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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

800 replies

duchesse · 19/01/2007 19:43

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

OP posts:
rahrah1 · 06/02/2007 23:39

cool...

rahrah1 · 06/02/2007 23:40

is it quite distressing? What do you do there? Do you have any arch criminals that have gone mad.. like in the movies?

rahrah1 · 06/02/2007 23:41

PLus in your professional opinion, do you thing there is anyone in the hut that belongs there and don't say me!

beansprout · 07/02/2007 06:19

Hurrah, have been up since 4am with ds and now have to go to work. Want to kill. What would constitute diminished responsibility anyway?

Mangy dog is in that advert down the side (when it's not a phone). It is mangy though.

Catbabymummy · 07/02/2007 07:06

Another booming freezing morning, I'll be off to work in an hour... I'm so looking forward to it.... NOT!!
Any chance of a spliff to see me through the day??

Catbabymummy · 07/02/2007 07:16

At least the mangy dog adverts better than the one with the cute baby that has been popping up this morning, I mean what are they trying to do rubbing it the faces of all those who are FTC???
Grrr
I mean it's bad enough all these pg women flaunting their perfectly symmetrical bumps but this is just rubbing salt in the wound!
-CBM wanders off to find a longer straw for the vodka bottle

Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 08:57

Bloody thumb's worse than ever this morning. Slightly swollen around the joint, red and sore with limited movement. My husband suggested that maybe I needed drugs. I thought "A joint for a joint" and came here.

OP posts:
sideways · 07/02/2007 09:48

joints and vodka all round this morning then ladies

rahrah, what happened with your brother?

Impatience · 07/02/2007 12:06

The mangy dog ad is infinately preferable to the ad that kept flashing at the top "All I want for christmas is a mummy!" How incredibly insensitive!

Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 12:16

They're playing on our emotions, Impatience.

In my case, crabbiness.

OP posts:
Impatience · 07/02/2007 12:32

oh, do ad people do that, Duchesse? I never realised.... sneaky underhand gits. Try and get money off people who don't already have a screaming conscience.

Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 13:15

Do you know that Muriel Spark invented "Go to Work on an Egg" in the 60s? All sorts of authors have been in advertising (emphasis on the past tense). I guess they stayed until they realised they were expected to sell stuff to people who didn't know they wanted it.

Which is what bugs me most about charity advertising. As you say, the only people who'll notice it are the people who would have contributed anyway, so why bother? Many people just let even the most deserving causes wash over them. Maybe they're hoping to catch more.

PS: Is that dog really mangy or is it just an Italian Spinoni (sp?)- the dog that looks abandoned from birth?

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 13:17

Italian Spinone

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 13:19

PS, Impatience- you do a good "dripping with sarcasm" tone.

OP posts:
feedmenow · 07/02/2007 13:28

What a crap day! Its been manic for me, and I'm feeling a little bit delicate too! My cousin and his wife are having a baby on Monday (c section) and my db and SIL are due their 1st baby next week. And although I'm really excited and pleased for them I'm also feeling like a bitter and twisted old hag.
However, have heard that alcohol and drugs taken together react and create a FANTASTIC anti-aging elixer so BRING IT ON!

Impatience · 07/02/2007 14:08

Many twisted and bitter old hags in here. Settle yourself in! The drugs don't make you younger, but you care less. Enjoy.

Soreheart · 07/02/2007 17:54

In answer to the Ovo stix question, it is quite personal as to how you approach this. My SIL did one every day for a month, just to see how it worked. Tested at same time every day - in the evening when she got back from work. Worked like a charm for her. Pg after one month. ARGH. I have been using them sporadically over the months and months and months and months and months and months ..where was I? Oh yes, they don't always agree with the old Persona which is very confusing. Honestly, the whole topic of 'when' is just another load of agony and confusion. Why am I weeing on so many stix?

There's no need to answer that one!!

Sloe gin anyone?

Original poster
duchesse · 07/02/2007 18:02

Mmm, sloe gin. Have stacks left from Christmas.

My OPKs are always negative. This agrees with the distinct lack of cervical mucus, but not with the distinct temperature I get about a week after the least negative of my OPKs (ie bottom line visible in daylight without holding the thing up to the window to find it). I do not understand my body any longer..

OP posts:
beansprout · 07/02/2007 18:06

Looks like I just have to piss on sticks morning, noon and night then and hope for the best. Great. Thanks for the advice though. You'd think that in this day and age they could just invent something that pinpointed our fecking fertility when we needed it.

I think I have have spent a lot of the day scaring male colleagues. Good.

Impatience · 07/02/2007 18:54

Beansprout, what exactly have you been doing at work today?!

beansprout · 07/02/2007 19:34

Have been in a series of meetings with fools and have not been suffering them gladly.

feedmenow · 07/02/2007 19:38

Popping in for a v. quick one before going to eat. Am mighty pissed off today as have recently started a healthy eating thing as instructed by the acupuncturist and was convinced it would aid weight loss (I have been really good re. choccie, cakes, biccies, etc). Anyway, I don't own scales so I weighed myself while at my mums only to discover I've GAINED weight!! How bloody unfair is that? So now I want to stuff my face, but will make do with a very large glass of wine please!

PinkElephant · 07/02/2007 21:14

Hello to all you miserable buggers!!
I'm getting totally frustrated with my body.... no sign of AF and I'm really hoping it happens soon as this will be the first time since my ectopic and I want things to be back to normal. Why is it when you want AF to arrive she doesn't and when your TTC she won't leave you alone!!!

plummymummy · 08/02/2007 01:41

Cos af is a twisted bitch who enjoys holding women to ransom. rahrah, no one here qualifies for a mental state assessment in my professional, (but humble) opinion, although statistically 1 in 3 will suffer ill mental health so............. No high profile criminals ala Hannibal Lecter - it's mainly men who burn down their hostels, men who smoke too much skunk or crack (or both), a few somalians who chew too much khat and people with manic illnesses who have grandiose delusions (eg that they are the best thing since sliced bread ............far too unpalatable for the general public who need to be protected from such narcissism). A lot of them have committed violent crimes but rarely on strangers. There was a woman who threw her baby out of the window

plummymummy · 08/02/2007 01:51

Beansprout did you know that men will apply for a job if they feel they meet 20% of the criteria, whereas women apply when they perceive they meet 80%? Does that confirm your findings from the day's events?
I can't sleep - hence the drivel. If I didn't have to get up for ds at 7am I'd be caning the alcohol left over from xmas followed by a day lying in bed emerging only to eat and toilet. How would you all spend the day, given the choice?