TTC for 10 months or more, and now we're moving onto thread 4! Ten plussers welcome!

[MPP81]

Thread for anyone TTC for over ten months. Please feel free to join us!

Took the liberty of starting a new thread (with what is obviously a brilliant piece of rhyme!) as I assume everyone else is sleeping peacefully right now :)

Lol - well maybe you should tell them how early you tested? Clearly you got a result even back then!
What should your hcg level be at this point?

DH is lovely, although he prefers to be in the 'let's forget about it until the time comes' mindset. I also think that he is pinning his hopes on the Accupuncture being some kind of miracle cure. Gah. I need to turn my stupid brain off,or at least the part that keeps thinking that 'he would be so happy if he had a child, maybe I should let him go' I know he doesn't think like that. Xx

Lol - I might just be vague 😂. I have no idea what hcg should be, the acceptable range seems enormous (literally 10-1000 or something ridiculous like that). I think the important thing is that the numbers go up so am guessing I'll have a couple of tests this week.

Bless. My DH is a bit ostrich-like too. You should DEFINITELY turn that part of your brain off, whilst IVF is tough, no one is to blame and I'm sure your DH would not be happier elsewhere. Those marriage vows mean something xxx and you never know, maybe you will have an acupuncture-assisted instadiff

Oh Sammy that is so hard. I think a nice break will do you the world of good. We had decided not to book anything until the very last minute assuming I wasn't pregnant as I miscarried just after flying last time. Earlier this week we got an invite to a wedding in Romania in July and we had just made plans to go to Italy first and visit DH's family/drop off Rowan's (our last baby) ashes and then go on to Romania for the wedding. We weren't going to go as far as actually booking anything yet ut we had kind of given up to the point that we were just accepting this was likely to happen. 4 days later...erm...hun, I'm a bit late....

It was a natural conception. DH is catholic and absolutely will not consider IVF so the most we could have done intervention wise is to get clomid and testing. So we really are dependent on this working the natural way. I'm 38 so we don't have that long either.

Stealth It does work this way for some people. I'm rooting for you that you are one of them. Call them and get the beta done, you don't need to mention exactly when you test. I bet everyone tests early and they are used to it. Over on the pregnant after miscarriage thread someone said to repeat the mantra 'today I am pregnant' when you are having a wobble because that is true Today you are pregnant and there is no point in spoiling today worrying about what may or may not happen tomorrow. Enjoy being pregnant today (easier said that done for me when I know how easily you can be robbed of it all but I am trying).

Rebecca thanks for the tip! I go to the loo a lot when I'm nervous so hopefully I will be ok haha!

Sammy you definitely deserve a nice long weekend away in the sun with DH - it will be good to have something to look forward to! Definitely turn that part of the brain off - he loves you and wouldn't be wishing or thinking like that. I can't begin to imagine how tough it is but you don't want to make it harder by thinking that way.

Brenna I like the "today I am pregnant" mantra. I'm sure it's easier said than done but so true.

AFM I had my ultrasound today by a lovely consultant. Everything was normal and he didn't think I have PCOS. He said I had 8 follicles in my left ovary (didn't say how many in right but he was counting under his breath and I think it was 9/10) which is apparently normal and that my uterus is tilted backwards? He's getting me to do an AMH test before I see my consultant on 5th. Next step is Hycosy on Thursday!

I have had horrible cramping all afternoon and some pink when I wiped. Right now I don't think things are looking so good. I've spent the afternoon in bed hoping for the best.

Brenna it's probably just implantation I had that too. It's pretty common.

Maple, glad things are moving forward for you. All sounds good so far.

Sammy, when will you find out when you can start your round? Your long weekend away sounds lovely.

