Thread : Lucky Number 13 take 2. TTC#1 The one where AF can kiss our arse!

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

WE SHALL WIN IN THE GAME OF SPERM MEETS EGG! IT WILL HAPPEN!

Glad to hear it's all going well with mini peach :)

Ooh that sounds exciting skip where are you off?

kwick it always amazes me the variety of birth parents on OBEM. Who are your options?

suchajem I suppose I could ask my mum -but I am not sure I want her there... She had me with NADA ie zilcho drugs and I am not sure I am made of the same ilk. My cousin would be another option but a) my mum would be hurt and b) my cousin has 2 little girls to look after...

Sounds like mum is best option from that - but perhaps with some education on your birth expectations / levels of pain management!

Is there a good friend who has been through it maybe who could be a good alternative?

Or how about cousin plus mum? I guess you've got a while to mull it over.

Say the word Kwick and we'll all be there! God, could you imagine the chaos of this thread plus graduates in the delivery room with you? Half taking notes and the other half giving advice! Raging hormones all round lol.

My DH will be there (unless he faints or something) but I know my mum will be chomping at the bit outside the door. She'd be there in a second if I let her but no idea how helpful she would be!

I really don't know how my DP would come going through labour. He made me switch over during Rachels "labour" on friends the least realistic labour ever!! I think he is more scared that I am about it!

Right ladies I had a good 18 hours of wallowing and my PMA hat is back on! Despite technically going in to cycle 5 last month was my first cycle of us both being in the same country for FW and therefore being able to try at the right time. So I'm being a bit more realistic about how long it's taking us because it really hasn't been that long!

Positives are I can have a drink at upcoming weddings and I won't be having a Christmas baby. Ordering by CB digital ovulation thing today cos I just really want to know that I do ovulate. Also I am now on an average of 26 day cycle so I want to check when I am ovulating cos I have a feeling it may be earlier than i think.

And with that essay I think it's time to hit the shops and get some wine and chocolate in for tonight. My fingers are still crossed for anyone getting ready to test

Morning lovely ladies. No news here...AF just peeing off! Who's due to test next?

Kwick you could hire a doula! I think my OH will be traumatised by it...but hey I'm sure I will be too! He's gonna be there whether he likes it or not!

My mum would be the last person I'd want in there! I love her but she sounds like your mum Kwik she even moans at obem when a women screams.

Are you closer to a decision jem?

Hope everyone has a good weekend!!

Chances are Dh will "personal trainer" me 'c'mon babe, you can do it, you can do it, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Rest before next set, I mean, contraction!" I am fully anticipate not wanting to be touched at all, just so I can bear down and concentrate, but you never know do you?! You can never predict the kind of birth you'll get!

I'd ideally like a home birth, everything allowing. Gas and air and probably rent a crowd of dh, dm and auntie. If my grandma was still alive she'd probably have been there too! My dsis could go either way, df will mind the dogs!

It's always interesting to hear about our mum's births with us to see how they sound!

Hope everyone is well! Happy Saturday all round!

Maybe I will explore the doula thing... but it might be nice to have someone in there that I know and love... I keep on joking with my nephew that it will be him!!!

suchajem sorry I did not get involved in job offer debacle earlier... I appreciate it is a very hard decision to take. I know that the maternity pay and sabbatical leave things play a part but ultimately where will you feel more fulfilled? Which job excites you the most? I work in HR and I often see people that "quit and stay" - they are unhappy but stay on.
I am hanging in with my current employer but I know that I may not be able to return once baby is born as they may not be able to give me the flexibility I will need in the future.
At the end of the day I would advise you to follow your heart as this will drive your passion and ultimate job fulfillment.

Hello ni, bye bye AF how are things looking for fw ahead? I'm actually starting to weirdly enjoy that bit of my cycle. It feels more optimistic than the TWW somehow!

twinky glad you're feeling more positive :)

kwick that does worry me a bit about staying but if I get knocked up I wouldn't care. I would be looking forward to mat leave + sabbatical + baby and would not feel too much regret at turning away other option

vix I'm not really any closer! But I've made a list! It all comes down to conceiving basically. It I wasn't ttc I would take this job. But I am and could get knocked up anytime really - and then if I move then I'm looking at smp which isn't great.

This is all a lot of pressure on my uterus :( and whilst we have DTD like troopers this week, I can't help feeling like this stress will prevent it.

