TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Hi luv.

So I work as a nurse shift work etc and I have been told BBT doesn't work for because of the shifts.

I used clearblue ovulation but they suggested that I had 2 periods following misscarridge.

I think it's because I don't actually know the length of my cycles. So prob ovulation kit will be best for me the now until I know this.

I'm glad your appointment was positive Anne and the Dr was supportive. Fingers crossed you get your BFP soon and can put the plan intonation action.

Baby aspirin is just normal low dose aspirin 75mg a day. You can buy it over the counter for pennies. My friend who is in obstetrics and gynaecology doctor recommended that I start taking it as soon as I get a BFP. She said it definitely won't do any harm but may well help. Hope that helps people.

Anne
Thanks so much for the update on your appointment. I am so nervous for mine, I just want there to be an answer. I am glad for you that you found out that fetus was perfect and she was a little girl, I would find that very nice and comforting somehow (and a bit more real) I suppose at least that means that there is a definite physical issue and your guy sounds really determined to crack it for you.
Basically no matter what anyone says to me I am definitely taking the baby aspirin next time (unless my consultant has a solution like yours). Holly my sis took it after 11 weeks but that was because she had pre eclampsia with first two pregnancies.

Littlemiss I hope your day went ok today? I found just talking about it and being honest helped and made it less awkward, but as I previously mentioned, I do tend to overshare and that's just my way of dealing with it! Hopefully it wasn't too awkward for you and you can get back into the swing of things soon.

Flash thank you. I know why you mean about not knowing anyone in real life, ectopic does seem to be pretty rare and having had both an ectopic and an early MC I think they are different. I was almost grateful for having had surgery and therefore an enforced time off work as I'd normally throw myself back into it and put on a brace face which doesn't really help with the whole grieving process.

• what
• brave

Fat fingers and auto correct!

oliversmummy26 No worries, how has things been in the world of ttc? I've just found out I'm pregnant again... 3 times in 4 months... quite a shock to the system!! Taking each day as it comes but have mixed emotions all the time.. last night I sat in the bath sobbing!!!!

Hope everyone doing well?

sarah I know what you mean about the enforced time. To be honest, I thought I felt fine once I had started to feel physically better, but I think now I'm 8 months on, it probably took me 6 months before I felt totally physically normal, and only after I reached my due date have I felt ready to try again and felt able to process the sadness. I think it's so hard not knowing why it happened as it means there's no precautions you can take.

evening everyone. I haven't had a chance to catch up on everything I've missed but just wanted to say hi and hope everyone is doing ok. Rhodes I think I would be the same.

I've just got my all clear from the EPU - had a scan that showed MC is complete do my body managed to do it naturally which I'm relieved about. Now feel OK but a bit weird too - not sure how I should I feel about actively trying (this was my first pregnancy and a complete surprise but am 32 so thinking I should get a move on!). Everytime I think about it I'm filled with anxiety at the prospect of either not being able to conceive or having problems again.
Think I will just take it a day at a time. I don't think DH is keen to throw ourselves into it at the moment so a break without thinking of babies or anything might be good. Will see how we go.
Now I'm just starting the wait for AF I got told it could be up to seven weeks which will take me well into February. Fingers crossed my cycle goes back to normal quickly.
Hope everyone is having a good night.

You can do BBT even if you work shifts. It's not as accurate but it still shows patterns. Take your temperature when you wake up after your longest stretch of sleep. Or, yes, OPKs can be useful but you use up loads more if you're not sure when to aim for.

You won't know when you're fertile unless you know when ovulation is/was. Likewise you won't know exactly when your period is due unless you track ovulation in some way. Just counting isn't enough because every woman's cycle is different. Do you know how long your cycles normally are at least? Are they the same or different every month?

Just leaving work now Sarah - I'm shattered, not used to still being awake at this time lol. My day went better than expected, it wasn't awkward at all and felt like I've never been away. How are you doing xx

Glad to hear your day went ok little you must be relieved it's over

Thanks bertie. I don't know iv never tracked my periods but they where always regular like had one every month. So my last period was 5th December but that was my first following misscarridge (October 18) it was really heavy.

