TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

TCOYF is supposed to be great. The fertility friend app also has a free charting course and the same info is in their book Charting Your Way To Conception which is free on kindle.

Sometimes I find if I take my temperature twice taking it a third time helps. Sometimes the first time I didn't quite keep it still in my mouth so it shows up as lower than it should. My thermometer is a cheap one and seems to take forever to beep, if you move it around or take it out too early it can mess up the temperatures. But I actually find even if I forget and start to move around and then take it it's fairly consistent. Just don't wait until after you've brushed your teeth or drunk coffee or anything like that! I presume morning sex would also throw it off but just cuddling up to DH doesn't affect it.

Hi everyone, only came across this forum today and already reading everyone's comments has really helped me. I had a miscarriage in December when I was 8 weeks pregnant. It also happened the evening I was maid of honour for my best friend and only met up with her yesterday for first time since so it's been an emotional weekend! We are TTC as soon as possible and started trying 2 weeks ago and haven't been using protection. We were building our hopes up and felt that maybe those who knew would judge us for trying too soon! However this morning I had my first period since so it's been an awful day with lots of different thoughts going through our minds. Reading through your comments as helped me so thank you all for that. Hope you don't mind me posting xx

A warm welcome, Nadines1987! Sorry you've had to join this thread, but happy to hear this forum has already helped. Hope you feel a bit better now - sorry to hear this weekend has been so tough and emotional. Just take it easy, tell your DP/DH to spoil you and give you lots of cuddles. Your time will come, don't worry about it. Focus on yourselves, do things that make you both smile and take it one day at a time. Definitely don't worry if other people will judge you - it's your life after all, not theirs. We're all here if you need to talk to someone xx

Ladies, I need some advice...

I had a miscarriage just over a week ago, I have nearly stopped bleeding, I have a tiny penny sized spot of bleeding for the past 2 days. And it's brown old looking blood.

The big question is, can I have sex? It would be with a condom. My hormones are sky high and I want to jump my husband.

Thank you in advance

Thank you ladies for the warm welcome, and I'm so sorry to hear about your losses as well, big hugs.

It's comforting to know there is such a supportive network of strong ladies out there, thank you so much.

We've decided to wait for a full cycle before trying again so it will give us time to get back to normal and I'd prefer to know where I am with dates etc. Also decided to take a few more days off work as not feeling too good this evening, but spent the day with close family which has been nice.

We are still early into our journey but hoping to provide support to some other hopeful couples with our experiences if we can

theotherend I dont think there's any rule as to when as long as you want to and feel up to it - Go for it!

Currently in the 2ww so i'm staying off this board but lurking cheering you all on and commiserating with you from the sidelines

Hey all and welcome to the lovely newbies. As everyone will say, it sucks to be here but we're in kind and understanding company x

I'm 3dpo and trying to stem the crazy. This is our first cycle ttc again. I was pregnant for half of last yea and find myself desperate to be there again but so so worried about the anxiety that I'm already dealing with off and on.

DH is being brilliant. He's going to a great dad to our baby when the blighter eventually comes along.

I've been feeling a bit viral so not going to even bother symptom spotting in this dreaded 2ww. Eating well, sleeping plenty and trying to relax.

Hey buddah, wishing you well as we x-posted. The 2ww is a bitch but I'm here if you want to talk

Hi there!
Please can I join? Had a MC in October (7 weeks). Was absolutely devastated. I am currently trying to lose weight (BMI 31). Am doing well on Slimming world. We have just started dtd unprotected again but I've decided I'm not going to temp or OPK. Just going to have sex when I feel like it and try and be relaxed. I was so anxious last time as I was convinced I couldn't get pregnant (previous pelvic inflammatory disease x 2 from STD (cheating boyfriend) and a medical procedure). My DH is lovely but he was stressed out by military style sex last time!

Hi, can I join please. Been TTC#2 for about 3 years. Got BFP the week before Christmas and was so delighted. MC last weekend at 9w and bleeding almost stopped. GP said no need to go for scan if being stops - is this right? I would have thought they would want to check everything gone but maybe I'm being paranoid.

Really want to start TTC again, so want that feeling again. Good luck to everyone else

Hi swimchick1980, so sorry to hear about your MC after so long trying. My GP told me the same about not needing a scan, but I went anyway and I must say it did help me process it a bit. Also it stopped me from worrying that there was any of the pregnancy left behind. So don't feel you shouldn't go if you think it would help, equally you might prefer to just stay at home and not go to hospital. It was weird sitting in the same antenatal waiting room I went to for my DCs, I must say. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Thanks 24carrot. It would be nice to get the reassurance but would find it tough sitting in the same waiting room as the excited expectant mothers.... Might just leave it as bleeding seems to have stopped now and no cramps. Have tried to phone EPU loads of times but never get any answer :-(

Hello ladies, need some moral support if that's okay. It's my first cycle after first AF after MMC in December. I reallywanted to TTC but I found a lumpy bit in my breast last week. Saw the GP who's referred me to the breast clinic. I'm really hoping it's scar tissues and hormones as I had recurrent mastitis with DC1. After much agonising had to watch my lovely strong positive opk on Saturday Go by without dTD just in case there's something there which needs treating. And one of my closest friends has announced her pregnancy this week. Just feel very ad and quite scared.

Not a great morning being back at work post MC. Someone hadn't been told and came up to me asking how the morning sickness was going... Not his fault but it sent me into a fit of tears right in the middle of morning handover.

Now worried I was rude to him...

