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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after miscarriage thread #6

1000 replies

jodiebee664 · 21/07/2016 17:27

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

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9
MrsY87 · 04/09/2016 07:18

So sorry Mrs take care of yourself Flowers

HighHopes16 · 04/09/2016 08:47

So sorry to hear your sad news Mrs - Don't give up!!
It's coming up to 9 weeks (tomorrow) since my ERPC and I still haven't got AF!! Sad

Hazandduck · 04/09/2016 09:54

Highhopes could you have fallen again? Have you done a test? I still haven't had mine either I had a D&C on the 17th of July xx

littlepooch · 04/09/2016 10:03

I am so sorry to read your news and see you back here mrsunsure. I really hope when you feel ready to try again you get a sticky bfp soon. It can all be too unfair sometimes x

purpleviolet1 · 04/09/2016 10:20

Hi everyone. I have been meaning to post for a while but there has been a lot going on.

For those of you who remember me (and for the newcomers) I had a mmc at 12 weeks in Jan (following a Hosp admission for sepsis) where baby measured 8+3 and a natural miscarriage in June at 6 weeks. I was told I would be referred to the rmc /put under an obstetrician as they felt both were caused by infections and I needed to be put on antibiotics from day 1.

I never managed to have any tests done before I fell pregnant again but I am being being monitored by an obstetrician. All being well I'm 10 weeks now. I have had an early reassurance scan at 8+3 and again at 9+3 as I had a bit of spotting. The 9+3 scan showed a very small heomotoma but tbh I'm not holding out much hope. I don't feel positive but I'm just trying to get through each day. I had a nasty infection the week leading up to the BFP which took me weeks to recover from. I'm taking two types of antibiotics now to prevent infection. Very sadly we lost our mum as well when I was 6 weeks. Some of you may remember she was very poorly but it's still been a big change. Especially as we lived together.

Congratulations to New shoes and Mrs Amelia.

I really hope the rest of you get your BFP's soon and I'm thinking and praying for you always xx

user798646103 · 04/09/2016 11:26

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INeedNewShoes · 04/09/2016 11:33

Mrs - just to say that my GP ran the Antiphospholipid tests for me at my request, so do be pushy and ask.

I turn out to be positive for APS so I'm glad that I asked for that specific test and that I am lucky enough to have a supportive GP.

user798646103 · 04/09/2016 11:39

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INeedNewShoes · 04/09/2016 12:06

I researched what tests a Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic would run (just using Google), knew that my GP couldn't run them all (and I would be pushing my luck to ask) so I took a punt on what tests might be most useful to me. Because I'm having fertility treatment (IUI) all of my hormone levels were checked before I started TTC so I knew that hormone issues (most commonly low progesterone being a cause of early miscarriage) were less likely to be the cause for me.

My family is riddled with autoimmune disorders so it seemed likely to me that APS could be an issue for me.

GPs don't have to run these tests, and it will depend on the policies of the local PCT and of the surgery as well as how sympathetic the particular GP is.

The treatment for APS is blood thinners - aspirin and heparin. I am seeing an obstetric consultant on Thursday (I'm pregnant again, and now considered a 'high-risk pregnancy' not only because of the APS but also because of Anti-S antibodies which were picked up before my ERPC) and hoping that they will prescribe the heparin.

It feels like a minefield, but do your own research and go to your GP armed with information. I can imagine a GP might be less likely to run tests for someone if they were just to walk in and say 'can you run some tests to see if there is a cause for my miscarriages'. Because GPs are not obstetricians/fertility experts and it isn't really within their remit or area of expertise to be running recurrent miscarriage clinics. But if you go with a specific request, you might find that they are willing to help you.

BertieBotts · 04/09/2016 13:05

Mrs it will depend on what is causing the miscarriages. Have both happened at the same gestation? Do either you or DH have other children? Any family history of infertility?

They say that the overall chance of miscarriage is something like 20% per pregnancy. So it's not outside the realms of possibility that it can just be bad luck, even happening twice. I believe that is why they wait until you've had three in most cases to do any testing, because two can be bad luck, but three points to something specifically preventing a pregnancy from going any further.

As to what that might be. It can be several things. You know that you can get pregnant, so that's part of the puzzle out of the way. Your DH's swimmers can swim, and in the right direction, your womb isn't overly hostile, you don't have such severe genetic issues that the fertilised egg is being immediately rejected.

So it must be that either your womb/cervix isn't able to hold the embryo or support the embryo in some way, OR that there's some genetic issue which is causing the development to become halted at some point. Genetic thing can be caused by either of you being a carrier for something, or it can be that your body has too relaxed of an entry policy, and is letting in any old sperm, rather than the best ones.

In our case we know what the cause is - DH has a balanced translocation which in effect means he's a "carrier" and has either 50% or 25% chance of passing on a gene which affects development at that specific level. (We don't know which, which is why I want testing, but it's not overly urgent). So we have the normal 20% chance of miscarriage + 50 or 25% of the other 80%, which means 40% chance or 60% chance overall. That's an extremely rough estimate, and might not be accurate because the 20% probably includes people with the same issue that we have anyway. But 2 or 3 out of 5 compared with 1 chance out of 5 means it's more likely for us.

