TTC for 10 months and the rest! 10 plussers welcome! Thread 3 (the one where we all get our bfps!)

[lucieloos]

New thread ready for us chatty ladies! If you have been trying to conceive for over 10 months pop in and join us. We are a friendly bunch!

lucie I started a pregnancy after infertility thread as I didn't feel like I really fit in on the antenatal threads

I've obviously dipped out of that, so don't know if it's still v active, but there were some lovely ladies who really GET it

I'm more than excited to read about scan news etc - gives me hope!

I'm struggling at the moment because my body is showing no signs of realising the baby isn't there - boobs still look pregnant and blazing BFP on a cheapie yesterday.

I just want to get on with tx and I'm dreading how long we might have to wait before we can cycle again. Just feel like I'm treading water. And just want my body to catch up with my mind....

Banana what do the doctors say about your current limbo? Anything you can do?

I'll keep say from commenting to much. hope my earlier update wasn't insensative. for all who are hurting right now. Lucie there is a bumsnet grads facebook group if you want to join it, I'm not ready yet for that but you'd find some familiar faces there (chops, purdie etc).

Banana, so sorry you are still in limbo I am very similar to you in that my defence to all of this was to plan and get going with the next lot of treatment ASAP so I know it must be hard that you don't know how long it's going to be and its a matter of waiting it out. Has your doctor been able to tell you how long these things normally take? I had a look on the ante-natal boards and couldn't see anything relating to IVF. Maybe I need to scroll a bit further back or start a new one.

Boris, thanks lovely, I'm sure nobody minds your earlier post. It's natural to want to mention it if it's worrying you a lot. Thanks for the offer of the bumsnet board. I don't think I'm quite ready either but I may take you up on it a bit later if things go well.

That's what I was thinking Lucie but I feel bad if I'm the only one that feels that way.

Not at all Boris, hope you are ok.

Thanks ladies. lucie the thread was in pregnancy. It's called 'pregnancy after infertility' - might have gone a bit quiet but when I started it there were loads of really lovely people who joined in.

boris don't be daft lovely! Just because I'm going through a shitty time doesn't make me any less happy for all you lovely ladies. We're all soldiers in the trenches and you've more than done your time in the battlefield!

I don't know what the timescales are. Follow up is Monday next - which is 4 weeks post ERPC, when hopefully the result of the tissue testing will be back. Asked for them to be given in person and not sent through the post, as they will say whether the baby was a boy or a girl, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to hear that yet

I'm looking at getting the level 2 immunes done via the lab in Athens that Serum use - it's not identical to the Chicago tests, but a lady on FF who had them said when she went to Dr Gorgy he accepted them, so they must be reasonably pukka if he was happy to go off them. And only 300 euro (plus local phlebotomy and fed ex costs, which I'm looking into at the moment).

My Dr will prescribe empirically, but it'd be helpful to identify any issues to give a bit more direction, if only for peace of mind. And also very much like you say lucie, it helps me feel like I'm actually doing something proactive, instead of just spinning my wheels

mpp give our regards to James Joyce!

Hey ladies, sorry not posted in a while - I've been keeping up with you but trying not to be on mumsnet too much.
Really glad things are going well for you lucie and boris. I don't mind the updates - they feel different coming from you guys who have had difficulty conceiving. However, I'd probably find it difficult if it got 'too much' but have no idea where the line is. So far, nothing has felt hurtful or insensitive - I'm just really happy for you both.
Banana, I really hope you get a negative test soon (how ironic) - it's so cruel that your body does this to you. Fingers crossed it's not too long before you can get going again.

mpp, nice blood results. Do you get going in June? Did you keep your DH on the supplements even though the re-test wasn't great? We aren't planning to re-test - the Dr said a re-test was academic as either I will be pregnant or they won't have worked and we'll be doing IVF. But given Stealth's PGS results, i feel like any one cycle is such a lottery that if there's an improvement I'd sooner postpone IVF if the proxeed is working. Anyway, we'll see - I think I'll call up and see if they'll re-test next month. I also got the book Banana mentioned called "It starts with the egg" - it's in equal part very scary about all the dangers in your kitchen and quite positive about the ability to improve sperm quality and count. I don't know - I think I'm getting cold feet about IVF.
trixie, good luck for your appointment. So soon before you get going - exciting!
Welcome Brenna and Rebecca. Rebecca, I was taking 3000mg EPO per day until ovulation for a few months before we got the male factor diagnosis in January at which point I stopped pretty much everything and tried to chill out. I took it to increase my cervical mucus.
Brenna, I hope you get your bfp soon without ivf. You have clearly been pregnant before so hopefully it's possible - is there any reason to think you aren't ovulating? My OH has reservations about ivf - not for religious reasons but for environmental ones (it's more the judgement about why we've chosen not to adopt). I think everyone needs to make the right decision for them. I don't feel great about ivf because of what my body will go through, but I've found that the reality of each decision point is so different to what I thought I would think - I'm on a train now and not sure at which point I'll feel able to get off. It's good in a way that you have a clear stopping point, but obviously fingers crossed you don't reach it.
Ah, sorry I've written so much. Hi to anyone I've missed!

