Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Hello ladies - just trying yo catch up with the posts. Welcome to the newbies - wishing you oodles of luck!

CHEWY sorry to read your still having a rough time. Its just awful isnt it? Feeling similarly despondent here too - very up and down and overly emotional 🙁😥

Hope you feel happiwe and more positive soon xx

I was interested in what you mentioned about inofolic. I dont have pcos but when I read up on it, it states that it can help with oocyte quality in women without pcos. Do you think it could harm in trying it? I feel very tempted.....

At my end just found out another acquantance is expecting. Delighted for her obvs but it is just never ending the amount of new pregnancies around me just lately. Plus - my youngest ds bless him keeps insisting there is a baby in my tummy ......... Probably because of all the bumps he is seeing!

I really am beginning to feel less hopeful and trying to come to terms with the fact that it probably isnt going to happen for me. Breaks my heart 😥

Apologies for all the typos!! 😕

Sorry about all the new pregnancies around you MattsMamma, it's horrible to deal with isn't it? Hopefully it will be you soon. I have a friend with pcos who started taking inofolic, I think, and I googled their website which lists the ingredients. I don't remember anything contentious but you may find you are already taking most of them - worth taking a look though (I may be remembering a different supplement).

AF arrived for me this evening so back to CD1 again, lovely! My cycle seems to be slowly heading in the right direction - 25 days, ovulating on cd13 vs 24 days and cd12 last month. Usual is 27 and cd15 so I'm getting there.

Welcome newbies! I've been having a tough time lately. On telling dh I was cramps so thought we were out again, he got so mad he smashed my thermometer saying it was doing no bloody good! I know it's now been a year since we lost Ruby but I'm sure I wouldn't have been ready to conceive immediately having delivered a practically full term baby! We are both getting really really fed up and have little faith in our frosty as we've not been lucky so far - quite the opposite really. So just feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I know you have all shared this frustration as well as difficult to manage other halfs!

Oh and ababs - sorry you're out too :-(

Hi all, haven't been around for a while due to travelling and family stuff.

So very sorry to read all the sad stories when I caught up tonight.

Hi to all the newbies - hope you are soon successful!

Kkmuppet - , thinking of you. Nothing else I can say...

So sorry your DH has had cold feet Chewy! Hopefully he'll come around again soon. Are you going to try to persuade him?

Hang in there Matts! I met with a friend the other day who told me of two friends who just had babies, one at 45, the other 46. The 46 year old was a natural conception.

And yes, I believe inofolic can help with more than just pcos. It contains myo-inositol and folic acid.

Sorry AF has you ababs!

Despite a dodgy dtd month (if you remember DH was away during much of the crucial time), I just had a really hopeful few days. I had some early cramping a week or so ago and some twinges during the week. But since mid last week I had v sore boobs, utter exhaustion in the evenings and nausea each day after lunch. Today was particularly bad - I nearly threw up. I was also very emotional.

I was just getting secretly excited and was planning to test on what would have been my due date next week (because of travelling and who I am with etc, it would be really tricky to test before then anyhow, and it will be the first day DH and are together for a while). AF obligingly kept away on CD 26, which has been my cycle length for months (since mc and for most of last year), showing none of the usual signs at all of turning up. Kept away on day 27, which was when she arrived last month. However, tonight, soreness in boobs went and I had a couple of spots and now quite a bit of cramping. It looks like instead of a bfp, I am getting my first 28 day cycle since I got pregnant last summer.

I realise it could have been a chemical - if I had tested today or yesterday, I might have seen a bfp, but then I would only have set myself up for disappointment tomorrow anyhow.

But I can't help feeling gutted, either way.

Sorry to add to our general run of misery at the moment...

Twinkly - if AF's still not arrived (FX) isn't it worth a test? Spotting and worse than usual AF-type cramps has, in the past, been indicative of a BFP for me.

Ababs - sorry for AF, but great to read that your cycle's getting stronger. All good signs?

KKmuppet - I know you've had some f*cking awful bad luck (to put it mildly) and if I'd experienced a stillbirth I've no doubt I'd be absolutely howling at the moon. BUT of course the prospects for your frostie really are completely independent of all that and I'd be really excited if I were you. I do like the thermometer smashing story though, at least it shows your DH really cares (seriously).

Mattsmamma - I'm wary of putting you in the useless corner with me, but just purely in terms of age, I think you're almost a similar age to me? I'm having a really shit time right now and (big selfish alert) I kind of need you not to give up too! Please!

Virtual (((hugs))) for anyone else who needs one - although they're supposed to be "unmumsnetty" hugs aren't they. WTF does that mean?

I'm off to soft play with my only child and have never felt less like going. I need to keep anyone with a baby (or worse, breastfeeding) out of my sightlines, or I'll properly scream. Having a pre-schooler is, of course, simultaneously wonderful and exquisite torture; I'm just dragged through endless opportunities to count other people's children. (Sorry to have such a cheeriness malfunction, but you know ...)