However, even when this is known, all they are likely to say (in our case) is keep trying. We have decent odds (40 or 60%) of a healthy pregnancy too, so it's not worth doing any invasive treatments. If it turned out it was a different issue which was much less likely to result in a successful pregnancy, then they can do things to change the odds, and the good news is that in most cases, especially when it's a problem with the womb or the mother's hormones they can do things to help regulate that. When it's a genetic issue, it's less clear cut and more invasive, but there is always the option of IVF with PGD which is where they screen the embryos to check they are genetically healthy and then implant healthy ones only. This is the route we would probably go down if it turns out to be impossible to conceive otherwise, but I hope we don't have to go there, because I think it's quite stressful and painful. At this point, we just need to wait and see.

jbee664 · 04/09/2016 15:04

Hi All,

Catching up on everybody's posts.

Congrats to the new BFP's Amelia and New Shoes I do hope this is the one for you and newshoes I hope you get the right help you need that you mentioned before.

Mrs you know you're in my thoughts xx

Welcome to all the new ladies - sorry you're here, Brenna put it so right - we're in the club that nobody wants to be in!

I had heard of the term 'rainbow baby' before but didn't realise why it was termed that but it makes perfect sense and so true!

Brenna I hope this is the month for you, glad you're managing to dtd in you FW!

IC welcome back but sorry you're going through a tough time, so hard isn't it. From reading all the recent messages and going through it myself, it just frustrates me so much that we have to fight and push for these tests at such a difficult time, makes it all feel like a battle. I do understand that it's because the NHS is overstretched but it just seems so unfair and so cloak and dagger that we have to discover for ourselves what tests could possibly help us prevent this awful experience of happening again.

Regarding acupuncture (I can't remember who asked) but I'm having it - for both fertility help and because I wanted to get everything back on track as soon as I could after my 2nd mc in June...after the first one last August - my first AF was over 9 weeks long which obviously prevented us from trying so I didn't want that to happen again. I've only been 3 times but I can say she really helps me - both the talking to her and the actualy therapy has really relaxed me and calmed me down about it all (the news of my younger sister's pregnancy had stressed me out!) I felt like I had a strong ov in my last cycle and even though AF got me last time, I'm still going to carry on and am positive it will help me conceive soon.

love to you all - we will get there!

Brenna24 · 04/09/2016 15:32

Mrs My GP referred me to the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic to do the tests. The rules here are that they do the tests after 3 miscarriages if you are under 38 and after 2 if you are over 38. I turned 38 between nos 2 and 3. Some places will run the tests after 2 if you push. I think it is well worth asking.

Haz the tests are on the NHS but they are expensive to run and most of them are rare conditions. I can see why they don't run them prophylactically, or even after one. Most miscarriages are caused by chromsomal issues which are unique to that particular embryo and can't be predicted or treated and mean that the embryo just couldn't develop and live. So the tests wouldn't protect most of us from the hurt. Plus they only look at a few causes of recurrent miscarriage. The others just aren't known, so most people end up in the 'unexplained' category like me. Which is a really sucky place to be. I know there is a fair chance that it is not just bad luck and that I have a problem, but not one we can find or treat.

Hi Purple. I know I said it already but I am so sorry about your Mum. Don't give up hope yet. Every day your baby is still there, the odds get better he or she will stick. Plus you know that the infection was the likely problem before and you have antibiotics now. Easier said than done not to worry though. We are with you all the way.

Bertie how did you find out about the balanced translocation? we haven't had any tests for anything like that yet.

jbee664 · 04/09/2016 15:41

Purple very sorry I missed you in my last post but also wanted to say sorry about your mum, I remember she'd been very poorly, thinking of you all. And regarding the pregancy, that's great you've got to over 10 weeks, that's a good sign indeed, I understand how it's easy to worry though!

Brenna thanks for that info re age, I didn't know that about being 38+ I'm 37.5 so good to have that knowledge if I don't receive an appointment in the post soon! Also thanks for how you explained it to Haz and why they don't just run the tests, it makes sense and I know you're right - just get blinded by the emotion of it all sometimes!

user798646103 · 04/09/2016 17:16

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purpleviolet1 · 04/09/2016 22:20

Thankyou Brenna and Jodie. Thank you for your kind words X

BertieBotts · 04/09/2016 23:02

Brenna DH has known he's had it since he was 16, I'm not 100% sure exactly how his parents knew about it but they had known since he was born or during his mother's pregnancy, I'm not sure. They were always told that it caused learning difficulties so they thought it had caused his dyslexia (which it wouldn't have done). His parents were older when he was born so they thought it might be related to that (I assume that may have been why they had testing done?) and there is a lot of history of miscarriage in his family, with some speculation about a male-linked gene as his father's line have struggled to have boys. Plus his cousin recently got married and she sent us a load of information because she has a balanced translocation and had heard through the family grapevine that DH had it too. The thing that gets me is that they told him when he was 16 and he was told he'd never be able to have children - which isn't true AT ALL! And has put him through a load of pain and worry about it which was just completely unnecessary. I mean OK they probably didn't know as much about genetic stuff in the 80s, and certainly, they didn't have the option of IVF with PGD back then, but to just tell him outright without contacting a genetic specialist. By the time they told him there would have been a lot more information available and it's a lot to put on a teenager.