Hey ladies, sorry not posted in a while - I've been keeping up with you but trying not to be on mumsnet too much.
Really glad things are going well for you lucie and boris. I don't mind the updates - they feel different coming from you guys who have had difficulty conceiving. However, I'd probably find it difficult if it got 'too much' but have no idea where the line is. So far, nothing has felt hurtful or insensitive - I'm just really happy for you both.
Banana, I really hope you get a negative test soon (how ironic) - it's so cruel that your body does this to you. Fingers crossed it's not too long before you can get going again.

mpp, nice blood results. Do you get going in June? Did you keep your DH on the supplements even though the re-test wasn't great? We aren't planning to re-test - the Dr said a re-test was academic as either I will be pregnant or they won't have worked and we'll be doing IVF. But given Stealth's PGS results, i feel like any one cycle is such a lottery that if there's an improvement I'd sooner postpone IVF if the proxeed is working. Anyway, we'll see - I think I'll call up and see if they'll re-test next month. I also got the book Banana mentioned called "It starts with the egg" - it's in equal part very scary about all the dangers in your kitchen and quite positive about the ability to improve sperm quality and count. I don't know - I think I'm getting cold feet about IVF.
trixie, good luck for your appointment. So soon before you get going - exciting!
Welcome Brenna and Rebecca. Rebecca, I was taking 3000mg EPO per day until ovulation for a few months before we got the male factor diagnosis in January at which point I stopped pretty much everything and tried to chill out. I took it to increase my cervical mucus.
Brenna, I hope you get your bfp soon without ivf. You have clearly been pregnant before so hopefully it's possible - is there any reason to think you aren't ovulating? My OH has reservations about ivf - not for religious reasons but for environmental ones (it's more the judgement about why we've chosen not to adopt). I think everyone needs to make the right decision for them. I don't feel great about ivf because of what my body will go through, but I've found that the reality of each decision point is so different to what I thought I would think - I'm on a train now and not sure at which point I'll feel able to get off. It's good in a way that you have a clear stopping point, but obviously fingers crossed you don't reach it.
Ah, sorry I've written so much. Hi to anyone I've missed!

sorry for the double-post.
Also, I forgot to congratulate stealth (whilst rudely referring to you in the third person!). Congrats on the excellent embryo haul. It's crazy that 6 looked great but weren't - you must feel so positive about your transfer. Good luck!

Boris - I just had to scroll back to see what possibly offensive thing I had missed! Don't be silly, of course we didn't mind your post :).

With that in mind, personally I want to know your updates, scans, appointments etc. I was however on another infertility thread where everyone else got their BFPs and it ended up that they were all discussing symptoms/fears about birth/names etc which was a bit stingy.

I think having all been through this you grads (!) will be aware of what would be too much for the rest of us. Please stick around

Just walking the dog, catch up with everything else later. Xx

so, can I just rant a bit about infertility and how annoying some people can be? I'm the deffo angry poster on this thread I can tell... Every thread has to have one!

There is one family member that, as a defence mechanism, I go very graphically into our fertility issues in the hope she backs off from asking. She's the typical cough and she's pregant family member and I really struggle. Anyway, perhaps she thought she was being helpful, but proceeded to tell me that the IVF drugs her friend had were the worst thing she had ever had to go through and she felt she was being poisoned? She actually said this to me and I'm petrified. Is it really bad??

