mpp I can’t believe your friend said that about IVF. Well, fuck her. Yes IVF is sciencey. But our baby was made with as much love as anyone else’s, just with some help from science. We did all my nightly injections together. We went to most appointments together. He was there by my side when I woke up from the sedation after egg collection. Yes, the egg and the sperm got jiggy with it in a petri dish, but so what? Is that any less valid than a drunken shag? And science gave us the privilege of seeing our baby on the screen when he or she was just 5 days post conception. That’s pretty damn amazing.
Now, admittedly DH and I had a giggle at transfer when I was there legs akimbo up in stirrups, with him sat next to me with a plastic apron and shower cap theatre shoe covers, and joked ‘it’s not EXACTLY a weekend in Paris?!’. But as he held my hand and we watched the embryo squirted into me on the ultrasound monitor, we both got teary. Our baby was made because of a deep love for each other and for the child we wanted to bring into this world. You don’t go through the physical, financial and emotional stress of fertility treatment for any reason other than love. I don’t think you could say our babies aren’t made with anything other than love (with help from science), because of the lengths we are going to in order to become parents.
And our babies will know just how very very deeply wanted they were and are, because of how hard we fought to bring them into our lives. When we saw our little wriggling jellybean on screen with a beautiful flashing heartbeat, we didn’t think ‘oh what a shame our baby was made with science’. We felt overwhelmed with love and joy that science had helped us to that point. Until she has walked in our shoes, your friend had absolutely no right to spout off about things she knows nothing about. Now very sadly our baby didn’t make it, but that had nothing to do with how it was conceived. Once the embryo is inside you, you are no different to anyone else, the only difference is that the embryo came in from the bottom rather than from the top. Sadly our pregnancy didn’t have a happy outcome, but it’s an outcome that sadly happens to many, many pregnancies, regardless of how the baby was conceived.
Brenna completely understand that there are reservations about IVF - it’s interesting that in Italy IVF is permitted, but with strict regulations about how many eggs may be fertilised at once: I believe that eggs may be frozen, but embryos may not, to avoid the risk of surplus embryos. I understand that there’s still no getting round that conception takes place outside of intercourse, and fully respect anyone’s beliefs, just really an observation about how a Catholic country has tried to reconcile the two in some way. I very much hope you will get your BFP very soon via the old fashioned way!
sammy Good luck for acupuncture! The needles are absolutely teeny, you won’t even feel them, just a little fizzing feeling when they get the right spot. Most people say they find the sessions really relaxing, hoping you come out of it feeling suitably relaxed
lucie yep, the Dr I’m speaking to at Locus Medicus (they’re the lab who do the Hidden-C tests you see mentioned on FF a lot, and who do all the immunes for Serum) is really lovely and helpful. Sorting out shipping is a bit of a ballache but I’m trying to see if I can get TDL to do it; lady I spoke to said I’d have to sort it, but FF posts seem to suggest you can pay extra for TDL to send bloods off (by women who’ve done the Chicagos directly with RFU, not going via Dr G). So going to ask nicely and see if I can throw money at the problem!
Dr will prescribe immunes tx empirically, and I’m getting the tests done off my own back - he’s not terribly pro testing, but tbh I’d like to get a general indicator where there might be any issues, as if we can identify a particular problem area, it might be that I can ask if the dose of pred or clexane might need to be tweaked accordingly.
trixie yep it’s pretty good! I could get the basic NK blood test done here, but it just gives the total concentration of NK cells. The Athens tests are similar to the Chicago tests, in that they look at how aggressive the NK cells are by seeing how they react to intralipids. The Chicagos I think use IVIG, but the principle is the same.
The 300 Euro (not £, will check the exchange rate- although it’ll end up more than £300 with shipping and phlebotomy) covers
- Immunophenotyping of peripheral blood lymphocytes
- NK cell cytotoxicity assay with Ιntralipid
- Th1/Th2 cytokine ratio assay
So not everything the Chicagos cover, but enough to give some general indication, I think
Hugs and waves to boris, itsme, trixie, stealth & star
My hormones are up and down like a yoyo - although it’s hard to tell what’s hormones and what’s just ‘really sad about losing the baby’ grief. My body is just taunting me, as my boobs still look really pregnant (I’m v small framed so any changes are really obvious) and still getting blazing BFPs. Ugh. Hopefully maybe the sudden ‘wah!’ PMT-esque mood swings are a sign that the preggo hormones are starting to right themselves.