Getting ready for baby challenge

[TheresAlwaysTimeForTea]

Hi all, we are planning on TTC in the new year. Before that I want to get a bit healthier lose three stone and generally be in the best shape possible to get pregnant and run around after a baby. Is anyone else in the same boat? Would you be up for a little thread to keep us all on track? Planning on doing a dry January as a kick start and then will be dragging my arse to the gym after Christmas as well. Very open to suggestion and ideas to shift the bulge. Would be good to have a few buddies though. Anyone fancy joining in?

Oh absolutely mummy, and I have worked in childcare and its low paid and they should be earning more with better working arrangements and conditions 100%, it's just a big chunk of a bill to be paying out like anything else is and one maybe people are new to I guess!

True mummy and I want someone trained and professional looking after my child when the time comes but all your salary going on child care must be a bit depressing.

Shared leave might be something we have to consider too. I earn almost twice what DH does (so in similar boat to Red and Grumpy) so will hit us hard when I go part time but we can scrape through I hope. Will be really hard career-wise too after years of building to where I am but this is a new chapter. Doesn’t help that my manager has made it very clear that “we shouldn’t employ women of childbearing age” - she actually said this in a meeting jokingly, but believe me she means it - so bit concerned about where my job will be when I do go back. Oh well.

Yup, this is really really life changing!!

Hi mummyme and good luck! These ladies are inspirational.

Love the idea of a spreadsheet confused - just my kind of thing :)

I am lucky and work shifts, so only have childcare for 28hrs a week (x2 11hr days and X1 6hr day), DP covers my weekend shift. I pay £677 pm which feels a lot but in reality it's not, it's less than a 3rd of my income.. although I still feel short every month 🙈 Need to think about saving something for the next baby, maternity leave etc. I got into loads of debt on mat leave last time, don't want to do that again. All the coffees, lunch out, baby groups and cute clothes cost a lot in the end 🙈

Childcare is one of those things though where you have to work out if you are better off or not... and make your decision based on that.

After making my spreadsheet i'm thinking about £1500 before DC is born that we would need to pay out to have what we want... but you could easily cut that down to £1000 i would say... buy i just love the funky cots and prams that cost alot!

Also DH just said to me that if I get down to ideal
BMI weight of 11st2lb before April we can start TTC sooner... someone pass the laxitives!

Jupiter what's your plan career wise? I'm in a good spot and would like to stay here long term so I figured take mat leave now then come back after six months, to show I'm committed and to avoid the risk of them not giving me my exact job back (after 26 weeks off you don't have the right to your exact same job back). Plus I get full pay for six months so it wouldn't impact financially. When DH is off under shared leave rules it would be the equivalent of SMP only I believe but as he earns less it wouldn't have too much impact. I'm also thinking of coming into work for all ten of the allowed "KIT" days to show my face and call my clients... that might be overkill but I've worked my way up so damn hard I don't want to give them an inch of a chance to discriminate. Sad I know.

I'm also training my junior to cover my work ahead of time (partly why we are waiting a bit to TTC) because my job is strategic & very relationship based they can't hire temporary cover for this role.

Really interesting to see all the people considering shared leave and pt when returning. Something I will definitely be looking more into depending on my ohs work situation when it's that time!

I'm terrified about how it will affect work. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I'm going to be letting people down. (I work at a smaller office) :s I'm sure things will work out.

Confused even if not better off at first it can be an investment in your future career

Grumpy - not sad of you at all, I completely understand! If you’re in a good spot then you need to retain it. I’m going to keep close links with my team throughout my 6-8 months maternity leave too so they don’t forget me. I’m fortunate that despite my manager being a twat I am protected by the many maternity-friendly NHS rules and policies which means that I will be able to cut down my hours to three/four days a week and stay in the same job even if I take up to a year off (which we can’t afford.) What might happen though if that I could be put into a different area within our massive community services which would be a shame after a long time building up contacts and a reputation within my current teams. I am ambitious and have spent the last 9 years doing additional qualifications etc to ensure I keep progressing. It will be very hard to have a different mindset and be out of that loop BUT this is just an extra chapter in my life and my job (in some form) will be there when I go back to it.

Confused that's great, eeeek!! how far are you off your target weight? Also £1-1.5k sounds doable for baby purchases - you'll have to share your spreadsheet of ideas at some point :) We're saving at the moment (for money to top up maternity leave) so trying to be good and staying away from online shopping...

Oh dear god! I just looked at the costs of nursery out here! This kid lark is a rip off! I'm planning to take 6 months off (maybe more - it depends on the terms of our new mat policy which should be released some time this month.

