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Conception

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TTC for 10 months or more, and now we're moving onto thread 4! Ten plussers welcome!

998 replies

MPP81 · 05/04/2016 01:12

Thread for anyone TTC for over ten months. Please feel free to join us!

Took the liberty of starting a new thread (with what is obviously a brilliant piece of rhyme!) as I assume everyone else is sleeping peacefully right now :)

OP posts:
loopylou1984 · 14/04/2016 07:24

Lucie good luck this morning, praying for a wonderful surprise for you. Xx

JustTrixie · 14/04/2016 10:02

Thinking of you Lucie, I thought it would be an internal scan at this stage too. Keep us posted xx

MPP81 · 14/04/2016 10:03

Thinking of you Lucie. Xx

OP posts:
Brenna24 · 14/04/2016 10:20

Best of luck for today Lucie.

Itsme247 · 14/04/2016 11:27

Best of luck Lucie, I hope all works out for you.

RebeccaNoodles · 14/04/2016 11:36

I've just caught up - Lucie what a roller coaster, sending all good wishes for you.

Thinking of you Banana. That was sad news to hear. I'm really sorry Thanks

bananafish81 · 14/04/2016 13:03

lucie thinking of you, we’re all here rooting for you and DH Flowers

sammy I can totally relate to the jealousy, god I have such anger. I cannot believe people just have some sex and get a baby 9 months later. I feel like such a bitter and twisted old hag, but that’s what this journey has done to me.

Re: the Athens immunes, I put a load of info onto a couple of fertility friends threads, can happily send you the links to find out more

However the tests aren’t of any real use unless you’ve got a Dr who will prescribe immunes treatment. Many private Drs will prescribe immunes tx empirically - i.e. they’re happy to prescribe immunes treatment without any of the tests, if they think your history indicates you might benefit from it - e.g. previous implantation failure or miscarriage. That’s the case with the Dr treating stealth and I, and sounds like it’s the case for lucie. I only did the tests because I wanted to understand what might have caused my miscarriage - I didn’t need to, as my Dr will add immunes to the protocol anyway.

So I can happily give you some pointers about the tests, but I’d say the important bit is finding out if your Dr will prescribe immunes first - otherwise you could end up spending money on tests, but can’t actually do anything with them.

Re: the thin lining - from what you describe, it really doesn’t sound like you’re likely to have the same kind of lining issues I’ve had, so I really don’t think you need to panic.

In a natural cycle, my lining never thickened up at all. I haven’t had an actual period since May last year (when I came off the pill) - with the sole exception of after my first IVF cycle - when I got a 6mm lining, enough for something resembling an actual period. In a natural cycle I’d ovulate, and something vaguely AF-like would turn up 14 days later, but it was never a proper period. Not just light flow - no red flow at all. I never had a proper bleed - just brown spotting and some brown/black clots. My lining never got above 4-5mm - so my scanty periods made sense, if there wasn’t enough to shed, or maybe didn’t shed properly.

So it’s possible there was some old, dead lining that never got cleared out - so although the lining did eventually thicken up once we threw a boatload of oestrogen at it, maybe it was growing on crap foundations, that couldn’t sustain a pregnancy. And maybe the D&C will have been therapeutic, giving me the clear out I potentially needed.

But it’s just a guess. And one I don’t think you need to worry about, because it sounds like your lining fundamentally works, it just needs a bit more oomph to get to the optimal thickness for transfer

pikz thanks for sharing your experiences - it often seems as though everyone else has beautiful juicy lining, and I’m the only one who has lining problems. It’s such a crucial part of getting and staying pregnant, and yet it hardly seems to get a mention anywhere! I’m delighted to hear that your issues were sorted after your lap - were your adhesions ashermans?

welcome back boris - hope you had lots of hot chocolate in lieu of vin chaud!

itsme yippee, you have liftoff! Please don’t get worried about all the lining, immunes, PGS etc chat. Stuff like lining will be monitored whenever you’re scanned - it’s just mentioned a lot here because some of have particular issues with our lining. Immunes isn’t something the NHS do, and it’s not something anyone really needs to consider on a first cycle - it’s quite a controversial area within fertility, and it’s more in the ’everything on paper looks right, but why isn’t this working, is there something else going on?’ camp. Similarly PGS - again, not an NHS thing, and not a first cycle thing. So all good!

