TTC for 10 months and the rest! 10 plussers welcome! Thread 3 (the one where we all get our bfps!)

[lucieloos]

New thread ready for us chatty ladies! If you have been trying to conceive for over 10 months pop in and join us. We are a friendly bunch!

Thanks trixie. Perhaps I'll buy that book (or can you take a pic of that page for me?!) I am definitely going to ask my doctor about prednisone (hoping it won't be too late at that point!). Unfortunately my allergies are triggered by inhalants rather than food so I'm not sure how helpful cutting out gluten will be, but I can certainly give it a go for a couple of weeks. Hay fever season is starting so I'm definitely going to need a solution soon!

I'll take a photo tonight Stealth

I'll take a photo when I'm home shortly! Been re reading the book like stink as you can imagine!! Xxx

Morning all!
Hope everyone is doing OK! I love how supportive and helpful everyone is with the immune issues. :)

I have a question for those of you doing/planning on ivf. Do your parents know? I'm out this afternoon with my mother and future mother in law, and DP has suggested telling them that we'll be doing ivf. So far, they know I came off the pill nearly two years ago and that's the last they heard of it. Just wondered what everyone elses experiences are.

Sorry if this posts multiple times MN keeps timing out and saying it's failed to post! Pages about allergies xxx

Helps if you bloody attach them of course!

Thanks banana and mpp! Shall have a read.

mpp my mother knows, mainly because I asked her a bunch of questions to see if there was anything genetic. (She'd always told me I was conceived easily but when I was diagnosed with PCOS told me that actually she hadn't had a period for a whole year before I was conceived and that "I remember they were about to put me on some pills [presumably xlomid]". Being my mother she put it down to being "too skinny" [vain] ).

Haven't told mil yet as she would undoubtedly hold it against me, she is obsessed with the fact that me being a career woman is somehow damaging to me and this would just be grist to her mill. But would definitely (get DH to) tell her if I thought she would be supportive!

Hmmm. Have had a read. My eosinophils are normal (finally - had some problems with them in the past) so maybe I am ok? I shall ask!

My parents, siblings and close friends (and my boss!) all know about our IVF. I'm pretty open about it all. I was very vocal about wanting to have a baby when DH and I got married nearly 2.5 years ago so it got pretty obvious that we were having fertility issues. I would tell my in laws but my father in law is very unwell and DH does not want to tell them.

I've been completely open - I run people on a need to know basis but all my family and close friends know we've been having treatment. My MIL doesn't know, but DH is largely estranged from her and speaks to her about once a year, so doesn't really share much. He did tell her about the miscarriage though.

The support from my friends and family has been unbelievable. I don't know how I'd have got through this trying to hide it all tbh!

My parents know as I needed their support and they have been a massive help. I've also told 3 close friends. We haven't told any of dhs family just because he doesn't want the pressure from them and for them to be asking questions all the time.

We haven't told my family (no immediate family anyhow) but have told DHs parents and one of his siblings. But we were very vague about timescales about when we find out if it's worked - I wanted to buy some time before they asked questions. We didn't tell my close friends but a couple of people I work with know (in the last couple of days of treatment I couldn't hide it). Dhs closest friends know. I feel that more people know I am pg than I would like to at this point, but it's ok they know because it's been so bloody tough and if it goes wrong I'd appreciate the support.

We haven't told our parents, but a few close friends know we're having problems. Quite a few friends have had babies through ivf these last few years so everyone seems pretty nonplussed. I'm worried my mum will quietly not approve - I don't know though, I've never talked to her about ivf. I'll need her support though so will probably tell her once we're underway.

My mother was amazingly blasé about IVF. In fact when I told her about the PCOS she said "oh don't worry you can just do IVF"

I think mums are generally a bit more cool about this stuff than we give them credit for MIL excepted

I'm actually regretting telling my MIL about our fertility troubles ...

The precedent was set when I was really ill in hospital with endo for several weeks/months - she was very involved and supportive, so I it seemed natural to update her after that. But now I kind of wish I hadn't! Especially with the actual date coming up - I don't mind her knowing that we're doing it in general but don't want her phoning every day to check on progress (which I could see her doing). I'm trying to think of a way to get out of telling her more if she asks ... Any ideas? At least my SIL is due to have her baby around the time of our treatment, should distract her!

