TTC for 10 months or more, and now we're moving onto thread 4! Ten plussers welcome!

[MPP81]

Thread for anyone TTC for over ten months. Please feel free to join us!

Took the liberty of starting a new thread (with what is obviously a brilliant piece of rhyme!) as I assume everyone else is sleeping peacefully right now :)

[lucieloos]

New thread is here Sorry not an exciting title as just did it quickly in work x

[Brenna24]

Thank you guys. He is one in a million. He can drive me potty doing silly things on a day to day basis, but I know when things get tough he has my back and we work together well. And I know he cares a lot.

We are leaving on the 6th of July. I am going to roast. I don't normally go abroad in summer. I do have to get used to it before we move out there though. I have a wee memory box with my scan photo and positive test. The others weren't far enough along to get any scans, remains or ashes, but I keep the tests.

My work is great but also very frustrating. It doesn't feel like I have moved one step forward in a year. It is driving me bonkers.

[lucieloos]

Thanks Banana, that's really helpful! I've read that medicated or part medicated like you are doing have higher success rates than all natural fets. Would be great if you can keep us posted with the process.

Brenna, sounds like you have a great break planned and I concur your DH sounds very thoughtful and lovely.

[maplebaby]

Brenna what a lovely lovely DH you have - I'm so sorry you've felt so low but sounds like DH is looking after you amazingly! How sweet that he went round Debenhams picking out items for you!

Italy and Romania sound like a fab break - when do you go?

Big hugs - what a lovely idea to add the baby's ashes to the family vault. Do you have other mementos you can keep at home?

[bananafish81]

If you start the oestrogen that early it will block ovulation

My Dr said for me it might be beneficial to start the oestrogen a bit later and see if I develop a leading follicle so we could piggyback off my natural oestrogen

It would just be like a natural FET with additional oestrogen support, where we could trigger ovulation and book transfer to catch the natural implantation window - the only issue would be if my lining didn't keep pace and wasn't sufficiently thick by the time of ovulation, when we'd have to block it (then trigger) to give the lining time to catch up. In any case now I'm PCO we don't know if I'll ovulate by myself anyway

If I didn't have any lining issues the Dr would recommend a natural FET - but as I do, medicated it is!!

If you're starting oestrogen that early on you won't develop a leading follicle anyway, so you can just start progesterone and book transfer when the lining is sufficiently thick

Will report back when I next see the Dr for my baseline!

[lucieloos]

Thanks banana, what is zoladex? Is that like cetrotide? If you ovulated through the estrogen it would have to be noticed in time in order to adjust the transfer date but I don't think it is always picked up. I would be starting 6mg estrogen from day 1 of cycle so hopefully that would be enough and then I guess they would check the size of the follicles at the first scan which is normally around day 10. I'm just really worried about the timing of everything and ovulating but just have to see what happens I guess. I will cancel if there are any doubts.

[bananafish81]

I know someone else who also had Cetrotide on a short protocol FET, and someone else who had buserelin on a short protocol FET, so there's lots of different combos!

[bananafish81]

Ah Brenna your DH sounds like a gem. And thank you so much for slapping some sense into me. Your work sounds incredible. It's really interesting as the new research into recurrent miscarriage by Prof Quenby and Brosens points to the importance of menstruation and uterine stem cells in the regeneration of the endometrium. All fascinating stuff!

lucie Dr said oestrogen if started early enough would block ovulation. He said if a leading follicle did develop that wasn't necessarily a problem as long as the lining kept pace with the follicle development. But that if we wanted to block ovulation if that happened, we could just add in some zoladex. Ovulation isn't a problem as long as the lining is where you want it to be - but it's easy enough to block if needed.

[lucieloos]

Banana, thank you! So pleased it's all done and we can move on. Just wish I could start with fet a bit sooner but at least we can have a go at the mini in the meantime. Your fet process sounds the same as mine. I'm just worried about ovulating through the estrogen and messing up the timing for transfer. I know it only happens to a very small number of people but I'm convinced I ovulated during my first IVF cycle. If one of the follicles started getting large during fet that would terrify me lol. Has you consultant said anything about this?

