TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

@24carrot I don't know anyone from my new job, unless you count someone from a different department I worked with on a project nearly 4 years ago!

Luckily my new manager is a lovely person, she delayed my start date by a week when I told her what happened. They seem to be the nicest people in the world.

Hopefully they will still like if my plan to get pregnant asap works. Obviously I won't be sharing that plan with them

@looking4hope this will be baby number 1 for me. And I'm doing my best to stay as positive as possible and wishing everyone else lots of positive vibes

Sounds like you have a keeper there AnneLovesGilbert

Just checked my dates and af is due the day of our next apt at the RMC when I'm getting my blood test results. So a good excuse to poas a day or so beforehand as I'll need to let them know if by some miracle this is our cycle.

I'm trying so hard to resist the excitement part, we could be ttc for months before it happens, I know that. It was 7 months to first bfp, then 6 weeks till the next one and here we are now...

We can but live in hope. And any excuse to jump his gorgeous bones (when he's recovered from the near death by leftovers I've inflicted on us both!).

And I posted my own name in there, god knows why looking4hope Might be time to turn in.

Super good luck theotherendofthesockportal, they sound bloody lovely, sure it'll be a great new step for you.

I know why you posted your name AnneLovesGilbert - because your DH is also a keeper

theotherendofthesockportal Best of luck with your new job! Take it one day at a time and enjoy the little things in life. It would be my first one as well and I've had a really rough couple of weeks, but I'm trying to focus on the positives in my life.

On my way to work and surprisingly, I still feel hopeful about the whole thing. It will probably just last for one day, but I'm happy with that. Planning to POAS tomorrow, hoping to see a BFN (oh, the hurtful irony), 2 weeks after my MC. I still have brown spotting (sorry, TMI), so fingers crossed.

Happy Friday, hope you all have a cracking day today.

Hey all, I'm a newbie to this thread - thanks @looking4hope for inviting me! I'm 32 and my lovely husband is 39 - we've been married for just over a year. I have PCOS and a fairly regular but varying cycle (28-33 days). Miscarried our first in October (a MMC at just over 11 weeks) and had an ERPC. I seem to be ovulating normally but no luck so far. To compound matters both of my best friends are pregnant - one due on my birthday, the other due the day I was before the miscarriage - which makes me feel like everyone else is pregnant except me. Not true of course but hard to deal with.

AF started yesterday which was pretty upsetting (even though I knew it was coming) but we're off to a Burns Night ceilidh this weekend so I'm going to allow myself some wine and maybe even a wee Ibuprofen (I have a rare form of arthritis in my back which can only be treated with anti-inflammatories so when I'm pregnant or trying I have to just put up with the pain - so an ibuprofen is a treat for me!). Then back on the TTC wagon! Fingers crossed for cycle 4.

Thanks for being here, ladies - I don't know how I would have got through my miscarriage without Mumsnet. My husband is absolutely wonderful and some of my friends were incredibly supportive, but there's nothing like talking to another woman who's been there for comfort.

@theotherendofthesockportal Can I ask what dose of Vitamin D you're taking? I already take a high dose as my mum has MS and there's some evidence that it can be hereditary and high dose Vitamin D can help prevent / delay the onset of symptoms. But I've been wondering if I should stop while TTC.

@emsler I was on a 12 week course of 50,000 IU of D3. Its is worth mentioning that most people in the UK have a vitamin D deficiency due to our low sunlight hours. Anything below 50 in your blood results is deficient to warrant treatment even if your borderline. Even if you are in the normal range you should top over the counter with a low level.

Vitamin D deficiency is only really started to be understood in the U.K. For me I am high risk as I am very, very pale - I have proper Celtic skin and red hair. I have a history of skin cancer in my family and I have burnt when putting the washing out on the line, for this reason I tend to hide from the sun.

I also think my deficiency was triggered after I went travelling in Australia and came back to the U.K in the snow one January.

I do tend to ramble about this, please free to ask if you have any questions

@theotherendofthesockportal 50,000 IU? Was that daily? Woah. I take 5,000 IU every day which I wasn't doing when I first conceived but started after the miscarriage. Totally agree that Vitamin D is so important. I've read lots of research suggesting Vitamin D deficiency could be linked to many auto-immune diseases, not just MS - certainly MS is more prevalent in areas which get less sun. And an ex of mine had terrible health issues which were completely cured after Vitamin D injections (the cause was his extremely low Vitamin D levels as confirmed by his GP after a lot of investigation).

Welcome emsler, so sorry about your loss It can certainly feel like everyone's pregnant, I do know what you mean!

I say go crazy on the wine and anti-inflammatories when you can, enjoy your weekend, sounds fab!

Fx for your BFN looking4hope. Even though I was desperately hoping for mine and knew it was an essential part of the process, I still felt shit. So go easy.

Thanks @annelovesgilbert - and I adore your username, my ultimate favourite literary romance!

He was my first love @emsler

Followed by Heathcliff and Mr Darcy, obviously, but he was the first

Hi emsler, great to see you here. Hope you have an amazing weekend, enjoy the wine (and the ibuprofen).

I'm surrounded by pregnant women at work and I do find it difficult, but I've started to 'accept' it. And as other ladies on here said, you never know what happened behind closed doors before they got pregnant.

