Thread 18 TTC#1 We have cats, courgettes AND cake

[AliceScarlett]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount! It messes with your head and makes you crazy crazier

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. A more lovely, supportive group of ladies you couldn't wish to meet. We've got a few grads sticking around I won't leave and no question is too daft. We have opk experts, cervical mucus management teams and symptom spotters extraudinaire!

Can I ask you girls something? I've just sat down and been a complete nerd to work out potential due dates for a baby I haven't even conceived yet, just to see how it coincides with my wedding next year.

Wedding - 26th June
This cycle due date - 14th June
Next cycle due date - 8th July

The reason for all the pointless homework is that my OH pretty much refused to DTD with me last night after a positive OPK because he was worried about the wedding. Even though we DTD 2 days ago, well within my fertile window...

What do you guys think? Should we loose the two cycles?

Welcome Geeup. If you dtd yesterday it's all good, swimmers can last for up to 5 days! I tried to keep it to every other day dtd, so maybe try turning on the charm again this eve or tomorrow? Fx for you!

Kwick I'm so very sorry round 2 didn't work out. You deserve this so much. On another note I know nearly nothing about HR type jobs, and you travel 75% of the time? Sounds very cool if exhausting!

Hep glad you're feeling better and that you had a nice time in York. I've always wanted to go for a weekend getaway, think I need to get this sorted now!

Sk1pper I guess having a due date super near your wedding would complicate things. I found my wedding day exhausting and I wasn't pregnant! Plus if baby's early, if you're out of area for delivery hospital... Always going to come down to personal choice, I'm sure there must be people who've been super pregnant on their wedding day and everything was fine!

Thanks damson for explaining the HSG. I'd heard that there is some evidence of a higher rate of getting pg in the 2-3 months following the test, so fingers crossed - but not getting excited. AF arrived for me today so I'm right to the back of the bus again although not a massive surprise as I did a test on Fri and got a BFN.

Skipper I really don't know what I'd do in that situation, sorry to be really unhelpful! Do you know what you'd do if you got a bfp, would you lose much in the way of deposits etc if you had to postpone/bri forward?? And it might also depend on how long you've been trying too. The other part of me would be thinking keep DTD and don't worry about it unless it happens!

Welcome geeup

Am feeling strangely positive today! I feel like I am back to my old self, and I will get pregnant again .

OH are closer than ever and things are going to be OK. I may have more wobbles to come, but work was good today and the sun is shining .

Ps welcome geeup! I don't know the answer to your question, but is something I've wondered too!

Welcome geeup xx

Thank you lovely/jelly. I will loose about £2000 in deposit if I needed to move it, the rest I pay 6 weeks before anyway but I'm almost certain the venue would let me reorganise with no charge if I told them before Christmas.

I've been trying for over 13 months now, I feel like I'd happily waste £2k for getting a baby bump. But probably out this cycle now unless OH has a change of heart tonight.

Hep So glad you are feeling a bit better.
I will not know my next test date until I confirm treatment plan - will see Dr tomorrow to discuss options - and even then it may be a bit vague as it will depend on insemination/transfer, which will depend on when I ovulate/egg is collected.

Welcome geeup!!

skipper does that mean you are DTD now out of wedlock????!!!!!!

OPKs indicate the LH - luteinising hormone surge which usually, but not always, indicates that you will ovulate within the next 36 hours. Best advice: go at it like rabbits!!!!

My job is anything but cool I am afraid - just finished last meeting of the day, next one is at 7am tomorrow!!!

That sounds intense kwick. Maybe a new job would take your mind off things?

Welcome geeup.

I'd be willing to risk the £2k as well skipper

Glad you're feeling positive hep won't be long before you're back in the saddle

Take the bet skipper! I don't think you'd be too upset to lose 2k!

Turns out I was premature in not wearing pads anymore..... At least its not far to sprint from my kitchen to the bathroom....

alice I OPK at work usually nip to another floor and smuggle a plastic cup in from the kitchen. For me the worst is when AF is actually due - I've got into the habit of thinking period starting could be implantation blood honestly by the time if I do actually pregnant I am not going to believe anything! I'll have a massive bump and kicking before I think oh maybe I am...? Or giving birth haha

Glad you are feeling better hep won't seem like long at all before you're trying again

Welcome geeup the OPK for me reassures me that I get the LH surge and that I'm DTD around the right point of my cycle. Love an OPK. Hate pregnancy tests and have given them up however! Sorry it's been so long for you. Have you had all the main tests done?

skipper such a personal decision! And need to take your age into account, can you afford to stop trying for a few months?

