TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Sorry that was a long post!

Newbie to mumsnet here so still finding my way around.

Anyway, my vitals:

TTC#2
Cycle 1
Age 36
AF Sunday 15th

I had a miscarriage at six weeks back in December 2015. We had just moved to the Netherlands and agreed to remove my Mirena (after eight years!) and see what happened. Well, I fell pregnant immediately - that was a surprise to all. Unfortunately I only had one week of knowing and as you can imagine, despite being such an early MC I was still heartbroken.

I came back on my periods pretty quickly but we decided to hold off trying for a while as we bought a house and have spent the last year undergoing major renovations. It's now near the stage of being more like a home than a construction site, so we're allowing nature to take it's course again... well, with a good amount of ov tracking on my part in the process!

My sister and mum got pregnant stupidly easily, but they were a lot younger than I am now... part of me is hoping it's in the genes, especially given how quickly I fell pregnant last time. But then we had a few close calls over the last year and nada, so maybe not. We'll see.

Hating the TWW already!

Welcome Hanna, sorry for your loss x

Welcome Hanna sorry you're having to join the club.

I just took a pregnancy test to see what my hormone levels are doing and it's negative already so looks like my body has done the job properly. Now it's just the wait for AF to see what happens with my cycles - been advised to wait until I have one period before trying again although not sure if I'm ready yet. I do keep reading you're super fertile after a miscarriage but not sure how long for or if that's even true!

That's good rum, it's a crappy part of the process but hope you feel it's a step to moving on physically. My first af was 4 weeks after the surgery and lasted 5 days, wasn't too heavy or painful.

I was super fertile after my previous early mc, was pregnant again 6 weeks after. So depending on how you're feeling, either jump in or try and be careful! Not sure how long it lasts and everything I've read is anecdotal but it was certainly the case for me.

Thanks annie
I think I'm just going to wait for AF then play it by ear and see how me and DH feel

Thanks Flash your words are very encouraging and you're completely right in that everyone deals with things differently and there is no right or wrong way. I'm hoping my cycle will be back to normal, but only time will tell with that one!

The thing I'm most mindful of at the moment is that I like to talk about things in order to deal with them. I've just gone back to work so have a completely new audience to talk through things with, yet I feel I'm probably sharing a bit too often and that people really don't want to know and are just being polite by asking. I wish I could stop my mouth running away with the whole story before my brain has had chance to kick in

Welcome Hanna sorry that you are here due to your experiences, but hope you find some support among the lovely ladies here

Sarah for me talking about it was cathartic right from the beginning. I felt I had nothing to be ashamed of, I'd been through something huge and I wanted to be able to be open about it, so I told our closest friends and if people asked me anything I told them.

One thing I've learned when it comes to fertility/babies, if people ask about any of that stuff and they don't want the real answer, they shouldn't ask at all! So talk away!

Flash is right Sarah you have to take it at your own pace and your body will work itself out eventually, when you feel you're ready then go for it!

We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant and I'm so glad we didn't as it meant I didn't have to untell everyone as well, I've just been telling people about the MC as and when it comes up, mostly people who keep asking me when I'll be pregnant and "guessing" that I'm pregnant when I say I'm feeling off or switching from coffee to peppermint tea...stops them in their tracks rather! We got married last September, so everyone at work had bets on that I'd be announcing a pregnancy before Christmas, well I would have loved to, but people badgering on about how I'm not pregnant when I have been and lost a baby is awful, so I don't mind making them feel a little guilty about it! ha!

Having said that, I have pretty much convinced myself that I'm pregnant, will be testing in the morning...probably get a BFN now to ruin my weekend, but what the hell, I need to know now!

whyhastherumgone You are def are more fertile, got pregnant straight after both miscarriages!!!

Whether it sticks is the question!!!!!! I have my dd which is some comfort but 3rd time lucky, be nice for her to have a sibling!!

I still don't feel that pregnant.. bad back which means I don't sleep but apart from the Pamela Anderson new cleavage I feel fine!!!!

Thank you all for your kind words of congratulations and encouragement. I think I just need to take things one day at and see what happens. I'm visiting a friend this weekend so hopefully that'll be a good distraction. I left first thing this morning so will ring the secretary first thing on Monday morning.

To follow on from previous posts. I have always found talking about it and DH and I have been very open with our close friends. I agree that if people ask they have to be prepared for all answers, even if it is not a positive one. And if the answer makes them feel uncomfortable then hopefully they'll not be so nosy in the future!

We hadn't told anyone (apart from my mum) that I was pregnant, but because I ended up having surgery (ectopic) we obviously had to tell more people, then as I was signed off work very suddenly for just over 2 weeks I've found it easier to be open about why. I'm not very good at being vague, too honest for my own good!

Thanks all for the advice, I've lurked on Mumsnet for a long time without ever posting, but you ladies on this board have been a big support to me these last few weeks - thank you

Welcome Hanna

I was also fairly open with people about what had happened with work colleagues and friends. I didn't bring it up in large groups but when I had quiet 1:1 chats with people I generally told them as it felt like it was such a life changing/difficult experience I just wanted to be open with people and not hide anything.

I'm having a bit of a difficult day. The cramps and back ache got better throughout the morning but I had quite a lot of cramps and twinges this afternoon/evening. As this is what happened last time I find it hard not to just go into automatic panic mode and expect the worse. It was so hard to deal with whilst being at work as well. Didn't actually do any work whatsoever.

