We are the Viroid Warriors! We are practising our PMAs and stockpiling the rare FRERs, come join us for the continued BFP boom...it's only bloody JS 60!!!

[stumblymonkey]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2579958-We-have-enjoyed-jizzidents-and-jizznamis-We-are-fans-of-having-a-rummage-and-we-are-getting-all-the-baby-juice-we-can-to-keep-the-bfp-boom-going-Join-us-in-JS-59" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2582188-Weve-got-newbies-to-cheer-us-on-the-February-Warm-Up-is-complete-after-waiting-nine-long-months-its-only-bloody-time-for-March-Madness-Welcome-to-JS-thread-no-46" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Thanks canters I'm feeling positive! How are you doing? How far long are you now? Hope you're surviving the picket line!

Thanks Viriods. It is done, it was very unpleasant but quick and I just have a little bit of aching womble now. Plus DH, the Dr, the nurse and the radiographer were fantasic. Poor DH found it a bit traumatic too but was amazing with me. I think the emotional recovery is going to be much harder than the physical one but I have lots of lovely family and friends, and dpony to look after me and cheer me up.

cats take it easy. I too fear this is a long road to travel.
I am so pleased I am off work - headspace is helping me - am also doing stuff that will help future like switch energy providers, declutter (a little) and remortgage. Think I will spend the John Lewis & Boots vouchers I have been saving... As knowing my luck they will expire or God forbid have already

I'm doing OK thanks scottish almost 11 weeks now and starting to get a bump I look like I've eaten all the pies

Picket line has been ok, bit cold and wet here!

Was your appointment OK kwick? Glad you're feeling positive.

cats glad procedure wasn't too awful. How are you feeling now?

cats Well done for today, glad everyone has been supportive.

Kwick Glad you have some time off - sounds like you're making the most of it! Spending the vouchers is a good idea, treat yourself

I know it's been a bit shit on the thread recently, cat and quick hope you are both as well as can be. I wanted to share some good news, I had a scan today and all is ok at 7+4, there was a heartbeat and DH said it looks like a frog I think that will stick-poor thing.

Still a long way to go so staying very cautious but feeling relieved.

Woohoo to a healthy frog blackcat and to a belly full o' pies canters!!

Well done for being so positive kwick, how did you get on?
Hope you're ok cats!

Huge hugs to cats and kwick

Sorry to hear you think you've had a chemical scottish, hopefully your body is having a practice run and you will be upduffed soon.

black fantastic news. Mc risk drops hugely now

Well if I iced when I think I did I'm now 17dpo, bfn obviously (possible squinter but haven't I always!) so pretty sure that either I iced later, didn't ice or my body is just developing new ways of fucking with me. Hurrah!

Thanks just and good luck to you- I'm full of awe at you keeping your squinter to yourself as I am incapable of doing that! I hope it's just a late icing - Gx!

I love looking at other people's squinter a so feel free to share...

I've shared so many "squinters" on here now scottish that I'm now too embarrassed to! Think I'm imagining it anyway.

I know what you mean just - I'm starting to get a bit embarrassed about sharing my "squinters" but I've decided to just go with it- you are all lovely and very non-judgemental and it means that I can hide my peak levels of crazy from my friends and family IRL.

Thanks Viroids!

myblackcat yay for the scan!

just please share piccie.

canters I am very proud of you striking!

So I managed to figure out expiry dates for all gift vouchers except one - which did not have the receipt so I bought 2 new towel sets and a pair of silver earrings (I have loads of earrings but most give me allergies so have gone for silver pair) and I still have £2.50 left to spend on that card!

I have a dental appointment today, a hair appointment and I have a Task Rabbit coming round to do some touch up painting in kitchen and bathroom (I got a £20 off voucher - so if he does it in less than an hour it will cost me £9!!!!!).

Is it wrong to say that I do not want to go back to work?😬

Oh yes and saw consultant - will go with natural IVF next (so less drugs) - have to wait for second AF to start. Lord knows when I will get the first one....
She also prescribed me DHEA - for egg quality.
I am happy to have a plan.

Glad u have a plan kwick, and second time around ivf is so much less stressful. They didn't change anything for me second time as they said from their pov it had worked, so it was nice I knew exactly what I was doing/what to expect. I was far less strict with myself too and I'm sure being more relaxed was a help to getting this wiggler in there.

just for you. I hope ur body isn't fucking with you but I understand why ur fed up.of sharing squinters that come to nothing.

myblackcat Yay! Lovely to hear some good news Hope your little frog continues to grow nicely!

