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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

999 replies

TwinklyMusic · 26/02/2016 07:26

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
MattsMamma · 06/04/2016 08:48

INSHOCK IRISH/FRECKLES* Thank you for sharing your fabulous and positive news! It really does
give you a 'lift' when you read them!

Hope everyone ok! Even though I know I don't have a chance this
month - I am finding that I am symptom spotting anyway - weird! It would seem I am stuck in that mindset if you know what I mean?! x

Rugby01 · 06/04/2016 10:10

mattsmamma- totally know what you mean. You think 'what if....?' And look for symptoms anyway. I did that the month when oh was away at crucial time! You never know though do you! Look at inshock!

MattsMamma · 06/04/2016 14:14

RUGBY. That's true - you never really do know! One thing a little different for me this month is that at the time I thought I was ovulating (ewcm mainly and a bit crampy). (Sorry tmi) I never got my post ovulation sore breasts which I get without fail every month. I then got quite severe mittelschmerz pains four days after initial ewcm but no sore breasts like I normally do. They are only very slightly tender now at the sides if I prod. I am wondering if my body was gearing up to ovulate and didn't or did but somewhat later? Anyway I suppose I am clinging to that small glimmer of hope! I never learn! Didn't use OPK s this month either - so haven't a clue what's happened this month.

Amazing how when we want something so much our minds can almost convince us even when we know the odds.

Hope your all ok xxx

notsoold · 06/04/2016 23:19

calibee freckles inshock lovely ot hear from you.... I still lurk in here keepig my fingers crossed for everyone. I am 44 years old now and 33 weeks pregnant. Naturally. I am still beside myself in happiness as I thought that nothinh would happen. So Joe is 2 years and a half and little Peter is coming.
Xxx to all

Rugby01 · 07/04/2016 09:35

notsoold - thanks for sharing such great news! Congratulations on number 2. And thanks for giving us such a positive story!

Beegee3 · 07/04/2016 11:33

Hi everyone x I am so behind on the thread...rugby HUGE congratulations on your bfp! Hope you are ok and doing well so far! So happy for you Flowers.
Fridge sorry for your chem, not nice xx
Thanks for the good news stories from previous ladies Smile
I am 11 dpo at the minute, in the middle of Wales camping with my two boys. 11 dpo is actually over for me as my luteal has been 9 (staring period on the morning of 10dpo). So I haven't been doing any testing as not convenient and I purposefully didn't bring any. However I am sure I will be starting af, I keep checking at the toilet block (how glamorous).
Waves to you all x

Beegee3 · 07/04/2016 14:52

Scratch that af got meSad a day and a half later than usual x

ababsurdum · 07/04/2016 15:13

Sad Beegee but good news that your LP has lengthened. Fx for this cycle.

Rugby how are you feeling? How far along are you? I hope you're feeling more relaxed now.

Thanks for sharing positive stories everyone. It's what we're all aiming for.

Cd11 here. Remembered to poas this morning but nothing yet, hopefully ov will be a bit later this cycle. I've had ewcm today and we'll dtd tonight. Is anyone else due to test/AF?

Rugby01 · 07/04/2016 16:31

beegee oh boo to AF arriving but good it's a bit later. Did you do anything to help make that happen? And very glamorous to arrive whilst camping. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your outing.

ababs - yes thanks feeling ok! In the midst of work I even forget about it as not feeling many symptoms at the moment! I am staying positive but realistic. Good that you are readying yourself for this month's dtd. Good luck. Everything crossed for you.

Rugby01 · 07/04/2016 16:31

Ps. Ababs - sorry to answer your question. 6 weeks I think. Want the next 6 to go quickly!

Beegee3 · 07/04/2016 17:01

ababs yes, hopefully this is a good thing. I sort of stayed off here because I was obsessing thinking about it all too much and then as soon as I do post af arrives! rugby agnus castus (but that takes a while to take effect I think) red clover, red raspberry leaf, black cohosh and more b6...so who knows! 6 weeks, how lovely! X

ChewyGiraffe · 07/04/2016 18:28

Go Rugby! So pleased you are feeling confident at 6+ weeks, as you say, hope the next 6 weeks passes quickly!

