Thread : Lucky Number 13 take 2. TTC#1 The one where AF can kiss our arse!

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

WE SHALL WIN IN THE GAME OF SPERM MEETS EGG! IT WILL HAPPEN!

Congrats Ski!

Jem I'd be inclined to take the job too...but dependant on whether you could survive if you didn't qualify for their maternity package....

Congrats Ski!

This is probably going to make me sound horrid.
My cousin who was also my dad's neice and god daughter found out she was pregnant 2 days before my Dad's funeral in January. She's now had her 20 week scan and found out she's having a boy. The first boy in the family since my Dad was born 56 years ago.
I feel absolutely crushed. It's bad enough that her I am struggling along and she manages to conceive whilst taking the pill and now she's having a boy and will no name him after my Dad. Am I being unreasonable to be upset over this?

Been getting brownish spotting past few days. Normally get that in the lead up to af. Hope I'm not going to have a really short cycle, I'm only cd 21. No idea if I'm post ov or not, FF said I was 5dpo on Sunday but then I got a clear positive on a cheapie opk and it then said I hadn't ovulated. Haven't taken my temperature since monday as i can't be arsed with it at the moment. Who bloody knows.

Sorry I mean no doubt she will name the baby after my Dad. Stupid fat fingers and touchscreen phones.

Sorry for your loss pug You have every right to feel how you feel this TTC crap plays havoc with our emotions. Just remember she isn't doing any of this to spite you, has she actually said she will name him after him?

In terms of your spotting, I had 4 days spotting before AF last cycle at around day 21. How long are your cycles normally?

Hi pug I was wondering how you were getting on, have a big hug from me this is a really hard baby bomb being tied up in grief with your dad. Be kind to yourself, you've been through an awful loss.

Any chance spotting could be ib? I hope it's your month.

Anyone seen ipatches? Did she graduate? I've lost track

Sucha I'd go for the job! I thought I'd get pregnant nearly straight away, I put plans on hold because I thought I'd be too heavily pregnant or have a new baby to take care of. Needless to say these things didn't quite plan out how I expected. Live life to the full and take the new opportunities as they come!

Pug that sounds really tough. These are all things that really matter to you a lot so of course you'd be feeling upset and angry. Your time will come and it will be special, wonderful and unique to you in a way that no one else can ever compare to.

I think I'd go for the job sucha is there anyway to google and find out their mat leave policy?

I've googled to no avail girls. Am totally in turmoil about this, not sleeping properly and feeling so stressed and anxious it's making me feel nauseous. Sorry that sounds so dramatic! I don't know why things like this get to me so much. I think it might be because my boss has said they can't do anything to keep me so it's making me feel unwanted?

Plus I got my +OPK yesterday so all this stress cannot be helping. We DTD Monday, Wednesday and will do again today. Is that enough??? I'm starting to get to the point where I feel like we should have sex every other hour in fw

My current employer has a good maternity package plus I get an additional 6 weeks paid next year. It's an awful lot to walk away from - when I might only just get smp if I leave.

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

Jem I am wondering wether to change jobs. I was going to in September but naively thought I was going to get pregnant quickly so I didnt. Now I am wondering wether to risk it.
You get maternity leave regardless of how long you have been at your job before getting preggo, but in order to get maternity pay you need a minimum. Otherwise you get the other maternity pay (statutory) which is lower.
Trouble is that if you start a job when you are already pregnant I dont think you qualify for the better option.

I don't know what to do either.

You could stop TTC for a month until you start new job and if you get preggo then you will be covered...

But you need to look at their maternity packages. My employer is quite generous so I havent been wanting to leave but I am not preggo yet so I dont know.

That sabbatical sounds very tempting though.

Pug you are not horrible. I have to hide my face everytime I see the girl from office next door (we used to be colleagues) who got pregnant "by accident". I dont like her and she is one of those that gets everything in life. I try not to let this feelings linger for long and focus on positives of my own life, but we all have moments like that and it is OK! Spotting could be good??
Regarding names, maybe ask her and explain that it would be tough on you. Maybe she can give the name as second name. She should understand that. I would ask for permission before naming my child after a relative or friend from the closest relative so maybe just ask. She might not be planning that at all.

Jem could you ask them to show you the benefits package before you accept? Maybe not ask for maternity pay directly but just for benefits and policies?

jem don't think of it as your current boss not wanting to keep you it might be that they genuinely have budget restrictions and can't give out raises. It's so difficult but only you know what's right for you. Would you financially be able to afford it if you went to new job and got pregnant asap and only got basic mat pay?

On another note just fished out yesterday's test and there is a line. Why do we do it to ourselves?! The logical part of me says evap but the desperate for a baby part says go and get a FRER!!! The little bit of brown spotting I had yesterday has gone but technically AF could show at any point today so making myself wait till tomorrow

Morning gals, pug that's a rough situation, made worse by the raw emotions right now. Don't forget she's got 8 months or so to decide, and in that time literally anything could happen. In the meantime, try to focus on your own health and wellbeing and letting yourself feel whatever you need to feel right now. I personally would advise against speaking to her at this point in time, as your own feelings may change with time and healing.

Jem you're in a tight spot too!! We could all argue the pros and cons of leaving/staying till the cows come home, but at the end of the day you have to go with your gut feeling. If you stayed, and didn't get pregnant for another 5 years (IF!!) would you be happy there? If you left and got pregnant immediately could you manage without the extra benefits?

twinky STEP AWAY FROM THE BIN! Seriously, don't torture yourself. FRER if you must, but to have a chance at a starky star I would say wait. Although nothing seems to make AF appear faster than a FRER!