Scottish Hope your chemical is a warm up for the real thing very soon!

Kwick Glad you have a plan, sounds like a good one Have you ever tried acupuncture? I have read some things that suggest it can help with IVF... Not sure exactly how but you never know!

Kwick so pleased to hear you have a plan, it does sound positive and good to have something to work towards. Life admin, house stuff and hair are all on my list too while I am off. Enough to keep my occupied but nothing that is critical if I want to just sit quietly.

Just it is every month, I can understand why you don't feel like sharing any more. Did you have any luck with the clinic, and did you tell them about all the squinters? Apologies if I've missed things.

Canters Yay for striking, I drove purposefully the wrong way on Tuesday so I could beep and show support. I can't believe what the *unt is doing. Grrrrr.

I'm feeling pretty good, the procedure has left me physically brilliant and better than I felt whilst still pregnant. Mentally and emotionally I feel a little wobbly but not bad either, I feel a bit if a fraud being off. But my hormones haven't caught up yet, in a few days time things are going to get tough i think. I do think though having known for over a week before the procedure I was able to make a bit of peace with it all. Please remind me of that when I'm in bits at the weekend!

cats I feel a bit of a fraud too but I know I need this time... And I normally work real hard, I just need the break, the breathing space.
You are worrying me though... When does the hormone crash come? I am nearly a week post procedure, and more than a week since they saw no heartbeat.... Do I still have that to look forward to?

lildottie o bearer of hope: we have opted for natural ivf as the meds did not seem to do much (I only got 2 eggs, and only 1 that fertilised)

Dearest viroids: question for you - do you think I should go with the same donor for magic potion or try another one I have one vial left so will need to buy another vial anyhoo as they need 2 for IVF...

kwick ID second acupuncture. I swear it works! I've been doing it since about a month before 1st ivf. Makes sense re going natural. Some people are "too pure" for the meds my acupuncturist said when I was worried about the fact my egg quality seemed a bit off despite having perfect hormone levels so you never know. Re donor if you have to buy one vial and already have one, can you mix and match? Or would you need to buy two of new donor? I think I'd be thinking about splitting to not put all eggs in one basket so to speak if that was an option but that said my Dhs dodgey spunk came good in the end. Granted only for 1 out of 12 fertilised eggs across the 2 ivfs! (Hence my panicking over egg quality!)

Glad you have a plan kwick . Can you use both or only one of the jizz?

Nothing to see really viroids. Definite bfn this morning but still no af.

Haven't mentioned squinters to fc as only had them on cheapies. Never on a frer so I'm going to assume they are evaps or similar. Will mention when I'm actually on ivf list

Hugs to you cats, you need the time off definitely. Be kind to yourself

Sorry Scottish gx it was a practise run.

Kwick yay for the plan!

Cats good to hear you're doing not too bad atm, gx all the hormonal shit goes gentle on you.

Black & Canters good to hear you're both doing well.

Afm, started taking vit B complex about a week ago, now have tons of CM & what feels suspiciously like my icing symptoms. The good news is I'm CD8, usually I seem to ice around CD15-17 of a 27 day cycle, so earlier icing is very welcome news. The bad news is that hubby has really hurt his neck & is an awful lot of pain, so shagging is off the menu SIGH

angel what has his neck got to do with it? Tell him to lie back and think of England and you can climb on and dtd.... Sorry if that is a bit coarse but I do not want you to miss ISW!!! 😳

Have not enquired if I can mix jizz... But I do not see why not... I mean they won't mix the potion in vitro - if I have enough eggs to have more than one petri dish then they will still not mix vials?? Hmm need to get more info methinks... But please keep opinions coming. 😉
I had the same donor for the 5 failed IUIs and then switched to a new American donor and had bfp with IVF.... Do not even know if that donor is still available (French, Italian, Puerto Rican extraction)...

Oh Kwick I didn't mean to frighten you! I think you have already been through it judging by what you have said, I am expecting it in a few days time. My body isn't very good at letting go so my hormones haven't got the memo yet.

Angel what Kwick said! Unless of course every teeny movement is dangerous or stupidly painful for him. But otherwise he has no excuse, and what man doesn't enjoy being lazy!

Just That makes sense, I hope you get a bit further along quickly.

Cats & Kwick he has been in agony, barely able to move at all bless him. Slight improvement today, but I'm heading to meet my sisters straight after work for a girlie weekend. I'll jump him as soon as I see him on Sunday & gx it's not too late by then lol

Enjoy the bank holiday weekend vidroids