Two books I found really helpful to get my head round IVF at the start are ‘Zita West’s Guide to Fertility and Assisted Conception’ and ‘Get A Life: His & Hers Survival Guide to IVF’

Thanks to Rebecca Brenna* Trixie MPP and Stealth (apols if I’ve missed anyone off)

Thanks to you all for your support, absolute rollercoaster here. You've all been so lovely. Will post more later, right now there’s other shit going down, and don’t want to hog the thread with the latest in the never-ending banana miscarriage saga…

xxx

Pikz · 14/04/2016 13:12

Banana yes I have ashermans and endo... It's been a constant battle to try and get pregnant. But I am very lucky that my consultant eventually got it to happen. I do think the q10, reflexology and warm feet did help but only post the laps and hysteroscopies and lining removal.

Sammy I think every person on this thread massively gets the jealously. I just watched an old one born, where a woman got pregnant after missing her pill one. My first reaction was 'oh do fuck off!'

lucieloos · 14/04/2016 13:32

It's all over now. Had the scan. She couldn't see anything which resembled a 6 week sac. She saw one or two tiny black blobs but nothing viable. One by ovary so possibly ectopic. Had bloods today and got to go back for more Saturday to see what the hcg is doing but either way there won't be a baby. Not sure how much more of this I can go through!

BorisIsBack · 14/04/2016 13:37

Lucie - I'm so very sorry. Utterly heart breaking for you. Much love to you and your DH. Flowers xxxx

bananafish81 · 14/04/2016 13:41

Oh lucie. I have no words of comfort for you and DH. I don't understand how life can be so cruel. You don't deserve this. Heartbroken for you - sending much love and strength Thanksxxxx

JustTrixie · 14/04/2016 14:03

I'm so sorry Lucie, devastated for you. Sending hugs and loveFlowers x x

MPP81 · 14/04/2016 14:09

I'm so sorry Lucie Flowers xxx

OP posts:
Itsme247 · 14/04/2016 14:37

I'm sorry Lucie, this journey is so so cruel sometimes.

RebeccaNoodles · 14/04/2016 14:41

I am so, so sorry, that is heartbreaking. ThanksThanksto you and DH.

lucieloos · 14/04/2016 15:05

Thanks everyone, the hospital have just rung and my beta is only 119 now so very low. I'm hoping this means it won't be ectopic and will continue to fall at Saturday's test and will resolve itself quite quickly.

I stopped in at my IVF clinic before leaving the hospital and they were lovely and have given me a follow up appt for 2 weeks today so at least I don't have to wait forever for that.

I just feel like I'm in a negative place at the moment and that it's not ever going to work for us now. It's so hard to keep going. I can't bear the thought of going through it all again and coming away with a bfn.

Brenna24 · 14/04/2016 15:07

Have some huge un-mumsnetty hugs Lucie. I am really sorry, it is cruel and horrible. Have some Cake and Wine.

loopylou1984 · 14/04/2016 17:05

Lucy I am so sorry lovely. I know you'll be feeling terrible right now, and nothing I can say will make you feel better. But know I'm thinking of you.
I'm glad it doesn't look like its ectopic.