Counting the minutes until I leave the office, first days back have been a struggle. Looking forward to a wine-filled weekend

@emsler I took the vitamin D I was prescribed once a week for 12 weeks. My course ran out last week, I will find out if I need more after my blood test on Monday.

@theotherendofthesockportal Ahh once a week! Okay that makes more sense. Fingers crossed your levels are back to normal. :)

Does anyone else feel guilty trying so soon after a miscarriage.... I want to try asap but feel as if I should be grieving over the loss?

Probably me being silly but wondered if anyone had the same thoughts?

Hi girls

Ovia app says start of fertile week today. Just used clearblue test & no ovulation - always deflates me. When I read the instructions it says for a 35 day cycle I should start testing 18!days after day 1. So that takes me to 26th Jan.

Will I just keep using the sticks this week???

Amanda
Do you look for any other signs of ovulation? Ewcm etc? My cycle has been irregular in the past and I found the book taking control of your fertility very interesting. I temped and watched out for ewcm and it turned out that I was ov'ing earlier in cycle then the standard 14 day. I would keep opk'ing for this month.
Also I found ovulation sticks very difficult, even the month i did the one with the smiley flashing faces etc, it didn't seem to pick up on my body properly at all. Anyway what I am trying to say is that it might be worth looking for more then one sign! All the best.

Hi all - I had a miscarriage last year and thinking about TTC but feel nervous about it all happening again.

Is anyone taking daily aspirin while TTC or after getting a positive test? I've heard it causes no harm and could help?

Aw thank u miami81.

Yeh been looking for that too. I will have a look at that book.

I have like left pelvic pain wondering if I maybe ovulate earlier than predicted! Aw who knows 😂 Tested again tomorrow and it was low but ovia all says 7.5/10 lol!!! Feel a bit demented x

So a load of cheapie pregnancy tests and OPKs arrived this morning plus a thermometer.

Pregnancy test came back negative which is a good thing I guess. OPK for me always seems dark but I definitely can't be ovulating on CD 8 after miscarriage and it Is slightly lighter than the control line. I will keep this one as a negative baseline!

Tried temping this morning to get Into the swing of things and it came up as 36.02 then 36.45... Quite a gap! Not sure if this will work out for me but worth a try I suppose.

I have asked on another thread but out of interest is anyone else's OPK this dark throughout the month?

Hope everyone is well!

Hi everyone, would it be ok if I joined?

Unfortunately this is all very recent for me (scan at our local EPU confirmed Tuesday that poor little one had stopped growing at 5-6 weeks and no heartbeat), would have been 9 weeks now. Had an ERPC yesterday so still recovering at the moment but it's comforting to read everyone's stories and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it all and I've hardly cried, but have a horrible feeling it will hit me when I go back to work next week, nobody knows about it apart from close family. This was our first pregnancy so would like to start TTC again but have been advised by hospital to wait 3 months it's going to feel like forever.

Hope everyone is well

Owl

So sorry to hear your news... I found that I completely broke down one day and since then I have been feeling much more positive. I'm back to work on Monday and might struggle if everyone is super nice to me as they all knew I was expecting due to my job.

Anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but unless there's any medical problems there's no reason not to try again.... Although if you wait a month it's easier to date the pregnancy. I decided not to wait as it was comforting for me to try again asap but everyone is different!

It will get better. Hang on in there!!

Amanda remember you'll ovulate at the end of the fertile week, not at the start of it. You're fertile 5-6 days before ovulation and 24 hours afterwards. Sperm can live up to 7 days whereas the egg only lasts 24 hours so it's either sperm which has hung on waiting or found the egg as it arrived.

So yes I'd keep using the sticks this week.

88claire I've recently had my MC and I won't be TTC for a while, but I just wanted to tell you that you should start TTC whenever you feel ready. There's no right or wrong moment, it just depends on how you feel. Some find it easier to process if they have something to focus on (i.e. TTC), others want to grieve for a while. Just make sure you're ready and don't forget to be positive, that's the most important thing.

Regarding temping - I really recommend the 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' book, it will help you understand your body and the whole temping process. You need to take your temp at the same time each morning, before getting out of bed. So just grab your thermometer when the alarm goes off, put it under your tongue (I read that's the most accurate way to do it if you do it orally) and stay still until it's finished. As soon as you get up, your temp will increase and it won't be accurate anymore. When you took your temp today, there was a gap because it varies a lot throughout the day. There are a lot of variables in the temping process, so it's better to read the book to understand it. In the meantime, if you have any questions just PM me. I charted my temps for around 2 cycles before I got my BFP last year and I want to start again, it sounds complicated but you get the hang of it really quickly. You need to keep an eye on your CM as well.

Owl1011, so sorry for your loss. I joined just a few days ago (it's been 2 weeks since my 10w MC) and these amazing ladies have already helped a lot and cheered me up.

If you need more time off work, do take it. Even if you only realise after you return to work. And just be kind to yourself and take it easy.

My midwife told me to start TTC after the first post-MC AF, but some ladies prefer to start right away. If there are no medical issues (e.g. not everything was eliminated) and you feel ready, there's no reason to wait 3 months. It all depends on how you feel.

In my humble opinion, it's better to wait until after your first AF to make sure that your uterus has enough time to get back to normal, but there are rumours that you're most fertile after your MC. I've also decided to have a few blood tests done to check my hormone levels - just to make sure there aren't any major imbalances that make sustaining a pregnancy more difficult (e.g. not enough progesterone).