Hi hanna
Sorry to see you here. Wishing you luck on this journey.
Star a friend of mine had two mc in a row after having had one successful pregnancy and followed by another successful one. She said that the early pregnancy symptoms were all very similar for her. At no point was she able to tell the difference if that makes sense. So just try and stay positive. Easier said then done i know.

Thanks miami that is reassuring. Just keep reminding myself that cramps and twinges are a perfectly normal symptom in early pregnancy. It's just my body stretching and growing.

Do you mind if I join? I have found a lot of comfort in this thread the previous days. I had a mmc this Monday, we found out at 10 weeks, but there had not been life since week 8. I had medical management Tuesday, which I think went well, and physically I feel fine already (went to the gym today). But on the psychological side, things are different. There are all these plans I didn't even think I had, that now needs to be reset. My partner and I are lucky to have a DD already, so that helps. But I am 40, and we really want another, so feel I have little time (and probably few good eggs) left. Anyway, sorry for a long post, and congratulations to the recent BFPs!

Welcome notparticularly and I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Its good to hear that you're feeling fine physically but don't push yourself too hard.

Defo agreeing that everyone deals in diff ways and don't always ft in the "normal" pattern! We agreed to wait a few months to start ttc again but changed our minds a fortnight later and haven't been tracking ovulation etc except for this week, been doing opk every day as it's not 11 weeks with no period, decided to do a hpt at same time and got a faint line but not trusting it as of yet, will do another tomor with FMU

This journey is hard for all.of us but I'm glad I was pointed in the direction of this group :)

Welcome newbies sorry for your losses and that you find yourselves here

Congrats Emily! quiet yay and softly clapping over here!

I've decided to stay off Facebook for a bit. Just went on there and my mil has a status "ooo boy or girl we find out in 2 weeks" so obviously I read through the comments and everyone's going along saying "what? Who's pregnant?" My young sil puts scan pics up and so all the congrats come out. I'm thinking yay baby bombed again Then... Only joking... We're getting a fucking dog why am I so angry and hurt by this? It's ridiculous!

Anyone heard from MrsY87? Hope you are doing ok 😊

Thelegendofbeans- took your advise and didn't get the puppy!! Def think it's the best decision.

Well ladies I've been waking up throughout the night and have just found out this is a pregnancy sign.. hope it doesn't last 🙄

The dp and I had a bit of a row last night, think it's my fault as I've been so emotional, I cried with my ex dd dad came to pick her up, he doesn't know I'm pregnant but I guess it's the realisation that life is changing, and we still get on so well, he has somebody else too, I think part of us will always love one another and I think the dd is our bond. Don't get my wrong I do love my dp but he wasn't my first love and he 5 years younger than me so can be hard work sometimes... sorry to waffle on.. just don't have anyone else I can talk to about these things xxx

Finally gave in and tested this morning and got a really strong BFP! I thought I would be terrified but I'm really excited! Fingers crossed for an early September baby (though now worrying that I won't be able to take my DS to his first day in new class at school for autumn term - my mind really does race ahead with itself sometimes!!)

I have no idea how to date this though as no af since mc end of November...bleeding started on 29th November and mva op was on 2nd December, had stopped bleeding by 4th December...how have the ladies who've got a bfp straight after an mc dated in the past? I'm going to do a cb digital tomorrow which will hopefully give me an idea but I'm thinking of dating from date of first bleed for now as if that were a period which would make me 5w 4d...will give me a call in a week or two for booking in.

rose I've had lots of cramping and some back ache the last couple of days, as I didn't get this with last pregnancy I'm taking it as a good sign that baby is clinging on nicely!

Welcome notparticularly so sorry for your loss, your story is very similar to mine, I found out at 10 weeks that baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks..and here I am with a bfp 5 weeks later, so it can be done!

Have a great weekend everyone, I'm off to dismantle the Christmas tree now (all that's left of Christmas) and probably google pregnancy symptoms!!

Sorry massive post!

Congratulations Olivers , what great news! Fingers crossed for you.

I just did a digital test (not a weeks indicator though) and it said pregnant so no doubt about that and time to stop thinking I imagined the cross on yesterday's test. I'm still having brown spotting on and off, mainly just on wiping, so can't help thinking this one is destined to failure or maybe a chemical pregnancy.

At least there's the excuse of doing dry January to cover up for not drinking at the moment!

Morning ladies!!

Congrats Olivers!

Well I'm on cd30. 2 days late. Still no sign of af. Did a Superdrug test with fmu today and got a bfn 😕
I'm very rarely late. I still don't feel like my period is coming. Nothing like I normally do.
Is it possible I'm pregnant? Even though I'm still getting bfns?

I've got a feeling that I ovulated late. But we dtd both before, on and after the day I suspect I ovulated late, which was over New Years. So I guess it's possible?
I don't know. I'm confused.
I'm feeling really full in my abdomen. My sense of smell seems stronger than normal. And for the past week my OH has said I'm chucking off loads of heat which is very unlike me as I'm normally always cold!

Fingers crossed for us all, ladies.
So nice to see a few of you with BFPs!
Sending lots of baby dust your way xxxx

Congratulations olivers! Excellent news!

I had a Drs appointment this morning. I tried to talk to her about my anxiety and cramps but found her a bit dismissive. I'm being referred to the antenatal team and she's putting on about my history and anxiety to request an earlier appointment but I don't know if I'll get it. She also gave me the number of a free counselling service which I really will think about calling. I just need someone to tell me that everything I'm experiencing is ok and that this time it won't go wrong.

Off for lunch with friends now so hat will be a pleasant distraction