We are the Viroid Warriors! We are practising our PMAs and stockpiling the rare FRERs, come join us for the continued BFP boom...it's only bloody JS 60!!!

[stumblymonkey]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2579958-We-have-enjoyed-jizzidents-and-jizznamis-We-are-fans-of-having-a-rummage-and-we-are-getting-all-the-baby-juice-we-can-to-keep-the-bfp-boom-going-Join-us-in-JS-59" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2582188-Weve-got-newbies-to-cheer-us-on-the-February-Warm-Up-is-complete-after-waiting-nine-long-months-its-only-bloody-time-for-March-Madness-Welcome-to-JS-thread-no-46" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Oh Angel your poor DP! I hope he gets enough R&R while you are away to be back in action when you return. Gx that'll do the job

Nowt going on here while sorting out jobs...will come back soon and catch up I promise!

Happy Friday viroids!

Nothing to report here, no af, still bfn

It's very quiet round here, the JSers must be using the bank holiday to get their capes on .

I've been lurking for awhile, nowt to report, no AF, no BFN, hint of a hangover.

howdy viroids! have finally had a negative pregnancy test after mc (well there was the faintest of lines but it was fainter than the last one) - and have downloaded Ovia again - let's do this! No idea what is happening re icing and am not going to check this cycle, think head needs some downtime and unfettered drinking
Hope you are all having a lovely BH weekend and not stuck at work like me!

Corgi good to hear hcg levels are dropping. I remember getting a weird sad feeling over getting positive hpts after my miscarriage, and the relief when I finally got my first negative test. Here's to head space and unfettered drinking .

AF has finally turned up after 5 days of spotting, so it's CD1 here. Am wallowing in mild hangover and a modicum of self pity .

Hi, Corgi. Good to see your HCG is dropping. Mine appears not to be, so EPAU will be getting a call if it's still a BFP on Tuesday. Alas, I am also at work this fair BHWE - NICU nights, so no rest for me! I've cracked and bought some OPKs. No chance of relaxing here, I'm sick of this shit. Good news, though, recurrent MC appt is before DS's birthday.

corgi and mimi what is this you say about testing? Should I be doing POAS to see when hcg has left me? How soon can I expect a MC?

Should be within 2-3w, Kwick. My symptoms have all gone, but my errant womble is clinging on still, it'll be three weeks tomorrow.

Oh chat this is so hard.... I am trying the ostrich approach but every now and again I have a wave of grief hit me. I really hope I only have to wait 2-3 weeks for AF.

Corgi that is great news, it always surprises me how long it takes so brill to hear you are nearly there. And even more brill to hear that you are allowing yourself some fun.

Chat I'm sorry to hear your body is yet to catch up. It is just too hard. I don't blame you for being sick of it. Great news on the RMC appointment coming through, I really hope you get some answers.

Kwick it is hard, so hard. You will get through it but keep being g nice to yourself.

My body is yet to catch up too, I am having a normal period type bleed now so physically that's a good thing. I don't expect a bfn any time soon, probably not until around when the first proper AF arrives, that's what has happened in the past. I reckon that'll be in about 5-6 weeks. I think nothing has really hit me yet, I'm coping far too well, its going to hit like a brick at some point.

cats, chat, corgi and kwick sending you all lots of hugs and love. You're all being so strong

I don't know what my body is doing. Cycle normally 26 days and I'm now on day 31. Bfn on ic so not pregnant. Wtf is happening? Ewcm around the time I normally ice so really don't understand!

cats, corgi, chat I just hate that you are all going through this. Lots of hugs for you all, and praying you get sticky beans soon.
chat I'm so pleased for you that RMC appt is before ds's bday. Hopefully you will get some answers from there and a plan for moving forward. It's not fair how much you've been through in the last couple of years.

just could be late icing despite the ewcm. It's not unusual to get multiple patches of ewcm in a cycle. I know it's impossible but best thing you can do is put it out of your mind and wait another week to see if AF arrives. Don't forget it's also not unusual to have 2 anovulatory cycles a year.

If it's annovulatory will I miss af entirely?

Possibly, possibly not. Your body might just try again and ovulate with no AF or you could get an AF that's maybe lighter than usual and go into a new cycle. If it is anovulatory then stressing about where's AF/why bfn will just delay ovulation if your body is gearing up to try again, so try and just forget it. I realise this is rediculous advice as I know from experience I'd never be able to follow it myself!! But I also have the benefit of that experience to know it's right. Bloody hindsight! Lol

Glad you recognise that advice is laughable

corgi, kwick and chat you viroids seem to be managing so well with everything just now. It's lovely to see how people take strength and provide support in a community like this. I am a bit merry and mushy and have indulged in a few too many glasses of prosecco while I can, so sorry about the mushiness

I have been spending the BHWE with DH, DSIL and her kids. This has coincided with my fertile window so resorted to donning the cape in the bathroom at DSIL's house with the noisy fan on while pretending to be showering and packing...

And just I hope your body makes it clear what's happening sharpish- I feel frustrated for you!!

scottish that is very naughty but you deserve a for your DTD efforts!

scottish good work!

Sorry for you viroids having a crap time. I think you are all coping incredibly well.

Good job scottish!

Cd1 now.

Kwick as a wtf veteran, I generally have to wait 5-6 weeks for AF to rock up. Reckon it'll be longer this time hence purchase of contraband.

Good work Scottish! I fear the alcohol has addled your brain, though - I am most definitely not managing well!

Just at least you didn't POAExpensiveS this time around.

chat thanks. Sorry you are a veteran in this :( I am full of admiration for your strength and tenacity. You are my hero.

Chat I am amazed that you have lasted this long without contraband, I cracked a while ago! Re your BFP - mine took ages to go negative but realised I should be counting from when I passed the products, which is 3 weeks today actually. Hope your nights are OK.
kwick I'm not sure if checking HCG is as important if you have had surgical management as they will have got everything, hopefully. With medical/natural management there's more of a risk of retained products. You can check 3 weeks post-procedure though I'm sure your clinic will be keeping a close eye on you.
cats are you going to RMC clinic too? hope you both get some answers.
Hope you all are doing as well as can be expected. I too have been an ostrich most of the time but did cry at work, though only once... have been surprisingly OK otherwise as long as I don't think about when due dates would have been or when my maternity leave would have started....just so fed up of work and ready for a break! grrrr.
just and unmumsnetty hugs. Feeling a G&T tonight...yum.
scottish naughty!!! but you should definitely get a medal for that level of dedication :)
NFMV: loads of EWCM so jumped DH at 2am after my shift finished also odd right sided ice pain. Only ever seem to get this after a break from icing (e.g. pregnancy, Pill).
HURRRRRRGH we can do this!!

Kwick Corgi Chat & Cats you vidroids are amazing!!

Scottish well done on the stealth shagging

Mimi & Just sorry the witch got you

Feeling a bit delicate today, too much wine all weekend. Got some jizz though, so all is good