Thread 19 TTC#1 Just. Keep. Swimming.

[AliceScarlett]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount! It messes with your head and makes you crazy crazier

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. A more lovely, supportive group of ladies you couldn't wish to meet. We like it when the grads stick around. No question is too daft. We have opk experts, cervical mucus management teams and symptom spotters extraudinaire!

Welcome mouse!!

Welcome honey!!

Thanks for the new thread alice - which is filling up well fast!

fxskip really sorry about AF from hell.

I too joined in December last year (I think - memory is not my strong point) I am a veteran.

Got quite low yesterday when I thought I would be 7 months preggers by round about now...

mouse LSFX = legs spread fingers crossed one of our newer adjectives

Hey snarky welcome back! Hows tricks?

nicky private in the UK is fairly quick - you just have to get your foot in the door.

fxskip I am definitely older than you

That is the spirit skipper!!!!

I'm reading along, just super busy.

hi harriet i think i remember you, my name was slightly different then, but still hep

I have cracked today ..... the central heating is on. well it is october!

That sounds awful mouse hope it eases up soon

Welcome back Harriet

Glad you've found us kwick!

We have dtd 6 days straight I am saddle sore. I also feel totally despondent like it makes no difference how much sodding sex we have 2 dpo today hello to another hopeless tww. So tired of this!

Jem ..... sounds like you made a good go of it this month !

have you got something fun to look forward to in the next 2 weeks? a nice afternoon or day out ?

hoping AF stays away from you (and visits me instead )

Hi harriet nice to meet you :)

Hep - how are you feeling today? Ready to get back on the horse yet? That's a terrible saying... But you know what I mean. :/

london - you've got to stay positive, 6 days in a row! You are an absolute trooper.

My preseed arrived this morning, I must of ordered it less than 12 hours ago. OH was like "uh oh what now..." The cheek. Got some bad cramps now, so gonna go lie on a hot water bottle and burn my womb into oblivion.

Hi all, only just got up to date after a couple of busy days! Hope all ok, sorry for those with crappy BFNs!

My OPKs never show positive but I'm sure towards the end of the week would have been the important time (due to EWCM) but we only got a couple of DTD in so sure I'm out this month.

Had a bit of a go at OH for being lazy with his DTD technique, oops! (In my defense, he always gets to 'win')

Saw this incredible double rainbow today and it filled me with hope for our rainbow baby. Thought I'd share with everyone, sorry it's a bit sappy!

sk1pper i'm good thanks ! and very much wanting to get on the ttc horse.
still another 2 weeks (13 days .....)
(advice is to not ttc until after first AF or 4-6 weeks according to my consultant. So clearly I am waiting till 4 weeks !!)

back on the dtd horse..... but having to waste perfectly good swimmers......

still feeling unfit!! please nag me into buying new running shows next saturday !!! I will start this c25k !

beautiful hazandduck !

currently clearing out some junk of stuff out of the spare room before an ikea trip tomorrow. Carefully planning what we will buy. both keeping in mind to only get stuff that will be used whether or not we are successful ttc, and both not trying to mention it. But clearly I will know before christmas (pma...pma.... pma..... )

So OH spoke to boss about relocating to the site closer to home so he will no longer have to work away in the week. Boss said to review the situation in a months time, so fx. But hopefully OH will move back properly by end November. Will make ttc much easier !!!

That's good hep, the two weeks should go fairly quickly and clearing out junk is always a good move - a decluttered space = a decluttered mind. Will that spare room be your nursery eventually then? We only have one spare room and it's got two gaming PCs in it at the moment - no idea where they will go if we do manage it. FWP.

skip I have a small 2bed old terrace (living in the north has advantages ), so the spare room would be a nursery.

The plan is to buy a day-bed which would be useful whatever happens. In the short term, i get to have a nice quiet room upstairs to read or sew or work whilst OH plays xbox (loudly) downstairs !!! The xbox is in the living room downstairs. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to OH being permanently here, but I will also need my own space IYKWIM .

Good plan, enjoy your ikea trip tomorrow. I love ikea, a little bit jealous of you actually.

And I think everyone needs their own space particularly if you are not used to being with each other full time so I totally get what you mean.

Hi Kwick so sorry this cycle didn't bring you the result you wanted, I am so amazed by your PMA. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have a wobble from time to time. LSFX you'll get that BFP really soon, we're all rooting for you. I'm good thanks, on the difficult 10th cycle (glad I'm not the only one who's found #s 9 and 10 particularly challenging). Currently 11 dpo and trying not to go entirely mental. Not going to POAS until I'm significantly late, those things are bad for the soul, plus I'm definitely after !

