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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

965 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 07/03/2016 22:50

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
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StarkyTheDirewolf · 09/03/2016 20:00

Oh God, the pressure to be amusing and interesting on a blog! just kidding, I'm loving this, im sat here preening and lapping up praise like a kitten here Grin

I shall set forth to making a blog, kat told me to use wordpress so ill get on it as soon as Dh goes to work.

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RaeSkywalker · 09/03/2016 20:05

ipatches Flowers

StarkyTheDirewolf · 09/03/2016 20:08

Awwww ipatches I'm sorry mate Wine Flowers

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Confusedcat1 · 09/03/2016 20:11

Can we call your blog Starky's Sparkles? Grin

Jamjar12 · 09/03/2016 20:17

It was an accident Hep, damn them and their super fertile private parts!

I never use public toilets (yes, I basically spend my life with a uti) but I had to pee at work today 3 times. Which meant I also had to fend off constant remarks that I was upduffed :(

Thanks to everyone for your kind, friendly words, both to me and other members. It means a lot that we're all in this together!

Confusedcat1 · 09/03/2016 20:20

jamjar so happy to find another person who can't use public toilets Grin I am exactly the same.

SuchaJem · 09/03/2016 20:30

canters that's sweet your nurse said that :) that would totally get me too.

miley wahhhh bet that feels like a lifetime! Good thing you've had one to see little bean

vix doing this deed. Can't think about it as dancing?!

raspberry doing the dirty is MUCH better!!

ipatches massive hug for you lovey

starky where's the link to your blog??

Ni4444 · 09/03/2016 20:36

Tiny don't feel that you have go...but I understand sometimes needing to take a step back from all of this. You do what you need to do. If you need to rant or ask questions (or just lurk) you know where we are!
Ever I don't imagine I could ever tolerate not having kids. But OH does say stuff like "it might not happen". His nonchalant indifference kills me!! But in reality I think it would kill him if we couldn't have kids...so I have to remember that what he says and how he says it does not always reflect how he feels inside

Fx I'm so glad your cat arrived home!! What a worry they can be how will we handle kids?!

ipatches Thank goodness AF has arrived and at least you're not in limboland anymore! Now eat, drink and make the most of it while it insists on being here!!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 09/03/2016 20:44

We could have DWNP? Dance with no pants? Grin But then I just start quoting anchorman, great Odin's raven! By the beard of Zeus!

I can't start creating a blog yet because Dh is eating pasta and wittering about black holes and Steven Hawking and how can he know what's in the universe because nobody's ever been to the universe, so why does everybody listen to him?!

I despair. I tried "probably because hes really clever and like, understands it and stuff, babe" but he didnt shut up, so I'm nodding and doing what my Grandma taught me which is 'If you can't be nice, be vague!"

I knew it was a bad idea to let him listen to the radio at night. We've only just got past the "giant angels which were aliens used to live on earth before people did" phase. He's banned from watching unapproved by me YouTube documentaries now.

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
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SuchaJem · 09/03/2016 21:45

Okay I think this is as positive as it's going to get, what do you think?

Please excuse my zebra.

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
StarkyTheDirewolf · 09/03/2016 21:52

I'd agree that's a positive! Go, go go! Deploy breast missiles and submarine vag! 🚢

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SuchaJem · 09/03/2016 22:21

/lasoos DH

KatOnATinRo0f · 09/03/2016 23:46

I haven't read anything and can't as tired but lol at Starks last comment. That is literally the funniest thing I have read today
Hahahahahhahah

Go jem go!!!!!!

Snowdog37 · 10/03/2016 01:11

A quick and still jet lagged hello from me! Gorgeous sunny day 🌞 But I've been wiped out by American Aunt Flo (the bitch). Horrible heavy period with cramps like you wouldn't believe. Assuming travel f'ed me up. So onto the next bus please... Testing around April 2nd I think.

Haven't caught up with this thread at all... Might take a while...

HepKestrel · 10/03/2016 07:14

Flowers snow. Hope you have fully recovered from jet lag as well now

Confusedcat1 · 10/03/2016 07:20

jem I think that was positive on cd14, which means your egg is plopping now! Go girl!!

Evergreen15 · 10/03/2016 08:05

Starky we dont have home bargains or b&m bargains over here. I feel I am missing out Sad
What what what? Is starky doing a blog? With stories of her and DH???! Where does one sign up?!Grin
Kat can be your PR
Do you get starky Stars for posting or are those still kept for poas self control???
Jem pants off!! HURRRRRRRYYY!!!!
Snow how is MA treating you?!

SuchaJem · 10/03/2016 08:54

DTD yesterday morning and again this morning. I am knackered. DH said he was going to do me for statutory rape Shock

Come on Doreen /tired woopwoop

HepKestrel · 10/03/2016 08:59

fx for you jem ! We must be due another BFP soon!

Evergreen15 · 10/03/2016 09:00

Jem well done!!!
I am exhausted and I havent started! This is ISW but We havent dtdbyet due to the arguments but I think tonight we will.
We are definitely getting older, in my 20s it was almost every day and drinking and all and never tired Sad

Mileymoocow · 10/03/2016 09:09

Hi snow!! Hope all is well and you're settling in quickly.

jem well done! You ride that love length, it belongs to you during fw, not DH.

ever see above. But seriously, hope things are sorted with you and DH soon.

OK, I'm feeling on top of the world lalalalalallaa etc and am grabbing it by the man balls and being productive while I can. Except not really, I'm spending it lying in bed eating cashew nuts and watching Netflix but it's almost the same thing..

StarkyTheDirewolf · 10/03/2016 11:14

Hahaha ever that made me giggle with blogs and PR, kat would be excellent! Yep, I'm just setting one up, might take me a little while to tweak it! 😂 pm me your address and I shall send you a bottle in the post! You shouldn't miss out on good hair just because there's no shop near you!

jem tell him statutory raoe is an American legal term and doesn't exist in the UK so he can whistle for it! 😄excellent banging! Well done!

snow how are you our transatlantic buddy!? Take your time to get aclimatised and enjoy it!

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Snowdog37 · 10/03/2016 11:36

I'm waking up at ridonkulous o'clock each morning, thanks to jetlag. But oh my god. Several things. Firstly: TARGET. Google it. It's my new favorite place on earth. You can buy anything there and it's cheap and it's amazing. I told dh our new house needs to be within 5 miles of one. Secondly, I can't tell you how it warms my cockles to see yellow school buses driving around. It's just so twee just like in the movies! Thirdly: Dunkin Donuts. Fourthly: this feels like a holiday still as we are in a long stay apartment hotel type place. Fifthly: I already love several towns (Concord, it's amazing, West Concord, quirkier, Sudbury, very nice...) But the house prices are making my eyes water. Even with the exchange rate they are pretty much out of reach. So with our eyes opened a bit, we have an estate agent looking slightly further afield. Even though I love this house. There's some amazing gorgeous houses here, so different to the southwest uk. It's all actually a good distraction from ttc. Dh is LOVING being "home" and I already feel this is the right move for us. He's the one saying check the schools out before you fall for a house lol. Pretty sure we can only afford a caravan in a trailer park though if these prices are consistent all over!!!

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
islandgirl99 · 10/03/2016 11:43

starky DWNP! lol Grin if you haven't already signed me up for this blog then please do! This thread takes a lot of reading but never fails to cheer me up Smile

StarkyTheDirewolf · 10/03/2016 11:52

snow my uncle lives in the US and he said Target is like Primarks big imposing daddy! Omg that HOUSE! I put on a stone in 5 days from Dunkin' Donuts when we went to NY! You could have rolled me home from the size of me!

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