We have been busy sorting out our garden this last week which has been a nice distraction. We moved in a couple of years ago but haven't done much with it so been planning that and planting stuff up. Feeling a little better. The main thing that worries me at the moment is age now that I'm nearly pushing 37

brenna try not to stress is massive hypocrite . Fx that bean is sticking tight!

lucie gardening is always v satisfying. If I can offer some small words of comfort, i wouldn't think of 37 as being a sort of drop off point (like in all the scary graphs). All the stats are based on aggregated data and you are one person who has a well established pattern of response. I'm not suggesting that you delay til you're 40, but I don't think anything catastrophic is going to happen immediately and your proactive approach will work for you, I'm sure of it xx

Thanks stealth I am worried about response but I'm also worried about time getting on as I never wanted to be an older parent but just feel like I don't have much choice now.

Well that's right - none of us can turn back time! My DH is 46 and he probably would prefer to be 10 years younger but, you know, we are where we are. 36/7 is really not old - I know this because every single medical professional I come across in a fertility context constantly tells me that I'm SO young and I have SO much time . Only in London, eh?! Seriously though you are healthy and active and there's no reason you can't be as an amazing mother in your late 30s as in your early 30s

Xxx

Sorry to hear that Brenna - hope you're managing to stay calm and distract yourself, not easy I know. Give your dog a big pat, some pet therapy might be in order. Fingers X tight for you.

Lucie I know what you mean re age, I'll be 39 this week. I was v worried about it a while back but now I think you can be lucky/unlucky at any age - my friend who got pg after 3 months is 38. And yes, it's better to have youth on your side but 37 is really not the end, nor is 39!

I'm 26, I don't think infertility cares how old you are! This is an interesting question, those with babies born by IVF will you tell them when they're older?

I hear you itsme - it doesn't discriminate!

Re IVF, definitely. 100%! I don't see any reason not to? If I were lucky enough to have a baby I'd want it to know how wanted it was. What are your thoughts though?

I mean I might not go into full detail of dildo cams and follicles, etc, to a blushing teenage boy ...

Absolutely itsme - if we're lucky enough to become parents then I would love to be able to show our child their first portrait, from 5 days post conception!

If we end up at donor eggs then I believe very much in disclosing, although much like adoption I think it's about rolling it out at the right time

But simple IVF then definitely. Makes the 'where do babies come from' question a bit more complicated, but that's the wonders of science. I think it's amazing to be able to say to a child that a whole team of clever doctors and lab scientists helped mummy and daddy to have you, because everyone wanted you to be born, so that we could all be a family

I met a friend's new baby last week - he and his husband became daddies via donor eggs and surrogacy in the US. As I was cooing over his beautiful little 4 week old boy, I said 'everyone wanted you to be born so much that you had two mummies as well as two daddies - an egg mummy and a tummy mummy. That's how important you are!'

Theirs is an interesting one because two blasts were put back - one embryo fertilised by each father's sperm. One stuck, and I don't think anyone knows yet who is the genetic daddy - although I guess at some point it may become evident depending on if he ends up resembling one. I imagine they might want to find out if / when they go for a sibling, as they might want to deliberately put back an embryo from the other daddy - although that's a long way off. That's a whole different level of 'where do babies come from' conversation!

Thanks both maybe I'm just panicking. I'm just worried about time slipping away before we can get this thing sorted. If we are lucky enough to have a baby I would definitely talk about the IVF when they were older.

Evening everyone! I've had a catch up, but as usual I'm on my phone so it's hard to scroll back to see what I wanted to say when it's time to respond! I shall do my best!

First of all, congrats Brenna! That's fab news. I'm sorry to hear you're a bit stressed with the cramping and spotting, but please try not to worry too much. Hopefully it's just your little bean snuggling in tight and implanting.

Sammy I'm sorry you've been feeling down. I'm sure, as you said, your DP doesn't feel like that. I hope you are OK and you get the time off.

Stealth I'm sure they would be fine with early tests. They are probably used to it. I'm sure you've probably said already, but I can't remember and I'm curious... did you have one or two popped back in?

Maple really glad the ultrasound went OK!