Looking back at our wedding day I am personally glad that I wasn't pregnant and could just enjoy it and be totally in that moment, not worrying about nausea tiredness figure changing etc etc. But that's me and it could be totally different priority for you. Tough one - I'd imagine once you've started it would be difficult to put it on hold a bit. Or you might find you enjoy the break!

skipper - it's such a personal decision with no right answer. One thing i'm realising is that you really can't control a BFP but you can go mad trying. i would probably relax the rules for a couple of months and then secretly hope that the reverse psychology of not trying any more gets a BFP!
hep - really admire your positivity! I was also feeling more upbeat last night but can't switch my brain off so was thinking "ooh if i get a BFP this month i'll be past the 3 month hurdle so wouldn't have to worry about excuses for not drinking at xmas nd would be a nice xmas surprise for family" just setting myself up for disappointment!
kwick - it's a tough one re your job. i suppose it depends on whether you're sticking with it just for the maternity benefits or if you see yourself going back to it once you have a baby. i think i would grow to resent work if i felt it was getting in the way of babies.
geeup welcome!

Morning.

Is anyone going to watch this show this evening?

Alex Jones - Fertility & Me

I'm really torn. I think I'll find it interesting but on the other hand I worry I'll find it really disheartening with all of the 'your fertility declines after you turn 25' messages. Might wait for the mumsnet reviews then watch on catch up if I think I can face it.

Thanks for all the welcomes everyone.
LondonJem yep I've had the basic tests on the NHS - day 3, day 21, dildocam scan of my ovaries, then I had the lap and dye and hysteroscopy at the same time. Unexplained currently.
DTD last night so we've done O-4, O-1 and O day but we've tried every combination to no avail (every day for 2 weeks straight, every day in fertile week only, every other day through the cycle, every 3rd day).
The thing that confused me about the idea that swimmers last 5 days in there is that is it only true if you DTD when there was EWCM? I watched that documentary The Great Sperm Race everyone talks about on these threads that said how the sperm need the EWCM to swim up through the cervix to get to hang out in the Fallopian tubes. I only ever get about 2 hours of EWCM in my cycle (never when we're at home alone, only ever when I'm at work or we're in the middle of something with friends or parents and generally about 3-4 days before O) so don't think I've ever actually shagged with the EWCM present. Tried Preseed with no avail too. How on actual earth does anyone ever get bloody upduffed?!!!

Cross post - I'll be watching purple just to force my OH to see someone say that fertility does fall of a cliff at 35 (I am 34). He thinks that's rubbish and just played up by the media and I worry unnecessarily so won't try IVF yet even though I'm totally desperate.

Hadn't seen that purpleladybird I probably will watch it but it'll probably make me cranky with DH and feed my "we should have started trying years ago" mantra.

geeup I take it your partner has had his sperm checked too? Re EWCM as far as I understand it just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. The bit you see has come down. Have you tried taking evening primrose oil? This increased EWCM for me - you start taking it when your period finishes and stop when you ovulate. Sorry if I'm teaching you to suck eggs (no pun intended )

GeeUp I think it could be the same for us in that it will upset me and enlighten OH.

It's on quite late (10:45 I think). I'm normally in bed by then!

Yes true - we're usually in bed by 10.15! Maybe we'll do catch up too!
Londonjem - yep tried EPO for past few cycles and think it's made me a bit wetter but not not sure if more EW. I'm never sure if I'm seeing EW or just the day before's spermies (sorry tmi but we all know what that's like!). They're both kind of stretchy aren't they!
And yep OH has had his SA done 3 times (now has a hatred of "wanking in a cupboard" as he calls it). He wants to do another one soon as he's been on Proxeed for a couple of months now. (He did Fertilaid for 6 mths before that). He tends to have morphology between 1-3% which isn't great but docs think the 1% was a blip and that 3% should be enough (I'm not so confident).

Seriously. Ask me questions about stuff to try. We've literally tried everything except medical intervention (which is next but OH not keen yet...)

I have worked for my present employer for 14 years. The maternity benefits are not great but I generally love working for this company. I definitely cannot do my current job either heavily pregnant or with a baby. I am hoping a new job will come up - my new main boss knows I am looking and has told me she does not want to lose me - but it will depend if something actually comes up - I not mind taking a step down I just need a job with much less travel.

Three times - what a pro. Think DH is nervous about doing this - I've just managed to get him an appointment today. I feel bad but I just want to make sure there isn't anything stopping us

Kwick - is there anything internally that's less stressful you could do as a sabbatical maybe? Or could you ask them formally to reduce your travel? It does sounds very hard what you juggle work wise with your treatment cycles. Massive kudos to you.
London - I get that they don't like the performing under pressure bit but I really don't think it compares to what we do. And everything we do is pointless if their swimmers aren't getting where they need to go because they're a bit slow/deformed (in our case)/too few etc. If SAs weren't £90 each time, I'd have my OH doing then every month when I get AF - seems like a fair swap. And to be fair he probably would too for the data if you know what I mean.

Ps wish the worst bit of my fertility investigations had been masturbating in a cupboard instead of having a general anaesthetic and my tummy button ruined forever cut open and another scar above my pubes.

That sounds awful geeup :( !
Londonjem are you doing the sa teat privetely i was wondering how it works ? If my af arrives this month we need to book one for dh

Very good point geeup

mariam I booked it at Create Fertility - they have several branches. It's £95 and they get the results immediately plus advice on what to do next.