TTC after miscarriage thread #4

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Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

I really hope that your wee bean is ok Kate. i have everything crossed for you and Cheeky.

We are due a good few sticky ones. So many bfps and very few have made it in the last couple of months.

It is extremely luxurious Lucky. I am not used to it (more used to camping for a weekend away). I am off out now to see if I can buy a dress for dinner on the saturday night. Hardly anything I own fits these days

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your kind words. I'm not in any pain or bleeding (yet) but it is just the slow rising HCG that they are worried about. Apparently that is the way they diagnose an ectopic. But slow rising HCG can also mean a non-viable pregnancy BUT in 15% it is normal. So we are praying for a miracle basically.

Cheeky all my thoughts are with you. I am always here if you need to talk. The only consolation (and I say this knowing I may well be about to face the same) is that we aren't that far gone and it should resolve itself pretty quickly, and then you can get yourself under an amazing consultant or doctor? As I say, I say that very lightly because I know there is no real consolation. Pregnancy gives you hope and to have that taken away is just very very cruel. There are no words. Hope your mum is being a comfort? And your DH?

Lots of thoughts to everyone xx

Fingers crossed for you kate rise sounds promising. Sorry you're going through the uncertainty and worry.

cheeky just go with what you feel, there are no rights or wrongs. I often have a delayed emotional reaction myself but also found I was more resilient second time round as I knew what to expect and was less far into it. Hope your DH is being supportive? X

My mum came over today and was great. DH has been good too. It's definitely feeling better than last time since I wasn't as far gone. Getting to 12 weeks was heartbreaking last time.

My biggest concern right now is what to do regarding work and what to expect physically. Can anyone help? Will I need to take time off work? If I go down the natural route I don't know when it will happen so do I just go with the flow and then take time off when I need it? Will it be really painful and heavy? I know everyone's different but would really appreciate some insight. Sorry if I'm on the wrong thread for this, don't want to unnecessarily drag it up for people either

It's all so personal I guess cheeky. What job do you do? Are you bosses supportive? I would say that you should take a week off, to let yourself heal in every way. Any doctor would give you a note for that but of course it depends whether you can do that at your work?

After my chemical - 4 1/2 weeks - it was just like a very heavy crampy period but I managed to go to work (stocked with LOTS of pads to change every few hours) and just had a mega quiet life outside of work for a few weeks to recover properly. However with my other two - 8 weeks and 10/11 - there is NO way on earth I could have gone to work due to the pain and emotional distress.

If you are 6 weeks, I imagine it might be OK but I would still take a week off.

This is obviously if you are miscarrying, which you may not be. I still have everything crossed.

xx

Cheeky. I am so sorry for you that this is happening again. I am afraid that mine was at 9 weeks and I went for medical management so my experience maybe not that useful for you.
With the tablets there is a gradual build up and obviously you know that it will happen so are a bit more prepared for it.
There is a really useful thread on mumsnet/ or netmums about the practicalities of dealing with miscarriages. I read the whole thing to prepare myself for mine. Loads of people in that with many different experiences.
How many weeks are you (sorry I can't recall)? Depending on how far along it may be that you get a more period like sensation, in which case if you are at all up to it you could probably leave work as it starts. But, give yourself a break, if you can't face work then don't. You have to listen to your body in this case and unfortunately go with it!! All the best.

cheeky mine was when I was 7 weeks and it wasn't actually that painful, it was horrible but not painful. I took the week off work and bleed fairly heavily for that week, although nothing much more than a very heavy period, I was cramping on an off and was pretty uncomfortable. I actually can't remember it that much anymore but I know I was waiting for extreme pain as I thought that's what happened and it never arrived. Everyone is different though. I would definitely take some time off work if you can. Just to rest and if you do do things naturally I certainly didn't want to be at work whilst I was bleeding heavily just in case.

I totally agree with Jpeg and Miami. Take some time off. You never know what may happen and it is much better to be around your home comforts than having to deal with the unpredictability of being at work and having to put your 'game face' on. Be kind to yourself, rest, internet shop, watch TV and nourish yourself. xx

Thanks girls. Miami I was 6 weeks along.