Anyway in an ideal world I'd go back 4 days a week but I think I'll try and do full time while I'm out here as we don't get a pension so instead we get end of service payments and that will be reduced significantly if I work part time. Lots to think about.

Confused how much weight would you need to lose to get TTC then? That's an exciting update!

Phew just caught up! Congrats on everyone's weight loss! I have a funny feeling in my tummy today but pretty sure it's the shock of not eating so much after binging over Christmas! Going to weigh tomorrow I think and pray!

Can't believe how much childcare is! I worry so much about money and really wonder how people afford it! Confused I definitely want to see this spreadsheet, you sound like my kind of gal!

We haven't officially asked for anything for our wedding gifts, hoping that we don't get 5 toasters and get money which can secretely be our baby fund :) we haven't booked a honeymoon yet cause we can't afford it on top of the wedding so will just have to see- also not sure about travelling whilst preggers? Although I love the idea of a babymoon! I can just imagine the cute bump, lovely cossie, big floppy hat and a virgin cocktail on a beautiful beach somewhere doubt we can afford that and the pram/furniture/ALL the clothes I have my eye on!

And my stats!

Location: UK (south east)
Age: 24
TTC: end May (getting married July, hen do in May)
Cycle: Came off cerazette Christmas Day and nothing yet, still waiting for AF
Weight loss: lost 1.5 stone on SW between sept/Dec last year, got another 1.5 stone to lose for wedding/healthy bmi for baby making :)

So grateful for this thread, ive felt like an utter loon recently and glad I've found lots of other people who share my baby madness :)

Just don't pick a beach with Zika buzz ! (Like I did!)

Yeah, ask for money for your wedding gifts (in a very tactful way of course!) then you could do a little honey/babymoon and then put the rest towards project baby!

Hb it'll be fine! Just go nuts with the deet! When do you go?

No idea how to ask tactfully- and I've printed my invites now so can't add it in.

Buzz we are twins I came off cerazette Boxing Day and hoping to conceive by end of May/mid June - starting trying in march/April . No sign of AF for me either! I got married last year and went away for two weeks on honeymoon just me and DH it was bliss congrats and hope the planning is going well

Wahay Grumpy! I hope it all goes to plan for us! (And that AF turns up eventually!)
Do you think I'd be silly to start trying march/April like you? What are the chances of it happening first go? I'd say very slim but you never know! I'm sure I could live with a sober hen do right?!

Like most of you ladies I am only going to have the 6 months off.. and Grumpy sorry I didn't mean to offend.. i am fortunate enough in that I don't have a career anymore i get paid good money just to work and pay the bills... my DH is in the same position all be it him earning about £10k less than I am so it would purely be a money driven decision for us!...

Jupiter I need to lose 1st2lb but i know i can do it if I put my mind to it and i really want a Nov baby! Lol you ladies who lost 5lb already are an inspiration! Also about the £1.5k it obv wouldnt have to be spent all at once... i have just spoken to DH about maybe spending £150-£200 a month on stuff before conception which will last in the cupboard waiting to go and soften the blow a bit when it finally comes to pay out time!

Buzzmoon have you sent your invites? If not just slip a printed bit of card in with one of those poems!... we let our parents tell everyone only money which took the pressure off of us

Also about a babymoon.. I LOVE THAT IDEA!! Although both DH and my mum have banned me from flying whilst pregnant which has killed my dream of Glamourous bikini bumps on the beach!

I will share the spreadsheet tomorrow morning ladies as it is on the work comp

Confused no offence taken at all! I meant for your situation not mine- as you mentioned calculating the financial offset of childcare (I have worked my way up so can now easily afford childcare) but by all means if you are happy with a job not a career (and if you'd rather be a SAHM if it made sense financially) then I'm not judging at all. I just meant that often women see childcare as costing their entire salary or more, so they think it isn't "worth" working. But there are many reasons it's worth continuing to work, for most people anyway.

Eek I'm going to Spain in July, I imagine I'll hopefully be bumpy then if all goes to plan, I'm not too worried about it though, I did the same last time and it was great, a week in the sun what just what I needed! The flight was totally fine, I was five months that time, I would be 6 this time if it happened first try but would be happy to holiday between 3 and 7 months provided I had no complications! I can't imagine ill resemble anything glamorous though, beached whale is more likely!

I think I misunderstood as well your post sorry. You mean you earn enough to cover it and more you just want to see if you as a family can afford for you to work less rather than use childcare?

Mrs that sounds lovely, I'm going to Italy in August so will hopefully be pregnant by then too!

Buzz you might be fat by July though if you started trying in march! I definitely would be.. enjoy your body hen do then go for it I say xx

Oops that was meant to say boozy hen do