[Brenna24]

Cross posted Banana. Big hugs. You didn't kill the baby. Even if it was genetically healthy and developing fine when it went in, there are many, many things that can still go wrong. I work on turning a type fo stem cells into pancreatic cells. I can take the same line of cells and treat with the same concentrations of drugs and growth factors for the same length of time and sometimes the cells change down the right pathway, sometimes they die and sometimes they go rogue and turn into something totally random. I know the whole process is on a knife edge, especially the very early stages and I still feel like it is my fault/I must have done something wrong etc. each time. Hopefully next time will be your time.

[Brenna24]

Thanks all. I think it was partly the come down from the appointment but mostly we were going away for the weekend to somehwere very posh, nice meal booked for the saturday night. I have put on 2 stone in the last year. No surprise given I have spent ofer half of a 9 months stretch in the first trimester and can deal with morning sickness with loads of carbs, plus my hormones have been so up and down and a lot os other stress. I went through my wardrobe and tried on every single dress and I didn't have a single one where the zip would go up. I was crying my eyes out by the end of it. I knew that was likely and had run into towl late last sunday afternoon and the only thing I tried on made me look like a walking marquee. I just could not face going on the most expensive holiday of our lives, for our first wedding anniversary and not having anything nice to wear at all. I felt like a whale. Plus it was a spa weekend and the thought of putting on a bikini was way to much for me.

My DH is a saint though. Lots of cuddles and him a bit upset as he felt like I shouldn't be upset since he still thinks I am beautiful and that should be all that matters. He arranged to meet me at lunchtime and when I got into town he had got out of work very early and been round Debenhams and picked out dresses and swimming costumes for me to try on. It was such a sweet gesture. Plus he found two lovely dresses and a very squidge the tummy in cossie. So in the end I was fine and the weekend away was amazing (and I did loads of swimming and went out for a run). Since I have a good 2 months when I know I will not be pregnanat the diet and exercise have started in earnest this week. We have booked a holiday to his family in Italy, then on to a wedding in Romania. We didn't think we would manage as it would have been a last minute dash to Romania for the weekend if I wasn't pregnant but now we know we can't try this month and next month the holiday is in my fertile window. So tickets are booked and we have a hotel in Romania. I am quite looking forward to the break in routine and if we are very, very, very lucky we can get back from holiday to find out I am pregnant again. Our blod test results should come in about the same time as AF is due, so if we are there is a chance we can get ttreatment to help us keep this one.

I still feel really sad this week, I don't really know why. Hormones possibly. Plus we are taking the first baby's ashes to Italy to the family vault when we go, so after July I won't have my baby with me in the house any more.

[bananafish81]

lucie amazing news about the hCG! So, so, so, pleased for you. I can’t believe two of us went through such a struggle to get UN-pregnanted after miscarriages, so very very glad you can close that chapter and move on. And hurrah for hollibobs!

I’m to call up when my period arrives in about a week, if baseline shows my lining has shed properly and my ovaries are looking OK, we’ll crack on with a FET (I guess we’ll start before the results are back, hoping that there’s at least one good one amongst the 12!)

I know you asked stealth about her FET protocol, but just to chip in, as we’re both seeing the same consultant, I’ll be doing a short protocol FET. The oestrogen will block ovulation, so Dr said no need to downreg - and that even if I were to develop a leading follicle, that would be no bad thing, as we could piggy back off my body’s natural oestrogen.

maple silly me forgetting about the IUI! Terrific that you’ll be monitored so closely, excited for you. And great news about all those distractions

sammy excited for you to get going, though totally get THE FEAR too. My Dr said so often first cycles are as much of a diagnostic exercise as anything, so your clinic will have learned loads from your response last time, to tailor your cycle this time around

brenna big hugs lovely. It’s a tough road - please be kind to yourself

I think I’m going to look into the counselling that’s offered by the clinic as part of the cost of the cycle, as I’m now starting to get really nervous about the upcoming FET - tbh I’m almost more scared about what if it DOES work, than if it doesn’t. With the MMC of a healthy baby it terrifies me that I had no idea anything had gone wrong, and if I’m lucky enough to get pregnant again I’ll spend every waking minute thinking ‘have I killed the baby again?’

I’m also crapping myself about having to come off all my pain meds again. I’m now prepared for how much pain to expect, which I wasn’t last time, as I hadn’t had uncontrolled pain for 15 years. But knowing what to expect makes the anticipation even worse!

Gah. Can you imagine being someone who had some sex, got pregnant, and all you worried about was swollen ankles and what kind of labour you wanted, and then got a baby 9 months later?!