Tried to track ovulation this month but not had another period yet so not sure of cycle length which obv I need to know so I can track ovulation! I feel like a of an idiot here 🙈

So I will order ovulation kits & track my cycle? Suppose it would take a few periods before I know my cycles x

Good morning ladies,
a little more brown spotting last night and some very mild cramps today..feeling a little bit sick, but I think that's because my jeans are too tight after over indulging at Christmas!
I can't remember who was asking about baby aspirin (sorry!) but the theory is, that as it thins the blood it reduces the risk of blood clots (which some people suffer from in pregnancy, as the vessels in the placenta are so tiny early on, a clot can stop everything getting to the baby, which can cause MC) without having tests to see if you have the problem (I think it can be referred to as sticky blood) there's no way of knowing if that's what caused your MCs but the general consensus seems to be that it can't hurt and it may well help, so give it a go as soon as you get your bfp!
I'm definitely going to give it a whirl next time, so will see...I do wonder if perhaps it had something to do with my MC. My last pregnancy was so easy, and I was 5 years younger and 3 stone lighter, so I do wonder if being heavier has something to do with it?? Anyway, as everyone says, it can't hurt to try!

Thanks all, some light at the end of a tough couple of months and some hope.

StarWish I was referred through the EPU that handled my MMC, he’s our local RMC whizz, we’re seeing him on the NHS but he also does private. We’re in the South East. Happy to PM about the details if you’re interested.

I was thinking about what someone else at the hospital mentioned a while back and done some reading - I’m sure now it’s Clexane he prescribes and there’s actually quite a lot about it out there. (Why didn’t DH or I just ask him?!)

Used to help implantation in some, and to prevent MC in others. Seems some people inject Clexane and also take aspirin but my Doc said no to aspirin so I guess it depends on what they find in tests.

Miami, glad it’s helpful. Let’s compare notes when you've had yours. Have you got yours booked in emily?

I don’t have any answers yet but I feel so reassured there’s a plan in place whatever the outcome of the tests. Got to be worth a go! Just need to get af to hurry the hell up and then crack on TTC.

The doc raced through everything at such speed and covered so much that I’m glad I’d prepped a bit beforehand and had my dates at the front of my mind. Cycle length, dates of BFPs, last smear test etc. Also the questions we had.

I don’t know if anyone else has had this, but the first thing he said after the pleasantries was that I have the same chance of mc with any future pregnancy as anyone else does - 15%. My age, weight and general health give me a normal/low chance of it going wrong in future and a lot of chance of a healthy full term outcome. That, of everything we covered, put a huge smile on DH’s face

Yes I've been taking the aspirin, but not every day, keep forgetting!!
Out shopping today which puts me on edge as my last mc was when I was Xmas shopping 😩
I wonder how they will date my pregnancy... as I've not had a period since oct!

Fx AF is with you soon whyhastherumgone, mine took 4 weeks post op and was normal heaviness. It was nice when it was there as things started to feel a bit more normal.

oliversmummy, are you planning to test? Symptoms certainly sound promising!

Look after yourself Rose, not least because it's bloody freezing out there! Will you be offered an early scan? They should be able to see something around 6 or 7 weeks I think.

Anne I want to test, but I'm scared too..scared of a bfn and scared of a bfp and the same thing happening again..

On another, completely unrelated note, am fuming with work someone in the office was off sick for two weeks just after my MC (with "stress" due to heavy workload...so I took on their load too, (3 days after having had a MC and was straight back at work with no complaining) They're back now and their workload is being reduced (guess who's picking up the slack!?) and reduced their hours to 4 days per week (I bloody hope their pay and holiday has decreased too!)...when I first came back after having DS I worked 4 days/week and lost holiday and was pro-rata'd on my hours and bonus...will be having a chat with boss tomorrow I reckon! Grrrr

That sucks, you don't need to be working loads more/harder than you're meant to at the moment. Definitely speak to your boss.

Fine for this colleague to get hours/conditions that work for them, but NOT for you to be picking up the slack to the detriment of your own wellbeing. Your work should be sharing responsibilities out fairly, not landing it all on you.

I know what you mean about testing, horribly conflicting

I'm now 3 or 4 days late, been trying not to conceive all month, and I'm still a bit sad it's a bfn.