As an aside I have no idea why they don't check for translocations because apparently it's fairly common, affecting about 3% of the population and the test is what's known as a karyotype, which is fairly cheap as tests go (I think it's about £400 if done privately) and really easy as it's just a blood sample they use. They tend to run in families so if you have family history of miscarriage or infertility (or babies born with genetic abnormalities although this is a rarer outcome) it might be worth asking about. And it affects the same whether it's on the male or the female line.

HighHopes16 · 05/09/2016 06:33

7 weeks for you then Haz? I did a test last Thursday and it was definitely negative. Sad

MrsY87 · 05/09/2016 08:56

I'm on CD 10 if I count the first day of mc (was 6 weeks) as CD1. Bleeding stopped 3 days ago and this morning I got a flashing smiley on a CB OPK, is it likely to be because I've got hcg still in my body which is being picked up or could it be that my cycle has fallen straight back to normal?.

Interesting to read about how you feel Accupunture has helped you jbee I have my second session on wed and really interested to see how it will help.

MissMooMoo · 05/09/2016 10:02

I just saw a GP for a follow up.
I had my miscarriage abroad so got medic advice there but wanted to see my gp here for a follow up and to have it recorded.
He has ordered some blood tests just to check my general health.
He asked what I was doing about contraception and when I answered nothing he seemed shocked. He said my file had stated it was an unplanned pregnancy!!! He still has advised using condoms until I get my period (too late for that!) Is it really a big issue or is it more for dating purposes if you fall pregnant straight away?
Cd 25 today of a 32 day cycle,assuming everything goes back to normal. DH and I managed to dtd on cd 16,17,18,19 so I am crossing my fingers.

user798646103 · 05/09/2016 10:14

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Hazandduck · 05/09/2016 10:58

I love this board so much, bertie and brenna between you both you have supplied me with so much info in your posts and just the general rational approach helps me see it in a less emotional, irrational way. It's so easy to get swept away at the seemingly 'woe is me' injustice of it all but then looking at it as facts just brings me back to reality.
purple what an awful time for you I am so sorry for your loss. that sounds like such a traumatic series of events, but each pregnancy is different, and it sounds like you are being monitored closely by the doctors so hopefully that will help. Like someone above said, we are all here with you through it.
Highhopes yep I had my D&C 7 weeks yesterday it does not feel like nearly 2 months ago where did that go. I only stopped spotting on the 8th of August though and still had a strong positive on that day which the hospital seemed to think was ok. I am going to give it a couple more weeks and test again. I kind of don't want to know if I have fallen again as I will just be heartbroken if I miscarry again :( xxx

HighHopes16 · 05/09/2016 11:12

I know what you mean, I want to be pregnant so much but I also would be so scared if I got a positive!

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 05/09/2016 12:10

Thanks for all your replies. I haven't tried acupuncture. TBH it takes me long enough to see a Dr when I actually need to as sitting down and talking about my problems isn't something I'm good at so doing it out of choice for complementary therapy is highly unlikely for me! I'm the kind of person who goes to see a therapist and then spends the whole time convincing them I'm fine!

Hi purple. Happy to hear about your pregnancy although I'm very sorry to hear that you have lost your mum. I hope you're surrounded by lots of people who can give you support at this time and good luck with your pregnancy

BertieBotts · 05/09/2016 12:41

Yes, facts and statistics definitely help me a lot. Miscarriage is not nice to go through but I can handle it much better when I know it's a one in five (or two or three in five) chance and it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen every time. It's just rolling the dice and hoping at some point it sticks!

I had my second HCG draw today so fingers crossed tomorrow they should tell me everything is fine. I have stopped bleeding and feel normal so hopefully it's OK.

Whether it's just because I woke up loads earlier today I'm not sure, but my temps have dropped which might be in preparation for ovulation? Fingers crossed!

TootsyBella84 · 05/09/2016 18:27

Hey ladies, just popping my head in here.
I got my bfp for dc #3 back in June. At 9+2 I started to get spotting so EPU booked me in for a scan to find I'd had a MMC :( I suffered lots of heavy bleeding and returned for a scan 10 days later to find the sac was still there. I got booked in for ERPC the following Thursday but ended up passing everything naturally on Monday 15th which was confirmed by another scan.
My first AF arrived on the 1st which I thought was a bit early but here I am!
Well that's some introduction isn't it. This seems to have hit me quite hard and I don't know if trying again would help me or make me feel worse but the choice has kind of been taken from me now and we can't realistically try again until December/January time which seems an age away.
Hope it's okay to linger for now and I'm sorry you've all had to go through the same thing x

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