I suppose the regimes are so different but what are the side affects of the common ones?

lucie and boris I definitely want scan updates etc!

itsme your family member sounds unhelpful at best, and a complete bitch at worst. IVF drugs are not poisonous. You may react very well to them (like banana who sailed through stims on v high dosages) or you may react not so well (like me who ended up with ohss on low doses) but either way it's not the worst thing in the world! Try to relax and am sure you will be just fine

It'sme - I'm glad your DH has rescheduled his trip. It's makes things much less stressful for you.

stealth - glad you had a good time in the U.S.

brenna - interesting about the IVF and religion. That's not something I had ever thought about. Fx you'll conceive naturally before that even becomes an issue. Can you have tests to see if there's a problem?

lucie - glad you've got your intralipids sorted. So 1 more lot after this is it?

MPP - I have no idea about prolactin I'm afraid, but it looks like the others have given you some good advice... As well as DR Google.

Trixie - nearly your time, how exciting! So you're having intralipids this time too?

Stealth -things are kicking off for you too, how exciting! Wow stealth, that's a good result. Scary to think those fab quality blasts could never have been humans. Makes me slightly concerned that none of my remaining 3 will be any good.

Rebecca - welcome, your definitely in good company here. Very knowledgable ladies :). I could be cycling at a similar time to you if we decide to go for the full immune testing. I tried EPO but only prior to ov. It delayed ov for me too... Did make my nails grow well though! Lol.

lucie - eek for your scan, how exciting! I get your nervousness though, and I'm glad you and DH have the day off together boris when is your scan?

banana - I'm so sorry your body is still messing you around.

star - lovely to hear from you again

itsme - omg to your family member. How crazily insensitive! It's not exactly the best thing ever, but I certainly wouldn't describe it as poisoning. Any specific questions please just ask.

itsme echoing stealth - I loved stimming. Both cycles. I didn't really have any side effects apart from mahoosive bloating (which abated when my sledgehammer doses were dropped). I felt like we were doing something really proactive, actually in the 1% doing rather than 99% waiting of infertility

I physically found IVF very easy going - I certainly don't feel in any way poisoned. And I was on elephantine doses of stims!!

As for me, AF is still about but far from being 'more painful and heavierthan normal' it's actually been very light. Should I be pleased or worried?

Also I have acupuncture booked now, first one will be on Saturday. I'm scared. How crazy is that? After all those needles I stabbed in myself I'm worried about these! Xx

Itsme I found the ivf drugs to be fine right up to the last two days when I started to feel bloated and hormonal (and the stress kicked in).

I'd reccomend googling you tube videos of how to inject yourself (when you know what your drug plan is) and doing lots of research. Understand your prescription and plan!

One thing I would say is EVERYONE has an ivf story involving someone else and is therefor an expert, whether it's someone who struggled with the drugs or someone who conceived triplets, or someone who needed 18 cycles. smile and nod.

Itsme, that's really not nice of your family member to worry you like that! I have found the meds themselves completely fine I've barely noticed any side effects from them, maybe the odd headache or bit of bloating but that's it. I think if you get ohss because you've over responded then that can be a bit rough afterwards but clinics are normally careful with the meds they prescribe to ensure that you don't get it really bad and like stealth said even if you do get it you will get through it it's not the end of the world. For me I've found the emotional side a lot harder than the physical side.

Sammy, that's mainly why I asked as I've noticed some people on other threads start taking over once they have their bfps and seem completely oblivious to others feelings. Obviously I'm sure us lovely ladies on here have no intention of doing that but just wanted to make sure that everyone is comfortable before I go rabbiting on about things. So I will definitely update with enough to keep you posted on significant events but no general pregnancy chit chat etc.

Star, please please don't be afraid of IVF. Yes it is emotionally taxing and you might need to have a few attempts but it is an amazing thing and gives you the best chance of getting pregnant. Of course have the sperm re-tested and if it has improved a little then try a bit longer but please don't leave it too late. I'm only 36 but already have diminished reserve and it has been a right fight to get one or two decent embryos per cycle. It only gets harder as time goes on and your age starts going against you so my advice would be don't delay if there is a problem or if you have been trying to conceive for a good length of time with no luck then get the ball rolling as soon as you can.

Banana, thanks for the heads up on the pregnancy thread I'm going to head over and see if I can track it down. That's brilliant you will get the immune tests done with penny at serum I've heard a lot of good things about them and whilst they are maybe not comparable in the same way with the Chicago tests penny will be able to tell you if you a high level on the Greek ones and then you can get a plan in place. You can have a little holiday too I'm liking the sound of it!

Trixie, don't feel bad at all. I completely understand and that's the reason that I asked. It doesn't matter if everyone else thought differently this is a trying to conceive thread and that takes priority.