I was doing so well until anyone is nice to me and they all have good intentions. I feel like I'm so horrible to everyone!

I've got two days off again from tomorrow and it's payday so I'm going to try and do something nice. My mum has also offered to come up for dinner so might have to take her up on the offer.

Sorry for the rant...

Hope everyone is OK. Wibblewobble try not to worry... I think that's very sensible to not try and get your health sorted. It will put your mind at rest and your health comes first. It's probably nothing and then you can try again next cycle

Thanks Claire, that's what I keep telling myself. Sorry you had a crap morning, I doubt your colleague will think you were rude, he'll just be gutted he didn't know and put his foot in it. Enjoy the payday spending!

88claire, sorry to hear you're having a rough day at work. My first day was the same - only three of my work colleagues knew what happened, but every time anyone asked if I was feeling okay (I was off for nearly 2 weeks) I felt like bursting into tears. I had to run to the bathroom a few times. Your decision to take more time off is a good one, treat yourself with something nice and spend time with your loved ones. It's my second week at work and I still think about it a lot, but I feel much better so just be patient. And don't feel guilty for how you're treating others, I'm sure they understand. Big hug! xx

Wibblewobble100, I'm doing the same - getting my medical problems sorted before TTC again. It will take a while, but we'll get there. Better to make sure you're okay than worry. Hope it's nothing and you get back to TTC soon!

Hi All,
Not caught up on the thread but sorry to all who've had recent mc's, I understand the awful pain. This thread helped me a lot when I was there.
Congrats on any new BFP's.
I've finally done some unpacking at our new house (we moved in end Nov but pregnancy tiredness wiped me out) Anyway, I have a pack of about 20 OPK's and 10 tests so if anybody wants them, please message me and I'll post them to you - I know how expensive it is when you're buying them and all the vitamins etc! First come first served :)
Now 18+2, sickness has passed but still get very tired - not had the 2nd trimester burst of energy that's supposed to happen.
Good luck to you all on this journey, try and stay positive - I know that's easy for me to say now but I was there too and remember how hard it feels.
x

I hope today is going better 88claire. Whether people know or not it's difficult.

On my first morning back I was holding it together, all alright, had psyched myself up to be back. Then my manager, who's kind but always a bit awkward, asked for a word, took me out to the sofa area, and said it was nice to have me back and she was so very sorry for my loss and what had happened.

I sobbed, literally howled, and it all came back in a horrendous crash or awful feelings. I was doubled over bawling while she sat next to me stroking my back and having a cry herself.

If she'd only bloody let me get through my first whole day without bringing it up I'd have been fine! It was fine after that, I think the release had been good for me and she was so shocked I doubt she'll ever do that sort of thing again bless her!

I totally understand people wanting to acknowledge the loss, and with friends and family that meant a huge amount to me. But work was different, for me, and I didn't want the sad faces or the kind comments as I could feel my veneer cracking.

That's so kind of you knorrig, I'm sure someone will bite your hand off! Such lovely news you're 18+2 and healthy, if shattered! Wishing you an easy, relaxed, comfy rest of your pregnancy

Oh Anne, I feel for you.

I remember being the same, I just wanted to get through work and not think about it but then my two (male) bosses asked me how I was and I just started to cry! It's so tough.

Thank you :)

It was a few months ago now and I feel a lot more emotionally level! Work is a constant, and I reserve my occasional outbursts and anxiety for home and a hug from DH

But everyone's different. And it depends a lot on where you work I think.

Thank you for coming back and letting us know how you're getting on. I'm a relatively recent joiner on this thread but happy stories give us all so much hope x

Anne I'm totally with you on the work thing. Through everything work has been my place to go and be distracted and not think about it all for a few hours a day. The majority of my work colleagues know about my miscarriages which I think is helpful for if I'm having a bad day but they also know how much I value work being a distraction so are just quietly supportive unless I bring it up.

Sorry to all those having a tough time at the moment and good luck to those returning to work.

Thanks for the positive story Knorrig. I also find them helpful to read.

I had a good weekend away with DH's family. Ate and drank far too much and did some good Lake District walks. Also managed to put miscarriages and TTC out of my mind reasonably well which was good.

So glad you had a happy weekend emily Food, drink, beautiful views and great company are the best.

I'm feeling pretty chipper today

Had a weird thing with my boobs which has been puzzling me. When I came off the pill a year ago I got worse and worse PMS boob pain, for a week before af they were huge, painful and hot. This then got a lot lot worse constantly when I was pregnant but since the last MC they've shrunk, haven't hurt at all and haven't changed with either of my two post MC cycles.

I'm sure they're starting to get a bit bigger this week, despite my reluctance to do any active symptom spotting, but it's almost like post MC they reset themselves and my usual barometer has failed me!

Anyone had anything similar happen?

Thankyou Anne

It did improve... I had to hold back tears at lunch when one of my colleagues (who had a student with him so didn't want to say anything in front of her) caught me and said 'i'm really sorry to hear what happened'. He was obviously desperate to acknowledge it but we soon moved the conversation on. It's so difficult as people don't want to seem as if they're ignoring what's happened but at the same time it makes me cry!

I was actually feeling very cheerful by the end of the day, all the patients behaved and I was very glad for some distraction!

How are you doing?

Anne, never trust the boobs! That's what I say. For the first to 8 months after coming off the pill until my first BFP mine never felt any different whatever the stage of the month. Now they seem to feel the same in the lead up to AF as they do in the lead up to when I've got a BFP. Pesky things trying to trick me and get my hopes up.