Sorry thread killer!

Not at all Chewy, how was soft play? No bf mums I hope. I'm sorry that things are so hard for you at the moment, is he still dead set against trying icsi? I really hope that he comes round soon.

Twinkly I'm sorry that you got your hopes up this month (though Chewy has a point of course, you may not be out at all - fx). I'm not sure what's worse, that or nothing happening at all. It's all so cruel isn't it especially with your due date imminent.

chewy I totally hear you about soft play. I take my nearly 3 year old there and if it isn't pregnant / bf mums it's her desperately trying to find friends to play with that reminds me she hasn't any living siblings!!

Sorry, didn't want to lose what I'd written!

Kkmuppet I'm sorry you and your dh are feeling (understandably) so down too. I also think that you have to see the FET as a new and separate process. There is a chance it will work - at least you know sperm and egg have already got the first hurdle out of the way. Have you listened to Zita West's meditation for Ivf? It may help to relax you for it if nothing else.

Cd4 here (I think) so still in dullsville. We had the family wedding on Sat which was lovely and ds was brilliant. I didn't actually think about the mc until I was strapping him in the car to leave, I think that's a good thing. Better get some sleep while I can. His sleep has been very unsettled this week as he seems to have dropped his nap [sobs]. Hopefully he will settle down soon...

Thanks Chewy and ababs for your kind fx for me, but AF arrived bags and baggage as I thought today. I know what you mean about symptoms, but for me there's always a point where I know for certain the symptoms are AF and nothing else, and that happened last night.

I'm hanging on to the hope that my 28 day cycle is a positive...

Kkmuppet, as Chewy says, don't give up on your frosty! And I agree also that having your DH totally behind you and ttc efforts is a real positive.

Chewy, I can really sense your frustration! Hang in there! You must figure out a way to convince your DH to try

Matts - I can't tell you how much I empathise with you about other people's babies. I'm getting 'new baby' thrown at me whichever way I look! My due date is tomorrow (well, today) () and I've been (naturally, I think...) a bit sad about it. One of the only people who knows is my mother, who talks about the babies due soon in our family constantly!

When I reminded her that my own due date was making me feel a bit wobbly at the moment she was all because she thinks I need to get over it all ready and focus on my sister and her baby (due soon)...

It's really hard! I really get how you are feeling.

Can I ask if anyone takes baby aspirin? And if you take it all month or just in the tww?

Twinkly thinking of you today

Twinkly - for your lost baby today.

Low dose aspirin - I saw Prof Brosens at Coventry Implantation Clinic after my MC. You've probably heard that he and Prof Quenby do research into uterine natural killer cells (U-NKCs) and other causes of recurrent miscarriage. (He said that in my case though, MC was due to chromosomal abnormalities, so I was likely to experience more MCs along the way, unless I used donated oocytes .)

Anyway, I asked him about aspirin and he said they believe it can interfere with endometrial enzymes that are needed for implantation. Fine to use it to prevent pre-eclampsia, but wouldn't need to start for that purpose until about 12 weeks, although could start as early as 7 weeks if I wanted - i.e. once the pregnancy had stuck. It may be important to point out that he had no suspicion of any clotting disorder in my case - maybe the advice would differ if it were otherwise.

On the other hand, I do know that Dr S at the Miscarriage Clinic recommends aspirin whilst trying and he has very good results too, so who knows who's right?!!!. I just can't remember whether Dr S says whole cycle or not. I wonder if Hula can comment on this? (I think she may have seen Dr S?)

Morning Ladies!

TWINKLY

Sorry AF got you x. Also. for you x

In response to your query with regard to aspirin. I take it daily all the time. I was on Dr S's programme with DS2. If I remember rightly you take this up to around 20 weeks but can't remember the exact number of weeks at the moment. I can always check. Another thing - when I was under the NHS after my last mc at 14 weeks - they recommended taking aspirin and high dose folic acid. They said their reason for the aspirin is that they don't know why but it does somehow seem to help with getting pregnant in the first place and also for the clotting reason which I didn't have. I know there are so many differing opinions on aspirin though with different Consultants etc. My own opinion is that if you are able to take aspirin without any known contra indications I would take it because it seems to help with so many other things both fertility related and otherwise and its only a small dose.

Thanks also for the positive story about the 46 year old - it does give you hope that it still could actually

CHEWY. Yes I think we are more or less the same age and I have been thinking the same about you - we both simply can't give up not yet! We will hang around together and hopefully not in the useless corner for too long! I have felt so awfully low just lately - hopefully turned a corner in that regard as I do feel a touch better today.

ABABS. Sorry about AF but good that your cycle is going the right way 👍

Regarding due dates - I can totally empathise with the lack of understanding from family members. They haven't a clue how it impacts on us. When I was going through MC 2 my sister was pregnant at the same time and seemed completely oblivious to my ordeal. But hey ho - I feel no one understands really unless they have been there. Jeez the amount of mc I have had - should be like the old woman who lived in a shoe! Can't help thinking about those we lose - it's only natural to grieve and bollox to anyone who can't understand that.