I don't even have to go to Greece lucie! Just have some blood drawn in London and FedEx it to Athens. Same way as Dr Gorgy and ARGC send their bloods to Chicago

The guy at the lab has been super helpful. So I'm just trying to sort out phlebotomy services to draw the blood

Just seen this. Xx

Thanks Lucie

Star, I agree with what Lucie says. IVF is daunting but I found it physically easier than I expected (and I had mild OHSS due to pco) also it is great to have some blasts frozen as I feel it takes the pressure off.

Yep, definitely going to have intralipids this time Sammy and will be on a high dose of prednisolone. My AF after my first cycle was fairly light and painfree so wouldn't worry. You'll be fine with the acupuncture needles. Relax and enjoy

Thanks Trixie. From the way the nurse said it I felt sure it meant there's was something terribly wrong with me that mine wasn't bad!

Star - I had ohss too, and while I was very poorly and uncomfortable I would still not say I was 'poisoned'. And am going through it again soon! Xx

Banana that's brilliant! I knew serum did the immunes for £300 but I always thought it would entail a trip over there. Had I known you could just send the blood I may have even had it done myself by now! Will your doctor be happy to do that for you?

Sammy, I've seen a couple of those posts too. Very, very true! Yes definitely one more round of intralipids around 8 weeks and then possibly another at 11 or 12 but I haven't decided about that yet will do some more research etc. Glad your af has been ok. I wouldn't worry about flow I think everyone differs after treatment. That's brilliant you have your acupuncture booked. Don't worry about the needles they are so tiny and about the thickness of a hair. They don't put them in very far and you won't feel a thing!

Boris I know several people who had lots of cramps and all was well. I have one friend who has had 3 pregnancies and 3 miscarriages. She had cramping and heavy bleeding (so heavy she was in hospital for 6 hours at one point) in her healthy pregnancies and the miscarriages were problem free until she lost them. She was generous enough to share her stories when I was having minor bleeds and gave me a lot of hope. I hope that you are one of the success stories. Thank you for the offer to pm you and for sharing your experience of it. I am always up for hearing about others thoughts and experiences. DH is very against it on the grounds of 'playing god'. He is fine with tests and drugs to boost fertility etc so we could at least find out what the problem is (if there is one) and potentially treat it. I am hoping that we have just been unlucky the last few months. I am not exactly getting any younger and I was amazed we concieved so fast the first time. TBH I am kind of relieved that it is just not on the cards. I am not sure I could cope with the cycles of getting hopes up and then potential failure etc. It will either happen or it won't.

Star I think I am ovulating almost every month. I have very regular cycles, I am been temping and using OPKs and I get 2 days of positives on the IC OPKs followed by a temperature dip, then a good rise until Af arrives. The only month I think I didn't was February and that was at the end of a horrendously stressful period starting with my good friend going into hospital just before christmas. I was up and down through all the storms to visit her, mostly while she was either unconcious or agitated and in pain. She died in January at the stupidly young age of 31 of a brain tumour and he funeral ended up being on DH's 40th birthday. On top of which my niece miscarried in november and december and it took about a month and was full of scares that it may be ectopic/bad monitoring by her hospital etc. So I didn't really get the chance to process mine before being there for her while she went through far worse. Her Mum and Dad (my sister and BIL) died 3 years ago so she didn't have anyone else to be there. I also have a good long 15 day luteal phase and my lining looked good in the scans when I was pregnant. We still have no idea what caused the m/c.

Sammylou I am going to leave it another few cycles yet, then maybe go and get bloods done at the Drs and start investigations on me. I am hoping that it is more to do with bad luck/stress from the above and work that have just knocked things off a bit. I am 38 now so that won't be in my favour either. IVF is a bit of a minefield with religion. Especially catholicism as they are far more strict and fundamentalist. My job is even quite a minefield as some of our cells lines are from human embryonic tissue, so I have to be careful which ones I work with. Luckily my main cell line is a type of stem cell that has been made from human skin cells. 5 years ago we would have been using embryonic stem cells to do the same job.

Itsme that is a horrible thing to say to you. Everyone's experiences vary and most people who have got a BFP at the end would tell you it is worth it. I am a cell biologist and it is not my area of expertise but I can tell you for sure it is not poison. I know some people who have found it hard and they have been very hormonal and others who have found it not too bad at all so it varies widely. I suggest every time she picks up a cup of tea/coffee/wine/slice of bread etc start telling her how it is poison and go militant health vegan on her in revenge

Morning all!

