First time TTC - thread 2

[CinnamonTwist]

Thought I would create a fresh thread as the original had been going since Feb. This is for anyone TTC #1, a bit of moral support as we all attempt to embark on the scary journey that is parenthood! Join us if you are a mix of terrified and excited, don't really know what you're doing yet and hadn't heard of CM before you started reading Mumsnet!!

I have cramps today which has given me a glimmer of hope (and also the thought that AF is coming early). I got the bfn yesterday at 11dpo and was convinced I'm out but I don't usually get AF cramps til the day before (AF due Sunday).
jj and cinnamon did you get cramps, and if yes what dpo did they start on? They are very similar to AF cramps - I keep thinking AF is going to rock up anytime now...

for you eva!!

Yeah see I've read the instructions on the website pj for the clear blue one and that's what confuses me lol.

I've just found out my cousin is pregnant with her second child. Her first was an "accident" as she fell pregnant in the first month of seeing the guy. She also fell pregnant this time after missing two pills. I'm really happy for her but I feel like shit in myself. I know I'm only just getting going myself but women in my family fall pregnant so easily it really worries me that if I struggle I'll freak out. It's really got to me - am I a horrible human being?

Absolutely not a terrible human being busy! It's hard not to compare ourselves to others at times like this. I grew up with my mum telling me that all the women in our family were super fertile, that may be the case, but none of them were over 35!

On the digi instructions - It was only when I started actually doing it that I understood it!

Dtd today - on a week night! Unprecedented haha. This TTC business is hard work lol

Thanks pj I feel awful for it but it's like there's this little jealous monster sitting on my chest and it hurts. Christ I don't know how men and women who have been trying for years cope. I have always admired their strength but I've never felt anything like it since this wave of broodiness and hormones hit. Makes you see things differently. Ugh and on that emotional note I think I'll take myself to bed!

(Hopefully I'm just experiencing a cocktail of no sleep and blast of hormones and soppy busy will go away quickly!)

busy I was the same last week when sister in law told us they are pg. it's like I've been kicked in the stomach and takes me a couple of days to get over it!! Obviously over the moon for them but I think it's natural to feel like that when you want something so much.
Haha pj re week nights - were the same, weekend DTDers!! Cutting back on caffeine means after 6pm I'm almost attached to the sofa. I'm going to start forcing myself to take walks in the evening because I'm certainly not 'active' like all the advice says.

Eva I got what I thought were pre AF cramps for a few days beforehand and then tested the day AF was due (13dpo) expecting a negative and got a faint BFP. I had also tested at 9dpo and got a negative.
When I told my mum I commented that I hadn't expected it to happen the first cycle and that we hadn't actually tried that hard (we only dtd twice in my fw, both close to ovulation though) and she said that she's heard that's often the case. Apparently there was a study done which shows that when men know they are ttc they actually produce less sperm. My DH knew we were ttc, and was keen to, but hadn't actually realised we were in my fw those times, because I'd told him a week earlier that I wasn't in it yet so possibly that could have had an effect as to why it happened first go?

Thanks cinnamon, I tested again this morning, 13dpo, and bfn again. I might try that tip and tell DH that it's not FW so no pressure! We'll be on hol on next FW so hopefully more relaxed.
AF due Sunday but with these cramps (and now a bit of back ache) I think she might be coming early.

That's interesting cinnamon you'd think evolution would change that lol. I'm not going to be telling dp when we are in fw he's freaked out enough as it is when I talk about girl things lol. He's slowly learning but got a way to go.

Feeling a bit more in control of myself today! Still hormonal as hell but will be reet I'm sure

Glad to hear I'm not the only weekend DTDer Eva ha ha - it's so uncommon that when I woke up this morning I was convinced it was the weekend as we'd dtd the night before hahaha. Crushing blow when reality hit and I had to go to work!

Glad you're feeling a bit better today busy. My hormonal craziness around AF time is taking time to get used to!

Another weekend dtd here! I think my dh will be a bit confused when that changes lol. Have you seen these posts recently about how often people have sex? I'm reading them like I'm trying to get a bfp and even we don't have that much!

I see those posts and think as well busy! Neither of us have been like that, but as long as we're both happy it's fine! Has AF left the building now?

Fourth day of flashing smiley face on OPK and Ovia says fertile week starts today. We'll never dtd every day, but once would be an improvement on last month!

I'm out, AF got me this morning. I think the stomach ache is from pregnacare conception which I started last week. On to cycle 4.
Good luck for FW pyjamas

Boo to AF Eva fingers crossed for the next round.

DH in a foul mood for some unknown reason so am steering well clear and taking myself off for some retail therapy in the sun, not letting him spoil my good mood!

