35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Hi hopeful and welcome!
I am day 22 and 7 dpo, I've realised that all my supposed early pg symptoms are just pms as no sniff of a bfp in my 12 months trying.
And I think I've had about every early pregnancy symptom I can think of. Its crushing when you get your hopes up and get bfn. So going to try to be good this cycle. And not test until Ovia tells me to!
Not that I'm using opk to screen
When are you planning to test?

Elise, sending you biggest hugs!! 💐💐💐💐

elise how are you? Hope you are getting the support you need
Having one of those bad days where I feel like it'll never happen for me. Think I am out on this my 12th cycle which really hurts
Think assisted conception will be only way I get pregnant. Can ill afford this given our debts on the furniture and car, not to mention the mortgage! Could maybe stretch to one cycle of treatment but that's not likely to be enough.
Seeing just obstacles right now.
What are everyone's thoughts on how long they will try naturally before trying another option?

Miraflores , I'm pretty sure AF is on the way this week, tested this morning for the sake of it to experience what it was like! It's all very new to me lol!

I watched that fertility programme now worrying about everything possible!

When are you testing ? What cd are you

Hi hopeful I started brown spotting yesterday so I expect I'm out this month which has caused me to be a stroppy madam since! Which is actually unlike me.

12th set of on time periods while ttc has got to me!
Sorry, to answer your question cd 27, am usually around 30days but can be 26-35 days.

Sorry I think I keep repeating myself it's just I can't see previous comments when I'm writing a post on this app(!) and I can't remember what I've written...
Oh and Ovia says I should test today...

@EliseV so sorry to hear that . Sending you a virtual hug. MC is more common than we think and plenty of women who experience it go on to have happy healthy kids after that. I'm sure you'll fall into that category.

@miraflores81, I am TTC month 8, but at least 3 months were completely lost (no DTD at right time as trying NOT to stress out DP; crap strategy!), so I figure we've not properly tried for 6 months yet. Fertility clinic said I could conceive naturally, but chances are low (I'm 41), so they recommend IVF with pre implantation genetic screening as best chance. DP not keen on IVF, so I started taking supplements (ubiquinol, maca, royal jelly) with the hope that plus more targeted TTC efforts might work. I will review at end of the year, if nothing by then, I will probably try to persuade DP to rethink IVF.

Currently CD11/29. First OPK "high" of this cycle this morning, so ovulation likely Friday or Saturday. DP has been warned of need for lots of bedroom activity over next few days and seems quite keen .

Thanks blueberry and hopeful
I'm going to drs tonight to see if anything is wrong as I had some bad bleeding mid cycle. Hopefully it's just OH nicked me while using pre seed applicator. But happened a couple of times. May also need a smear test. Sorry if tmi but have started pre period brown spotting so really don't want anyone poking about down there right now as I don't deal with that too well. Must also be unpleasant for dr!
Sigh, I hate this!
Btw how does everyone cope with bad pms ( can you tell?!) when ttc?

I don't think I do cope, mira. I am massively stroppy for a day and then I'm okay. DP usually knows to leave me alone!

Miraflores81 thanks for your concern. I had a D&C on Monday and had been feeling 'OK', today I kind of fell apart, feeling very sad and very scared.

Blueberry I know that it's common and people go on to have healthy babies, that doesn't change how heart wrenching and awful this all feels though.

@elisev I wasn't suggesting that hope for the future should make you feel any less sad/awful now. Sorry if that's what is sounded like.

@miraflores - I got awful (worse than I ever remember) PMS last month; I felt horribly uncomfortable. Am hoping that Evening Primrose Oil & Maca might help (if they don't help me conceive, which I'm doubtful they will).

Me: CD13 "high" fertility according to OPK. Should ovulate at weekend (when we have a house guest....). TTC not going well; unusually 3 attempts in last 2 days didn't work. Maybe DP feeling pressure?

@blueberry that's not what it sounded like, I appreciated the virtual hug I just think that sometimes people say these things, and other bits of info that all women know but it isn't necessarily helpful. I guess you could liken it to when people say 'just relax, it'll come when you're least excepting it' when we've all been desperately wanting a baby for a long time. I think miscarriage is a really unknown area. I certainly had no idea how awful it felt until going through it myself, I too would've been giving the same sort of advice, thinking that it was what helped people. It's so tricky to know what to say but I certainly appreciate any support.

I'm just hoping my body and mind both feel better soon enough and I can start feeling positive again x

elisev have been lurking here, just wanted to send a virtual hug, it sounds so sad - 2 of my close friends have had MCs, they each got through it in different ways. Take your time and do what you need to do. Have you got RL support?