Try and keep yourself distracted and agree with yourself you'll test Monday if nothing's happened by then?

Hi ladies, can I join? I sadly lost my beautiful girl at 31 weeks. She was still born in September and no cause was found for my loss.

My partner and I are trying again. Although I caught with Nieve really fast I'm scared it will take longer as I've been through so much and my periods, although coming back quickly, seem a bit all over the place.

So we started trying this month. I ovulated on day 17 and did the bd several times in my fertile period. I'm on cd30 today which is my longest cycle since the loss and have been having slight spotting the last three days- pink and brown mostly but a bit of red too. It's infuriating because it's like my period won't start and I'm worried it's not going to start at all. I did consider implantation bleeding but I didn't think you got any red with that.

Hi ladies ☺

So yesterday was a difficult day for me. I was at college and all my friends were talking about babies and their birth experiences. It got me down a bit and sad as I had an email reminder that I would of been 36 weeks this week if I hadn't of miscarried 😢
I'm due af tomorrow. No normal signs apart from some acne.
Still getting bfn every morning 😢

Why is it so hard to conceive when we so desperately want to have a baby?

I hope you are all well. Sending positive vibes to you all xx

Hi Twinkle I am so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking of course you can join us, we're a lovely bunch

Have you tested yet? I've been asking dr google about implantation bleeding all week and I think it can be red or brown...spotting for 3 days and no period does sound a little odd? Maybe take a cheeky test in the morning and see what it says?

At the moment Anne I'm trying to get to Saturday without poas, but feeling crappy and pissed off this afternoon has made me want some good news, so might go for tomorrow (although if it's a bfn that will just make me feel worse! I can't win!! ) DH is away Mon-Thurs, so would only test with him home Fri, Sat or Sun which is good as it stops be throwing all my money down the drain buying hpt constantly!

Someone talk me down please! I think I'm literally losing the plot!

Just caved and did a test. Can't tell if I think it is a very faint positive or not. I don't want it to be a BFP or a BFN! All I wanted to know was could I have a glass of wine at the weekend! Think I best do another one with FMU.

Also, anyone any suggestions for dealing with pregnancy announcements a bit better???? I was doing reasonably well emotionally but following my best friend's announcement on Tuesday I feel I've gone massively backwards. My head is literally all over the place. Another reason why I shouldn't have tested!

Olivers definitely speak to your boss. You don't need any extra stress.

Twinkle welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. I am having similar pink/brown spotting. Ever since I came off the pill I've had brown spotting for a few days before AF. Before my 2nd BFP I had one episode of pink spotting. I had a few episodes of brown spotting before my 3rd BFP. So who knows! I've come to the conclusion that is better to just test than keep on second guessing but above is prime example that it doesn't necessarily help!

Having to listen to next door's mental children constantly scream their heads off is not helping my mental state either! (To those who already have DCs please don't take this the wrong way. I do not expect silence, they are young children after all, but I wish they went to bed before 10!)

Just to highlight my mental-ness further. Last night I had a dream that I gave birth on a bus to a baby boy that was the size of a 9 month old but it came out really easily. Then when a friend popped round it had shrunk down to the size of an apple. My friend accidentally dropped it on the floor and it bounced because it was rubbery but alive!?

Anyone like to try and make sense of that?

Oh Emily. Right, are you defo seeing a line or do you have line eyes on? Put it down for a bit. Have a breath and then go and have one more quick look. Don't study it just have a look and walk away! Then if you must, test with fmu for a clearer answer x

Welcome Twinkle I'm sorry for your loss. As Olivers said we're a lovely bunch and this thread and the ladies here really helps make it all a bit easier x

Olivers I'd be having serious words with your boss if I were you. How awful that they've pilled all that extra work on top of you. I honestly wonder sometimes how some people become managers/team leaders with their lack of people skills and common sense!

Hi Twinkle sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you're having such a tough day khaleesi

Emily I agree with Holly you need to take a step back for tonight and try to give yourself a breather. Could you go out for dinner or stick a funny film on? Try to find something to distract yourself and have a good night's sleep (hopefully without any baby dreams!)