TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Onto cycle 11 today. I am feeling increasingly glum every time this happens and starting to feel like the longest trying person on the normal TTC threads. I'm not, I'm sure, but it's a bit shit.

Thank you sugarplum

We conceived on our first try and I've had numerous gynae and endocrine problems so we were completely shocked. It did seem too good to be true but we will be more prepared next time. We've learnt a lot and I know to reduce my pregnancy test purchasing!! The miscarriage in itself was straightforward and physically fine. The emotional side was horrendous.

I think I'll be ready to go back to work on Monday I'm just dreading telling everyone there is no baby... Im hoping my boss has done it for me. I had to tell them as I'm a children's nurse and had to stay away from the infectious patients and heavy lifting.

We will probably start trying in a couple of weeks... We thought about using protection for a while but seemed stupid when we want a baby!

Just had my first glass of wine in 3 weeks. Gosh it was needed!!

Bertiebotts

I'm sure ive seen you elsewhere on the forums. Thinking of you and I really hope things go your way soon!

Yes probably, I spend too much time here! Though I've noticed recently a poster called BertieBottsbum, we're not the same person (just in case people were confused!)

We also conceived on our first try and I felt quite shocked and unready so it's cruel that it's now taking so long. Just the way it goes, I suppose.

Bertiebotts

My nurse today who did my bloods said that she sees so many first pregnancy miscarriages and she believes it's the body's way of doing a 'test-run'.

Also my friend who I'm seeing tomorrow had a beautiful healthy little boy after 4 miscarriages and her completely losing hope

Ahh I'm a nurse too. My ward manager suggested that she broke the news to everyone whilst I was off, and I'm so glad she did tbh. Would have been so hard going back and people asking how was the pregnancy etc!
I remember my first glass of wine after my mc! It felt so wrong and I had to ask my dp to reassure me that it was ok to drink it (as weird as that sounds) xx

Oh Littlemisssugarplum88, I didn't want to make you sad! So sorry for your loss. It's even worse when you've already heard the heartbeat, the private scan I had at 9+5, the doctor's words ("It's a perfect baby, very strong heartbeat and look how it moves etc.") and the happiness I saw in my DP's eyes still haunt me. My mind just can't comprehend how 4 days later, there wasn't any heartbeat anymore. I'm trying to take it day by day, telling to myself it's okay to cry if I feel the need to. I was on the train tonight, reading a few posts on Mumsnet. I shed a few tears - people probably thought I was crazy. Sending you a big, warm virtual hug. It will be okay, we're strong and have each other when we feel we can't cope anymore.

On a side note: I haven't slept properly for the last 2 weeks (ever since this all started). I fall asleep quite easily now, but suddenly wake up at 2/3/4 am and just can't go back to sleep. I know it's the sadness / anxiety etc. but just wondering if anyone else has had this problem and what you've done about it. I've tried the Night Time tea from Pukka, but it doesn't work... Hugs and kisses xx

Today all I can think about is that I miss someone I never got to meet

My mmc happened over the weekend and I can feel my body returning to its pre-pregnancy state. I honestly didn't realise how much it had taken over my body and mind.

I'm trying so hard to feel positive, I have feeling it's going to be a uphill battle.

It wasn't my first pregnancy :( I have a DS from a previous relationship. It's making me a bit anxious because I've never gone this long without getting pregnant before. I got pregnant first not-really-trying cycle with XP and then I got pregnant first cycle with DH, miscarried, two cycles after that and then I was pregnant again, and nothing since then, this is the sixth cycle.

But that said I was quite often crap about contraception in my teens and DH and I used withdrawal for contraception for ages when we were too lazy to use condoms and I never got pregnant from any of those encounters so probably it was just a fluke the other times.

What's bothering me too is now I'm cramping a lot and clearly AF is here because I get big rushes when I sit on the toilet but I'm not actually really bleeding at other times so it's a bit confusing. Had BFN yesterday so it's not like it's a chemical/early mc either, it's definitely just a normal period.

Welcome to the newcomers, sorry for your losses and that you all find yourselves here though, it's a very supportive group.

Sorry AF has turned up Bertie. It's hard when you feel like it is taking a longer time than previously to get pregnant, with DD I got pregnant first try and when we started ttc this time it took 6 cycles and then mc so I know how you are feeling. Try to remember though that it is totally normal for it to take up to a year in normal fertile couples. Could you try acupuncture or reflexology to help with the stress ttc is causing you as well as from a fertility angle? I've found acupuncture really great at helping me relax and try to find a more positive mindset about ttc.