I had medical management when I had the mmc at 12 weeks so I know a little about that. I don't think I want that again and natural will probably be the option to go for but ofcourse you don't know when it will hit the peak. Can't really take weeks off work and just sit around waiting. I work in the financial sector in a really busy job.

I think I'll probably go into work tomorrow and carry on as long as I can and just take time off if I feel I need it. Can self certify for a week. Hoping it won't come to that though to be honest. At the moment I've just had a tiny bit of bleeding.

I had my MC at about 8 weeks but baby stopped developing around 5. For me it was a long drawn out process for various reasons, but in the end I had an ERPC under general anaesthetic. I'd do the same again. (I went through what I thought was the MC before but didn't pass everything.) The ERPC was quick efficient no side effects.

On another note, I've had light cramps and started spitting today (about 10DPO and 3 days before periods due.) Did a cheapie test and got BFN but hoping it might be implantation.

Bless you, good luck for work cheeky. I really hope it is as smooth and pain free as possible. Are you back at the EPU on Tuesday did you say? xx

Exciting Missclarke! Hope it is your month! xx

Yeah hopeful, back on Tuesday. I just want this over with now. Work is really really busy at the moment, a good distraction but also difficult to take time off at the moment. If it needs to be done it needs to be done though. I won't be a martyr.

It's just difficult to plan when you leave it to happen naturally as it could take a few weeks.

I hope work is ok cheeky and I'm sure it will be a distraction especially if it's really busy. Make sure you rest as much as you can though.

missclarke fingers x for you

Good luck cheeky hope it doesn't come to that but if it does just see how you feel as you may not want to be at work. I had medical management at the hospital at 9 weeks...I started bleeding at the hospital and was a bit crampy but was the in a lot of pain when i got home - the most awful cramps...never felt anything like it. Painkillers worked after a while.

fingers crossed missclarke

Cheeky & kate thinking of you both. I've got everything crossed for you both. Life can be so cruel at times and both of you don't deserve to go through this again

DH came in from work earlier and told me we were going out. Really surprised. So he takes me to my favourite place to eat, cheap but I love it. Even more of a surprise when we walked in and all of my family were sitting there! I was so shocked! We had a lovely meal and laughed our heads off playing Chinese whispers, my dad is really deaf so what started with 'daddy delivers the wrong shopping' turned into 'daddy has a big rubber'! It was so funny.

Got in, took my bra off only to find my boobs are so sore I can't touch them. They were fine this morning and they also seem to be fuller than normal. Now I'm not reading into this but I never ever have sore boobs. The last time I had sore boobs was when I was pg last time and I didn't know I was at the time, put the soreness down to work. I can't do that this time.
I'm 11dpo today, my lp is between 12 & 15 days so if I've not got af in 5 days I'm testing. To be honest though I think it will be a bfn as I've had so many symptoms such as nausea and dizziness since my mc I don't trust any symptoms I get at all.

Amy what a lovely surprise from your DH bet that was such a nice evening! And sore boobs is promising! That happened to me when I was pg. I couldn't even tough them! Keep us posted x

JPEG mine were the same last time too, I should have guessed I pg but didn't even think as I hadn't had af since the July after coming off the depo injection. With all of my other pregnancies bar the last I had only dizziness nothing else. I'm not getting my hopes up though, staying grounded.
We had a really lovely evening. Back to reality now, I've just finished ironing. Having a hot choc, reading my book then off to bed.

amy sounds promising! Also what a lovely thing for DH to do.

cheeky I didn't take any time off with my natural MC at 6 weeks, but then the peak was Friday night - Sunday night when I passed the tissue, and the pain calmed down after that and I just had heavy bleeding for the next week. I am someone who can tough out a crisis and process emotionally later though, I think you need to listen to your own body and emotions. Like you it's not easy for me to take time off and I tend not to if I can help it. Like you say, if you need time off don't be a martyr though.