Yep I'm officially past my first AF. Although according to ovia my dh is going to be away the week of my FW so hoping ovia is wrong!

pj yay on the smiley face! I've decided to just ignore those posts as I don't understand how anyone has time for it! Don't they eat or sleep? I do lots of both. for you!

eva that sucks for you =] at least you know for sure now and can start getting your head straight for next month. I've tried the vitabiotics before and they always give me a bad stomach. I'm taking the seven seas one at the minute it's just the "conception" stuff no others and i don't even notice it. The doc said to me if normal vitamin pills make you ill the seven seas one is just as good in terms of the folic acid etc that you need.

Busy - Ovia had no idea what was going on last month and got the FW totally wrong by about a week!

Am on my 5th day of flashing smiley face which is a bit confusing - didn't dtd yesterday as thought chances would be higher today and there's no way we would do it today if we did it yesterday. According to Ovia my fertility score is 7.5 going up to 10 on Tuesday - we can maybe just about manage to dtd every other day ha ha

Eva sorry for the late reply but yes I had mild cramps and definately felt like af was about to turn up (I tested on 13dpo and got bfp).

On another note sorry to bring the mood down but I'm pretty sure I'm having a mc so I'll be joining you ladies again soon :(. I started bleeding really heavily yesterday morning and still going now. I spoke to the midwife first thing yesterday morning when it started and got to go for a scan first thing tomorrow morning as they're not open weekends :( so just waiting now.

jj I'm really sorry that sounds awful. Do they think it's definitely a mc or could it be a bleed? Sending and un-Mumsnetty hugs your way

See pj that makes me wonder if I should be doing opks more regularly rather than waiting. Esp as this is my first proper cycle. I have like 100 of them bought from Amazon so not going to run out soon. Also every other day is not to be sniffed at! Lol I think one of my friends put it brilliantly (and lightheartedly)by saying if you can manage it more than that you aren't doing it right lol. So you've had 5 days of smiley face but ovia reckons Tuesday? That's probably about right a week isn't it?

Thanks busy. The midwife said don't assume the worst it might be OK... but I know it's not. It's really heavy so I don't see how it could have survived that much bleeding and also I don't feel pregnant. I didn't really have any symptoms to start with and was worrying if something was wrong and then last sat/sun I started to feel queasy and thought this is it kicking in! But then by Monday I felt fine again so maybe it's been a few days coming :(. I did a cb earlier and got pregnant 1-2 weeks so that pretty much confirmed it and now I'm prepared for what they're going to say tomorrow.

Nothing can make you feel better at the minute but I really hope things go well for you. A friend of mine had horrific bleeding and everyone was sure it was a mc but it was just that a bleed and she ended up carrying to term. Don't want to get hopes up but try and stay calm listen to your midwife and we'll be rooting for you x

Oh jj I'm so sorry you're going through this Not to get hopes up too much but it may all not be lost - my mum had a lot of bleeding when she was pg with me. I've got my fingers crossed for you for tomorrow - if it is as you fear, big hugs to you.

Busy - Ovia said that my FW started yesterday but I started getting 'high' readings on Clearblue digi test last Wednesday, so who knows! That's why I started testing - at the end of the day Ovia is an app which is unconnected to me, the tests tell me what is actually happening in my body! Not giving Ovia too much of a hard time though, my cycles have been a bit nuts, so impossible for the fertility robots to predict anything!

Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it goes. I'd feel more positive if I had symptoms still and the test was strong but unfortunately I just don't think it's looking good. I'll see how it goes tomorrow.

We'll be thinking of you jj whether you need tea and sympathy or someone to let lose on or whatever it is you need we are here

sorry jj for the bleed, will have everything crossed for you tomorrow that all is ok xx

When is your appt jj? I hope it goes ok

I also had a bleed last night, spotted it just before I went to bed, cried my eyes out thinking the worst and slept really badly. It had stopped this morning but I rang the Drs anyway and they booked me in for a scan, which I have just got back from. Pregnancy is still there, in the right place (whatever that means?) and she could see a heartbeat. She was careful to point out that it was just a snapshot today and that bleeding could be nothing or could be an early sign that I will miscarry, but I feel so much better knowing that there's a heartbeat. It measured a week behind where I thought I was, pushing my due date out to 14th March

They couldn't find anything on the scan so I had a blood test and need to go back for another one on weds to make sure hormone levels are dropping. They said it's probably a miscarriage and everything is gone already but need to be sure levels do drop incase it's ectopic as they couldn't find anything:(.

I knew what they were going to say so just telling myself it wasn't meant to be and just have to try again now.