Hope all you ladies are having a great Saturday night

Had both a lovely and thought provoking evening today.

Went for dinner with friends and they were chatting about us all going on a holiday next year to a theme park in Germany and were we up for it. DH says yes and I kinda just have to say yeah we will have to see where we are financially next year. She's sending us some costs and such. She knows we could afford to go but has no idea we are TTC right now.

DH has a big birthday next month and he said he wants to go away for a few days in Europe. Could easily spank £1k and all I'm thinking the entire time is... that's baby fund. That's potentially another month of maternity leave. I'm the main wage earner and losing my wage is going to hit us.

I know I shouldn't put life on hold and I haven't for the last 6 years of us talking about wanting to start trying (probably why I'm crazy now we're actually doing it) and we have been together almost 12 years but i can't help feeling like I want to be selfish and say no, this is my chance now.

Argh. I feel so mixed up. The friends started talking about holidays next year, they are going to vegas and asked if we have any plans. Nope. "Oh that's not like you, not to have anything planned"

I don't want to tell anyone we are TTC for fear of pressure. We already have the "when you gonna have kids" from pretty much all of our family and friends and it's now tuning into "you're 33 next you need to be thinking about kids before you dry up" (actual quote from the MIL) Have any of you told anyone?

Sorry for spewing. I just realised I wasn't actually making any point.

Music sorry about the BFN hopefully this is the new norm for your LP though.

Skipper so sorry that witch got you Your chart looks great temp wise but the 3 days of spotting does make your LP quite short, especially as your O day is potentially 1-2 days after the crosshairs. Hopefully just a one off, you'll know more next month :)

Jem that's an amazing effort, LSFX it pays off!

Haz that's a beautiful image. Thanks for sharing.

Welcome back Harriet

Hep enjoy your ikea trip!

Mouse be selfish and put your foot down, you've waited long enough for this. I know I'd much rather have a baby than a holiday. I can't believe your MIL said that to you! I'm sure she meant well but that's awful. I have told my two 'best' friends but it's very awkward at times because they both have kids and there's not much else to talk about now other than pregnancy/ttc stuff. One even asked midway through a phone convo a while back, "so are you pregnant yet?" and that was uncomfortable. Sometimes I regret telling them, sometimes I don't. I keep wanting to tell my mum we've had a mc but I haven't seen her since June. She's a midwife and we talk about babies and her job ALL the time, the different scenarios and who's pregnant and who isn't, but she doesn't ever ask me my plans!! I discuss baby names with her a lot and the other day on the phone she said 'I've thought of another name for you-Harry'. We continued discussing names for a while but I was meant to be helping her do some computer work over phone so she abruptly said... "anyway that's not for a good few years down the line, now let's get on with bla bla". I felt like screaming "FUCK YOU I'M TTC NOW AND I HAVE BEEN FOR AGES!" but I had to bite my tongue. Why does she think she can control the age I have a child when she had her first at a few months after turning 27 and I'm 26 in February!? Ugh. Sorry for the rant but it's all come pouring out xx

Alexia - thanks, this cycle was unusually short, 24 days and I normally average at 26. The majority of the spotting was old blood (brown), does that count?

Also, to both you and Mouse - I would say try not to let the words from mothers and MILs get you down. I'm am extremely lucky with my mum, she's not pushy and has only ever spoken about grandkids on the rarest of occasions. My MIL is the opposite, she moans that OH and I have been together for 9 years and haven't produced anything. Even my BIL and his wife sometimes laugh about us as we've taken 7 years to arrange our marriage, they don't think we'll ever have kids. I think once she even suggested I wasn't the maternal type but OH shot his brother a look that the subject was quickly changed.

The problem is, unless you go through the difficulty of conceiving yourself - you're just not sensitive enough to the issue and go blurting out things that aren't really intended to cause upset but inevitably do.

Yeah it's nearly 2am and I'm on MN. It's because AF really, really wants me to know that I didn't get pregnant last cycle. The worst menstrual cramps I've had for about a year. Hoping the painkillers kick this bitch in the face soon.

Also does anyone know the names for their babies? OH and I decided on ours a long time ago, it really highlights the length of time we've been trying. I'm scared now I'll never get to use them.

Mouse I cannot believe your mil said that that's horrendous. Your thoughts on holiday and money sound totally reasonable. You're planning a big life change and if sacrifices have to be made fair enough. I hope your oh sees this.