Trixie my essay is due in a week tomorrow. I'm a complete mess about essays and they make me panic. According to my DP, I switch between becoming mute and glaring at everyone, and having irrational breakdowns over which socks to wear when it's essay time. We've got 9 weeks Til the wedding, and in that time I have 4 essays and one exam to revise for. Our house will be chaos for the next few weeks I think I blame James joyce

Banana a pregnancy after infertility thread is sheer genius! I can imagine it must be weird being on a 'normal' pregnancy thread after all this, and if we ever get our second line, I would much prefer to be on a thread where people get it. I'm so sorry you're still getting bfps. I can't imagine how much that must sting, and the limbo. Thinking of you. Xx

Lucie I looked at joining the fertility friends board the other night while I was lying in bed, but my phone was a knob wouldn't let me. I'm still fully intending to join the thread you pointed out for me :)

Boris no way was your earlier post offensive in the slightest! :)

I'm not done catching up but after yesterday's epic post loss I'm going to post this before continuing I think :)

Star it's actually looking more like we'll get going in August now for a bunch of reasons, though if timings etc work out, we'll still try for June or July. I was a bit about the possibility of an extra two months to wait but it makes sense so I'll just look at it as time to try and lose a few more pounds and keep up my supplements. No, we actually haven't bothered with supplements for DP now we've made the decision to get started with ivf, though I've no idea if that's sensible of us or if it doesn't matter either way. However, when I was filling out the reprofit forms yesterday, I checked out his figures and while on the most recent test his count was up (by a measly .2 that doesn't really mean anything) his motility and forward motility had actually halved! No idea what caused that. We did think about not having the retest and just trying for a couple more months but with hindsight I'm glad we had the retest. My thinking was that even if the numbers had gone up, it could still take a few months to get a bfp. I saw it as sort of a reset, starting from cycle one but with a decent count that gave us similar odds to people without mf, and therefore it still might not happen straightaway. No issue if I KNEW the count had gone up, but a big one for me if we tried and tried, then had a retest and found out nothing has changed iyswim. I very much hope you get better results, whether you retest or end up with a surprise bfp!

itsme what a fucking awful, truly horrendous thing for someone to say to you! I applaud you for not punching her in the fucking face telling her where to go. Everyones given you some fab examples of their experience and hopefully made you feel a bit better about it all. People can be ridiculously insensitive I think. I have a group of friends who I love very much, but just don't get it and make some stupid comments and observations sometimes. One of them told me very kindly a few weeks ago in response to me saying we were off to Brno for ivf that I'm 'making it too sciencey. Babies should be born out of love'. Honest to God, I was speechless. Number 1) we didn't START sciency. We were actually quite relaxed for 6 months and it DIDN'T BLOODY HAPPEN! 2) We've now had 3 doctors explain that, with the mf, we are very unlikely to concieve naturally and need icsi. 3) out of love??? We've endured being poked and prodded in places that haven't been fun, we've shoved umpteen tablets/vitamins/capsules down our throats, we've had timed sex, untimed sex, ceiling sex, quick sex (but not butt sex, cos that's not helpful), we've smiled for our friends when they've given us happy news, we've thrown money at opks, vits, private treatment and now ivf, and we've devoted all our time and energy into ttc. But through it, we've supported each other, been there for each other, held each other when we've been upset, cried, talked and even laughed about some aspects of this crap. If anything, it's brought us closer. If that's not love, then I'm obviously a very confused individual!

Unfortunately, I didn't actually say any of those things because I'm one of those people who goes quiet then later thinks 'well, I should have said...'. Maybe if I had, she would have understood a little better and not said anything like it in future, to me or anyone else.
I'm going to press post again before I continue my catch up.

Sorry all, that was more ranty than I expected it to be!

Moving on...

Sammy I can't really advise on af. Should it be heavier etc after ivf? What is af like normally for you? Can you check with your doctor? How light is light? I hope you are OK. I saw a variation of the pic you posted on facebook a few days ago, and I intend to share it. I think those jokes are another example of how people just don't understand and don't think.

Hi Brenna. I'm so sorry for your losses I'm no help on the religious aspect with regards to ivf I'm afraid, but I do find it intriguing to think about. I'd never considered Catholic opinions on ivf before. I hope you aren't here long, in the nicest possible way

I think that's it, though apologies if I missed anyone! I've now written more words here this morning than in my essay! Back to work!