[lucieloos]

Thanks everyone. It's a relief to finally be able to close the door on this one.

Stealth, are you able to tell me what your fet protocol was please? My clinic uses estrogen only and then adds progesterone towards the end but I know some clinic also down reg too?

Brenna, sorry you are feeling down. Hope things pick up soon.

[stealthbanana]

lucie YES. Fantastic news. Now you can go and enjoy your holiday in peace. What a roller coaster.

sammy and brenna

[maplebaby]

Lucie yes! Glad you can close the book on it all finally. Glad you are feeling better about the next round.

Brenna sorry you have been feeling upset recently it's so hard going through all the roller coaster of emotions - sometimes you can feel like you can keep it together and others it really hits you. Thinking of you and as sammy says come on here and vent to us!

Only 15 more posts till we need a shiny new thread!! Who's going to do the honours?! X

[loopylou1984]

Oh Brenna, it's horrible. You're allowed time to feel sad though. It is rubbish. Glad you're starting to feel better, come and rant/cry to us any time! Xx

[Brenna24]

So happy for you Lucie.

Big hugs Sammy.

I have missed so much over the last few days. I had an epic meltdown last thursday night, then a weekend away. Then I have been quite busy at work and a bit upset and withdrawn. Starting to get better again now though.

[loopylou1984]

Lucie - hooray!!

I'm glad you're feeling as relaxed as you can be in this situation. And no, not much longer for me either.

Gee - don't worry. You'll soon be up to date

We're going to need a new thread soon, can anyone think of a catchy title? Xx

[lucieloos]

Just rung the hospital and my beta is now negative so no more hospital trips and that's the end of that little saga!

[geeup]

Hi everyone just checking in to say hi. There's so many of us I am still learning what's going on with everyone so won't namecheck you all but know that I am wishing you all the best everyday! I'm learning a lot from you ladies so thank you very much.

[lucieloos]

Sammy, it's very hard isn't it. We are really close as well as we are such a small family with only 8 of us incl my grandad. It's hard and will be a massive hole in our lives when he goes. I just really wanted him to know we were pregnant (we didn't tell him last time luckily) but I'm not sure we will get that chance now. Not too much longer for you now before you getting started. I'm looking forward to my next round. It's been a long time! Plus I feel like I've had pretty much everything IVF can throw at me now from cancelled cycles to not many follicles to far less eggs than expected to ectopic pregnancy. I feel a lot more relaxed and able to take the next round in my stride. It's only mini IVF so that in itself helps as we know from the outset there won't be many eggs. Just need to get the next couple of weeks over, enjoy holibobs then get planning!

[loopylou1984]

Star - great news that the SA improved! And yes IVF instead of icsi is def cause for celebration!

Trixie - I didn't realise you hadn't had otd yet. I know how hard that call to the clinic is, so thinking of you.

Banana - thank you. I think it did require some swearing. I'm yet to believe any of my friends may have struggled due to v.small wedding to pg announcement gaps... Well all except a work colleague who has a 5.5year age gap and has posted at least two links to IVF/infertility articles on Facebook. 12 blastocysts!! That's amazing, congratulations! I get the fear, but I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

Lucie - it's so hard isn't it. I'm really close to my family, so struggling with this incurable illness if I'm honest. Fx for your blood test, and exciting about a nice long holibobs!

Maple - that's sounds like a good lot of distractions

I have 20 more days of taking the pill. That's less than three weeks... I'm wishing June away but equally terrified to get to baseline, injections, nervously awaiting phone calls and finding out if we've made a baby third time lucky

[maplebaby]

Sammy I have hen dos, acupuncture and a weekend away to look forward to so hopefully that will keep me occupied!

Star that's great news about SA!!

Trixie a mini break sounds like a lovely idea.

Banana they will monitor me as I'm having IUI so should be ok on the scanning front! What fab news about the blasts! Another tww, fingers crossed for even more good news!

[lucieloos]

Banana, that's brilliant news about the embryos! Sounds like you should get a decent number of normal blasts from that lot. I also have the same worry about transferring a normal one. There feels like a lot of pressure on it to work and it if doesn't what next! Will you begin the fet as soon as the results have come back?

Trixie, hope you are ok and can get a date sorted tomorrow for your follow up and then you can get going with the fet ASAP.