Really interesting to read that you had given up sugar pre-conception. Would you mind if I asked how far you pushed this - do you mean, say, giving up sugar in tea/coffee, or no biscuits/chocolate etc at all, or did you cut out all refined carbs (bread etc) too? I've read about studies where IVF success has been massively increased by high protein + low carb diets, so what you did sounds along similar-ish lines?

Beegee - Sad for AF but as pp said ^ it sounds like good news that LP has lengthened. I'd love to know whether you can ascribe this to anything too - acupuncture / supplements?

Ababs + Twinkly - Flowers Flowers for your approaching due dates. What on earth is the 'best' way to deal with it - plant something lovely in the garden? It's so very hard indeed. Double good luck with TTC x

Kkmuppet - How exciting that you have a frozen embie! I've come across a couple of previously frozen kids since I had my DD, I find it mind-blowing, just amazing! Very best of luck with your frozen transfer - have you looked into anything to help with implantation - e.g. do your clinic recommend an endometrial scratch in the previous cycle, or acupuncture or anything?

InShock - so lovely to read your update - wow, you're comfortably into the second tri now! Hope it hasn't been too tough getting through early pregnancy with a toddler - did you have much MS? It is so very encouraging to read that despite 18 months TTC and a MC (must have been tough) to conceive your DD, conceiving this pregnancy sounds like it was a pretty effortless surprise!

Calibee - well you've hit upon the holy grail with boy/girl twins - many congratulations! Sounds like they've brought you a great deal of joy. Do I recall that you have older DCs too? Are they excited by their new siblings? Wonderful to read that although from donor eggs your babies feel every inch 'yours' - every post that I've ever read a mother write about using donor eggs says exactly the same, it seems to be a totally consistent message.

Irish/Freckles - I think I may remember you as Frecklefacedgirls? - I always loved your story about having your DC4 at 46 after multiple miscarriages - I think it takes courage to keep going. (I've 'only' had one MC - at 10 weeks having seen a heartbeat on an early scan and I was quite profoundly affected by it - changed my perspective on TTC/early pregnancy totally - and not for the better.) Anyway you were absolutely one of my thread heroes - at least until I sailed past the age when you conceived (weren't you 45?) with no sign of another BFP!

I remember many of the ladies you mention too, which on the one hand slightly scares me how long I've been knocking around these parts and on the other probably says a great deal for how lovely and supportive our little 'community' is. So I scrolled back a bit upthread and on the old thread (Twinkly kindly linked it at the start of this one) just to double-check that my memory's not failing along with my ovaries. And I do hope these posters will forgive my little summaries, but think they are worth repeating as are great stories ...

JBrd became Cloudjumper and lived up to her beautifully optimistic username by having a baby girl on 22 Dec (posted 23 Dec 2015). She said 2 weeks before her 44th birthday - what a magnificent present! I was beyond thrilled for her as hadn't she previously had a second tri loss, at 17/18 weeks due to T18?

Gum posted a lovely update on 27 Dec 2015 - sounds like she has a wonderfully blessed and rich life with her 5DCs and says she came to terms with not having her final baby. I would've loved that for her though. I do miss here posts! She asked after Calibee's twins too.

Greenlizard - posted a couple of photos of her totally scrummy gorgeous DS - he was conceived with donor eggs and she says exactly the same as Calibee that he is every inch 'her' adored little boy. Not surprisingly, as he looks like an absolute corker! PLUS she is pregnant again by an FET from the same cycle! She was 4weeks 6days at the time of her post on 25 February 2016. Greenlizard if you're still reading, I do hope that you're doing well with your pregnancy - wishing you all the very best.

For me - I have lately been bemoaning my limited baby-making options. Thinking about how it seems totally bizarre how my DP manages to get me pregnant first cycle (aged 43!) with our DD (33 months old now, my goodness), then 3 cycles to conceive the little boy we miscarried, then after many, many months of nothing at all and thinking it's all just down to old eggs we find that he's actually allergic to me! At least, he's developed high level of antisperm antibodies from somewhere.

I was hoping that the NHS allergy consultant he saw recently about his other immune issues (hives and episodes of anaphylaxis) would have some kind of magic answer but it was all a bit inconclusive - just plod on with the daily antihistamine and periodic courses of steroids. (Has some sort of follow up appt soon but not hopeful.) So it still looks like it would be ICSI or nothing for us to conceive. Someone posted an image of a bucket of baby dust a while ago - I think I need to go and have a long hard look at it!

