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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome!

999 replies

Kwick709 · 07/03/2016 17:17

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

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kwick · 10/06/2016 19:30

caution sounds like you have a plan! Great job!

I was obliged to have an implications counselling session which I found very useful - all the counsellor tells the clinic is that we had it, no judgement made on whether I am cray-cray. This happened after my initial consultant session (which was very quick - as when she heard I had a blood condition she advised me to see a genetic counsellor) but b4 first attempted IUI.

So CELEBRATION TIME: AF has FINALLY arrived!!!!! 7 frickin weeks I had to wait!!!! I am going to see when next IVF protocol can start and see if there is any chance to get some holiday in Smile

StorkAhoy · 10/06/2016 19:44

May I be the first to welcome AF kwick yay! Let's get this show on the road!

Karendvm · 10/06/2016 19:44

Yay kwick! That's awesome.

INeedNewShoes · 10/06/2016 22:18

Kwick good news at last! So pleased for you that you can cross AF off your list of hurdles before your next attempt.

I think I'm about to ovulate. I've got all the usual signs. So I'm (perhaps naively) hoping that my AF will turn up in 2–3 weeks' time.

I'm feeling positive this evening. But then so would anyone after this much wine Wink

Karendvm · 10/06/2016 22:52

lol shoes enjoy your wine! Hope you ovulate and that blasted af shows up.

I have to tell you ladies, ovulating 7 follicles hurts. This has been the weirdest cycle ever. Guess my body was super ready to go after the miscarriage. Hoping next cycle is normal and does what it needs to.

Happy weekend!

kwick · 11/06/2016 06:31

Thanks everyone! So MC has not impacted my period pain agony.... And only taking paracetamol as my drugs of choice (which I have used for 20 years) impact fertility... Wish I had bothered to read the small print all those years ago....
Hopefully digging at allotment will help Confused

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers · 11/06/2016 17:46

Oh - kwick, I am sorry you're in pain but so very glad it's finally arrived!

pickle162 · 12/06/2016 10:22

This is probably the only time you'll hear me say this but yayyyyyyy for auntie flo Smile that's fab news kwick!!!

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers · 13/06/2016 12:50

Can you lovely lot talk me down?

This is a tiny issue in the scheme of things, but I'm so fed up.

Our clinic made an error a few weeks ago, and failed to do a CMV test on DP when they did her other bloods (they also messed up and over-charged us because they processed my blood as if I were the mother - ie., with extra tests - but that's another story). They were very nice about it and didn't charge us for the CMV, but it meant, obviously, that we had a bit of an unexpected delay.

We had the HyCosy, and the doctor said that everything was good to go for the next cycle. She also said that now we'd done that, the chances of conception would be higher for the next three cycles, so of course we want to get onto it.

We were told they had now sent the paperwork to the sperm bank would ring us with a list of possible donors 'in the next few days'. DP rang up this morning to check on the progress of that, and discovered that the nurse thinks the paperwork has been lost! She can't confirm whether it was even sent to the clinic, and she wants to ring us to confirm that 'by the end of the week'.

DP is due on the 19th, so we do actually need to get on with this, and it's looking increasingly as if we'll miss this first cycle.

I totally get that people make mistakes, but would I be unreasonable to chase this a bit? I can't follow why it should take an entire working week to sort this out, and I'm really angry on DP's behalf, because she has got all psyched up and now it looks as if nothing will happen!

I'm thinking of writing them an email (if nothing else, because given their track record they clearly need things in writing).

kwick · 13/06/2016 17:06

TMI alert: period hack about using a sensitive bladder pantie DOES work - no overnight leakages this month.

robins I do not think you are being unreasonable and you should follow up in writing as well as by phone. I have had a number of mishaps along the way and it can be bloody annoying. Will you get charged for a cancelled cycle? - if so you really should object as this is not your fault but their cock-up. Take names of who you talk to and make a log - to use if need be.

INeedNewShoes · 13/06/2016 21:51

Robins that's rubbish and incredibly frustrating. You should definitely chase it. If you have to be a bit pushy, then so be it!

Remarkably, AF seems to have arrived. It's slightly earlier than I thought it could be, so I'm hoping it really is AF and not unwanted bleeding. It seems like AF. Feel free to punch me Kwick . You had to be so patient waiting for yours; it seems a little unfair that mine has strolled along so readily!

Karendvm · 14/06/2016 03:26

shoes so happy for you. And Kwick too, even if it is painful

Can I vent off topic? My ex, who has a 10 year old girl by accident, has started texting me. How much he loves me, And how sorry he is, and how he is thinking about having a child with me. It's all terrible timing and I'm well over him(he was a ginormous asshole when I had my miscarriage' and we were months past breaking up at that point and he already knew what I was doing , it was an iui miscarriage, far beyond anything having anything happen with him). It's just made me angry and frustrated with the world and with so much time lost.

Probably because my iui was cancelled and I'm just feeling disappointed . I'm happy to be by myself and try by myself. Just needed to vent, sorry. :(

Karendvm · 14/06/2016 03:30

Oh and robins that's totally crap and unacceptable. Take names and document everything. This entire process is too stressful to have to deal with incompetence. As a vet I have learned I have to explain everything, because people deserve to have a clear picture as to what is happening to their loved ones, and yet with doctors they seem to get away with ambiguity. Don't let that happen. You have every right to expect that people will follow through. This is your life. It is important. Hugs.

