We are the Viroid Warriors! We are practising our PMAs and stockpiling the rare FRERs, come join us for the continued BFP boom...it's only bloody JS 60!!!

[stumblymonkey]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2579958-We-have-enjoyed-jizzidents-and-jizznamis-We-are-fans-of-having-a-rummage-and-we-are-getting-all-the-baby-juice-we-can-to-keep-the-bfp-boom-going-Join-us-in-JS-59" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2582188-Weve-got-newbies-to-cheer-us-on-the-February-Warm-Up-is-complete-after-waiting-nine-long-months-its-only-bloody-time-for-March-Madness-Welcome-to-JS-thread-no-46" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

cats, chat, corgi, kwick Been thinking of you all - glad to read that you're all staying strong.

mimi and just Sorry AF has turned up - hope you're treating yourselves to and/or

Nothing to report here, I'm on CD8 so I'll be donning the cape soonish. Meanwhile I'm focusing on job applications and interviews and trying not to worry about the possibility of having to tell a new employer that I'm pregnant.

Angel & Scottish Yay for jizz acquisition against the odds

Mimi and Just sorry the witch got you

I am all of a sudden feeling really sick with a dickie tummy and wooziness. I have decided to just lie down and see if it passes. I'm glad I'm off now. If it gets worse I will ring the ward where I had my procedure I think.

Corgi yes, I am getting referred to RMC now, they have already said they will see us, they just need my Doctor's referral. I really hope we get some answers, but I'm not pinning all my hopes on it. I'm thinking a lot of you, Chat and Kwick big hugs to you all.

Thanks team, I have been enjoying the cape donning immensely

Name I hope the job stuff is manageable and not getting you down too much.

cats look after yourself please, if things don't feel right, make sure you get checked over sharpish.

I had my first acupuncture session last night. Apparently my tongue is engorged and my kidney pulses weak. Trying to be open-minded about it all so Gx it helps! It certainly couldn't hurt...

Scottish don't poo poo it just yet, my kidneys are the source of all my problems accupunctuarily speaking! I swear acupuncture is the reason I now have a healthy bean growing inside me! I had acupuncture today and I've been really tired lately, kidneys are weak again!

Maybe I should give acupuncture a go again just not sure I want to return to previous "stabber"... Any of you viroids live in North London and can recommend a good acupuncturist?

Oh and in Chinese medicine kidneys are linked to uterus very strongly

Right person does make all the difference kwick. I asked fertility clinic for recommendations and they gave me names of 2 mws who do it. First one was too wacko, sticking seeds in my ear. The other I've been with for over a year and she is wonderful

Yay Scottish, enjoyable cape donning is the best kind.

I had to speak to my lovely GP about the RMC referral so told her I wasn't right and am resting up on her advice. So long as I don't start vomiting loads or get a fever I should be OK.

All this acupuncture talk is very interesting, I am shit with needles (although now I have had a local to my cervix I feel slightly more hardcore) but I do think I might look into it.

OMG cats did they actually inject your cervix? Shit that IS hardcore!

Yep, I am tough.

Although, not as bad as egg harvesting from what I have heard so Kwick you are probably more hardcore than me.

Either my hormones are catching up or the feeling ill has got to me, I'm decidedly wobblier today. We have a family party at the weekend we can't get out of but it's not people we are close to do they don't know and will probably be asking when we are having another. I am dreading it. DH has told lovely BIL and SIL who we are close to so they will have our backs at least. I am enjoying only seeing people who know or complete strangers, the in between people are the tricky ones.....

Oh cats I know what you mean. I. The past two weeks I have cried in front of all these people: everyone at EPU, GP, consultant, dentist, hairdresser, nurses and Drs at UCH, strangers in church....I could go on...

Egg collection was fine - I was out for the count

Dreading going back to work tomorrow....

I cried on my nights - luckily I work in a lovely unit and I got a cup of tea and a hug. Quite a lot of them know about DS, but not all of them do for sure. Church is a wonderful place to cry, I've only ever had lovely people look after me when crying in church.