Rugby01 · 07/04/2016 18:55

Chewy - you are great at responding to everyone! I'm sorry the consultant couldn't provide any more useful advice for you and your OH. As you say, it is strange it should happen now when it's worked in the past. Good luck with the 'plodding' and with any major decisions you make. Your story of having your DD at 43 is still an inspiration to me.

Ababs and Twinkly - I do hope you are ok as you remember your losses as the dates approach. Sorry for not commenting on that before. It must be very tough.

Chewy - the sugar thing: it was advice from my acupuncturist (who I no longer use as can't afford it!) as he said it can interfere with hormones. I gave up the obvious things like sugar on cereal, sweets, biscuits (apart from once a week when I might indulge a couple), checked packaging for low sugar sauces, meals, snack bars etc, steered clear of sugary fruits and stuck to berries. I don't eat a lot of bread anyway, but found oatcakes are filling and good with lunch instead. In didn't cut it out completely but just cut down as realistically as was possible. I did lose some weight and my thrush completely disappeared which was a sign it was good for my body! It was actually quite good being able to 'justify' eating crisps as they may be fatty, but at least they're low in sugar...

ChewyGiraffe · 07/04/2016 23:40

Rugby - Well I've saved myself a lot of time by not having to have sex ED, EOD, or doing the FFwC as frankly what would be the point with his antibody-wrapped sperm Shock! No I don't mean that (not entirely) of course, but DTD without much hope/intent can seem pretty strange after all this while!

Thanks for elaborating on the sugar-free diet - great tip, it obviously did the trick! Very interesting about the thrush disappearing too - shows it must have improved your health generally, so why not egg quality as well. Did you have acupuncture up until you conceived too? I guess you no longer need it now, so really might as well save your money for something else (like baby things!).

A couple of things I forgot to say:

Irish/Freckles - do you remember Grizzer too? She started off the last thread. She had her little boy at Christmas - see her post on 30 December. I think she was 42 when she conceived and maybe 43 by the time she had him, I can't remember.

Twinkly - was it you who was asking up-thread about a London clinic for HyCoSy? I had one at Concept Fertility on Putney Bridge Road. I can't link from the iPad but they come up easily enough from Google.
There are 2 prices, one includes a consultation and one doesn't. I didn't have the consultation (which made it much more reasonable) but honestly didn't need it - I believe the consultation would've discussed IVF options etc (which I didn't want as I already had in mind the clinics I would consider if it came to it) - there was plenty of opportunity to ask questions/discuss with doctor whilst they were doing procedure (and they tell you basic results there and then) and then send you a full written report. Nothing to 'fix' in my case, but it was peace of mind, plus a little flush out I suppose!

ChewyGiraffe · 07/04/2016 23:55

Posted too soon!
Joey - was also thinking about what you said about not having conceived when 3 perfect looking IVF embryos were transferred, so must be very low chances when only one egg released etc. I'm sorry of course that your IVF wasn't successful on that occasion, and also that you were feeling a bit down at 'missing' a month (I've been there countless times). I think there's a theory though, isn't there, about only one egg being likely to be better quality when you're slightly older than each egg would be, than if you're trying to produce lots of eggs with high dose stimulation IVF? Isn't that basically the theory that KKmuppet was talking about from Create clinic? Anyway, there's always next month, FX.

ChewyGiraffe · 08/04/2016 00:05

Beegee - sorry, I've just seen that you listed your possibly LP lengthening supplements, hope it continues for this cycle. (I'm tired and obvs more dopey than usual ...)

calibee · 08/04/2016 16:52

Chewy what a lovely informative post. So lovely to here everyone's news. Thank you.
Some body asked about my older DC's. Yes I have three 26,22 and 18.... And 2 lovely grandchildren age 6 and 2. All of them have been incredibly excited about their new siblings/Aunty's and Uncle's. It's very different parenting experience to when I had them in my 20's. Things are very different now, not least the invention of social media and forums like this one. The answer to many queries (or indeed the beginning of much paranoia lol) is literally at the end of your fingertips. I can internet shop without leaving my chair and so any other things that I couldn't have even imagined with my first three. I have also been lucky enough to sandwich my career between my two sets of children. Although I can say absolutely hands on heart that although it's twice the work, I would rather be at home with my babies.
I know for some it's a case of coming to terms with, and learning to live with what they have in life now, and for others it's good news. It's so helpful to share though weather the news is good or bad and the ladies on this thread have always looked after each other so well. I just want to say a big thank you and I really wish each and every one of you your wishes to come true X

