both the mental and physical impact this is having on you. Sending you so much love, you're such an amazing lady so don't forget that

God alexia you poor thing. I'm so sorry you're going through this again.

Oh no alexia poor you. Thinking of you.

Hi guys, just wanted to add my sympathies to the list for alexia. If you're still reading, we all have so much love and admiration for you - you'll see just how tough you are as you get through this latest blow. And you will get through it, because that's what we do. I hope that the suicidal feelings pass soon, otherwise please seek help - you don't have to feel like this forever.

I've been lurking here, quietly cheering you all on and hoping your AFs don't keep showing. It seems that the thread has taken a sad turn, and I think maybe the Christmas cluster-fuck (that was the Christmas BFP wave combined with festivities/difficult families, followed by a long, gloomy, sober January) has taken its toll. I can easily understand that, I've been there myself for many months. But ladies don't lose hope, you will all get your much-wanted babies one way or another, but there's no reason not to make the most of the wait. I have found so many of you to be great support and am continually blown away by the love and kindness here. I guess all I'm saying is keep on keeping on, you are all strong women and you will be fantastic mums

Xx

Hear hear fxskip. Lovely post.

Fxskip - really encouraging words.
Alecia - thinking of you x

So sorry alexia, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, take care of yourself & DH & time to come to terms with everything, and most importantly, be kind to yourselves

For the LOVE of GOD wingingit I cannot believe they mucked up your bloods!!!

LSFX colour 🤞🏼

miranda I hope your mum's op has gone well
My FC advised only light exercise during TWW and NO heavy lifting. I actually think it made a big difference that my latest TWW was spent quietly in front of TV - no planes, trains and automobiles.

Alexia I am so sorry. I hope that you are getting some support - this process has been very hard on you, please do not hurt yourself as I truly believe you will triumph in the end.
We are absolutely here for you. Great advice from peaches - you need answers!

Amazeballs post fxskip

Wowsers, you guys have almost 800 posts in this thread! It's the first time I've checked in this cycle as I'm having a deliberately more detached month this time (which has been great).

Alexia, I'm so so sorry. You sound distraught and I can only imagine how sad and frustrating it must be for you. The continual highs and lows will be exhausting and have a huge impact on your mental health so please do see if there's anything you can do/someone you can see to try and help with that.
I know it's totally unconnected but I found counselling incredibly helpful when I was going through my breakup with my ex husband and I wouldn't hesitate to go again if I found myself back in that dark place.
There will also always be shed loads of support for you here, of course .

To those of you with your recent BFPs, hoping you're all having a stress free time and enjoying the happiness that comes with it. It's been lovely to see the good news on the thread and finally be able to cheer for our long-timers. It gives the rest of us hope and determination to join you!

Jam I hope you and DH are back on an even track after his blow-out and so sorry to hear about your gran . What a shitty way for 2017 to start, but it has no bearing on how the rest will turn out and there is no reason not to look forward to it as your year.
When is your appointment with the Fertility specialist? I found that it took a lot of mental pressure off me once that had happened so I hope it does the same for you.

Not much report from this side. Not been OPK-ing or tracking anything this cycle so no idea what CD or DPO; just trying to make sure we have sex every couple of days (not strictly managed that!) and waiting it out until the end of the month.
It has been liberating and I'll do the same next cycle - only six months or so to go until we opt for IVF and that time will fly by so there's no point getting despondent.

I have been making sure I do more exercise too since I used TTC as a convenient excuse not to do much at all in Nov/Dec. I ordered some scales last week and am about 4 kilos above my fighting weight so the half-marathon training has gone into full swing! I did my 7 mile 'tempo' run today and am feeling smug - just need to not give in over the next six weeks before the race

Thinking of you all and hoping for more good news soon, and looking forward to following the exciting journeys of our BFP-ers :)

Alexia I'm so sorry you think you're out. I really hope you're wrong. This feeling will pass, you will feel stronger in a second, and for every second that passes you will move onwards in your journey. I promise you will. Sending strength, hugs and love. X

So sorry Alexia it's utter utter shit and I know words can only do so much but just know that your time WILL come!

Bfn for me this afternoon. Just hoping that it's too early after my suspected implantation bleeding (Sunday night) if I'm not pregnant I have no idea what's going on with me. I'll maybe test tomorrow with fmu.

colour but I think you are testing way to early! Sunday was only 3 days ago! And also not using FMU!!!

inspector I am loving your zen like approach

Alexia I am so sorry. I really hope you have some irl to talk too and I would say make a gp appointment and ask/demand to be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and really tell them how much this is affecting you. The miscarriage association has numbers you can call if you need to, but know that we are all here ready and waiting if you want to talk.

I don't want to take anything away from alexia's sadness but I feel I need to tell you guys as I'm sat here in tears.

Ever since I've had my bfp (and before actually) I've had brownish discharge. I've also had mild cramping on and off which I know can be normal. Tests have been getting darker, last test was on the 9th and almost as dark as the control line and in fact the discharge started to fade and I had none yesterday.

Today however I wiped and there was a lot more of this brownish goo. This had varied on and off all day and tonight it's turned red. Some mild cramps but nothing more than previously.
I have now stupidly taken a test (held wee for 4 hours) and the line is so much lighter than its ever been. I know hcg concentrations vary during the day, but surely at 20dpo it should be a strong line even in the evening? It's lighter than the day I found out.

I'm not expecting advice but I just feel as though this isn't going well.