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Conception

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Original poster

TTC following an ectopic pregnancy

913 replies

PinkElephant · 01/01/2007 18:35

Hi, My DH and I have been TTC for the last 8 months and finally found out I was pregnant before christmas. Since then I have been in hospital and have been treated for an ectopic pregnancy. I was given a hefty dose of Methotrexate which has made me feel rotten and should induce a miscarriage soon. We can't start TTC for 3 months now which is really hard to take as it took us a while the first time - but everything will have to be on hold until the summer now. Has anyone experienced this?

OP posts:
lissielouwithbunnyears · 31/03/2007 15:30

oh cedar, thats pants. no tips, seem to get pg vv easily just cant hang onto them! its been v quiet the last few weeks hasnt it?

cedar12 · 31/03/2007 15:33

Very quiet. Keep me updated on your news makes me feel there light at the end of the tunnel.

lissielouwithbunnyears · 31/03/2007 15:36

tbh and knocking lots of wood, feel quite good about it this time. know now that theres nothing more i can do, just have to pray that this one hangs on!

99redballoons · 31/03/2007 16:10

Wow lissielou, fingers crossed for you.

Sorry, have been checking in now and then, but nothing really to report, but thought I should say 'hi' to let you know I'm thinking of you all

Actually, I hope you don't mind me sharing this on here as I'd like to talk, but I know others are trying for no1&2 and in a way I feel selfish(? if that's the right word) about airing these views... anyway, here goes.
Dh & I are in such a conundrum (sp!) state atm, we were 70/30 about having a third when we started trying in Jan, giving ourselves 6 months to try for no.3 and if it happened, how lovely, if it didn't, well we were't going to get all heavy about ttc and would accept being a family of four (very blessed to have my beautiful ds & dd) as I've had a previous mc and also two 'bad' smears resulting in alot of biopsies and anguish etc. so I really didn't want to get heavy about no.3. Then it all happened first month of trying and I must admit I was a bit mixed up about things, how would I cope with 3 etc, am I pushing my luck as I have two lovely dc's and then low and behold I miscarried. After the mc I was (and still am) upset about losing no3. but I thought I would really want to start trying for no.3 again asap, but the reality is we're back in the same place as we were before trying for no.3 and weighing up the pros & cons. If money wasn't an issue we'd try for another just like that, but it is and I worry if we really can afford 3. Plus I'm 35 this year and I just know something will be not quite right this time round and I'm so worried we'll have 'complications' before or after the birth etc. I don't want to add any additional strain to my current family iykwim. I really don't know what to do. Deep down I know I would still like three, but I'm just not sure it's the right thing. So mixed up. Maybe we should just try for a short while again and see what happens.. I don't know. Also part of me doesn't want to have only 2 out of 5 babies at the end of the day, would be devastated if we did try again and yet another mc...

99redballoons · 31/03/2007 16:11

Sorry! didn't mean for it to be such a long post!

lissielouwithbunnyears · 31/03/2007 16:16

the q is, is it your heart or your head thats stalling?

if its your head then youre reacting in the same way i did after my 2nd mc, was just too scared to ttc again so gave it 6m, grieved for my bean then ttc.

if its your heart then maybe you really arent ready for another baby yet! hth, am i making sense?

99redballoons · 31/03/2007 18:23

Hi lissie, a bit of both I guess! Tbh it's made me feel better just getting it down on paper iykwim. My heart wants another baby, I have always thought/hoped I would have three (I come from three and love having two siblings), but at the same time I just can't bear the thought of losing another one... I also can't get it out of my head that I must be due some bad luck after having two such beautiful babes and that I'm greedy for wanting three! Maybe the mc was my bad luck. Maybe next time will be different. I know this sounds completely weird and most likely I'm just not ready for another yet. Dh says we don't have to think about this at all atm, but I can't help it! Mind you I read on another thread that it really isn't worth the energy worrying about things you don't have control over and to save it for when you really need it. So perhaps I should just take that advice. Sorry to go on. It has helped to talk though.

Original poster
PinkElephant · 02/04/2007 09:05

Hi all
How is everyone today? Are you all busy at home with the kids for easter? I on the otherhand amd finding the roads to work bliss!!
Well AF is about to arrive for me .....I can feel the cramps building up. The sooner I get it over with the sooner we can TTC again.
99rb - you poor thing you sound so confused. You really don't sound selfish...yes I'm still trying for my first but I should imagine even when you have 2DC already and want a third its still the same desperate feelings which we all experience. Hope you're ok?

OP posts:
cedar12 · 02/04/2007 11:15

So glad the 3 month wait is over for you pink elephant.