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers · 14/06/2016 14:21

karen, that's horrible. What a wanker he sounds - the arrogance of telling you he's thinking about a child with you, as if you'd suddenly jump at the chance of getting him! Hmm Thank goodness you're well out of that one.

And thank you everyone for the sympathy - feeling much better now than when I wrote that rant! I did write a letter setting out how we felt things had gone wrong, and they did get their fingers out and hurry things up, so that had a positive outcome, even though it has left me feeling a bit nervous now.

It irritates me that this clinic seem to think what women need to hear are vague, soothing 'aw, yes hon, it will be fine ... yes, we can totally do that' kinds of comments. I would much rather know what the situation is, and then I could plan! An example is that when they finally sent us the donor list, they couldn't match the physical characteristic we selected (the only specification we had at all). Obviously, this doesn't matter in the slightest - a baby is a baby, etc. - but what irritated us was that it's now clear they knew from the start that they wouldn't be able to match it, and they just fobbed us of with 'aw, sure hon, we should be able to do that'.

The nurses we've spoken to are lovely, and the clinic gets great results, so I shouldn't complain. But I wish I could ask for the straight-talking, no bullshit version! Grin

kwick · 14/06/2016 16:13

shoes I hope it is your AF. No punching necessary... My AF came at the right time... My body obvs needed longer to heal yes I have turned over a new zen like approach, don't worry the normal cray-cray kwick will be back soon

INeedNewShoes · 14/06/2016 18:12

Kwick Is it you that is taking Folate rather than Folic Acid? If so, can I ask you where you're getting it?

Google search seems to be set up to interchange 'folate' and 'folic acid' so when I search for folate the vast majority of the results relate to folic acid. None of the highstreet retailers seems to sell folate...

INeedNewShoes · 15/06/2016 10:44

Scrap that question - I've just found folate in my local health food shop.

Hope everyone is doing ok today Smile

StorkAhoy · 15/06/2016 11:23

Hi all, so this weekend I turned 38 (gasp) and chose my baby daddy. So rather productive all in all.

Had acupuncture last night and talked a lot about IVF and how it would work, and my therapist told my something that I really hadn't heard before. She prescribes nearly complete rest during the TWW. basically no driving, working, extended walking, nothing that can divert blood flow from where we need it most. She wants me to stay in wales during that time, or if not for at least 3-4 days post implantation and to be driven home, not get the train.

Im now thinking, blimey maybe I should just go to cyprus? at least there I would have a beach!?!!

yet more things to consider....

greetings to all.xx

Karendvm · 15/06/2016 12:42

stork happy belated birthday! And congrats on picking the baby daddy, that's awesome.

INeedNewShoes · 15/06/2016 12:55

Stork

Happy belated birthday!

It's a difficult one - resting during the TWW. I want to be at my best, tip-top condition during the TWWs and I can't help but feel that, for me, being sedentary for two weeks would neither lend itself to good mental nor good physical health. During my TWWs I have avoided doing Pilates & badminton and avoided lifting anything heavy/awkward but aside from that have continued driving, cycling and walking as normal.

There's so much conflicting advice out there, it feels impossible to know how to approach things!

hopingandwaiting · 15/06/2016 17:55

Hi Stork I know IUI is different, but I drove the hour long journey home 15 minutes after it and went back to work that afternoon (in a primary school). Work helped me keep my mind off it as I was busy, but I made sure I didn't do any lifting etc. I'm not a sporty/active type, however I think that 2 weeks of nothing but my own company would have driven me bonkers.

StorkAhoy · 16/06/2016 09:39

thanks for the thoughts all, and the Bday wishes. I know its a tough one. She is obviously speaking from her own experience of what worked for her, and she is very spiritual about the whole thing which is kind of how I feel. especially with the visualisations and meditation I'm undertaking. Im currently planning when this is going to take place. Im getting excited!

kwick · 16/06/2016 11:33

shoes I am on regular 5mg folic acid as prescribed by my consultant. Have been unsuccesful in quest to find 5mg folate... Will try in my local health store!

stork you have been busy! I think total bed rest during 2ww is a bit of an exaggeration... Oh and Happy (belated) birthday!!!! Cake

IVF is indeed more physically intense than IUI but not at the transfer moment but due to the egg collection.

taydex · 17/06/2016 11:07

Hola ladies,

Apologies for being away for so long, it's been a crazy busy few weeks.Anyway, trying to catch up...

Kwick Yay for AF! It's a bit of a head fcuk going from desperately wanting her to arrive to desperately hoping she won't and vice versa isn't it?

Robins - Sounds like your clinic is as useless as mine at times. Sometimes I just wanted to punch someone there in the face and scream "do you not know how important this is for me!". Eugh. Anyway, I guess I can't really complain as they did eventually manage to get me pregnant. My advice is be demanding. Tell them what you want/need and kick up a fuss if you have to. Also ask as many questions as you can/want.

Stork happy birthday!

No massive update from me. 21 weeks pregnant now. Had 20 week scan last week and all well but baby had legs together in odd position so still don't know if boy or girl. Off to Canada for 3 weeks on holiday tomorrow before all my holidays end up being camping in the UK or Center Parcs for he next 18 years LOL.

Anyway, hope all are well and big free Friday hugs all round. Xxx

Karendvm · 17/06/2016 11:54

taydex hope you have a great time over here! Not sure where you are heading, but hope you get great weather and have a relaxing trip.

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