Cheeky It's horrible isn't it, sounds similar to what I went through last month. I was 6 weeks by dates but it was never quite right. I kept getting faint BFPs for ages even after I was late and then had low HCG level when it was tested (which is standard at booking in in Germany which I did at about 5 weeks by LMP). HCG was 99 which suggested 3-4 weeks. They couldn't see anything on a scan then and suggested I might have ovulated later, which is what led me to obsess over HCG levels!

I didn't take any digital tests but I did do some research on them because I was considering it but the cost was putting me off especially as I had access to blood tests etc. I was thinking maybe there was some hope for you but I think probably when you take the whole pattern with the EPU blood test into account (though they really should have done two) it doesn't look that good does it :( Sorry.

I will include this anyway as it might be helpful to you (first review explains how the weeks estimator thing works and the margins of error)

www.amazon.com/Clearblue-Advanced-Pregnancy-Weeks-Estimator/product-reviews/B00D05VGCS

And for comparison here is the most helpful HCG chart by day that I found.

www.babymed.com/is-my-hcg-blood-level-normal

You can see that there is enormous range even within one day which is why they say that only blood tests can tell you accurately what is happening because you need to be tested 48 hours apart and see how fast the levels are increasing or whether they are.

In terms of what to expect, I had spotting for a couple of days on and off (which was horrible because I kept feeling like it was okay and then being sad/anxious) and then it was exactly like a period for me. I normally have light periods and it was heavyish but I was only really needing one or two pads a day. I didn't suffer a lot with cramps. I was having pelvic floor pain towards the end (that stabbing "javelin in arse" pain) and I was really constipated and then made it worse because I was a bit scared to push when it was all happening I reckon if I hadn't been two weeks late I wouldn't have known it wasn't a normal period. I didn't see or feel anything resembling a sac in what I was passing but I wasn't really looking at the toilet paper etc. But certainly the event itself wasn't distressing or painful, only emotionally of course.

I think see how you go with work etc. I found the whole thing was okay, overall, but I definitely had a couple of days where I needed to hide under the duvet and do non demanding things and I was lucky in that my job allows me to do this. In terms of the actual bleeding it wasn't debilitating and it only lasted about a week altogether.

Hi Bertie. Thanks so much for sharing that. It makes total sense now. I couldn't find anything to explain it. I'll share that link on the thread I started about the weeks indicator in the hope that it'll help someone else one day.

you are right though - 129 is really low and most definitely miscarriage. I am having repeat bloods on Tuesday but it's more to just confirm what we already know.

Well 129 doesn't mean anything alone, it could mean you're 4+1 rather than 6 weeks as you thought. But as a whole with the other parts of the picture it's not a great sign, because I think you must have had higher levels on the 18th to get a 2-3 week reading at that point. Going by that estimate it seems clear that it's going down unfortunately.

Take care, I hope you have support. or if you feel ready.

Cheeky mine last month was like a normal but quite badly crampy period. I went to work. That was at 5 weeks. My niece at 5 weeks took about 5 weeks, on and off bleeding and cramping. She took a couple of weeks off work more for the mental effects than anything else. Then she decided to just go back.

I forgot to say happy anniversary earlier Amy. What a lovely surprise. Your DH is a good'un, That sounds really promising. Everything crossed for you.

Yes Bertie that's what I meant- as part of the bigger picture. The strange thing is when I've been racking my brains I've realised we dtd at the beginning of the fertile window (before cd 15 let's say) and then didn't dtd until the night before AF was due (Sunday 8th). I'm pretty sure we dtd in between although it's possible I've forgotten. I must have had a very very late ovulation and 'conceived' on that night but then it seems a miracle I got a BFP on the Thursday on an early response albeit a faint one. Coupled with the fact the hormone level must have been higher for me to get the 2-3 , I've just had a really weird cycle and body's tried to get pregnant.

Have only really had spotting on wiping yet. Don't have any pregnancy symptoms now though and the cramps are in my lower back. It's most certainly over whichever way it's happened. I can feel my body is trying to get rid but how smoothly that happens is another question.