I think it's normal to have wobblier days, Cats. My first two night shifts were okay, then last night I was struggling with something I usually manage fine, and suddenly I couldn't see for tears. I've learnt a lot about grief this year (knowledge is my comfort), the best analogy by far was that it's like being in the deep water facing the beach. The way you (I) see it, everyone else is paddling happily, soaking up the rays. But you're treading on your tiptoes trying to keep afloat. Sometimes you're fine, even enjoying little bits. Other times an unexpected wave hits you from behind and suddenly you're floundering. It makes sense to me, anyways. And I like being in the waves IRL :)

NFMW/V: still thinks it's fucking pregnant, still fucking bleeding. Bit full of the rage, probably related to relative sleep deficit. It's not unreasonable to open wine just for me, right? We'll probably finish the tomorrow or Thursday.

Thanks Angel, Name, and Cats, AF seems to be particularly heavy this cycle, makes me wonder if I had one of those non-ovulating cycles following the last MC.

Kwick I haven't done the post-MC POAS thing before this last MC because I was too broken up to let DH anywhere near me , but I was keen to get cracking again and wanted to be sure if we did get a BFP it was due to a new pregnancy and not bits of the old hanging about. I haven't done IVF but I presume they'll want you to have had a cycle or two before starting things up again?

Chat so sorry to hear your ver-jay-jay still thinks it upduffed , and I think it's perfectly reasonable to open up that wine, chin chin!

In a bid to be less mopey and healthier, I have accepted a mate's challenge to do a sprint triathlon in 3 months. I'm not in the least bit sporty but I do like a challenge to help me do regular exercise and have even started looking forward to it. Did my first shockingly slow parkrun on Saturday, and now my foot has blown up like a balloon . What an idiot I am.

cats the acupuncture needles are so tiny, you barely notice them. As for injection in cervix, you just made me whince!

chat that is a very good analogy, I'm going to remember that one. Sorry you w/v is still messing you about. Definitely fine to open wine just for yourself.

kwick I'm with you, egg collection was a doddle with the whole being out of it thing coming around and the following days not so much though!

Oh Chat, your stupid womble, I hope you are well into that bottle of wine by now.

Thanks Scottish

Chat Have all the you want!

chat love your description... Am feeling nervous: today is my first day back to work. Luckily the office is normally fairly quiet... It will be more intense when I start travelling again.

I will start IVF on second AF but God knows when that will be. I have a mole on my face which has black (& white) hairs that grow out of it, which had gone a bit quiet and that has livened up again, which always happens near to AF....

How was your day Kwick?

It was okay cats I only blubbed once and that was over the phone and well contained. Fricking 600 emails though! Did not even get through half... Thanks for asking.

How you doing?

Oh well done Kwick although sobbing lots would be perfectly acceptable, I am pleased you felt it was OK. 600 Emails?! I did have over 1000 after two weeks off once, thankfully I was able to streamline what I received when I last changed roles, phew! I do not envy you with that.

I just feel a bit blank. I'm not sobbing and sad but I'm not getting emotional at all about anything that should make me happy/sad/angry etc. I seem to have become a robot, the upside of this is that I am functioning very well.

cats sorry about the robotic feeling... This is grief and it hits us in loads of different ways. Just remember you are lovely and should be hugged at regular intervals :)

1000 emails??? For the love of God!!! I think this time I will try and get my inbox down to as low as I can - I have this hoarding problem... Even emails!!!!!

Well done kwick and cats, your positive attitudes are inspiring!

I'm feeling less positive and, after this evening, totally recant what I said about immensely enjoying donning the cape.

To explain: DH has a hot sauce addiction and, as we had temporarily run out of hand soap in our bathroom and DH couldn't be arsed getting more from the cupboard he seems to have failed to wash off all the hot sauce from his fingers before coming to bed and getting down to business.

My poor fanjo

Hi Viroids! I'm an old JSer from about 3 years ago and my JS baby is 3 next month! We are back on the JSing bandwagon a bit later than hoped. I had a mmc in Feb and had been expecting #2 this Sept but it wasn't meant to be . Wanted to be ttc sooner but needed a measles jab in April which put me out of the game till now. So it all starts again in he next few days! Excited and nervous...

Good luck to everyone

Welcome back pineapple I am very sorry about your MC

scottish that sounds VERY painful!!!! Poor you, poor fanjo!

Thanks kwick and welcome back pineapple!

In other news, I'm delighted to have my first positive opk. I'm aware I shouldn't be admitting to the use of contraband however I think it's acceptable as my delight is in the satisfaction of seeing two strong lines rather than in what it signifies.
Almost like appreciating art. Urine-soaked art.