Kkmuppet · 09/04/2016 11:44

Wow such a lot of catching up to do! beegee sorry you're out this month
rugby glad things looking ok so far and am keeping fingers permanently crossed for you along with two of my over 40 friends also in the first trimester!
chewy I have an appt on Monday to discuss the frozen embryo and I plan to ask them what is anything/everything they can possibly do to give us the best chance. Endometrial scratching, embryo glue, progesterone support, those steroids that prevent immune issues are already on my list of questions - any other suggestions anyone?!?! I am sorry you are in a bit of limbo with nobody giving you any clear answers. I wonder if it is worth you googling for fertility specialist in autoimmune issues and getting a private consultation. With my liver condition I actually googled for medical papers on the topic, found the most prevalent author's name and contacted him directly via his university email address to get a consultation - which worked! I got to see one of the worlds leading specialists to advise me on my next pregnancy.
ababs we are close again in cycle - big few dtd days coming up but off to Dublin again on tues-thurs so hope I ovulate early or late!
matts stranger things have happened so you're not out til you're out!
Everyone else, I hope you are having a lovely weekend and all the positive stories are just fantastic - most people seem to get there in the end of they are willing to try all options which gives me hope!

Rugby01 · 09/04/2016 20:16

KK - thanks so much! 😀

Rugby01 · 10/04/2016 08:24

KK- good luck tomorrow at your appointment. I hope you get some solid advice. By the way, I love your tactic of researching the academics and contacting them yourself.

ChewyGiraffe · 11/04/2016 08:45

KKmuppet - just wanted to echo Rugby's good wishes for today's appointment, sounds like you have a very well researched list of questions! I guess another positive must be that you would expect your frozen embryo to be great quality, otherwise they wouldn't have decided to freeze it, isn't that right? Is it a 5 day blastocyst?

What a brilliantly enterprising way of finding a top consultant for the liver issue! Did you have to travel very far in the end? I expect it would've been worth it though. I am tempted to do the same, now you have suggested it. Only thing is that any remaining fertility must be running very short for us now and lovely as it would be to have some hope naturally, I understand that ICSI is a bit of a short cut cheat to get round the sperm issue at least.

Notsoold - I'm so sorry but I managed to miss your fantastic update that you're now (already) 33 weeks! And what a perfect age gap you we have between your two little boys - although I'm inclined to think that any age gap is better than none! (My DD is 33 months already.) Wonderful that you conceived naturally too - mind me asking whether you were you 43 or 44 at the time? (Just interested - and not that it's in the least relevant to my own situation re TTC unfortunately, as my DD's due date was my on 44th birthday, but turned up a week early ...)

Good luck to everyone else - Ababs + Twinkly are you both about mid-cycle now? Fattyfishwife* - just wondering if you're out there and doing OK, shagging for Britain Wink?

ababsurdum · 11/04/2016 21:24

Kkmuppet I hope your consultation went well today, it sounds like you had a great list of questions for them. Hopefully they will give it and you their best shot. Have you got a date to start?

Notsoold congratulations on being 33 weeks pg. Not long to go now, you must be very excited.

Rugby I hope all's well with you. The early weeks are tough, particularly if you don't have many symptoms (which I didn't). Have you arranged your booking appointment yet?

Chewy have you had an icsi consultation yet? When are you thinking you'd like to do it?

I am on cd15. Thought I maybe had a +ve opk on Fri night (cd12) but then Sat morning it was more positive and then started to fade during the day (I am finding the lines on these clearblue tests a bit crap, even the control line isn't particularly dark). So we have dtd for the last four nights and I'm taking a well earned break tonight Smile. I had ov pain most of Sat so I'm going to assume that was ov day which makes me 2dpo today.

Fatty it would be great to hear from you.

Have a great evening everyone.