So I'm finally past 6 weeks which is when I'd lost both previous pregnancies by so trying to stay positive but do have this fear that I'm going to be told I've had a mmc particularly as I'm taking the progesterone supplements. Have an appt with a mc consultant today which I booked before I got pregnant again, going to go along incaee he advises I take/do anything else, it's private so wondering whether he will scan too, if not, I have a follow up scan at the epu tomorrow. How are you other pregnant ladies holding up? It's such a horribly anxious time these early weeks isn't it.

Hi there,
I'd like to join please - been lurking for a while and you're all so supportive. I had a miscarriage in December, at 13 wks 2 days. It was the day before my first scan.

I really want to start trying again but finding it hard to move forwards. I have a DD already and was lucky to conceive straight away then and after a couple of cycles with my previous pregnancy.

In my fertile week now but I'm just struggling to focus on that and instead I keep thinking about my pregnancy that ended, where I'd be now etc. Like lots of us there are many people around me with newborns and pregnant - I have three friends due when I was. I'm sad, angry and just not moving on at all.

Has anyone tried counselling? I was told about a support group run by the epu unit at the hospital went to, but it's quite hard for me to get there and I don't know if it would help. I also can't seem to get past thinking about what happened on that day... I had a awful A&E experience.

Hope those in early pregnancy are coping well, must be such a worrying time after going through what we all have.

Sooner apparently these groups are fantastic, I have friends who rave about them. They will give some different things to think about. I think that the anger is a positive outlet.

If you don't want to DTD this week then don't, explain to your partner that you need more time.

I have a friend due 4 weeks earlier than me, I bumped into her just after her 20 week scan and she was so elated and emotional after multiple losses herself and IVF and I was surprised about how happy for her I found myself and actually it gave me hope that I might be in her position myself. You may find that you feel similar with your friends in time?

I have a question about AF, I had an EMRC 5 weeks ago (14 weeks) and was pleased to have what I thought was the start of my period last Monday, 4 weeks after surgery and I thought that my cycle had started but I have only had light bleeding, over 10 days, normal AF is 4 days of moderate.

Is this normal? all I have read about is heavy first period not lighter.

We want to TTC after 1st AF so now clueless about Ovulation tracking.

mistletoe I got told by my doctor that AF would either be heavy or really light. I would suggest OPKs for this next cycle, I didn't use any and missed my window as I thought it would be later and I ovulated much earlier than predicted. If this cycle is a wash out then I'm going to start using OPKs.

My body is fucking with me as I have been having tingling in my boobs - the kind you have when your breastfeeding. I'm not even in the 2WW. Gah, so frustrating. I never went to my check up to see if everything was clear down there so am going to go on Monday.

littlemiss I had the same reaction to wine when I have my first glass after MC - really sort of bittersweet.

Lots of unmumsnetty hugs going out to all of you.

I have period type pains so I'm hoping my first af will arrive any time. Started worrying that it'd never return (silly I know as it's only been 4 and a half weeks since my mmc). We have a 3 night spa break in a couple of weeks so I was hoping for it to have come and gone by then. No-one likes spa days whilst af is around
First weigh in at sw tonight after joining last week so hoping for a little loss (even though it's likely to be week), but we will see!
I hope you ladies are all ok today xxx

Thanks Mistletoetastic, good to hear positive feedback about groups. Might give the feb meeting a try.

It's an odd combination - I'm truly happy for my friends and can actually cope fine talking about their pregnancies with them, it's just when I'm alone I find my mind always goes back to thinking about the plans I had for my pregnancy and baby.

My first period after mc started v light - just light spotting really for 4/5 days, then went into a heavy period but that was same length as my usual ones. I use the cheap OPKs from ebay/amazon and found them helpful to use alongside tracker.

Will see how I feel about dtd later - DH is great, happy to wait for me to be ready. In a way it would maybe help to focus on ttc to have something else to think about. How romantic!

Limbo land seems to be over! Went for dildo cam number 10 this morning. The bit they could see last week seemed to have disappeared so definitely isn't a new pregnancy (I never thought it was anyway) and was most likely retained tissue that seems to have come away on its own. Got to go back for another blood test a week on Saturday to doubly make sure. And going to be good and wait for a proper period before TTC again for once. It'll be nice to have a month off the dreaded TWW at least.