Hi there @jenebaguetterien Not sure what RL support is but am starting to feel better this week and look after myself again, thank you.

Sorry @elisev I meant do you have any real life support outside of this forum? Someone you can talk to or a shoulder to cry on? Or perhaps only you and your partner know about the MC and are helping each other through.

@elisev - hope you and DH are feeling a bit less sad. In French I would say "bonne courage" to you both. It's often translated as "good luck" but it's used to wish a person strength and resolve for a difficult situation or task.

As for me, CD19, DPO3. Low expectations for this month as TTC only once (on day of OPK peak fertility reading) . AF due next Thurs/Fri. Just hoping PMS symptoms not as debilitating as last month . Probably need to stop feeling sorry for myself .

sooz, hopefulbunny how are you guys getting on?
I have a question- has anyone started treatment NHS or otherwise? And if you haven't, at what point would you consider it? Hope you don't mind me asking except me and mrflores are strongly considering fertility treatment and would really like to hear opinions/experiences especially of those in my age group. I haven't found it easy to find information on all my options as obviously it's so dependent on individual circumstances so I thought I'd pump you guys for information as we have some stuff in common! Thanks in advance x

@jenebaguetterien I have had a lot of support, thank you.

@blueberry1 thank you for your words again, I am already starting to feel better and stronger this week- I find pushing myself at the gym really helps take my mind off things. Hopefully soon I'll be ready to jump on the band wagon again!

Sending you all lots of positivity and baby dust! Fingers crossed x

Glad you're feeling stronger elise.

mira, I'm okay, thanks. Fw this week, dtd twice but no +opk yet. Hate feeling in limbo land. Day 21 bloods next week. I haven't started actual treatment but will see what the result of the bloods are this cycle then I'll have to convince DP to give an SA!

I'm trying to find the right balance between not being too hopeful but optimistic enough (I think it's important to stay positive). Just can't get it right!

Mira, I'm good Thanks, how are things with you?

I haven't started any treatment , I had blood test ( other reasons) but it also looked at hormones which all seemed fine. I've got a pelvic scan in a few weeks to check all is okay as I sometimes have heavy AF and got a bit worried recently as it seemed to go on forever! I'm hoping that they will be able to tell me how everything is fertility wise , even though it's not the purpose of the scan.
I never worried about any of this this until I turned 35!
Hope everyone else is okay!

First month using Clearblue OPKs and DH has excitedly run downstairs to tell me it's a flashing smiley face and asking when I will be ready!
I'm on CD10 so a little surprised but also reassured...I did say I'm going to buy theinternet cheapies next time once I know what positive results look like.
Hope everyone's having a good weekend...strength and patience to those holding off from testing!

I was very excited when I got my first flashing smile face and even more so when I got a static face!

I am opk this week! Blank circle this morning for me!

@jenebaguetterien & @hopefulbunny - I think it's worth additional cost for clearblue dual hormone OPKs as they identify the entire fertile window. I read (but can't remember where; I have read so much....) that the best time to get pregnant was two days before ovulation & day of.

@Sooz my DP refuses to do SA as he says there's no point because if there is a problem there is nothing that can be done. I pointed out that we would then know if our TTC attempts are futile. TBH he's so über healthy I doubt there's any problem despite his age (49).

Am now CD24, DPO8 and my luteal phase is 11-12 days so AF due Thurs or Fri. Am so convinced no BFP this month I had a few glasses of wine over the weekend . PMS symptoms much lighter this month (just slightly tender boobs) so am wondering if that is the hormone balancing effect of Maca? Last month I had extreme PMS that I felt really unwell.

Hi I'm new to the forum and thread. I'm 35 and hubby and I would like to TTC I'm the new year. I am currently on the implant which I have had for two years and no AF at all during that time. I want to have that out in next few weeks and lose a bit of weight etc whilst my body gets back to normal. I don't know how long fertility takes to start again after its removal but have read is quick ish. I have two sons 16 and 10 and conceiving with both them happened very quickly but I was 17 and 24 then and am aware might be longer this time.. Just wanted to ask advice on it really as it's a bit different this time on TTC foods vitamins anything really on 35+ as am excited but nervous at the same time :) thanks so much x

Thanks Blueberry, my DP (DH-to-be now he's proposed!) is quite healthy too, he's 47 so I've been concerned there'll be issues but I think I just need to chill!

Welcome, Disco.