Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Oh, and Chewy, it's not dementia, it's our awesomely active thread!

Just a boring cd11 here. I am necking loads of supplements with some new additions. Started on the agnus castus, red clover and red raspberry leaf now...it seems my luteal phase is only 9-10 days and these are supposed to help. Also, now taking maca and black cohosh, honestly I nearly gagged yesterday sat taking all my supplements a couple at a time - it took a while. Not expecting to ovulate until cd 18. If I was attempting the FFC I would be failing miserably this month - bad heads and tiredness/feeling rubbish, but not at my window for a couple of days. Big thumbs up to those who are going for it!
I still wrestle with whether I am doing the right thing trying to conceive, but it looks like that's what I am doing.
I asked my 10yo earlier if he wanted to get dressed, walk down to the park and feed the ducks, then come back and play with his lego. He wasn't interested in the park, I miss that. Lego is still a go-er though ☺. My 14yo is away with Duke of Edinburgh this weekend. Some days I think do I want to go right back to starting again with a baby and the possible emotional upset with 14yo (big worry) but the underlying feeling is that we have so much love to give another little human. Sorry for the waffle 😕. Really hoping for some bfps soon x

Joey - everything crossed for you. Really hope the no-spotting is s good sign.

Beegee- sounds like difficult logistical as well as emotional factors in your ttc #3. Good luck with this.

And Pies -FFC while breastfeeding and sleeping with a child in the bed - even more credit to you if you dtd everyday!

I'm 5 dpo. At the moment spending too much time wondering I have early signs. I know I mustn't but i can't help it... Is my bra tighter than usual and other pointless questions!

Good luck to all of us and good luck staying sane, those who are also in tww!

It is hard to know how a new little human will change family dynamics, Beegee. I think 15yo is a big emotional leap from most 14yos, so maybe by the time a baby came along it would be less of an issue?

Rugby, I'm really hoping for your bfp, but you must stop symptom spotting at 5dpo. That way lies madness!

I realise that we sound like the crunchiest parents ever, but it was totally accidental. DS would not sleep even one minute not attached to one of us or in motion in his pram. We slept in shifts for two months before we tried co sleeping, as nodding off in the armchair seemed more dangerous. It was desperation. We are hoping to transition him out soon. We are supposed to be moving over the next month (completion on weds, fingers crossed!) so we think it'll be new flat, new bed. But we must be crazy to want to do all if that again!

chewy I think the 1-3 eggs per cycle is a hope rather than an expect and then you never know how many will actually develop into freezable embryos. I plan on asking more questions about how many embryos per series of 3 cycles so I know my expectations are set realistically! The cost is a little more than 12k as there were a couple of things I found I had to add in - it's more like 13,500 but that's with the maximum doseage of all the drugs so could be up to £1k or so less than that depending on individual response.
The drug regime they have proposed for me is Gonal-F 150 for 5-8 days plus cetrotide 0.25mg for 4-7 days. Not looked that last one up yet but hadn't heard of it!
4-5dpo is too early to test right

you lot are all just too lovely for words

Sorry you're out Fatty. I'm out too. Started some spotting over the weekend, and af has properly arrived this morning, so back to CD1.
To be honest, I wasn't actually that disappointed this month. I think I may be coming to terms with the fact that I really don't think that this is going to happen for us, and we are going to be a lovely and happy family of 3.
I met with a nurse at the IVF clinic last week. She was really lovely and we had quite a long chat. She was trying to convince me of the possibility of trying the donor egg route, and for a while whilst I was chatting to her, I did start to consider the possibility and get a little bit of excited. Having mulled it over though, and chatted with DH, I'm definitely ruling this out. I have emotional concerns about it, and also there is still no guarantee that it would work, so that's another £7.5k gone!
There are a few more tests I could have - some bloods and also the tube check. I just need to decide how far I want to keep pushing this. I had a really disturbed night's sleep last night and I'm feeling absolutely shattered today. I'm thinking - do I really want that every night again with a newborn???
Best of luck to those of you in the 2ww at the moment, and also to those of you trying the FFW challenge!!

Joey - sorry to hear AF came. Sounds like you are considering all your options st the moment. I hope you're ok and get some rest today/tonight.

CHEWY Did make me feel much better when I read what you said about it working twice already - absolutely! 😀. Bloody hard staying positive sometimes though and the fluctuating hormones each month don't help! I am not currently under Dr Shehata's care but rather am hoping for a BFP and then to start taking pred if and when that happens and then make appt to see him. I can't cope with popping steroids two weeks each month on the off chance I could be pregnant. Many clinics protocol is pred at Bfp so I always test mega early to make sure I could start the pred at the earliest opportunity. Last time I saw him he did say my NK cells were practically normal (they do fluctuate in everyone) but I would still need steroid treatment if I got pregnant because of the the thyroid antibodies. These antibodies incidentally are thyroid peridoxase antibodies (TPO) - it might be worth asking for a blood test to check if you have them? Mine have always been high but they did come down somewhat when I took selenium. I took them in pregnancy also as Dr Shehata confirmed this would be fine (200 mcg daily).

PIES. and CHEWY. Re; the selenium. It is not a treatment as such but comes under vitamins/minerals heading. Brazil nuts have a very high content. I would recommend anyone with hashis to take selenium. Also avoid vitamins with iodine in as although it can help some thyroid problems in hashis it can aggravate problems. I felt so much better in my pregnancy with the extra supplements I was taking even though I was almost 5 years older than when first pregnant. I actually felt bloody great!

Another thing I have just read recently is regarding vitamin B6. Apparently it can really help with luteal phase defect and is supposed to help generally with fertility amongst other things. It needs to be a 50mcg dose though and I do feel tons better on this too. Superdrug sell it at this dose. Not sure about this dose if one fell pregnant though? It is in most prenatal vitamins but a smaller dose. In fact B vitamins generally are a must for thyroid sufferers.