Banana - thank you, I'll see what the consultant says tomorrow and go from there re the immunes. I may be asking for your advice yet!
How long did it take from getting your blood taken to getting the results just so I know. Xx

Pikz · 14/04/2016 17:14

Lucie wrapping you up in the biggest hug ever

lucieloos · 14/04/2016 19:12

Thanks everyone, you are all so lovely. Had a good cry today and will be off work tomorrow so I have a long weekend to come to terms with things. I also have Tuesday and Wednesday next week booked off work as I was supposed to be having a midwife appt and scan so I might still take those days off if I need them. I know it's silly but I really feel like I've let DH down. When we found out I was pregnant he said it was the best news he had ever had in his life as he really wants to be a dad and now all that has been taken away and i know I'm not ultimately to blame but i feel like maybe my body has let us down. I'm also worried now (probably irrationally) but I feel like maybe this means all our embryos will be abnormal and they either won't implant or we will miscarry all the time. It really messes with your head.

Banana, I didn't really get chance to reply to you properly following your test results. I'm really sorry to hear it wasn't a chromosomal issue as I know that is what you were hoping for. Your consultant sounds amazing though and I'm sure he will do everything possible to make your next round a success. Will you still go ahead with another fresh round rather than using the frosties if it isn't a chromosomal issue? When is your next beta? I'm not sure how long to expect to wait for mine to fall. It's only 119 now so I'm thinking maybe a week? I have no idea though.

I think i would probably like to start the next round as soon as I can, preferably in May. I know it will probably sound like I'm rushing in but I just find its the best way to deal with it and move on. I will see what they say at the appt in 2 weeks time though.

Sammy, good luck with your appt tomorrow i hope it goes well and you get answers to all your questions.

Hi to everyone else and thanks for all the lovely words.

JustTrixie · 14/04/2016 19:18

It's such a horrible thing to happen Lucie, especially after everything you've gone through. You will find the strength to keep going and we're all here to support you xx

JustTrixie · 14/04/2016 19:26

Argh was so slow writing that it crossed with your post Lucie. Please don't think you've let your DH down. Time off work sounds like a good idea. Will you be doing the mini IVF in May? You wont be far behind me.

BorisIsBack · 14/04/2016 19:49

Lucie - time off sounds sensible. As does formulating a new plan soon - it helps to have something to work to. Try to vanish the negative thoughts, it's totally understandable that you have them but try not to dwell. You've not let DH down - I bet he couldn't be prouder of the fight you are showing and your determination.

lucieloos · 14/04/2016 20:17

Thanks everyone, you are all so lovely. Had a good cry today and will be off work tomorrow so I have a long weekend to come to terms with things. I also have Tuesday and Wednesday next week booked off work as I was supposed to be having a midwife appt and scan so I might still take those days off if I need them. I know it's silly but I really feel like I've let DH down. When we found out I was pregnant he said it was the best news he had ever had in his life as he really wants to be a dad and now all that has been taken away and i know I'm not ultimately to blame but i feel like maybe my body has let us down. I'm also worried now (probably irrationally) but I feel like maybe this means all our embryos will be abnormal and they either won't implant or we will miscarry all the time. It really messes with your head.

Banana, I didn't really get chance to reply to you properly following your test results. I'm really sorry to hear it wasn't a chromosomal issue as I know that is what you were hoping for. Your consultant sounds amazing though and I'm sure he will do everything possible to make your next round a success. Will you still go ahead with another fresh round rather than using the frosties if it isn't a chromosomal issue? When is your next beta? I'm not sure how long to expect to wait for mine to fall. It's only 119 now so I'm thinking maybe a week? I have no idea though.

I think i would probably like to start the next round as soon as I can, preferably in May. I know it will probably sound like I'm rushing in but I just find its the best way to deal with it and move on. I will see what they say at the appt in 2 weeks time though.

Sammy, good luck with your appt tomorrow i hope it goes well and you get answers to all your questions.

Hi to everyone else and thanks for all the lovely words.

loopylou1984 · 14/04/2016 21:51

I'm so sorry Lucie. Glad you have some time off to grieve. Hope you and DH are both ok.

I will update after appointment tomorrow. Xx