Star, great news on the supplements. I don't have any experience of clomid sorry but looks like banana has given some good advice.

Sammy, I know how you feel. My grandad who is my last living grandparent was only expected to live until last Christmas. He is still with us at the moment but every day is a bonus. I thought when I got pregnant a couple of months ago we would at least be able to show him scan pictures even if he wouldn't be here to see the actual baby but that's looking less and less likely now.

Afm, sat waiting in the hospital for what will hopefully be my last blood test. I'm hoping I can stock up on the higher strength folic acid as well to boost my supply back up and then it's just a waiting game before we give the mini IVF a try towards the end of July. We are off to turkey 2 weeks on Saturday so will be great if all this is done and dusted this week and we can look forward to some proper relaxation before beginning again.

[bananafish81]

star great news about the SA! Re: timed intercourse, given low-ish count I would ask your clinic for advice, normally eod in the days leading up to trigger in the absence of male factor, potentially every 3 days with low count. I was told by my Dr to cover off approx +24h and +36h post trigger (i.e. the day after trigger, and again the next morning). However we don’t have any male factor issues and your clinic may advise otherwise

You don’t want to start AFTER trigger as that’s the LH surge so you’ll ovulate approx 36-37h post trigger, and the egg only lives for about 12h. You want to start before to get the swimmers ready, and then immediately post trigger (within 36h) is the most important shag

sammy hugs. Can’t the baby bombs just FUCK THE FUCK OFF (sorry, potty mouth, but some occasions deserve serious swears). Apparently some people have sex, get pregnant and get a baby 9 months later. When people say how expensive having kids is, I wanna say ‘yeah, try MAKING them’

(all that said, since ‘coming out’ about IVF I have found that loads of FB friends I thought were just smug fertiles with their perfect families also struggled. One had 3 miscarriages in the space of 11 months. One had 5 years of TTC, 7 IUIs, 2 fresh, 2 FET and several miscarriages to get her two kids -I obv just saw two very cute kids and had no idea of her struggle. Another had 2 MMC @ 12 weeks between her first and second kids. You just don’t know)

Your friends don’t sound like they fall into that category though, you’re not a bitch, you’re human. All the hugs.

Itsme the thought of the injections is way worse than the actual doing of them. I didn’t get an injections teach at all - we just watched a YouTube video and stabbed on our first night of stims. You’ll be a pro in no time!

molly and geeup sorry you find yourselves here, but welcome - it’s a fabulous group of very lovely, very knowledgable and very supportive women

Trixie thinking of you lovely. Hope you and DH can do something to be kind to yourselves. Mini break sounds like a terrific idea - I’d say an essential part of the protocol

maple woohoo for appointment coming through! Do ask if you’re going to be monitored on Clomid. Some trusts have a nasty habit of just giving out Clomid without scans and just doing progesterone blood tests to see if you’ve ovulated or not. Push for scans, because you
a) need to know if the Clomid is making you over-respond, and risking multiples
b) if it’s making you ovulate but thinning your lining, and thus simultaneously ‘working’ but making it impossible to conceive if nothing can implant (less common but possible)

Mpp hope you don’t see this and are having a fab honeymoon!

lucie hope you had a lovely weekend away and a nice break with DH



So, after two nerve wracking days of waiting for calls, the final tally is in for our embryos

We have a grand total of 12 blasts for PGS testing!

From this fresh cycle, we ended up with 9 good blasts that were suitable for biopsy and freezing.

Of our 4 frosties, 3 of them were able to be biopsied. Although the fourth did thaw, it didn’t successfully re-expand and progress to hatching blast stage, and therefore wasn’t suitable for biopsy.

Although we won’t ever know for sure, the lab say in general that euploid embryos do generally survive the freeze / thaw process, and those that don’t are generally aneuploid - so it’s likely that this embryo was a dud and just weeded itself out

We’re thrilled with these numbers - now we just have to hope that in two weeks time (yes, another 2ww!) that there are some decent ones in there - and most of all, that there’s one that will be able to go the distance and become a person 9 months later. The FET is what terrifies me, as if we put a PGS tested embryo back and the cycle fails or I miscarry again, it’s all down to my body’s inability to sustain a pregnancy. Even if we get a good seed, if we can’t get the soil right, it’s all for naught. So just really really have to hope my body won’t let another healthy baby down