I've been brave and text the HR woman at the new company asking about their benefits, maternity policy and pension (snuck it in there). Their maternity package is quite shit;

With regards to our maternity policy, for the first 12 months it is statutory. 13 months - 2 years is 8 weeks full pay followed by statutory. 2years plus there is an increase in the number of weeks full pay, which increases to a maximum of 13 weeks after 5 years' employment

Where I work now is a LOT better - because I've worked there for 4 years, I qualify for 6 months at 90% pay, and then 3 months at statutory.

Plus next year there's the 6 week paid sabbatical.

This seems to make it seem more of a no brainer. What do you think?? Sorry to keep banging on about this nightmare!

That is a pretty crappy maternity package imo! Depends if you could cope with smp for 9 months or your DH would want to take shared leave? I'm sorry it's not more straight forward ttc really does change everything!

Lol starky at personal training you! My OH is less nervous than me but he has no idea what it entails and doesn't even know what a placenta is. It's brilliant watching OBEM with him

Jem I totally agree -once you accept that AF has arrived it's a new slate, a week of no pressure, and all the hope of a new cycle! This month doesn't look great for our chances though as we're heading to my parents for a few days during FW and OH will head home before me probably on the two most likely ov days! We'll try to get a sneaky dtd in before he goes! I was peeved that he will be away June FW but have decided if I'm still not upduffed in June I'm gonna turn it into my uber focused get fit month instead, so at least I'm getting something out of the month!
That maternity package is ridiculous Jem. I can't believe they offer nothing for the first year! I'm sticking with the NHS! That would make it a no brainer for me alright xx

jem it's a shite package, true, but ultimately you have to let your heart guide you - I'm trying to live life as if I'm not TTC at all because you really don't know if or when it will happen!

I'm off to California then Bora Bora for 3 weeks. So excited I'm not even thinking about ttc (obvs not cause I'm on here lol!) but not looking at Ovia, don't know when AF due or what CD I am either. I'm back to my old clueless self!!

jem stick with what you know I think! My company offers nothing, so I get the bare bones which will be difficult for us, so take the best you can!

My situation is a bit weird. Im 6 days late, did an ic and got a positive, did a frer and a clear blue and got bfn on both. Starting to think that what I'm feeling is all in my head and this whole thing is sending me loopy. Did a cute little test in a gift box to surprise oh too :(

suchajem just a thought: did you tell current employer of offer? If so if you stay are they going to treat you different than now?

vix that does sound strange. When did you do the three different tests?

vix how strange! Have you got a decent test for tomorrow?

kwick I have told them but she said she understood and said she'd be pissed if I left and pleased if I stayed. I think she's genuinely get over it.

Two days ago I did the IC, then in the evening got a bfn on the clear blue. Fast forward to today (run out so had to buy one and harvested fmu) then got a first response thingy and got bfn. I wasn't even stressing it because I was so positive about it all but now I'm questioning it. Spent all day in bliss talking about our "baby" only for getting a bfn this afternoon.

I feel gutted :( sometimes knowing more is so much harder than being fully aware of everything!!

Have you got a pic of the ic vix ? Don't be too disheartened, remember choc ? She had bfp followed by multiple bfn's and was pregnant.

Its faint, but it was enough to get me excited. I'm also experiencing a good amount of cramps, and I never get cramps really. Teamed with sore boobs - but nothing major. Nausea is a af sign for me so im discounting that! I was crying in the restaurant today, and almost went at the prospect of duckings in the village pond. This is why I feel I need to go in a mental home, think ive lost my grip on reality!!

I don't remember chocs story, I remember her being here though!!

That's a definite bfp vix have you got a more tests ready and waiting? Cramps are common, clear blue eats I don't particularly trust blue dye and not good for sensitivity and frers can be faulty. How confusing and stressful for you

Vix, the ICs are a bit rubbish- they take a while to show up. When I got my BFP, it showed up within seconds on a FRER about 3 days before AF was due. When I used ICs, it took a few more days and was nowhere as strong. I'll attach a photo of both- FRER is faded a little as its about 4/5 days old but see how faint the brand new IC is in comparison!

Get yourself a FRER and test! If there's anything on an IC, I'd say a FRER should show up nicely!

Aww vix that's a stressful and strange one.

From my end, I got nothing on the ic for a week yet a faint positive on a frer. So other way round from you. Have you got anymore ic's? Try again in the morning. Technically they say you cant get a false positive but you can get a false negative (as in you can be pregnant but not enough hormone to show a line yet) try and not stress too much (probably impossible) but if nothing tomorrow a call to your docs on Monday and perhaps a blood test for clarification. X