As for me well I am sure I'm going to miss the crucial date again as DH working away FFS! Had my usual giveaway signs yesterday but no positive opk just yet so I am not sure? Ovulation seems a bit all over the place to be honest but DH back tonight so we will see?! Will certainly try and see what happens!

Big waves to everyone and big hugs too as I think we all bloody well need one at the moment. Just so good to have you lovely ladies to confer with and get all the 'shit' off our chests if you know what I mean?! XX

Ps. CHEWY. What do you think about taking the inofolic ? I read it is supposed to help with oocyte quality even when no PCOS? I might try next month if no success this time xx

Hi ladies,

Twinkly - sorry af showed and big hugs on your due date. Def agree that people really don t properly understand how bloody hard it is unless they ve been thru it. Hope you can do something special to bring you some comfort and that you don t have to endure any numptys making insensitive comments !

Sorry to all those other ladies feeling down or with a visit from the witch.

Re the aspirin question Dr S did recommend taking it whole cycle and till 20 weeks in all ladies that had had a mc (even if no abnormal clotting results). I have taken it for months at a time and then not taken it and still not bloody pregnant so WTF knows! I d def start it if i got a bfp.

I m cd 8 and just got ewcm so looking like lasts month late ov was a one off as if i get ewcm now i ll usually ov day 12/13. Don t know what to think is good or bad anymore and struggling not to feel sooooooo bored with the endless cycle of trying (and being unsucessful).

Blah, sorry ! We need a another bfp on this thread to lift our spirits. Kmuppet sending positive vibes that it ll be your FET. Have your started meds yet ?

HULA. Yes as far as I know, aspirin along with vitamin D, omega oil, and pregnancy multi vitamin. The aspirin was to be taken daily prior to, during and up to week 20 of pregnancy.

I agree we need a spirit lifting BFP!

hula I'm still waiting for new cycle (any day now) then will be starting down reg on day 21 so quite a wait to go yet :-(

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts yesterday. It means a lot.

It was a difficult day and the first time after a mc (I've had three) when I wasn't pregnant again by the due date.

But I'm holding on to the fact that being back to a 28 day cycle could be good overall - I got pregnant nine months ago when my cycle reverted back to 28 days.

Thanks for the aspirin feedback. I read that it can help with implantation, but I wasn't sure. I suppose I can try for a couple of months and see.

DH has promised not to be away this month at dtd time. He is sad too, but never opposed to 'needing' to dtd! I am lucky that he is completely behind this, but i find his let nature take its course attitude of 'I'm sure it will happen soon' a little frustrating!

Roll on lots of BFPs to give us all a boost!!

Just to add to the aspirin debate. The consultant I saw about our fet said baby aspirin worth a try to aid implantation as some studies show increased rates. I actually take it all the time as after my first few miscarriages it was one of the easy changes I could make. Took it with both my (almost) successful pregnancies up to just a few weeks before delivery. twinkly I know that feeling - really thought we'd be pregnant again by Ruby's anniversary as I used to get pregnant so quickly all the other times. But nearly a year actually trying and nada. It's so tough it you are very lucky to have such a supportive dh that isn't throwing tantrums like mine or giving up like some others

Thanks Kkmuppet, that's helpful. I'd read something recently saying that, and I remembered some people on this thread had mention taking aspirin. I think I'll give it a go.

I am glad my DH is also keen on the idea of having another one, but trust me, he is also prone to tantrums!! Like you, I feel we've lost opportunities because of that. He has also had a slightly frustrating attitude that we have all the time in the world.

I think your thermometer smashing story also shows that your DH really cares about the whole thing, so that's good. In fact, we should all spend some time smashing something each time our efforts come to nothing - it would be a good release!

I've everything crossed for your frosty and hope down reg goes smoothly later this month!

Calibee oh my word, great to hear from you! I've often wondered how you are and what life with twins is like! Good to hear that all is well, I'm so happy that you got there in the end xxx

MattsMamma I hope you and you dh caught that egg on time. It must be hard for those of you whose dp's, or yourselves even, are away at the crucial time. Very frustrating.

Hula did you get a positive opk? You're a few days ahead of me.

Kkmuppet it will be here before you know it. I hated the down reg drugs, I found it made me really dehydrated and I started sleeping really badly as I would wake up thirsty a lot. I hope you don't get any side effects from it.

Twinkly I hope you're feeling a little better now that your anniversary has passed.

I'm 10 dpo today. Failed (again) to dtd on cd8 per the smep but managed last night. I didn't get any opk's this month. I forgot initially and then when I remembered I just couldn't be bothered, it's not like they are doing much good. We'll just dtd eod with a few extras thrown in if I get good ewcm or think I'm ovulating.

Big waves to Chewy, Fatty and everyone else. Wishing lots of luck to those trying this cycle.