Thanks for the replies, all. I read most of them while waiting for DM and DMIL to arrive, but didn't have time to respond. Star, like you I was worried that one or both of them wouldn't approve, especially of going abroad to do it, but ive no idea why I thought that would be an issue. Up til now, I've only told the group of friends ive mentioned, and perhaps it was their reactions that made me worry about telling other people. I did tell them both, and I needn't have worried at all. They were both nothing but supportive, they didn't come out with even one clichéd anecdote or 'remedy' and I am bloody pleased I told them. Again, thanks for sharing your experiences everyone :)

Thanks banana. Do lots of places do the bloods, or just the London clinic? That would be awkward for me. Thanks also for the photos of the book, very interesting.

MPP I'm glad you told your mum, and mil. My mum is amazing. She's there when I need her, but never asks anything unless I I start the conversation. Mil is ok too, but does come out with a lot of stories about next doors seconds cousins best friends IVF success. She also told her sister (DH auntie) which I'm silently seething about. Xx

sammy you can get the bloods done anywhere that's local and convenient to you, all you need is a phlebotomist to draw the blood and you then get it shipped overnight to Athens. The (very helpful) Dr (molecular biologist, not a physician) I've been liaising with gave me a referral letter to specify what blood draws I need (ie how many samples and in which vacutainers). I have also found somewhere online to buy a specisafe mailing pack to safely pack up the vacutainers for shipping. Happy to share details if useful.

You will need a Dr to prescribe any immunes treatment as Locus medicus are just a lab, but it's a hell of a lot cheaper than the Chicago blood tests xx

brenna just a thought, but are there any NaPro doctors near where you live? NaPro is a fertility approach developed out of a Catholic institute to provide fertility treatment that doesn't involve IVF. They look a lot at your hormones and do get you to chart your cycles according to the Creighton method of natural family planning. Just a thought as it's basically Catholic fertility treatment - so aims to really get to the bottom of as much as possible where IVF isn't the last step of the ladder...

Oh God, this infertility is really getting me down... Went out for dinner last night with some girl friends, afterwards one of my best friends told me she's 8 weeks pregnant. She knows we're struggling and actually apologised, which was awful. Had to endure an agonising 10 minute walk to the station where I tried to ask her questions and keep upbeat and just about held it together til we separated and then cried and cried all the way home. It's just so awful, she said they were going to start trying in Feb so she obviously got pregnant straight away. I feel so incredibly envious I don't know if I can honestly say I'm happy for her, and she's one of my very best friends. Feel rotten this morning, think I've hit a super low point
Hope you lot are feeling more positive this weekend - it's sunny in London today, finally!

Star I'm sorry for the baby bomb, and that you feel so down today. It's bloody crap, isn't it. Thinking of you

Urgh star I'm so sorry for the baby bomb. It sucks and no mistake.

Yes London is glorious today!

I'm meeting up with two fellow militant barren friends (who are both also seeing the same fertility Dr as stealth and I) for lunch at the Chiltern Firehouse. We plan to bitch about baby bombs and doubtless swap stories from the infertile trenches...

sammy I don't think I really mind who knows, but I want either myself or DP to be the ones who tell people, so I swore them both to secrecy yesterday mainly my mum who likes to talk so u can understand why you're seething about that.

Sorry bout th baby bomb star. It effing sucks the big kahuna. Be kind to yourself today.
I've just had a cut & colour at the hairdressers - highly recommended! I was looking like a yeti. Definitely going to get out in the sunshine today - brilliant!

Hope you're all having great weekends. Have fun at the Angels bitching session banana!

Ooh, thanks for the heads up Banana that is really interesting.

Sorry about the baby bomb Star. I hope you don't feel bad for too long.

We were round seeing the friend who was pregnant at roughly the same timea s me and had her baby last month. Baby was in a mood and crying but stopped and fell asleep the two times she was handed to me so that her Mum could do stuff and get a break. That almost made me feel worse that I clearly can cope at least to some level with babies, but may never get the chance to find out for myself. It was easier than my first visit after she had the baby. DH was away and the two people pregnant with me had their babies just a few days apart, then my friend was dying to have us round and get some sanity but DH was away for a week on a course, so I manned up and did the visit myself. This time it was a lot less raw an I had already got over the hurdle of holding someone else's when I will never hold Rowan (mine).