Lucie the 'official' stats online can be quite worrying I think, but like the others have said, you can be lucky/unlucky at any age. You'll be a fab mum, no matter how old you are

itsme I would tell them when they are older. I love what banana said about explaining how a whole team helped mum and dad bring them to the world :)

Banana That's really interesting about your friends, and a lovely thing you said to their baby :)

Hope everyone else is doing OK! :)

We are a little divided, but then my
Mum knows, so does his family, so we probably would tell them because it's easier than If one of the family tells them!

Also, the clinic I'm at have offered a free cycle if I donate eggs (if I need to have a second round) and as the stupid nhs postcode lottery means I'm stuffed if this one doesn't work, it's a serious consideration. But the anonymity thing does matter, not for me particularly, but for any future children I would then have to explain there could be others who might want to get in contact with their siblings. Hmm - have any of you considered it?

Lucie i worry about being an older Mum too, but I am glad I have chosen this over having my kids with the wrong person a lot younger. You will be fine and the kids will love you all the same.

The cramps have subsided a lot overnight but I have DH's lurgy and my temperature has rocketed sky high. I've taken some paracetamol to bring it down but hopefully that hasn't hurt the bean (assuming it is still in there and ok).

I love what you said about the team of people Banana. I think if it was me I would tell my kids in the future. But that is easier to say given I won't be in that situation. I intend to tell mine about their missing sibling(s). My Dad was a big one for secrets when I was growing up and it didn't do some people in my family any good when they did find out about them.

Morning all!

I would definitely tell future children (and if it's a girl then she needs to know as chances of me passing on my PCOS are high, I wish my mother had told me she had issues with her periods!).

MPP I had just the one put back. With a PGS tested blast it seemed like madness to do more.

Oops hit post too soon

brenna glad the cramps have abated. Hoping bean has hung in there! I believe paracetamol is absolutely fine.

Oh I've missed a little bit.

Brenna glad to hear cramping has subsided - like others say sounds like implantation and bean is snuggling in. Sorry to hear the lurgy got you / lots of bugs going round at the moment, hope you feel better soon - presume you aren't going to work today and looking after yourself!

Lucie everyone is right, being an older mum doesn't change what a great mum you can be! I have plenty of friends with older, fabulous mums.

Itsme I would definitely tell any IVF babies how they were made too! I don't think it's anything to hide - I already think people don't talk about infertility enough. I would tell anyone who asked me (not when I'm going through it, that's very private but after!).

Banana what a lovely thing to say to your friends baby! I have friends where one would carry the baby but I don't know what they have decided about who's egg to use. I guess they would try and have one of each?

No news since yesterday from me, going to pop into the clinic to get blood taken for my AMH today at lunch but that's it! Feeling impatient about getting all the test results back - can't wait to see the consultant next week!

Hi everyone, it's certainly been busy on here over the weekend.

Congratulations Brenna, fantastic news and so special re the timing.

Banana, hope you are feeling better after the baby bomb, I also think it was very insensitive and thoughtless of your friend to break the news to you that way.

Glad your scan went well Maple.

Sammy, a break in the sun sounds lovely.

Lucie, I have my first scan this afternoon and if all looks good I stop taking the pill and start injecting later on this week. I'm also due to pick up a prescription for my intralipids - I had asked about clexane and gestone so no idea if they'll be included or not.
I know, definitely time to graduate!! I realised it's nearly 2 years since I joined MN for the conception pages, I tend to stick to this thread now but when I log on to the desk top site I see names I can recognise from when I first joined the buses back to conceive their second. I turn 35 this week, I really thought last year would be my last birthday without a baby/pregnant. My Mum was only 21 when she had me and I also wanted to be a young Mum but I think in this day and age it is much more common to have children later. My friend who just announced her pregnancy just turned 37 and was only trying for a few months.

Exciting that you are due to start soon too Itsme! Provided we are successful I definitely plan to tell my child.

I'm doing a lot of visualising and it'll happen

Hi all - just to say I got my first beta back and it is looking nice and strong - hcg at 427 and progesterone at 83.5 (I don't actually know what that means other than it is ok!). Going back on Wednesday to check that the hcg is going up appropriately but another step in the road taken

brenna hope you're hanging in there x