I have told a few close friends. I kind of told mum last year that we would be trying in the new year, which I regret now as she looks at me like she's waiting for a kettle to boil or something. She helpfully advised me - out of nowhere! that she thinks we should "have a beer and a curry" a few weeks ago. I think that was her way of saying relax? And she helpfully reminded me that she and my dad never even tried. I am one of four. Thanks mum

A close friend (who actually drives me quite mad) once text me "has your period come yet?" I mean, at least assume I'm pregnant! It's my job to assume my period is coming!

Eurgh. Wide awake feeling uncomfortably full and guilty after a few last night. Can't help but think I had that massive sexathon and have undone the work by drinking. Really hope this is just my brain doing overtime.

Skipper I've totally got names. Me and DH talk about it. Hope you got some sleep. Period pain really is salt in the wound. Watch out for too much ibuprofen by the way as it's not good for ttc

A few glasses of wine will be fine, I think the general rule is don't get wasted. Otherwise your body has to pour its energy into dealing with the aftermath.

I got like 2 hours sleep maybe...I need to get up now as got a day out with OH which I'm not looking forward to because of AF.

I told my mum we were TTC. It felt like the right thing to do as we're very close. She told me that when she was trying for my older sister it took ages & she was worried she couldn't have children. I asked how long she tried for and the reply... 3 months FFS. She's 'helpfully' told me that we need to have more sex, she thinks this is the answer as my sister (apparently) got pregnant month 1 & had sex every day during the fertile week. Now I kind of wish I hadn't told her. If she brings anything up I may say we're having a bit of a break as its stressful. Though I fully expect her response to that will be 'good idea, it's bound to happen if you stop trying & relax' so she'll still expect it!

I saw my friend yesterday & I told her I regretted telling a few ppl we were trying & I was beating myself up about it. She said it's a big thing & it's important that I talk about how I'm feeling as if I keep it bottled up it will be worse. That made me feel better.

I'm glad I found this thread as it really does help to know so many others are going through similar things.

Starmist I agree - this thread is lovely. Not sure what I'd do without it as we haven't told anyone we're ttc so you're the only guys I can talk to! Not told any friends as my two best friends are both getting married next year and I am bridesmaid and I don't want them worrying about if I will be pregnant and by how much. Also as they haven't been ttc I worry that they'd assume it should happen straight away and keep asking why I'm not preggars yet! But your friend is right - it's good to talk and not bottle up.

skipper so sorry that AF is being such a bitch. You must be exhausted. Really hope your day out is enjoyable and distracting

Jem no way a bit of wine will have impacted the outcome of your marathon dtd session this week. Seriously impressed by your efforts

I have more to say to others but just need to go and feed the cat!

mouse people can be pretty insensitive, even for innocent comments that's harsh! We haven't told anyone. I think after we married people assumed we'd start trying so just waited for the announcement. Now as its gone on longer I think people either assume we don't want kids yet or that we're having peoblems so don't want to say anything. OH's sisters each had different issues when they TTC and we're going round to one next week so I'm thinking there may be a (not so subtle) hint about it!

sk1pper I hope you enjoy your day out even though the witch has reared her ugly head We used to think of names but OH likes very traditional names and I like different ones, not crazy different but just names where there won't be 5 others with the same name so we gave up.

hep glad you're able to DTD again and hope you're enjoying it hope the days pass quickly until you can resume TTC

This weekend seems to be passing in a very quick blur

Morning everyone. BFN on 13dpo then... AF when I wiped . Not unexpected but effing annoying. Again. So I start Clomid on Tuesday. Hope you all have better Sundays!

Thanks everyone. My MIL has said other stuff but I just ignore her. My mum is fab but she's said comments like "oh you're not ready" in the past, maybe she was right but at the time it kinda hurt. I feel I was ready for kiddies probably 10 yrs ago. Now I feel we're both ready for kiddies.

I feel bad about the holiday situation. It's DH's 30th and he's had a pretty bad year at work, lots of tears and some really stressful times. I know this will give him something to look forward to. I keep thinking that we should just do it, life is short and if it means we struggle a little when and if a baby comes then so be it. If it takes us 6+ months to conceive it won't be a problem but of course I'm talking like I'm already upduffed. (Not a chance) or that it will be next month. I know realistically we should be ok. It's mid November so even if I was preggers by then it would be really early.

In other news, AF still not arrived. I had really bad symptoms yesterday with my back and then bad cramps. She's taking the piss now. Lol

And finally at the end of the waffle... yes!! We have our boy names, have had for YEARS but never discussed a girls name. We should maybe have one in the back pocket because we are soooooo indecisive it would take us forever to choose.