I know FX I will hold off buying a FRER until tomorrow because I know if its in the house there is no way I will be able to avoid using it.

Pretty sure the witch will rear her ugly head any second now. If she's coming can she come by lunchtime so I can buy some wine for dinner

Morning ladies ☺

pug sorry to hear what's been happening but I totally get were your coming from. I'd feel pretty peeved too. Agree with ever. She really should be looking to discuss this with you before using your dad's name. And if it's too tough or you wanted to use your dad's name yourself then tell her using his name as a middle feels easier for you. It's really such a raw time emotionally take care of yourself x

jem I second skip advise listen to your gut. Is it quite a good rise? Could you use your extra pay each month and give yourself a little savings cushion so that if you didn't qualify for as much mat pay you would still be able to take the same time off and not have to stress over money?

Some times in life it would be bloody handy to get a shot of a crystal ball! Would make life soo much easier 😂. Anyway, hope everyone is well and has a nice weekend planned x

Very sorry for your loss Pug and with ttc it's normal to be all over the place.

The AF witch has got me, only a 27 day cycle this month, I'm not getting the two full weeks post ovulation for the past while, that worries me..

Sorry guys I am way behind! (Again)

suchajem yes it was me recommending the following in 2ww:
First five days eat a fifth of a fresh pineapple each day - including core
On lead up to ovulation and during 2ww eat lots of cayenne pepper (increases blood flow to womble)
Keep feet and kidneys warm at all times
Laugh a lot

Wowzers ski !!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

note to self kwick to buy one if those digital HPTs asap

Just checking in girls! I haven't disappeared, just away for two weeks on a work training course. It's a bit full on, busy days then socialising with colleagues on a night. Off to my parents for the weekend too so it's a bit manic!

Congrats on the BFP ski

jem Tough decision about your job. Have you made any decisions? I'd maybe get in touch and ask for their Benifits policies as was suggested here - then you'd know for certain about maternity and that woukd help with the decision???

Frustrating month here as I'm away pretty much all fertile week, so just trying to forget about it and have a month off thinking about it or talking about it and be ready to crack on next month!

Just a thought, how many posts does it have to be before we need a new thread? I'm not sure about the technicalities of keeping the thread running - starky was just too good at it!!!

pug (hugs)

I actually discovered a rl friend who is pregnant, and for the first time in a while I am over the moon!!

The have been trying for many years, and had joy with ivf number 4! she is 40y this year. So happy for her!

ladies, it may not necessarily be easy but there is plenty of chance for all of us.
I think we all deserve some and / (delete as appropriate)

moose I had a couple of months of being away for FW and it's beyond frustrating!! I feel your pain!

hep lovely news about your friend!

I will be wallowing in wine tonight as the witch is in the house. Going to get a CB opk predictor this cycle just so I know that I actually do ovulate!!

Fx "nothing makes AF appear faster than a FRER" so true!!!!
Peaches where can one get one of those crystal balls??!!
I have wine and chocolate
I don't even wait for AF anymore

Thanks for all your thoughts girls, all really helpful. There aren't many people irl I can talk to about this from the ttc angle so this is a godsend.

My gut at the moment is telling me to stay. I get a 6 week paid sabbatical next year - quite rare - and to some extent have hung on here because I know it's on the horizon. They also have quite a generous maternity package. If I leave and get preggo then the basic smp might negate the pay rise. I need to do some sums on this to work it out though.

skip how are you getting on?
peaches good idea but any extra money is all going towards house deposit atm - a tick in the Leave box...how is your bean please?
Sorry about AF julia and twinky - roll on next month for you both xx
Hello moose and hep!

I believe it's 1000 posts before we need a new one xx

kat how are you doing? Hope you are okay xx

Sorry the bitch has caught up with some of you girls again. Enjoy your treats I'm sure it won't be long gone til they are on the banned list for 9 months.

ever if I find a reliable source your the first to know 😂 that and a pair of specs that gives us superman style xray vision so we can actually see what on earth is going on inside these wonderfully complicated bodies of ours!!

sucha im doing okay thanks for asking. Had my first midwife appointment earlier this week. She seemed happy so I'm happy. Been tired and queezy at times and my boobs feel like they are made up of raw nerves but it's all in a good cause so just plodding along... iv not really said much to anyone IRL so it's still a little weird if I'm honest. I reckon I'm about 8 1/2 weeks so hopefully my first scan date will be arriving soon.

Honestly have my fingers crossed for you all, here's to more bfp's in the next batch of cycles ❤

kwick how's that bean of yours coming along?

Good to see you again peaches I'll put my order in for a pair of X-ray specs!
I'm good thanks jem just booked a big once-in-a-lifetime trip so happy we decided to lay off ttc. Feeling much better now I've given myself some breathing room tbh!
Sorry to those of you caught by AF again, she's a miserable sod but a monthly reminder of how incredible the human body is I may have had a lot of sugary drinks today...

It's 40 pages (1000 posts) before we need a new thread guys, I'm still here, lurking away, ill start the next one as it's clear I'm not actually going to believe I'm preggers till I see a heartbeat on the 12 week scan!

Weirdly, tonight, it really feels like af is going to turn up!

starky first of all you are the best for saying you will start next thread !!!!
When you say af will come what do you mean? I get cramping most afternoons... Apparently this is normal. Also I read somewhere the highest risk times for MC is at the time you would have been due AF... I have been too scared to calculate that out and have adopted usual ostrich approach!

peaches good to hear you are well :). Apart from symptoms - but don't they make you feel you can believe?

I have my early scan on Monday pm... I am getting very nervous, I even dreamed about it last night...

I cried my way through an episode of One Born Every Minute yesterday.... The question is who should I have with me?