AitchTwoOh · 02/04/2007 11:26

lissie i just saw your BFP! ooh, how wonderful. it's a tense time but hopefully this time it'll all be wonderful. pinktulips, well done for sticking it out for the three months and 99, i hope you work things out soon. i personally don't think that god or whoever is bothered enough with us teeny humans to punish us for wishing to have another of his beautiful little humans, but i can see how it might feel that way sometimes.
anyay, fingers crossed for everyone, exciting times are ahead.

99redballoons · 04/04/2007 13:44

Hi PinkE, glad AF has arrived, you can now 'see' when you can TTC again and make sure dh has no nights out that wk!

Lissie, how are you feeling? Now the AF date has been and gone have you tested again, is it darker? Hope the tiredness hasn't set in yet (but on the other hand, hope it has iykwim!) It's hard chasing another lo around whilst pg those first few months.

Feeling much better about things atm. Had a long chat with my sister and bf (after chatting to you all I realised I really did need to speak to someone and get these feelings out) and realised we'll just approach next time round the same way as we did this last time, try for 6 months and see what happens. If it's meant to be I'm sure it will happen for us again. Not sure when my AF will arrive as I had ERPC on Mar 12 so guessing will hopefully be sometime nxt wk.

Wishing you all a lovely break with your families this wk.

lissielouwithbunnyears · 04/04/2007 13:47

99rb, glad youre feeling a bit more positive afs not due til next mon but testing again today and still faint but darker. boobs are bigger, veiny etc and im so sick! its great.

dont mean to be insensitive to others am just v scared, that 6w mark is looming!

99redballoons · 04/04/2007 13:57

Doh, sorry, thought it was this mon. Wow, so a BFP this early does sound very encouraging along with the symptoms. I found with my ds&dd and this last pg (made it to 9.5wks) that I was sicky etc until 6wks then everything disappeared until wk8/9. It's so hard not to panic during this time, but it happened with my two successful pg's too. Just try to take it as easy as poss.

lissielouwithbunnyears · 04/04/2007 13:58

how are you doing babe?

99redballoons · 04/04/2007 16:12

Doing ok thx. Starting to sort my head out now!

Went round to a gf house this morn with the kids and I said "I have good news" and immediately it was "are you pg???", always the way isn't it! No, my sister is getting married in July so excited for her (they just annouced the date last night, engaged at xmas)

Original poster
PinkElephant · 04/04/2007 18:52

Lissie - I missed your news!!! Congrats!! When did all this happen? I know you must be really nervous.... sending you all the positive vibes I can. What happens next for you?

99rb - Glad you found someone to talk to - it really does help doesn't it. AF for me seems to have brewed and subsided, had one bit of spotting this morning and thats it. What an earth is happening - I'm usually as regular as clockwork We've been very careful as we aren't allowed to TTC until this last week and there's no way I could have ovulated on day 22 surely. Anyway I'm sure AF will arrive in true form and wake me up at 3am with the pains

Cedar - how are you honey? And luby - you too?

OP posts:
lissielouwithbunnyears · 04/04/2007 19:24

got to wait til af due date has gone then i have the direct line to EPAS/fertility clinic so i can get a v early scan, so fingers crossed!

cedar12 · 05/04/2007 08:25

Hi everyone finally got my hsg results my consultant phoned me yesterday. My remaining tube is open and he is going to follow me up in september. I really hope I am pg by then, dd starts school then I am really going to miss her
Pe I hope your cycle sorts it self out so you can start trying again. I am usually regular but had a really short cycle last month. They have been all over the place. How late are you? You never know you might have ov late!
Lissie Keep us up dated when are have the scan and Good Luck
Luby I hope everythings ok with you.

lissielouwithbunnyears · 06/04/2007 16:12

got bloods next weds, the mw was lovely really sympathetic got a it of backache at the mo so taking it easy. Im so scared!

did anyone watch emmerdale last night?? i sobbed my heart out!

lissielouwithbunnyears · 06/04/2007 16:13

cedar, thats such good news sweetheart! will keep everything crossed for you!

AitchTwoOh · 06/04/2007 16:37

ah. i didn't see it but i know that the EPT has cautioned the producers of the show that they are being irresponsible in the extreme. what happened?

AitchTwoOh · 06/04/2007 16:38

and great news, cedars.

99redballoons · 07/04/2007 11:23

cedar

lissielouwithbunnyears · 07/04/2007 12:43

one of the characters suffered a corneal(sp) ep at 10w and had to have an emergancy hysterectomy. it was awful!

started spotting today, looks like yet another beanie didnt want to stay. got a bfp again on thurs night and af wasnt due til mon. so pissed off with this now! wtf is so awful about my womb? why dont my babies want to stay there!

sorry being v self-indulgant and wallowing a bit, but feel really bad about this, still feel sick etc, but know its going to end badly again.

Lullabunnyloo · 07/04/2007 17:05

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} for my lovely lissie

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