So I shall be hitting the wine this weekend! Going to the Lakes for a long weekend with DH's lovely family from tomorrow night. Did the internet shop for it the other day and ordered 24 bottles of wine, 4 bottles of prosecco and a bottle of gin. (Shared between 9 over 4 nights, we're not all massive alcos I promise!)

Sounds like you have a lovely weekend ahead Emily. We're going in May with a group of friends and I can't wait! Enjoy yourself xx

Really glad you're out of limbo and have happy things to look forward to emily.

Welcome lovely newbies x

I'm still in my fertile week. Beyond exhausted, not a clue why, but I've been as shattered since af as I was in early pregnancy. DH is cooking and I'm working and sleeping!

I've found my feelings have been a lot more stable the last month or so.

Having said that, for some reason last night as I was nodding off in bed (having snoozed for hours on the sofa) I had awful vivid flashbacks to the bleeding I had in the days between the scan when we found out, and the surgery (the medical management failed). Every time I closed my eyes I saw myself sitting on the loo bleeding and trying to make sense of losing my baby. I worried at the time that this would happen, flashbacks to the pain or fear, but it didn't till last night.

When I let myself go there I pretty much just know I couldn't cope if it happened again. I've had two early mcs which were sad, but getting to 12+5 and then finding out it was a mmc was a whole other load of awfulness. I'm lining up some mindfulness techniques my DM gave me for when I hopefully get a BFP to try and preempt the anxiety that's new and probably just hanging out somewhere below the surface!

Felt a bit wobbly today but working from home which has been nice and I'm not wasting this fertile week so looking forward to a cosy evening with DH.

Welcome to the new people! Sorry you are here, but given the sad circumstances I think this forum is great. Two weeks past medical management (mmc at 10+4) nothing much is happening here, but I find a lot of comfort in that we are many people sharing the same experience (although, I wish we didn't have to obviously). I am also very thankful to those of you, both the newly pregnant ones and the ones ttc again, who let us in on their journey. Somehow I feel that it helps me prepare for what is coming. Emily, I am glad to hear that things seem to settle and that limbo is over. It must have been some hard weeks for you on top of it all. Well deserved wine for you And Anne, I loved to read your post about how you found that you loved your dh even more after what you have been through. If anything, that is the only positive thing I take from this sad experience myself. Anyway, the best to you all, and fx for those of you in the early weeks of a new pregnancy. You are so brave!!

Hi ladies, just thought I'd pop my head out the sand and say hello

Welcome to the newcomers I'm sorry you've had to join us here but I'm sure you realise by now just how lovely these ladies all are

Emily I'm sorry things have turned out the way they have for you. I hope you've managed to get your head round it all now you're not in limbo anymore

I'm having a weird one today, we got our first probably not the last positive opk yesterday of this cycle. My oh is really pushing for the whole ttc thing this time. Infact in the whole 4 and a half years of ttc he's never been so enthusiastic. He's more of a laid back, if it happens it happens kind of guy, so in other words the complete opposite to me so it's sort of thrown me a bit, it's also made me think a lot and I didn't actually realise just how terrified I am of falling pg again. Obviously I want to more than anything but I'm so scared. How can that be though? The one thing you want more than anything and yet you're scared of it? Doesn't make sense right?

Hope everyone is doing ok x

Bit of a random question here...

I'm not sure if anyone has an experience with fertility supplements... I was taking agnus castus, raspberry leaf tea and omega 3 (plus the superdrug own prenatal vitamins) and wondered when I could start taking these again after a miscarriage?

I have stupidly long cycles (up to 54 days) and am trying to regulate them a bit. The good news is I did ovulate as I fell PG first cycle of trying.

It's just very frustrating as I never really knew how pregnant I was when I miscarried.

Thanks in advance if anyone has any words of wisdom or suggestions!

I think you could start taking them now Claire if you wanted to

littlemiss has AF shown for you yet? Hope she turns up soon.

AF has just finished for me so waiting out my FW. This was my 3rd AF since mmc so our 3rd go at TTC this cycle. Hoping it will be 3rd time lucky!

Anna, I have the period pains but I have literally had like 1 drop of blood in a pad all day and very dilute blood on wiping, that's it. Maybe tomorrow it'll start getting a bit heavier?! It's horrible not knowing what's going on with your body.
Ooh won't be long now until your fertile week. Fingers crossed you have a lucky month xx

@88claire the nurse I saw on Monday after I had my miscarriage over the weekend said that I could start taking my vitamins again now