Frecklesfrecklesfreckles4 · 12/04/2016 01:27

Chewy ,thank you so much for taking the time to give an update on veterans of the thread, it was lovely to hear how everyone is doing.
I'm sorry to hear about your DH's immune issues,it must be really frustrating. Will you have ICSI do you think?
Calibee good to hear the rest of the family are well, it must be strange having grandchildren older than your children, but I'm sure the family dynamic works well We have a 21 year age gap between oldest and youngest and regularly confuse people, often if DD1(nearly 17) is out on her own with DD3 people assume she's hers and the same happens with DS (not helped by the fact that little one sometimes calls him Daddy!).
notsoold , another little boy on the way, what great news, congratulations!
inshock , I can see where you're user name came from, what a lovely surprise to be pregnant again so soon.
I don't know if anyone noticed the thread in chat where a lady in her late forties was asking if it was worth continuing with contraceptives?
There are lots of stories about unexpected late pregnancies (even in 50 something year olds)!

TwinklyMusic · 12/04/2016 06:51

Lovely to hear all the happy stories from the 'oldbies' from past threads. I want to be one of you some day!!

Chewy gave a great update on people. I think Fireflies also still drops in sometimes. Maybe she's lurking?

Freckles - Stories of women in their fifties getting accidentally pregnant??!! Wow! Suddenly we all sound like spring chickens!

V exciting notsoold, great to hear things are going so well.

Thanks for the HyCoSy info Chewy. I will have a mull. I'm not sure what the next step is for me. DH has been against the idea of any intervention, but he has always been completely convinced that it will all just happen in due course and that we have not been 'trying hard enough' (Hmm). I'm increasingly sceptical (and that's starting from a very sceptical point to begin with Wink) because up until 40 I got pregnant with what now seems a jokingly small amount of effort (immediately I started trying). Since then, it's only been the pregnancy last summer that sadly ended in mc. So, I'm thinking about what, other than age, might be different and what might help.

How did your consultation go Kkmuppet?

Well done ababs on dtd! We are on the same cds this month, although I did not properly opk so I don't know when/ whether I ovulated. Because DH was away, I was feeling a bit oh well, what's the point? I did one clear blue digital on cd 13, but it was a clear circle and I went right back to my 'oh no I'm not ovulating' paranoia. It was also, of course possibly too late to test as I think I ovulated on cd12 most months, although it was cd 13 last month. If it was cd 12, well then I'm still in with a chance, but any later and probably not because DH is away. If I didn't ovulate, well I guess it doesn't matter anyway...Confused

How are you doing Rugby? Have you had a peak at the graduates thread yet?

Hi Beegee, Matts! How are things? Are you still around Fatty?

OP posts:
Kkmuppet · 12/04/2016 09:15

chewy I only had to go to Birmingham which was lucky - but I guess no matter where someone is, with Skype or similar you could make it work!
ababs sounds like you've done your best this cycle so fingers crossed.

Well today is the first anniversary of our daughter's death. Today is the day I woke up and noticed she hadn't moved for a while and our whole world came crashing down. I'm not writing this to get lots of sympathy as you ladies have already done that - just to acknowledge Ruby Rose. I know others of you have sad dates around this time too.
Well, onwards and upwards. Appt went well. I found out we have a top quality blastocyst frozen on day 6. And it is exactly 5 years old this month so I was a sprightly 39 when it was fertilised. I also found out that 5% don't survive the thaw so knowing my luck, that's where we will be. I paid for the cycle and got the drugs but then realised that if I ovulated in the next couple of days which is very likely, then I could get naturally pregnant this cycle with the dtd we've done already so to start a down reg on day 21 could kill an embryo. surprised the clinic didn't ask me if there was any chance we could be pregnant - obviously think it so unlikely as to not be worth mentioning lol. So I am going ahead in c. 5 weeks time on my next day 21 and making sure we don't have any chance of being pregnant which will be a really nice change. Doing medicated cycle mainly cos my ovulation date is not always the same and also this way I can plan work around it and make sure I'm not in Dublin at the critical time.
I talked about all options. They said endometrial scratching wasn't worth it for me as I'd already had so many babies implant in the past (8 I think). They also said that assisted hatching wasn't necessary and that I didn't need blood thinners. They said they don't usually prescribe prednislone (spelt wrong I think) unless people have had multiple miscarriages (yes lots) and no living children (we have one) but that following my theory of 'if it doesn't hurt and might help I'll do it' they agreed to prescribe me it for post transfer along with progesterone and oestrogen support. Oh and baby aspirin but I always do that anyway.
But having paid £1300 I'm now sitting here hoping that actually I've wasted that money and we've managed a magic natural pregnancy on this special day. Only time will tell....