Think I might just have this month off the Ttc business. It really is taking its toll somewhat. However when it comes to the big O time of the month I will probably change my mind - just feel so bloody deflated this month. Plus seem to be surrounded by pregnancy at the moment. So many people having, had or about to have babies! Aargh!!!

joey sorry you are out this month. We've also chatted about the donor egg route and I'm just not sure how I'd really feel knowing the baby wouldn't be genetically mine. Never mind the cost as you say. I do know a colleague at work who actually spent a fortune on this route, travelling to a leading clinic in the US - but has two beautiful children to show for it from the two cycles she did so it is tempting as kind of a last resort option to keep in reserve - but then there's the question of how long you wait before giving up ttc naturally. This is all so hard!!

Hi! How's everyone doing in the tww?

8 dpo here, I haven't tested yet. No real symptoms. How's everyone else doing? Will reply properly later.

7dpo ish and deliberately didn't bring tests away with me so I can't test!

Cd12 here. Missed one day of the FFC so far, as DH went for a work night out and didn't return until after I was asleep. We are supposed to be completing on our new place tomorrow, so I expect to be busy cleaning and painting over Easter and next week. I hope we can find the energy for the FFC!

Thanks for the info on the selenium, Matts. I haven't had my TPO tested in years and no one mentioned it in my last pregnancy. Maybe we were just lucky, or maybe my antibodies are low. My thyroid has been completely dead for at least a decade, so maybe that makes a difference? I do insist on being very aggressively managed with my levothyroxine. I have another blood test coming up so I can ask for TPO to be added and brace myself for another discussion with my gp about why I want to have my TSH at the low end of the normal range.

I think that if we could afford it and there miraculously were donor eggs available, we would go for it. After they've spent ten months growing and developing inside you, that genetic difference would feel unimportant, I reckon.

Good luck to all you guys in the tww.

I think if I didn't have any dc then I would definitely be interested in donor eggs, providing my dh was on board. For me now though I don't think it's an option.

Well done so far on the FFC, I think you get an A for effort so far!

I'm feeling a bit ratty so thinking that maybe I'm out already this month. Hard to know if it's pre-menstrual or just a natural reaction to the terrible twos.

Oh and good luck on the completion and move Pies, very exciting

Yes, I can definitely see where having other dc already would be part of the donor eggs calculation. And I can totally see both sides of this discussion, so no judgment was intended!

Thanks for the luck, ababs, we had agreed to complete two weeks ago, and that date fell through because of the sellers' (undisclosed) legal issues, so it feels like luck is needed. I hope the ratty-ness is just the terrible twos, but that also seems like a tough thing to wish on you. Sending easy dinner eating and peaceful bedtime vibes your way.

Not that I need to be able to see both sides to not judge other people's choices... I'm going to stop digging this hole now

Hi Pies. I don't think that you came across as saying anything judgemental - just your opinion which you are perfectly entitled to!
I think I feel the same as Ababs on the donor egg issue. If I didn't already have a child, I would definitely consider it. My worry is that I would possibly feel differently about the DE child as it wasn't genetically mine, while the first DS was all mine. As you say, it may be that after 9 months of carrying and giving birth to him/her, you would completely forget about it. But, I still feel concerned enough about it probably not to do it. It's worked well for a lot of people though, so I don't have any ethical issues about it.
CD3 here for me. AF still in town. Can't wait for her to pack her bags and leave. I ordered some Agnus Castus yesterday after reading a thread on here of at least 3 people who got pregnant while taking it - such a great sample range it must be true!!!
Anyone coming up to testing/af time yet??

Pies I don't think you sounded judgemental at all. I hope I didn't, I certainly didn't intend to. My feelings/fears are exactly the same as Joey's. I would worry about, even subconsciously, feeling differently about the child. I'm also not sure of the legislation regarding whether they can trace the donor? That would hurt a lot I think.

Hurt me, I mean.

ababs if you do DE in the UK the child is legally entitled to trace their biological mother when they turn 18. As the DE option hasn't been around for 18 years yet there are no cases of it happening, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. I agree that would be awful. Apparently you are under no obligation to tell the child how they were conceived, so if you didn't tell them then it wouldn't be an issue, but that just seems to me like keeping a massive secret all your life. The laws are different overseas so you could do DE abroad and the child wouldn't be able to trace their mother. I'm just sharing this because it's what I learnt after my visit to the clinic last week. I'm not seriously considering it though!!
For me it would be a very difficult decision, but I do tend to overthink things. I should be more like Brad and Angelina and just get a mixture of children from different places and love them all equally!!

Oh good. Thanks for reassuring me! It's always a worry when online and discussing such an emotive topic.

I didn't know the resulting dc had a right to trace the donor. I agree that would be awful. If we had the money, which we definitely don't, especially if we spend all our money on a house tomorrow I think I might try to do one of those cycles where they collect your eggs and the donor eggs, and put in the best embryos, so no one is really sure whose is whose. Then I would determinedly assume it was my egg!

Hi everyone x cd14 here, 2 days of flashing smileys. Really hoping that my luteal phase may lengthen/I may ovulate earlier and that my body is still balancing itself after he mini pill x

Pies - good luck with house move! Hope all goes well and it's a lovely new home. - and that you get time and energy for FFC!

Interesting discussion about donor eggs. I had not thought of it before and there are certainly lots of difficult questions to consider.

Ababs - I am about the same point as you - 8dpo and not feeling much either though of course everything and nothing feels like it could be a sign... Ugh I hate this tww. And just want a glass of wine but feel I shouldn't! How about you, KK?

Beegee- glad you have the smiley face! Good luck this month. Really hope it's your month.

How's everyone else?